Re: What's up!?!? & OT

[Guest guest]

> Hi everyone. After reading Sue's Administration note, I realized that I

> have not posted in a while.

You know that post wasn't directed towards you, right? I did mention you

were one of the busy ones. Still, it's nice to see you again.

> Well my faith in myself is improving but it also helps to know that Ali

> really is clue less to my true feelings. I think it explains alot of

> our conflicts... Interesting!?!?

I think it's time you guys scheduled some " couple time " together. Let Hyatt

take the kids somewhere, let Ali let someone else take care of the

restaurant for the night, and you guys rediscover each other.

I know, easier said than done, especially with 3 kids and a busy restaurant

to run, but you 2 have been spending so much time apart (mostly on purpose)

lately you don't know what's happening in each other's lives.

And stop berating yourself about school so much!! And stop comparing

yourself to the teachers in your class, thinking they're smarter than you.

You *know* how I feel about most " educators " out there! LOL

> I soon have to go to the Library to work on another paper... Darn, I am

> excited about it

Quite unlike Henry, who now has to spend the entire quarter semester doing a

research paper on the constitutionality of the Roe vs. Wade decision for his

American Government lesson. Am I so happy my schooldays are far behind me

now! LOL

How has your eating been? You mentioned the exercise, but have you gotten

some sort of routine down for providing the family and yourself with healthy

meals while all this is going on? At least have you replaced the chips with

*healthier* snacks? I remember you said that was a problem area for you.

Well, I'll let you get back to work. See you next time you get to catch your

breath.

Sue in NJ

[Guest guest]

> You know that post wasn't directed towards you, right? I did mention you

> were one of the busy ones. Still, it's nice to see you again.

I didn't think anything of it... other than I realized that I was getting to

know the

new ones & they have no clue who I am.

> Ali let someone else take care of the

> restaurant for the night, and you guys rediscover each other.

I wish but with school & stuff it seems like " we " have been put on the back

burner

again. I also don't want to push it until I drop a few of my extra pounds...

I'm

just not comfortable with myself.

> (mostly on purpose)

> lately you don't know what's happening in each other's lives.

You are absolutely right!

> And stop berating yourself about school so much!! And stop comparing

> yourself to the teachers in your class,

Well what I realized this past week is that I am not so inferior to them...

actually...... I might have a couple things up on them!!!

> How has your eating been?

Bingeing is less... but not totally gone. I find it a challenge to sneak a

binge in

without Hayat knowing... Why is it I want to see if I can get away with it?

You

would think I would grow up & see that it is only harming me. Yet maybe I need

to

sneak it because someone has invaded my territory. (I really do like Hayat

alot...

so please don't take that comment as a negative about her)

providing the family and yourself with healthy meals while all this is going on?

Meals are pretty good. Though Ali won a side of beef at Christmas & we have

eaten

more red meat then I would like.

At least have you replaced the chips with

some what... there are 2 bags of chips that have been in the house for almost 2

weeks... They will be gone soon (maybe by tomorrow's lunch.. for the kids)

Normally

they would not make it that long! So improvements have been made. Today I ate

at a

Chinese restaurant. I had a seafood & pea pod dish... I know (though it was not

fried) that there was too much fat in it but I did not have an egg roll or

anything

else!

mary

[Guest guest]

> again. I also don't want to push it until I drop a few of my extra

pounds... I'm

> just not comfortable with myself.

, do I have to tsk-tsk you again? You didn't wait to lose a few pounds

before you got your hair done or got new clothes, did you? And you see how

much better you felt after you did those things, right?

You don't have to " push " , just *be* there.

> Well what I realized this past week is that I am not so inferior to

them...

> actually...... I might have a couple things up on them!!!

You have real life experience, and in many ways that's far superior to " book

knowledge. "

> Bingeing is less... but not totally gone.

I realize some of it is probably nervous or habit eating when doing

schoolwork. Have you switched to lower-cal munchies? Even switching to a

" baked, not fried " chip or pretzels instead of greasy Doritos helps.

I find it a challenge to sneak a binge in

> without Hayat knowing... Why is it I want to see if I can get away with

it?

You're hanging out with too many kids! LOL

>>Though Ali won a side of beef at Christmas & we have eaten

> more red meat then I would like.

