RE: The role of medicine is to restore us to a normal Tuesday : myotomy booked

[Guest guest]

You so deserve a normal Tuesday!I am glad you have decided to get

the operation.It is scary and your feelings are not

irrational at all.I often think daily too about the what if's

because I just cant see my son going through anymore.

I just try to tell myself that this operation will have to make him

better cause it cant get worse.He is now better as I know you will

be too after surgery.You will see and feel normal again as you once

did.I cant wait to hear about your first outing with your children

when you can run jump play and eat normal.You desreve it.Where are

you getting it done?

Tonia

>

> G'day! On the weekend my husband and I decided I should have the

operation as soon as

> possible. So this morning I picked up the phone, and with

trembling hands and shaking

> voice, made the appointment for the 15 February. Rang my family in

Australia to let them

> know. It's hard for them, I think, to be so far away and to know

that I am suffering.

>

> I think our children are glad about the operation. They see me

suffering daily. It breaks my

> heart to see their looks some times. Also, I am so obsessed with

Achalasia. It has started

> to dictate not only my physical life but also my social, emotional

and psychological life. I

> have been able to lead a fairly full life despite the problems.

But this " keeping my head up

> attitude " can be so draining when it is a constant thing. And the

thinner I get and the more

> worried I get, the harder it is to gather the strength to be able

to do this. My family need

> me to be well, or at least better. So the operation is for all of

us.

>

> I read a lovely little paragraph in the Guardian Weekly recently,

which is spot on for me at

> the moment and sums up why I want to have the operation.

>

> " The role of medicine is to restore us to a normal Tuesday, free

from pain, nausea, itch or

> intrusive impairments. What we then do with a normal Tuesday is up

to us. " ( Tallis

> in " Hippocratic Oaths " )

>

> I want a normal Tuesday. And I want to be able to choose to live

it deeply and widely.

>

> I am really scared of the operation. The fear that my problems

will remain. Or return in a

> few years. These are my innermost (irrational?) fears.

>

> But I really do not see an alternative. Perhaps in 20 years there

will be a better treatment

> but for now the operation is, I think, the best we have. Because

we have Achalasia, we will

> never be normal " , but who is?!!! I just want a better time with my

family...

>

> About two weeks after having the Botox way back in October, I went

out on to the sports

> track with my kids. It was a windy, glorious, snappy autumn day.

For the first time in

> months I'd been able to eat relatively normally. I was still

incredibly weak and skinny, but

> felt so much better. I will never forget breathing in that air,

running, jumping, feeling my

> body working, and thinking " I'm alive! "

>

> THAT was a normal Tuesday.

>

> Greetings across the miles!

>

> Scared Anita in Germany

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Anita,

Good for you!!! I know it takes a lot of courage to take this decision. I know you were hoping Dr Micci was able to do something for us Achalasians on a short notice, but this may still take some time. Where will you be having the operation? At least you don't have to wait too long, 15 February is "only" three weeks away. I will be going in for treatment with Dr Schulz in Castrop Rauxel on 26 February and will be glad when it is all over. The latest postings about the manometry test reminded me why I postponed treatment for a year, but, like you, I am running out of options. Recognise the trembling hands and shaking voice.... I am sure all will be fine..... Thinking of you!

