In the Beginning (Humor)

[Guest guest]

I may have shared this one in the past, but today seems like a good time to

let it make the rounds again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the Beginning . . .

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the

Earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red

vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's and Krispy

Kreme Donuts. And Satan said, " You want chocolate with that? " And Man said

" Yea, " and woman said, " And another one with sprinkles. " And they gained 10

pounds.

And God created the healthful yogurt that woman might keep the figure that

man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the

cane, and combined them. And woman went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said, " Try my fresh green salad. "

And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing and garlic toast on the side.

And man and woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, " I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in

which to cook them. "

And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it

needed its own platter.

And man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then brought running shoes so that his children might lose those extra

pounds.

And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to

toil changing the channels. And man and woman laughed and cried before the

flickering light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with

nutrition.

And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into

chips and deep-fried them. And man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that man might consume fewer calories and still

satisfy his appetite.

And Satan created Mc's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then

said, " You want fries with that? " And man replied, " Yea! And super size

'em. " And man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created HMOs

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For this coming year, let's remember to concentrate on those good things

that God gave us and resist that devil!

Happy New Year's!