Re: Soooo frustrated ....

November 13, 2011

Having just been through a hospital stay due to " virtual " starvation, I can

promise him that that's a whole lot uglier than the rest of it.

You have my sympathy. You don't need this on your plate along with the rest.

HugZ,

>

> So get this -- my husband just got home from his parents house, where he was

hunting for a week. He walked in a few minutes before dinner so I set a place

for him. He didn't come to the table. When I asked if he was going to eat, he

said no. I said " let me guess .. you stopped at Mcs on the way home " . He

said no ... he hasn't eaten since WEDNESDAY! He said he can no longer keep

anything down.

>

> Are you freaking KIDDING ME?!?!?? I get that the tests are rough -- I wouldn't

want a tube shoved down my nose or throat. But what the heck is going to happen

to him? What does he THINK is going to happen to him? He'll just continue to

live without food??

>

> For those of you who don't know, my husband is STUBBORN. He was diagnosed with

A in July 2008 & had the Heller in November 2008. Had a 6 month checkup, they

ordered an endoscopy. He had it done, never called for the results & never went

back. Even after the dr sent 3 letters saying he should make an appt for another

checkup. They've continued to fill his Rx once a year, over the phone.

>

> This is especially hard right now, because my grandma went into the hospital a

week & a half ago. Something happened -- she had a stroke -- or she is suffering

from dementia -- or something -- but she's become extremely paranoid & won't

eat, because they are " out to poison her " . So she is slowly withering away.

>

> I know there's nothing I can do about my husband. I am just so angry & sad &

frustrated .... I just needed to vent!!

>

November 14, 2011

You both must be very scared of what will happen next. I'll be making good

wishes that he will get up the nerve to get some help.

On Nov 13, 2011, at 4:40 PM, " Ng good " <milwaukeemommy@...> wrote:

>

> I know there's nothing I can do about my husband. I am just so angry & sad &

frustrated .... I just needed to vent!!

November 14, 2011

How frustrating for you both. Can he get some Boost down? This sometimes goes

down easily and at least has some nutrients in i t.

Kim

________________________________

From: milwaukeemommy <milwaukeemommy@...>

achalasia

Sent: Sunday, November 13, 2011 7:40 PM

Subject: Soooo frustrated ....

Â

So get this -- my husband just got home from his parents house, where he was

hunting for a week. He walked in a few minutes before dinner so I set a place

for him. He didn't come to the table. When I asked if he was going to eat, he

said no. I said " let me guess .. you stopped at Mcs on the way home " . He

said no ... he hasn't eaten since WEDNESDAY! He said he can no longer keep

anything down.

Are you freaking KIDDING ME?!?!?? I get that the tests are rough -- I wouldn't

want a tube shoved down my nose or throat. But what the heck is going to happen

to him? What does he THINK is going to happen to him? He'll just continue to

live without food??

For those of you who don't know, my husband is STUBBORN. He was diagnosed with A

in July 2008 & had the Heller in November 2008. Had a 6 month checkup, they

ordered an endoscopy. He had it done, never called for the results & never went

back. Even after the dr sent 3 letters saying he should make an appt for another

checkup. They've continued to fill his Rx once a year, over the phone.

This is especially hard right now, because my grandma went into the hospital a

week & a half ago. Something happened -- she had a stroke -- or she is suffering

from dementia -- or something -- but she's become extremely paranoid & won't

eat, because they are " out to poison her " . So she is slowly withering away.

I know there's nothing I can do about my husband. I am just so angry & sad &

frustrated .... I just needed to vent!!

November 14, 2011

Try having him try ensure. I acted the same way as he did and i didn't want to

call anyone back for results or want to go to the doctor and then I ended up

being in the hospital. If he wants to act that way then I think it would be best

for you to take over and make appointments for him and check on results. If you

schedule an appointment would he be the type to just not go? Maybe try making

his favorite foods everyday and since he can't eat it maybe he will change his

mind and go to the doctor.

katie in philly

November 14, 2011

~~

Going to try this again: if he hasn't eaten anything for that long, and likely a

lot of what he's managed to drink has come back up, he's likely dehydrated, and

very unlikely to be thinking clearly. His electrolytes are going to be messed

up, which in turn messes everything else up. Try getting some Pediasure down

him, it might help him to think more clearly.

Home cooking/crock pot/blenderizing can also help get some *healthy* food to

go/stay down.

Again, good luck, and minny hugZ!

>

> I know there's nothing I can do about my husband. I am just so angry & sad &

frustrated .... I just needed to vent!!

