Guest guest Posted November 10, 2002 Report Share Posted November 10, 2002 In a message dated 11/9/02 6:51:59 PM Eastern Standard Time, careyjean74@... writes: > " Woah, there's a sexy hunk of woman. " Can I borrow him. Sounds like a gem of a man. My hubby loves me BUT hates my weight. He says I was not that way when he married me. NH Mommy to Abby Liz 10-25-94 Mommy to Anne 7-1-99 228/228/199 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 10, 2002 Report Share Posted November 10, 2002 > My husband drives me nuts. He bought me the gazelle and tapes for my birthday. So he's supportive, Mine usually lets me have whatever weight loss gimmicks I want, as long as we can afford them. That accounts for my treadmill and exercise video collection, as well as all the Deal A Meal card sets and FoodMovers. > He thinks there's nothing wrong with my weight. My guy does look at the young, thin ones, but that's it, a quick glance. He has *always* said to me that I'm fine at whatever weight I am, and prefers it when I'm now on a " diet " because I get cranky. > yelled down the stairs " I brought donuts, come get some. " He knows I don't do sweets, but will instead tempt me with my favorite foods, like a sub sandwich or even plain old hot dogs. >I know he doesn't " force " me to eat. No, but does he give you those big-old puppy dog eyes if you say No? >He is a little overweight (like 20 pounds) and no matter what he eats, he stays within 10 pounds of his Same as mine. Even in his drinking days, when he would polish off a 6-pack of pints of Bud every night, as well as the munchies that went with it, he would stay at 220 - the same weight he was since he graduated college in the early 1970's. Now that he eats relatively healthy and hasn't had a drink in over 25 years, he's *still* 220! At least *he* doesn't have a closet gull of clothes in varying sies like most women. Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 10, 2002 Report Share Posted November 10, 2002 > He tells me that he is embarrassed to go in public with me. He tells me my > ass is as big as a barn door. He tells me that I make him sick! One of this list's members went through something similar just last year. He husband told her he wanted a divorce because she wasn't as thin as she was when they married. Like having 3 kids didn't change *his*?!? He went as far as moving out for a few weeks. Of course that was just one of a few complaints he had, but he threw it in her face every chance he had, it seems. That member is still here but hasn't posted in a long time, so I don't know what's been happening lately, but I do know she went through many attempts to lose weight over the years, and each time what little weight she was able to lose came right back on. > He is always comparing his stopping drinking alcohol to me going on a diet. So does Overeaters Anonymous. The difficulty in stopping is that you can love without alcohol and remove it from your life completely, but everyone *must* eat to survive. It's actually harder to lose weight and keep it off than it is to stop abusing alcohol and drugs. > I know they are both hard. But Alcohol causes divorce and bad things > well......he informed me that weight does too. He's right. I'm sure many divorces occur because the man wants a thinner wife to show off. It's become a cliche, a joke. Don't you know about " trophy wives " , the young, thin blondes that older men divorce their older, plumper wives to marry? It's been going on since the beginning of time. And I'm sure as many health problems are caused by excess eating as excess drinking, and car accidents, too. Both can impair your judgement and distract a driver from the road, especially for those people who are constantly snacking and trying to open a candy bar wrapper while driving down a highway. You, yourself, have been having chest pains that you refuse to go to your doctor about, right? I'm sure they're related to your weight in a way, and not " hormones " from that baby you had months ago. Chest pains are *not* part of a normal post partum recovery. And may of you other medical complaints can possible be related to your excess weight and bad eating habits, too. You've got to clean up your act. Make those meal plans, drink that water! Did you ever start that food journal to see in black and white exactly how much you're eating? *You* are the only one who can control your eating. YOU are responsible for YOU. When are you going to start taking care of yourself? Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 10, 2002 Report Share Posted November 10, 2002 ----- Original Message ----- From: " " <rdclark1@...> > He tells me that he is embarrassed to go in public with me. He tells me my > ass is as big as a barn door. He tells me that I make him sick! > He is always comparing his stopping drinking alcohol to me going on a diet. I'm so sorry that your husband is abusive. Yep, that's what it is. Plain and simple abuse. No one should have to live with someone who treats them like that. Is there any way you can go to councelling? Ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 10, 2002 Report Share Posted November 10, 2002 Actually, I have not had *chest pains* in a long time. They were not actually chest pains. They were more or less boob pains. I call my boobs " my chest " . Actually I call everything above my breast bone my chest. So, if I have a pain anywhere in that radiation, then I consider it my chest. There was only two times I thought I was having heart trouble and that was when my whole upper body hurt and it turned out to be my gallbladder. Then when my arm went numb....which was more than likely do to a pinched off nerve. I called my cousin and she said hers does the same thing. I picked up a cup the other day and it sent a sharp twisting nerve pull up my wrist. I think it had something to do with that. Anyway, my cousin told me that I could relax, I was not having a heart attack. She told me I however needed some anxiety medications.....because I was wired! LOL. Your right though, I am in control of my body and I get more water than anyone I know. I am doing something about my weight, slowly but surely. And I will do everything I can to better myself to keep from having to go to the Dr. They scare me and I cant help it. I have a cute new hair style and I feel good about myself, if only hubby would feel good with me. He dont even kiss me anymore. A peak here and there before one of us leaves and that is it. I will send in a picture of what I look like at the website sometime afterwhile. Taken just the other day. I still have really bad back aches from the complicated c/section that I went through, and I have really bad cramping. My boobs drip around certain days of my cycle and my Dr. told me that I was still going through changes since delivery. Having 2 miscarriages and then a baby is very hard on a body. Im doing better though. And, just since I am being so honest here, I went out the other night with a gal friend and we had some very good wine coolers and I felt good about myself. I guess weight can sometimes put you in the glumps and depression mode. Thanks---- Re: Weight and husbands > > He tells me that he is embarrassed to go in public with me. He tells me > my > > ass is as big as a barn door. He tells me that I make him sick! > > > One of this list's members went through something similar just last year. He > husband told her he wanted a divorce because she wasn't as thin as she was > when they married. Like having 3 kids didn't change *his*?!? He went as far > as moving out for a few weeks. Of course that was just one of a few > complaints he had, but he threw it in her face every chance he had, it > seems. > > That member is still here but hasn't posted in a long time, so I don't know > what's been happening lately, but I do know she went through many attempts > to lose weight over the years, and each time what little weight she was able > to lose came right back on. > > > > He is always comparing his stopping drinking alcohol to me going on a > diet. > > So does Overeaters Anonymous. The difficulty in stopping is that you can > love without alcohol and remove it from your life completely, but everyone > *must* eat to survive. It's actually harder to lose weight and keep it off > than it is to stop abusing alcohol and drugs. > > > > I know they are both hard. But Alcohol causes divorce and bad things > > well......he informed me that weight does too. > > He's right. I'm sure many divorces occur because the man wants a thinner > wife to show off. It's become a cliche, a joke. Don't you know about " trophy > wives " , the young, thin blondes that older men divorce their older, plumper > wives to marry? It's been going on since the beginning of time. > > And I'm sure as many health problems are caused by excess eating as excess > drinking, and car accidents, too. Both can impair your judgement and > distract a driver from the road, especially for those people who are > constantly snacking and trying to open a candy bar wrapper while driving > down a highway. > > You, yourself, have been having chest pains that you refuse to go to your > doctor about, right? I'm sure they're related to your weight in a way, and > not " hormones " from that baby you had months ago. Chest pains are *not* part > of a normal post partum recovery. And may of you other medical complaints > can possible be related to your excess weight and bad eating habits, too. > > You've got to clean up your act. Make those meal plans, drink that water! > Did you ever start that food journal to see in black and white exactly how > much you're eating? *You* are the only one who can control your eating. YOU > are responsible for YOU. When are you going to start taking care of > yourself? > > > Sue > > > > To receive message digests instead of individual messages send an > email to:100-plus-digest > To receive individual messages instead of digests, send email to: > 100-plus-normal > To stop receiving messages via email (you may still read messages on the Web),send an email to: 100-plus-nomail > To leave the list, send a blank email to: 100-plus-unsubscribe > To contact the owners of this group, send an email to: > 100-plus-owner > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 10, 2002 Report Share Posted November 10, 2002 >There was > only two times I thought I was having heart trouble and that was when my > whole upper body hurt and it turned out to be my gallbladder. Did you actually go see a doctor, or are you self diagnosed? I remember you kept saying you couldn't afford to see a doctor, and hated to go, anyway. Then when > my arm went numb....which was more than likely do to a pinched off nerve. I > called my cousin and she said hers does the same thing. And my father has a frequent cough, just like my stepmom. Hers was pneumonia, his is a relapse of his lung cancer. Only a doctor can diagnose you, not your cousin. > And I will do everything I can to better myself to keep from having to go to > the Dr. They scare me and I cant help it. You need to go see a doctor!!! Stop being a baby and get yourself taken care of! I have a cute new hair > style and I feel good about myself, You could have spent the same amount of money getting an EKG. > days of my cycle and my Dr. told me that