Very best wishes from (also scared) Astrid in Holland

"The role of medicine is to restore us to a normal Tuesday" : myotomy booked

G'day! On the weekend my husband and I decided I should have the operation as soon as possible. So this morning I picked up the phone, and with trembling hands and shaking voice, made the appointment for the 15 February. Rang my family in Australia to let them know. It's hard for them, I think, to be so far away and to know that I am suffering. I think our children are glad about the operation. They see me suffering daily. It breaks my heart to see their looks some times. Also, I am so obsessed with Achalasia. It has started to dictate not only my physical life but also my social, emotional and psychological life. I have been able to lead a fairly full life despite the problems. But this "keeping my head up attitude" can be so draining when it is a constant thing. And the thinner I get and the more worried I get, the harder it is to gather the strength to be able to do this. My family need me to be well, or at least better. So the operation is for all of us. I read a lovely little paragraph in the Guardian Weekly recently, which is spot on for me at the moment and sums up why I want to have the operation."The role of medicine is to restore us to a normal Tuesday, free from pain, nausea, itch or intrusive impairments. What we then do with a normal Tuesday is up to us." ( Tallis in "Hippocratic Oaths")I want a normal Tuesday. And I want to be able to choose to live it deeply and widely.I am really scared of the operation. The fear that my problems will remain. Or return in a few years. These are my innermost (irrational?) fears. But I really do not see an alternative. Perhaps in 20 years there will be a better treatment but for now the operation is, I think, the best we have. Because we have Achalasia, we will never be normal", but who is?!!! I just want a better time with my family...About two weeks after having the Botox way back in October, I went out on to the sports track with my kids. It was a windy, glorious, snappy autumn day. For the first time in months I'd been able to eat relatively normally. I was still incredibly weak and skinny, but felt so much better. I will never forget breathing in that air, running, jumping, feeling my body working, and thinking "I'm alive!" THAT was a normal Tuesday.Greetings across the miles!Scared Anita in Germany

[Guest guest]

Anita wrote:

> I want a normal Tuesday. And I want to be able to choose to live it deeply and

widely.

>

I look forward to hearing about your normal Tuesdays after you recover.

If I had it all to do over again, I would definitely have the surgery

again. My eating and sleeping is normal. I hope your's is as good.

notan

[Guest guest]

Good for you making the decision Anita. I've made the same one and am just

waiting for a date for my surgery. I feel the same, very anxious about the

whole thing and if there will be an improvement afterwards. I'm hoping my

op will be during February, but you just never know do you. I'm managing to

eat soup and drink Fortisips but thats about it at the moment. I'm having

acupuncture and hypnotherapy to help with relaxation.

Keep us all posted on how things go - it would be really nice to hear how

your op goes.

Take Care

Jo (england)

>From: " battaglinianita " <battaglinianita@...>

>Reply-achalasia

>achalasia

>Subject: " The role of medicine is to restore us to a normal

>Tuesday " : myotomy booked

>Date: Mon, 22 Jan 2007 20:51:20 -0000

>

>G'day! On the weekend my husband and I decided I should have the operation

>as soon as

>possible. So this morning I picked up the phone, and with trembling hands

>and shaking

>voice, made the appointment for the 15 February. Rang my family in

>Australia to let them

>know. It's hard for them, I think, to be so far away and to know that I am

>suffering.

>

>I think our children are glad about the operation. They see me suffering

>daily. It breaks my

>heart to see their looks some times. Also, I am so obsessed with Achalasia.

>It has started

>to dictate not only my physical life but also my social, emotional and

>psychological life. I

>have been able to lead a fairly full life despite the problems. But this

> " keeping my head up

>attitude " can be so draining when it is a constant thing. And the thinner I

>get and the more

>worried I get, the harder it is to gather the strength to be able to do

>this. My family need

>me to be well, or at least better. So the operation is for all of us.

>

>I read a lovely little paragraph in the Guardian Weekly recently, which is

>spot on for me at

>the moment and sums up why I want to have the operation.

>

> " The role of medicine is to restore us to a normal Tuesday, free from pain,

>nausea, itch or

>intrusive impairments. What we then do with a normal Tuesday is up to us. "

>( Tallis

>in " Hippocratic Oaths " )

>

>I want a normal Tuesday. And I want to be able to choose to live it deeply

>and widely.

>

>I am really scared of the operation. The fear that my problems will remain.

>Or return in a

>few years. These are my innermost (irrational?) fears.

>

>But I really do not see an alternative. Perhaps in 20 years there will be a

>better treatment

>but for now the operation is, I think, the best we have. Because we have

>Achalasia, we will

>never be normal " , but who is?!!! I just want a better time with my

>family...