>

November 14, 2011

I wish you and your hubby the best. This is a very frustrating illness and takes

a lot of patience to find answers/help. Most men are stubborn when it comes to

health care. I just read a billboard on the road this weekend that read,

" Stubbornness will kill 200,000 men this year. " And at the bottom said, " Men are

too stubborn to have necessary medical checkups to find prevent early

diagnosis. " My husband is the same, and for there to be a billboard on this

subject it is an epidemic, unfortunately. I agree with a previous person, make

the appointments and go with him if you can. Have him sign a paper at the

doctors for them to be allowed to discuss his test results, etc. with you. This

will help both of you in the future. Don't give up, he needs a driving force

behind him.

Barb

> >

>

> > I know there's nothing I can do about my husband. I am just so angry & sad &

frustrated .... I just needed to vent!!

> >

>

November 14, 2011

Thank you so much for all your support!

He hates both Boost & Ensure -- he had tried them when he was first diagnosed &

couldn't stand them. I know, it would be better to get some down anyway, but I

can't force it down him.

Unfortunately he works nights & I work days, so going with him to the dr is

tough. Yes I could make an appointment. Yes he would simply not go. I'd ask my

mom to take him but she has her hands full with my grandma right now. Aren't we

a fun bunch??

He will eventually have to go -- his Rx runs out in a month so he'll have to

call -- & I sure hope they would have enough sense to say he has to come in

before they'll refill. I know all my drs insist on a yearly check up -- no check

up, no meds.

I have no idea how he works for 8 hours on no food. And he's a welder!! Immense

physical labor.

That is incredible about the billboard -- I really thought it was just MY man

that was stubborn with his health -- interesting that lots of men are.

Again, I thank you -- I just needed some place to talk with people who

understand. I don't talk about it at work -- I don't really talk to my friends

about it -- & I don't want to bother my mom about it, like I said her plate is

quite full.

Bless you all,

xoxoxox

>

> So get this -- my husband just got home from his parents house, where he was

hunting for a week. He walked in a few minutes before dinner so I set a place

for him. He didn't come to the table. When I asked if he was going to eat, he

said no. I said " let me guess .. you stopped at Mcs on the way home " . He

said no ... he hasn't eaten since WEDNESDAY! He said he can no longer keep

anything down.

>

> Are you freaking KIDDING ME?!?!?? I get that the tests are rough -- I wouldn't

want a tube shoved down my nose or throat. But what the heck is going to happen

to him? What does he THINK is going to happen to him? He'll just continue to

live without food??

>

> For those of you who don't know, my husband is STUBBORN. He was diagnosed with

A in July 2008 & had the Heller in November 2008. Had a 6 month checkup, they

ordered an endoscopy. He had it done, never called for the results & never went

back. Even after the dr sent 3 letters saying he should make an appt for another

checkup. They've continued to fill his Rx once a year, over the phone.

>

> This is especially hard right now, because my grandma went into the hospital a

week & a half ago. Something happened -- she had a stroke -- or she is suffering

from dementia -- or something -- but she's become extremely paranoid & won't

eat, because they are " out to poison her " . So she is slowly withering away.

>

> I know there's nothing I can do about my husband. I am just so angry & sad &

frustrated .... I just needed to vent!!

>

November 14, 2011

Call his doctor and tell them what is going on. They will call him directly

and make an appt. to make sure he comes in if he calls for a refill. This

is not good.

I did this with my husband when he had oral cancer (cigarettes). They

called to make sure he was coming in for the appt. He said no...they pinned him

down. When can you come in? They then called him to remind him..and he

showed up! Trouble is he never stopped smoking and passed away. A singer with

no tongue in his mouth left.

My biggest lesson was that he was the only one who could save himself. We

did all the alternatives and I knew I could save him if only he would stop

smoking. My friend said, " We had such a great team for him, It was a shame

he wasn't on his own team! " That was 25 years ago.

Your husband is scared to death to hear the diagnosis. Get all your

strength from us and those around you. He cant see the forest for the trees.

We

are here for you.

in Santa Barbara

November 14, 2011

I agree with another post, if you call the doctors office and give them a heads

up of what is happening and don't refill meds without an appt, they will insist

he make appointment.

In the meantime, does he like Carnation Instant Breakfast, I found that to help

me with some nutrition when I have problems eating. Much better than Ensure. I

did find strawberry Ensure the best tasting, when necessary.

Good luck. Keep us posted on his/your progress.

BC

>

> Call his doctor and tell them what is going on. They will call him directly

> and make an appt. to make sure he comes in if he calls for a refill. This

> is not good.

>

> I did this with my husband when he had oral cancer (cigarettes). They

> called to make sure he was coming in for the appt. He said no...they pinned

him

> down. When can you come in? They then called him to remind him..and he

> showed up! Trouble is he never stopped smoking and passed away. A singer

with

> no tongue in his mouth left.