I was still going through changes > since delivery. When did he say this? You keep telling us you haven't seen a doctor since right after you delivered, *months* ago. >and we had some very good wine coolers > and I felt good about myself. (sigh) I give up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 10, 2002 Report Share Posted November 10, 2002 I call the Dr. on the phone. I ask them questions over phone--and they dont seem worried and none have suggested a EKG. My cousin is an RN---and knows alot of what Dr. will tell me. She is pretty good. I did self diagnois myself with the gallbladder--I was right and it was taken out in 1998. linda Re: Weight and husbands > >There was > > only two times I thought I was having heart trouble and that was when my > > whole upper body hurt and it turned out to be my gallbladder. > > Did you actually go see a doctor, or are you self diagnosed? I remember you > kept saying you couldn't afford to see a doctor, and hated to go, anyway. > > > Then when > > my arm went numb....which was more than likely do to a pinched off nerve. > I > > called my cousin and she said hers does the same thing. > > And my father has a frequent cough, just like my stepmom. Hers was > pneumonia, his is a relapse of his lung cancer. Only a doctor can diagnose > you, not your cousin. > > > > > And I will do everything I can to better myself to keep from having to go > to > > the Dr. They scare me and I cant help it. > > You need to go see a doctor!!! Stop being a baby and get yourself taken care > of! > > > I have a cute new hair > > style and I feel good about myself, > > You could have spent the same amount of money getting an EKG. > > > > > days of my cycle and my Dr. told me that I was still going through changes > > since delivery. > > When did he say this? You keep telling us you haven't seen a doctor since > right after you delivered, *months* ago. > > > >and we had some very good wine coolers > > and I felt good about myself. > > (sigh) I give up. > > > To receive message digests instead of individual messages send an > email to:100-plus-digest > To receive individual messages instead of digests, send email to: > 100-plus-normal > To stop receiving messages via email (you may still read messages on the Web),send an email to: 100-plus-nomail > To leave the list, send a blank email to: 100-plus-unsubscribe > To contact the owners of this group, send an email to: > 100-plus-owner > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 10, 2002 Report Share Posted November 10, 2002 Its not the same. You can live with out alcohol but you can't live with out food. Both can can divorce. But then divorce can be caused by other reasons too. And the flip side is true. Some times people stay together in spite of everything. I wish you the best. Jelayne Re: Weight and husbands Im having a difficult time right now, so I am going to tell you how it is right now. He tells me that he is embarrassed to go in public with me. He tells me my ass is as big as a barn door. He tells me that I make him sick! He is always comparing his stopping drinking alcohol to me going on a diet. He equalizes the two and to me (stop drinking) is not the same as dieting. I know they are both hard. But Alcohol causes divorce and bad things well......he informed me that weight does too. Im very, very depressed right now. ----- Original Message ----- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 10, 2002 Report Share Posted November 10, 2002 ----- Original Message ----- From: " carey anderson " <careyjean74@...> > I was wondering something. What do your husbands say and think about your weight? Do you think they help or hinder your weight loss efforts? Are they supportive? Hmmmm... Dh and I have been married for almost 10 years and we dated off and on for almost 9 years before that. Yikes! We met in college in 1984. He's seen me size 6 and size 26. I'm sure he would prefer to have a slim wife but he never gives me a hard time about my weight. I think he's more worried about my health than my weight. He totally pisses me off sometimes (this afternoon!!!) about other things but he's a pretty good guy. He's proud of me for losing 20 pounds but he's seen me do that many, many times before so I think he is probably secretly skeptical. At least he doesn't voice his doubts. He doesn't seem to intentionally sabotage but he does sometimes suggest a bag of microwave popcorn or a trip to Cici's pizza buffet or something else I need to avoid. He's a good guy and I'm lucky and I need to appreciate him a little more I think. I think I'll send him an e-card so he'll get it at his office in the morning. I'm worried about weighing in tomorrow since we had a very rare date on Sat. night and we went to Babin's for seafood. Appetizer was a sinful cheesy concoction with lots of different seafood. It was soooooo good! Dinner was a broiled mixed seafood grill platter. At least I didn't order a huge fried platter. Dessert was a big piece of key lime pie. We spent way too much money but 's been wanting to try that restaurant for a long time. It's ok to do that occasionally but I'm afraid it will erase all my hard work for the week. I'll report in tomorrow. At least I stopped when I felt full and we brought home lots of leftovers. Ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 11, 2002 Report Share Posted November 11, 2002 <PRE>Hang in there. You are doing it for you and not for him. I know it is hard but when he says those things consider the source we understand and are here for you Peace Pat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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