>

>About two weeks after having the Botox way back in October, I went out on

>to the sports

>track with my kids. It was a windy, glorious, snappy autumn day. For the

>first time in

>months I'd been able to eat relatively normally. I was still incredibly

>weak and skinny, but

>felt so much better. I will never forget breathing in that air, running,

>jumping, feeling my

>body working, and thinking " I'm alive! "

>

>THAT was a normal Tuesday.

>

>Greetings across the miles!

>

>Scared Anita in Germany

>

_________________________________________________________________

MSN Hotmail is evolving – check out the new Windows Live Mail

http://ideas.live.com

[Guest guest]

Dear Joanne and Anita, I have tried to look back 8 months to remember how I felt at that time, heading for the surgery. First of all, the general feeling of trepidation is normal, but does not have to overwhelm you. If you accept that this reaction is normal and universal and do not let it be the over-riding feeling in your mind, you can then focus on being positive. I think that what got me through this time was thinking about how I was doing this to help myself back to health and also feeling grateful that this operation was available to me. I thought things like: "There must be people in the world who live in remote areas where there is no resemblance of sophisticated medical help. They must have to

just live with it, and some (with acute symptoms) even maybe die of it." We don't have to experience these feelings of utter helplessness. Another thing that I thought was that I did not HAVE to have this surgery. Basically it was my choice. Would I like to change my mind and turn it down? The answer to that was "No way". One thing I would recommend is what Jo mentioned. Do not be afraid to ask the most strange questions, even if they sound totally stupid. I asked some really stupid questions, but I needed the answers and I got them without exception, from the wonderful, giving people here. I had never had

surgery before and I was worried, for instance, that when I was lying flat on the operating table, I would aspirate and choke. It was explained to me (by a Group member) that a tube was inserted (after you are asleep) which prevents that possibility. Jo was right when she said that you might have to choose one of the females to ask the more embarrassing quesions. (Am i allowed to keep my knickers on?) LOL. My chosen person was Giselle. Poor girl, the things I asked her! But my goodness, didn't she help ! I know that you, Joanne, are close to Pippa now and that she will help you out. She has a great sense of humour and there is nothing you can't ask, I am sure. And, as a last point - "We will never be

normal". Well do you know, I, like Notan, actually do feel normal. And all being well, so will you. It's all a means to an end. Best of Luck from Ann XXX (England)Joanne Field <jefield@...> wrote: Good for you making the decision Anita. I've made the same one and am just waiting for a date for my surgery. I feel the same, very anxious about the whole thing and if there will be an improvement afterwards. I'm hoping my op will be during February, but you just never know do you. I'm managing to eat soup and drink Fortisips but thats about it at the moment. I'm having acupuncture and hypnotherapy to help with relaxation.Keep us all posted

on how things go - it would be really nice to hear how your op goes.Take CareJo (england)>From: "battaglinianita" >Reply-achalasia >achalasia >Subject: "The role of medicine is to restore us to a normal >Tuesday" : myotomy booked>Date: Mon, 22 Jan 2007 20:51:20 -0000>>G'day! On the weekend my husband and I decided I should have the operation >as soon as>possible. So this morning I picked up the phone, and with trembling hands >and shaking>voice, made the appointment for the 15 February. Rang my family in >Australia to let them>know. It's hard for them, I think, to be so far away and to know that I am >suffering.>>I think our children are glad about the operation. They see me suffering >daily. It breaks my>heart to see their looks some

times. Also, I am so obsessed with Achalasia. >It has started>to dictate not only my physical life but also my social, emotional and >psychological life. I>have been able to lead a fairly full life despite the problems. But this >"keeping my head up>attitude" can be so draining when it is a constant thing. And the thinner I >get and the more>worried I get, the harder it is to gather the strength to be able to do >this. My family need>me to be well, or at least better. So the operation is for all of us.>>I read a lovely little paragraph in the Guardian Weekly recently, which is >spot on for me at>the moment and sums up why I want to have the operation.>>"The role of medicine is to restore us to a normal Tuesday, free from pain, >nausea, itch or>intrusive impairments. What we then do with a normal Tuesday is up to us." >(