>

> My biggest lesson was that he was the only one who could save himself. We

> did all the alternatives and I knew I could save him if only he would stop

> smoking. My friend said, " We had such a great team for him, It was a shame

> he wasn't on his own team! " That was 25 years ago.

>

> Your husband is scared to death to hear the diagnosis. Get all your

> strength from us and those around you. He cant see the forest for the trees.

We

> are here for you.

>

> in Santa Barbara

>

November 14, 2011

I work constructon and maintenance as an electrician. I hate going to doctors

too. I had a myotomy about 4 years ago... along with a double hernia operation

Men like us don't get subtle. Ask him which clothes he wants to be burried in.

Tell him his tools (and truck?) will make a fine dowery. Join the gym and tell

him you will be a widow soon and need to get your " A game " on.

Dan

Sent from Smrtphone That Lacks Spellchecker

milwaukeemommy <milwaukeemommy@...> wrote:

>Thank you so much for all your support!

>

>He hates both Boost & Ensure -- he had tried them when he was first diagnosed &

couldn't stand them. I know, it would be better to get some down anyway, but I

can't force it down him.

>

>Unfortunately he works nights & I work days, so going with him to the dr is

tough. Yes I could make an appointment. Yes he would simply not go. I'd ask my

mom to take him but she has her hands full with my grandma right now. Aren't we

a fun bunch??

>

>He will eventually have to go -- his Rx runs out in a month so he'll have to

call -- & I sure hope they would have enough sense to say he has to come in

before they'll refill. I know all my drs insist on a yearly check up -- no check

up, no meds.

>

>I have no idea how he works for 8 hours on no food. And he's a welder!! Immense

physical labor.

>

>That is incredible about the billboard -- I really thought it was just MY man

that was stubborn with his health -- interesting that lots of men are.

>

>Again, I thank you -- I just needed some place to talk with people who

understand. I don't talk about it at work -- I don't really talk to my friends

about it -- & I don't want to bother my mom about it, like I said her plate is

quite full.

>

>Bless you all,

>xoxoxox

>

>>

>> So get this -- my husband just got home from his parents house, where he was

hunting for a week. He walked in a few minutes before dinner so I set a place

for him. He didn't come to the table. When I asked if he was going to eat, he

said no. I said " let me guess .. you stopped at Mcs on the way home " . He

said no ... he hasn't eaten since WEDNESDAY! He said he can no longer keep

anything down.

>>

>> Are you freaking KIDDING ME?!?!?? I get that the tests are rough -- I

wouldn't want a tube shoved down my nose or throat. But what the heck is going

to happen to him? What does he THINK is going to happen to him? He'll just

continue to live without food??

>>

>> For those of you who don't know, my husband is STUBBORN. He was diagnosed

with A in July 2008 & had the Heller in November 2008. Had a 6 month checkup,

they ordered an endoscopy. He had it done, never called for the results & never

went back. Even after the dr sent 3 letters saying he should make an appt for

another checkup. They've continued to fill his Rx once a year, over the phone.

>>

>> This is especially hard right now, because my grandma went into the hospital

a week & a half ago. Something happened -- she had a stroke -- or she is

suffering from dementia -- or something -- but she's become extremely paranoid &

won't eat, because they are " out to poison her " . So she is slowly withering

away.

>>

>> I know there's nothing I can do about my husband. I am just so angry & sad &

frustrated .... I just needed to vent!!

>>

>

November 14, 2011

I'm printing this out & taping it to his forehead

(I was going to say I'll tape it to the fridge but if he can't eat anything

.....)

> >>

> >> So get this -- my husband just got home from his parents house, where he

was hunting for a week. He walked in a few minutes before dinner so I set a

place for him. He didn't come to the table. When I asked if he was going to eat,

he said no. I said " let me guess .. you stopped at Mcs on the way home " .

He said no ... he hasn't eaten since WEDNESDAY! He said he can no longer keep

anything down.

> >>

> >> Are you freaking KIDDING ME?!?!?? I get that the tests are rough -- I

wouldn't want a tube shoved down my nose or throat. But what the heck is going

to happen to him? What does he THINK is going to happen to him? He'll just

continue to live without food??

> >>

> >> For those of you who don't know, my husband is STUBBORN. He was diagnosed

with A in July 2008 & had the Heller in November 2008. Had a 6 month checkup,

they ordered an endoscopy. He had it done, never called for the results & never

went back. Even after the dr sent 3 letters saying he should make an appt for

another checkup. They've continued to fill his Rx once a year, over the phone.

> >>

> >> This is especially hard right now, because my grandma went into the

hospital a week & a half ago. Something happened -- she had a stroke -- or she

is suffering from dementia -- or something -- but she's become extremely

paranoid & won't eat, because they are " out to poison her " . So she is slowly

withering away.