I *still* have a few of those Omaha steaks Ed's aunt gave us for Christmas,

too, and I think a few of the burgers are still buried in the freezer under

that chicken. I promised him that next week I'll make up the last of the

steak for him, once his taste buds come back (he has *another* cold).

> fried) that there was too much fat in it but I did not have an egg roll or

anything

> else!

Baby steps. You made pretty good choices, given the circumstances. Life

*does* go on while we're losing weight.

Sue in NJ

[Guest guest]

> You didn't wait to lose a few pounds

> before you got your hair done or got new clothes, did you? And you see how

> much better you felt after you did those things, right?

2-shay (I am sure it is a French word but I do not know how to spell

it!--touche!?!?)

> You have real life experience, and in many ways that's far superior to " book

> knowledge. "

You are right again. Last night in class I gave my 27 year old professor a

lesson!!! It was sort of fun... I just didn't know the " Psychological Theory "

the

behavior represented!!! I stumped him!!

> Have you switched to lower-cal munchies?

Yes... Actually not eating while studying. If I truly am hungry, I go to the

kitchen

table & eat whatever. (I study at the dining room table)

> > without Hayat knowing... Why is it I want to see if I can get away with

> it?

> You're hanging out with too many kids! LOL

I think so!

>

> I *still* have a few of those Omaha steaks Ed's aunt ....

It is wonderful to have this stuff but enough is enough. At least most of the

beef

is stored at the restaurant's freezer not mine. It's just that he brings it

home

when I start getting low & of course he encourages me not to buy any meat. It

makes

sense but give me my chicken!!!!

> Baby steps. You made pretty good choices, given the circumstances. Life

> *does* go on while we're losing weight.

And I refuse to give up chinese. But it is like pizza, I can make it at home

tastier

than eating it out and we know it is a lot healthier!!!! Chinese I don't have a

total grip on cooking it yet.

[Guest guest]

> I wish but with school & stuff it seems like " we " have been put on the

back burner

> again. I also don't want to push it until I drop a few of my extra

pounds... I'm

> just not comfortable with myself.

>

Please forgive me for being long...

I have to respond to this. I was 110 pounds with 13% body fat at 5 feet

tall (I was in the Navy and they constantly measure that stuff) when I got

married at 24.

I quit taking BCP because we wanted to have kids when we were young and

stupid-the BCP held the disease at bay. That is when the PCO (polycystic

ovarian disease/syndrome) started taking off. I gained 40 pounds in one

year, despite exercising and dieting (I was still in the Navy). I did not

know at the time it was the disease causing the problems.

Over the years I have watched my weight go up to my all time high of 220 ( I

am down to 214 now).

I used to feel bad about myself and how I appeared to my husband ( who has

stood by me through all this-it was not easy and we have went to

counseling).

Then I realized that I owed it to my husband, our two daughters and MYSELF

to make my marriage a priority in my life. So instead of concentrating on

myself and my feelings of inadequacies, I started concentrating on how my

husband felt and what I could bring to the marriage to make him happy ( and

make myself happy at the same time). So I do. No, I don't think I look very

sexy in my bigger body and sometimes I don't feel I am worth the attention.

However, my husband is worth the attention and he loves me-not just the skin

and bones I am packaged in. It took years for me to realize this. So,

sometimes I do where the slinky stuff in a candle lit room (as long as I

don't have to see it...) and I do it for him. And yeah, we are happy and he

still makes me mad and I still love him after 15 years.

Also...what if you did not gain weight, but were in a massive accident where

your appearance is greatly disfigured...would your husband still feel the

same. Or what if your husband gained a lot of weight or went bald or

something...Would you feel the same? You are a remarkable woman and you are

worth so much more, I am inspired by you and the other women on this board

and you all seem like really great people...and that is what counts for

life.

PS

How come my husband can gain over 30 pounds and look better than he did on

the day that we were married and I can't!!!!???Oh well, that is the curse of

being a woman.

One last thing-would you be * & ^%ed off if you found out that the engagement

ring your husband gave you was actually a ring he bought for someone else,

but broke off the relationship before he gave her the ring? Just

curious...and furious and-call me crazy, I still love him and he feels

really, really bad ;p (got a day off of housework for it)

[Guest guest]

pansygirl wrote:

> just not comfortable with myself.