Tallis>in "Hippocratic Oaths")>>I want a normal Tuesday. And I want to be able to choose to live it deeply >and widely.>>I am really scared of the operation. The fear that my problems will remain. >Or return in a>few years. These are my innermost (irrational?) fears.>>But I really do not see an alternative. Perhaps in 20 years there will be a >better treatment>but for now the operation is, I think, the best we have. Because we have >Achalasia, we will>never be normal", but who is?!!! I just want a better time with my >family...>>About two weeks after having the Botox way back in October, I went out on >to the sports>track with my kids. It was a windy, glorious, snappy autumn day. For the >first time in>months I'd been able to eat relatively normally. I was still incredibly >weak and skinny, but>felt so much better.

I will never forget breathing in that air, running, >jumping, feeling my>body working, and thinking "I'm alive!">>THAT was a normal Tuesday.>>Greetings across the miles!>>Scared Anita in Germany>_________________________________________________________________MSN Hotmail is evolving – check out the new Windows Live Mail http://ideas.live.com

[Guest guest]

Dear Anita, I know how you feel - i too have to make a decision about having an oesophagectomy. I had a myotomy in 1995 and i was so sick at the time i couldn't wait to have it. You will recover from this and will be normal - hopefully forever. You will be able to play with your kids and feel the sun on your face and do the normal things non achalasians take for granted- like walking into a restaurant without sussing out where the toilets are in case you get food stuck or even just going to a restaurant for a meal!!! It will be lovely to have a normal Tuesday- just deciding what to do with your life rather than letting eight inches of ineffective muscle control it. Good luck with the op. - we look forward to hearing of your recovery and renewed vigour. Deb in Melbourne, Australia. battaglinianita <battaglinianita@...>

wrote: G'day! On the weekend my husband and I decided I should have the operation as soon as possible. So this morning I picked up the phone, and with trembling hands and shaking voice, made the appointment for the 15 February. Rang my family in Australia to let them know. It's hard for them, I think, to be so far away and to know that I am suffering. I think our children are glad about the operation. They see me suffering daily. It breaks my heart to see their looks some times. Also, I am so obsessed with Achalasia. It has

started to dictate not only my physical life but also my social, emotional and psychological life. I have been able to lead a fairly full life despite the problems. But this "keeping my head up attitude" can be so draining when it is a constant thing. And the thinner I get and the more worried I get, the harder it is to gather the strength to be able to do this. My family need me to be well, or at least better. So the operation is for all of us. I read a lovely little paragraph in the Guardian Weekly recently, which is spot on for me at the moment and sums up why I want to have the operation."The role of medicine is to restore us to a normal Tuesday, free from pain, nausea, itch or intrusive impairments. What we then do with a normal Tuesday is up to us." ( Tallis in "Hippocratic Oaths")I want a normal Tuesday. And I want to be able to choose to live it deeply and widely.I am really scared of the

operation. The fear that my problems will remain. Or return in a few years. These are my innermost (irrational?) fears. But I really do not see an alternative. Perhaps in 20 years there will be a better treatment but for now the operation is, I think, the best we have. Because we have Achalasia, we will never be normal", but who is?!!! I just want a better time with my family...About two weeks after having the Botox way back in October, I went out on to the sports track with my kids. It was a windy, glorious, snappy autumn day. For the first time in months I'd been able to eat relatively normally. I was still incredibly weak and skinny, but felt so much better. I will never forget breathing in that air, running, jumping, feeling my body working, and thinking "I'm alive!" THAT was a normal Tuesday.Greetings across the miles!Scared Anita in

Germany Send instant messages to your online friends http://au.messenger.