> >>

> >> I know there's nothing I can do about my husband. I am just so angry & sad

& frustrated .... I just needed to vent!!

> >>

> >

>

November 15, 2011

wrote:

>

> ... Ask him which clothes he wants to be burried in. Tell him his

> tools (and truck?) will make a fine dowery. Join the gym and tell him

> you will be a widow soon and need to get your " A game " on.

>

I love it. Just be sure to let him know you will still love him to the end.

notan

November 27, 2011

My husband came home today after over a week up north & he is worse. He can't

eat anything. He's trying to eat jello right now & he's not doing very well. He

spent a week with his mother & all this FOOD he couldn't eat. He said he felt

better on Wednesday & thought he could eat, tried a piece of steak (not what I

would eat after weeks of not eating) & promptly threw it up. He had a few bites

of mashed potatoes for Thanksgiving. He's mad that his dr hasn't called back. I

wanted to say " well you had years to call him & make an appt, & now that you

need him asap he's not available " but I kept my mouth shut. I told him if his

original dr won't call him back, then find someone who will. It's not like he

was one of the achalasia rock star drs anyway. I hope he can get a hold of

someone tomorrow.

>

> So get this -- my husband just got home from his parents house, where he was

hunting for a week. He walked in a few minutes before dinner so I set a place

for him. He didn't come to the table. When I asked if he was going to eat, he

said no. I said " let me guess .. you stopped at Mcs on the way home " . He

said no ... he hasn't eaten since WEDNESDAY! He said he can no longer keep

anything down.

>

> Are you freaking KIDDING ME?!?!?? I get that the tests are rough -- I wouldn't

want a tube shoved down my nose or throat. But what the heck is going to happen

to him? What does he THINK is going to happen to him? He'll just continue to

live without food??

>

> For those of you who don't know, my husband is STUBBORN. He was diagnosed with

A in July 2008 & had the Heller in November 2008. Had a 6 month checkup, they

ordered an endoscopy. He had it done, never called for the results & never went

back. Even after the dr sent 3 letters saying he should make an appt for another

checkup. They've continued to fill his Rx once a year, over the phone.

>

> This is especially hard right now, because my grandma went into the hospital a

week & a half ago. Something happened -- she had a stroke -- or she is suffering

from dementia -- or something -- but she's become extremely paranoid & won't

eat, because they are " out to poison her " . So she is slowly withering away.

>

> I know there's nothing I can do about my husband. I am just so angry & sad &

frustrated .... I just needed to vent!!

>

November 28, 2011

He's lucky to have you.Â

My Thanksgiving wasn't too bad, although I had to go back to the Prilosec after

a couple of nights of waking up in pain. Some stay on it, as Richter advises,

and some of us are reluctant to inhibit our proton pumps forever, thinking they

have a job to do.Â

I find mashed potatoes and turkey, among my favorite foods, tough to eat when my

LES is inflamed, probably from failing to take Prilosec at the first sign of a

problem. Pasta with tomato sauce makes me pay too. Can your husband drink soda

or beer? I don't care for Guinness since they changed it, but it has lots of

calories as do many craft beers, which taste pretty good IMHO. They help wash

down food for me but too much relaxes my post myotomy LES at night feeding a bad

cycle.

If you checked the lists on this group's site, you'd have noticed that certain

foods bother some of and not others. Genrally, " gluggy " foods that stick

together are worse than crunchy foods. A bit of heated ceam cheese and tuna on

crackers goes down better than tuna on bread.... Tastes good too.

Oh yeah, I always say this, but it's worth repeating: stress messes us up. I get

spasms and flare ups of symptoms when I get stressed out. We all have to get

better at managing stress, but achalasians more so than others.

Dan

Sent from Smrtphone That Lacks Spellchecker

November 28, 2011

i have also found that a nice glass (not small glass) of wine helps relax my

LES.. sip a while then try eating. after and hour or so.. it helped me for a

long time (till the LES closed ALL the way.. then i got the myotomy) i still

drink some wine at night. it really helps me. Kim Ellen

November 29, 2011

Yikes!!!! My doctor told me to follow up whether I am feeling good or not once a

year. And manometry is very unpleasant but if it is needed for further treatment

to see how much pressure there is, then so be it. I have to go next Friday for

one and really am not thrilled!

Â

I hope he gets better soon. Is he going to Froedert>

Â

Kim in Kenosha

________________________________

From: milwaukeemommy <milwaukeemommy@...>

achalasia

Sent: Sunday, November 27, 2011 8:23 PM

Subject: Re: Soooo frustrated ....