>

Please forgive me for being long...

Then I realized that I owed it to my husband, our two daughters and

MYSELF

to make my marriage a priority in my life. So instead of concentrating

on

myself and my feelings of inadequacies, I started concentrating on how

my

husband felt and what I could bring to the marriage to make him happy

I think that you might have misunderstand our past. I have been trying to

make

everyone happy... but myself... resulting in

everyone suffering. By putting myself first (for the 1st time ... maybe

ever...) I am actually healing. I believe that doing for myself is

finally making me strong.... I still take very good care of my husband,

children, mother & sil.. (who also helps me... ) but, I have

priorities outside of the home too. This has done us a world of good. My

marriage is very important to me & I need to place it up

front.. but right now I need to be strong for myself. My weight is a huge

issue

in our relationship... it hurts us both.

sometimes I don't feel I am worth the attention.

I understand that feeling

However, my husband is worth the attention and he loves me-not just the

skin

and bones I am packaged in.

If Ali didn't truly love me in that way, he would have left years ago... but it

will

always be a big issue. I married him the way he is... I

cannot try to change him... he did not marry my this big.......

Also...what if you did not gain weight, but were in a massive accident

where

your appearance is greatly disfigured...would your husband still feel

the

same.

I am sure that Ali would stick by me if I got disfigured, etc. You see that is

God's

will... not mine.... I can ( should) correct my

weight...

Or what if your husband gained a lot of weight or went bald or

something...

He's going bald.... but again... that is God's will... Do you see the point? I

think

in a way the issue is also about personality

strengths... or lack of... If it can be corrected, you should ... if it can't

be

corrected, well.... Ali just does not understand the weight

problem... He believes that if you want to get thin, you just quit eating so

much...

Simple Huh!?!?!? LOLOLOLOLOL

[Guest guest]

Men, huh...can't live with them, can't live without them....

Re: What's up!?!? & OT

>

>

> pansygirl wrote:

>

>

>

>

> > just not comfortable with myself.

> >

> Please forgive me for being long...

>

>

>

> Then I realized that I owed it to my husband, our two daughters

and MYSELF

> to make my marriage a priority in my life. So instead of

concentrating on

> myself and my feelings of inadequacies, I started concentrating

on how my

> husband felt and what I could bring to the marriage to make him

happy

>

> I think that you might have misunderstand our past. I have been

trying to make

> everyone happy... but myself... resulting in

> everyone suffering. By putting myself first (for the 1st time ...

maybe

> ever...) I am actually healing. I believe that doing for myself is

> finally making me strong.... I still take very good care of my

husband,

> children, mother & sil.. (who also helps me... ) but, I have

> priorities outside of the home too. This has done us a world of

good. My

> marriage is very important to me & I need to place it up

> front.. but right now I need to be strong for myself. My weight is a

huge issue

> in our relationship... it hurts us both.

>

> sometimes I don't feel I am worth the attention.

>

>

> I understand that feeling

>

>

> However, my husband is worth the attention and he loves me-not

just the skin

>

> and bones I am packaged in.

>

> If Ali didn't truly love me in that way, he would have left years ago...

but it will

> always be a big issue. I married him the way he is... I

> cannot try to change him... he did not marry my this big.......

>

>

>

> Also...what if you did not gain weight, but were in a massive

accident where

>

> your appearance is greatly disfigured...would your husband still

feel the

> same.

>

> I am sure that Ali would stick by me if I got disfigured, etc. You see

that is God's

> will... not mine.... I can ( should) correct my

> weight...

>

> Or what if your husband gained a lot of weight or went bald or

> something...

>

> He's going bald.... but again... that is God's will... Do you see the

point? I think

> in a way the issue is also about personality

> strengths... or lack of... If it can be corrected, you should ... if it

can't be

> corrected, well.... Ali just does not understand the weight

> problem... He believes that if you want to get thin, you just quit eating

so much...

> Simple Huh!?!?!? LOLOLOLOLOL

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

pansygirl wrote:

> Men, huh...can't live with them, can't live without them....

I don't know... sometimes I think I could!!!! (Live without them) LOL