[Guest guest]

Ann

Thank you so much for the reassurance. Putting things into context makes it

easier to get your head round doesn't it, like you said, we're lucky to have

the opportunity to have the operation and to improve our health and

lifestyles.

Pippa is being a great help and so supportive, people on this board are

amazing, their storise are so brave and its really good to hear so many

points of view.

Thanks!

Jo

>From: Ann Higgs <lilac_blossom_lady@...>

>Reply-achalasia

>achalasia

>Subject: RE: " The role of medicine is to restore us to a normal

>Tuesday " : myotomy booked

>Date: Tue, 23 Jan 2007 12:24:04 +0000 (GMT)

>

>Dear Joanne and Anita,

>

> I have tried to look back 8 months to remember how I felt at that time,

>heading for the surgery. First of all, the general feeling of trepidation

>is normal, but does not have to overwhelm you. If you accept that this

>reaction is normal and universal and do not let it be the over-riding

>feeling in your mind, you can then focus on being positive.

>

> I think that what got me through this time was thinking about how I was

>doing this to help myself back to health and also feeling grateful that

>this operation was available to me. I thought things like: " There must be

>people in the world who live in remote areas where there is no resemblance

>of sophisticated medical help. They must have to just live with it, and

>some (with acute symptoms) even maybe die of it. " We don't have to

>experience these feelings of utter helplessness.

>

> Another thing that I thought was that I did not HAVE to have this

>surgery. Basically it was my choice. Would I like to change my mind and

>turn it down? The answer to that was " No way " .

>

> One thing I would recommend is what Jo mentioned. Do not be

>afraid to ask the most strange questions, even if they sound totally

>stupid. I asked some really stupid questions, but I needed the answers and

>I got them without exception, from the wonderful, giving people here.

>

> I had never had surgery before and I was worried, for instance, that

>when I was lying flat on the operating table, I would aspirate and choke.

>It was explained to me (by a Group member) that a tube was inserted (after

>you are asleep) which prevents that possibility.

>

> Jo was right when she said that you might have to choose one of

>the females to ask the more embarrassing quesions. (Am i allowed to keep

>my knickers on?) LOL. My chosen person was Giselle. Poor girl, the things

>I asked her! But my goodness, didn't she help ! I know that you, Joanne,

>are close to Pippa now and that she will help you out. She has a great

>sense of humour and there is nothing you can't ask, I am sure.

>

> And, as a last point - " We will never be normal " . Well do you know, I,

>like Notan, actually do feel normal. And all being well, so will you.

>

> It's all a means to an end.

> Best of Luck from Ann XXX (England)

>

>Joanne Field <jefield@...> wrote:

> Good for you making the decision Anita. I've made the same one and am

>just

>waiting for a date for my surgery. I feel the same, very anxious about the

>whole thing and if there will be an improvement afterwards. I'm hoping my

>op will be during February, but you just never know do you. I'm managing to

>eat soup and drink Fortisips but thats about it at the moment. I'm having

>acupuncture and hypnotherapy to help with relaxation.

>

>Keep us all posted on how things go - it would be really nice to hear how

>your op goes.

>

>Take Care

>

>Jo (england)

>

>

> >From: " battaglinianita "

> >Reply-achalasia

> >achalasia

> >Subject: " The role of medicine is to restore us to a normal

> >Tuesday " : myotomy booked

> >Date: Mon, 22 Jan 2007 20:51:20 -0000

> >

> >G'day! On the weekend my husband and I decided I should have the

>operation

> >as soon as

> >possible. So this morning I picked up the phone, and with trembling hands

> >and shaking

> >voice, made the appointment for the 15 February. Rang my family in

> >Australia to let them

> >know. It's hard for them, I think, to be so far away and to know that I

>am

> >suffering.

> >

> >I think our children are glad about the operation. They see me suffering

> >daily. It breaks my

> >heart to see their looks some times. Also, I am so obsessed with

>Achalasia.

