in WI

[Guest guest]

--- On Wed, 20/10/10, milwaukeemommy <milwaukeemommy@...> wrote

" My husband is determined to not see a doctor ---he is not eating well, he

doesn't take vitamins & he is losing weight. He works 2nd shift so I only see

him on the weekends --I don't even know what goes on during the week while I'm

at work. On Monday I could see that he did not eat breakfast nor lunch, but he

did eat a huge chunk of cake & some Pop Tarts. Bleah.

I will not say anything to him anymore. He knows how I feel. It upsets him when

I mention anything about his health. He knows what he is doing to himself. He

says every time he sees a doctor they find something wrong, so I guess denial is

his way of dealing with it. I don't know, I don't have the disease so I guess I

can't really judge. But he is 42 years old & is slowly going downhill "

 

Dear ,

 

I feel so much compassion for you. I know that it is very hard on us to have to

put up with achalasia. I am not under-mining the distress that it causes, one

little bit. BUT.....in the majority of cases it is a condition that can be

sorted to a very liveable degree. Please try to make him see that things could

be so much worse. I have recently heard of a man, who I do not really know, who

has just discovered that what he thought were some pretty ordinary abdominal

pains, are actually pancreatic, liver and lung cancer.

 

Now personally I do not know how people cope with a diagnosis like that. I

really don't, and don't want to dwell on that thought for too long. But what I

am trying to get across to your Husband is that achalasia is not on the same

level as that devastating situation.

 

I wonder if his reluctance to help himself (and you) is down to depression. It

seems to accompany achalasia in quite a lot of instances. Maybe that's the thing

that needs treating first of all. If he feels better about himself and his

world, he may realise that he is worth saving from this doom-laden existence.

 

Sorry to sound so dramatic, but I feel so strongly about this, because it is

such a waste of a good and precious life. And I know that you suffer alongside

him.

 

Sending you great love and strength across the Pond.

From Ann in England.