> >It has started

> >to dictate not only my physical life but also my social, emotional and

> >psychological life. I

> >have been able to lead a fairly full life despite the problems. But this

> > " keeping my head up

> >attitude " can be so draining when it is a constant thing. And the thinner

>I

> >get and the more

> >worried I get, the harder it is to gather the strength to be able to do

> >this. My family need

> >me to be well, or at least better. So the operation is for all of us.

> >

> >I read a lovely little paragraph in the Guardian Weekly recently, which

>is

> >spot on for me at

> >the moment and sums up why I want to have the operation.

> >

> > " The role of medicine is to restore us to a normal Tuesday, free from

>pain,

> >nausea, itch or

> >intrusive impairments. What we then do with a normal Tuesday is up to

>us. "

> >( Tallis

> >in " Hippocratic Oaths " )

> >

> >I want a normal Tuesday. And I want to be able to choose to live it

>deeply

> >and widely.

> >

> >I am really scared of the operation. The fear that my problems will

>remain.

> >Or return in a

> >few years. These are my innermost (irrational?) fears.

> >

> >But I really do not see an alternative. Perhaps in 20 years there will be

>a

> >better treatment

> >but for now the operation is, I think, the best we have. Because we have

> >Achalasia, we will

> >never be normal " , but who is?!!! I just want a better time with my

> >family...

> >

> >About two weeks after having the Botox way back in October, I went out on

> >to the sports

> >track with my kids. It was a windy, glorious, snappy autumn day. For the

> >first time in

> >months I'd been able to eat relatively normally. I was still incredibly

> >weak and skinny, but

> >felt so much better. I will never forget breathing in that air, running,

> >jumping, feeling my

> >body working, and thinking " I'm alive! "

> >

> >THAT was a normal Tuesday.

> >

> >Greetings across the miles!

> >

> >Scared Anita in Germany

> >

>

>_________________________________________________________________

>MSN Hotmail is evolving – check out the new Windows Live Mail

>http://ideas.live.com

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

D'yer know Joanne and Anita, This time last year I was sitting at the same side of the fence that you are. I was the one in need of advice and support. Now I am able to give back. This is where you too will soon be sitting. It is just a matter of time. I still can't work out who gets the most out of this side of the fence: those who we help out, or ourselves, by having the chance to do this giving back. And I have watched others do the same, in particular Pippa who has become very dear to me. It's almost like a "coming of age" thing. Love and Best Wishes from Ann. MWFA (Member of the Worldwide Fellowship of Achalasians) LOL XXXJoanne Field <jefield@...> wrote: AnnThank you so much for the reassurance. Putting things into context makes it easier to get your head round doesn't it, like you said, we're lucky to have the opportunity to have the operation and to improve our health and lifestyles.Pippa is being a great help and so supportive, people on this board are amazing, their storise are so brave and its really good to hear so many points of view.Thanks!Jo>From: Ann Higgs >Reply-achalasia >achalasia >Subject: RE:

"The role of medicine is to restore us to a normal >Tuesday" : myotomy booked>Date: Tue, 23 Jan 2007 12:24:04 +0000 (GMT)>>Dear Joanne and Anita,>> I have tried to look back 8 months to remember how I felt at that time, >heading for the surgery. First of all, the general feeling of trepidation >is normal, but does not have to overwhelm you. If you accept that this >reaction is normal and universal and do not let it be the over-riding >feeling in your mind, you can then focus on being positive.>> I think that what got me through this time was thinking about how I was >doing this to help myself back to health and also feeling grateful that >this operation was available to me. I thought things like: "There must be >people in the world who live in remote areas where there is no resemblance >of sophisticated medical help. They must have to just live with

it, and >some (with acute symptoms) even maybe die of it." We don't have to >experience these feelings of utter helplessness.>> Another thing that I thought was that I did not HAVE to have this >surgery. Basically it was my choice. Would I like to change my mind and >turn it down? The answer to that was "No way".>> One thing I would recommend is what Jo mentioned. Do not be >afraid to ask the most strange questions, even if they sound totally >stupid. I asked some really stupid questions, but I needed the answers and >I got them without exception, from the wonderful, giving people here.>> I had never had surgery before and I was worried, for instance, that >when I was lying flat on the operating table, I would aspirate and choke. >It was explained to me (by a Group member) that a tube was inserted (after >you are asleep) which prevents that

possibility.>> Jo was right when she said that you might have to choose one of >the females to ask the more embarrassing quesions. (Am i allowed to keep >my knickers on?) LOL. My chosen person was Giselle. Poor girl, the things >I asked her! But my goodness, didn't she help ! I know that you, Joanne, >are close to Pippa now and that she will help you out. She has a great >sense of humour and there is nothing you can't ask, I am sure.>> And, as a last point - "We will never be normal". Well do you know, I, >like Notan, actually do feel normal. And all being well, so will you.>> It's all a means to an end.> Best of Luck from Ann XXX (England)>>Joanne Field wrote:> Good for you making the decision Anita. I've made the same one and am >just>waiting for a date for my surgery. I feel the same, very anxious about the>whole

thing and if there will be an improvement afterwards. I'm hoping my>op will be during February, but you just never know do you. I'm managing to>eat soup and drink Fortisips but thats about it at the moment. I'm having>acupuncture and hypnotherapy to help with relaxation.>>Keep us all posted on how things go - it would be really nice to hear how>your op goes.>>Take Care>>Jo (england)>>> >From: "battaglinianita"> >Reply-achalasia > >achalasia > >Subject: "The role of medicine is to restore us to a normal> >Tuesday" : myotomy booked> >Date: Mon, 22 Jan 2007 20:51:20 -0000> >> >G'day! On the weekend my husband and I decided I should have the >operation> >as soon as> >possible. So this morning I picked up the phone, and with trembling

hands> >and shaking> >voice, made the appointment for the 15 February. Rang my family in> >Australia to let them> >know. It's hard for them, I think, to be so far away and to know that I >am> >suffering.> >> >I think our children are glad about the operation. They see me suffering> >daily. It breaks my> >heart to see their looks some times. Also, I am so obsessed with >Achalasia.> >It has started> >to dictate not only my physical life but also my social, emotional and> >psychological life. I> >have been able to lead a fairly full life despite the problems. But this> >"keeping my head up> >attitude" can be so draining when it is a constant thing. And the thinner >I> >get and the more> >worried I get, the harder it is to gather the strength to be able to do> >this. My family

need> >me to be well, or at least better. So the operation is for all of us.> >> >I read a lovely little paragraph in the Guardian Weekly recently, which >is> >spot on for me at> >the moment and sums up why I want to have the operation.> >> >"The role of medicine is to restore us to a normal Tuesday, free from >pain,> >nausea, itch or> >intrusive impairments. What we then do with a normal Tuesday is up to >us."> >( Tallis> >in "Hippocratic Oaths")> >> >I want a normal Tuesday. And I want to be able to choose to live it >deeply> >and widely.> >> >I am really scared of the operation. The fear that my problems will >remain.> >Or return in a> >few years. These are my innermost (irrational?) fears.> >> >But I really do not see an

alternative. Perhaps in 20 years there will be >a> >better treatment> >but for now the operation is, I think, the best we have. Because we have> >Achalasia, we will> >never be normal", but who is?!!! I just want a better time with my> >family...> >> >About two weeks after having the Botox way back in October, I went out on> >to the sports> >track with my kids. It was a windy, glorious, snappy autumn day. For the> >first time in> >months I'd been able to eat relatively normally. I was still incredibly> >weak and skinny, but> >felt so much better. I will never forget breathing in that air, running,> >jumping, feeling my> >body working, and thinking "I'm alive!"> >> >THAT was a normal Tuesday.> >> >Greetings across the miles!> >> >Scared Anita in Germany>

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