Re:preschool.

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I was wondering if anyone can give me a little advise with my 3 year old son.

He is starting in the speech program in preschool tomorrow. he will be going

4 hour 2 days a week. They tell me I can drop him off at the front office and

the teacher will walk with him to the classroom. I tell them that he wants me

to walk him to the classroom, they don't think that is a good idea. They tell

me he will cry for a couple of days then the kids usually stop. I am really

nervous about putting him in this. These teachers don't make it any easier.

Can anyone give me any advise when they started there child in preschool. I

really hate to walk away with my child crying. Plus I don't know if should

leave him the first day the full 4 hours. I think that might be to long for

him the first day.

Any advise would really be appreciated.

Jeanne

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Thank you for the email. It really helps me out hearing from other parents

who were in the same situation. They also ask me if would like to

take the school bus and I told them I would prefer to drive him. Can you tell

me if speech has improved in being in the preschool. Because I hear so

much about how children with apraxia should be in one on one therapy.

Thanks again for the support

Jeanne

[Guest guest]

Hi Joann and

Joann, he is going to preschool in Florida. The teacher did call me back

later today and was very understanding. She has no problem with me taking

back to his classroom and showing him around. That does make me feel

better. Like did say I had a bad experience when he was in private

therapy and the ST did not want me in the room and my son was not very happy.

so I know this will be hard on him.

, thank you for all those wonderful tips and I will let everyone knows

how it goes tomorrow.

Thanks for the support from everyone, I really do feel better hearing from

everyone in this group.

[Guest guest]

Hi Jeanne,

My son, , and I went thru this last year. I dreaded that first day of

school! Our district offers bussing for the special ed kids, but I prefered

to take him there myself. Once I got him there, the teachers had no problem

with me coming into the classroom with him for the first few minutes to walk

him around and point out toys and things. In fact, I drove him to and from

school every time and anytime I wanted to go into the classroom, I was

allowed. Yes, took about 2 weeks to stop crying. I also didn't want

to leave him there the whole 3 hours - I thought this would be too much for

him, but I was very surprised - he made it! There were times that he took a

little cat-nap during class, but it was no big deal. Leaving them staring

after you crying is the hardest thing I ever had to do. I cried all the way

home, but they do survive it and he learned to like school. That first day,

I was prepared to wait outside the classroom the whole time, just to make

sure he would be okay. But knew I was out there and refused to settle

down, so the teacher very nicely told me that I should just go home -

would be alright. If it made me feel any better, they said for me to call

them as soon as I got home and they would tell me how he was. He was fine

(hope they were telling me the truth!). Anyway, there was no getting around

it - it was HARD. But I wanted to let you know that the teachers were fine

with me coming into the room to drop him off. I didn't do it every day,

tho. Hope your little guy will be fine!

~~

in PA

----- Original Message -----

> Hi,

>

> I was wondering if anyone can give me a little advise with my 3 year old

son.

> He is starting in the speech program in preschool tomorrow. he will be

going

> 4 hour 2 days a week. They tell me I can drop him off at the front office

and

> the teacher will walk with him to the classroom. I tell them that he wants

me

> to walk him to the classroom, they don't think that is a good idea. They

tell

> me he will cry for a couple of days then the kids usually stop. I am

really

> nervous about putting him in this. These teachers don't make it any

easier.

> Can anyone give me any advise when they started there child in preschool.

I

> really hate to walk away with my child crying. Plus I don't know if should

> leave him the first day the full 4 hours. I think that might be to long

for

> him the first day.

>

> Any advise would really be appreciated.

>

> Jeanne

[Guest guest]

hi Jeanne, my son will be starting school this year

also...can i ask you where your son is going to

school?...i live in NJ...i don't have any advice

except to maybe meet with the teachers and/or director

of the school before your son starts and explain your

concerns...i'm sure once they know what you need they

would accomodate you...hope this bit helps...i learn

as i go along and i'm sure i will be in your position

soon...good luck...JoAnn

[Guest guest]

Hi Jeanne!

I remember when we first spoke it was about your son crying during

therapy, and now here is stress about preschool. Hopefully, once awareness is

raised with the support group that may be forming in Florida, things should get

a bit easier.

It's hard to watch your apraxic son go off to preschool. It's very normal for

any child to go through separation anxiety for the first days of preschool.

It's just that when you put on top of that a child that is nonverbal, or just

learning to talk, it makes it even harder. Especially if your child has become

dependant on you to know his needs.

This is why a communication book is important where you can write

down all the translations of what your child's " words " or actions

mean. This is a book that your child carries back and forth from

home to school where everyone, you, the teacher, the speech or

occupational therapist write in it everyday. This way, for example,

it's easy for the teacher to talk to your child about Grandma's new

house, and it's easy for you to know why your child has a stamp of a

puppy on his hand!

Also, about back to school, It's not up on the website yet, but the

CHERAB Homebase September 10, 2001 speaker will be Stacey and Ted

from Sussen and Greenwald http://www.special-ed-law.com who will talk

about IEPs for the child with a communication challenge, and

transitions to preschool, or to regular school. Check out their

website though, lots of info there and they are awesome. For meeting

information, please check http://www.apraxia.cc under meetings (it

will be up there soon-and so will the new site!!)

Here are a few helpful links on the topic:

http://preschoolerstoday.com/experts/answers/19.htm

by and Harriet Worobey Developmental Psychologist and Early

Childhood Educator Rutgers University

Question:

How do I ease separation anxiety in my child when I drop him off at

preschool?

Answer:

I have found that when a child knows exactly what to expect, it helps

his sense of security. Talking with your child about what exactly

will happen in school and in what order will greatly decrease the

pain of his separation. Do NOT sneak out; do NOT say, " I will be

right back. " Such techniques lessen the child's trust in you. Let

your child know that preschool is a special place for children and

teachers: they will play with toys (you can mention a few), have

circle time, use the bathroom, have a snack, go outside on the

playground, etc., and then Mommy (or Daddy or sitter) will come back.

Emphasize that Mommy ALWAYS comes back.

If you have ever been frightened or had feelings like your child

does, it is a good idea to let him know that you cried when you first

went to school, too. Don't ever make light of a child's feelings --

they are very real to him or her. Acknowledge that she feels sad,

scared, angry, and that it's OK to feel that way. It is also a good

idea to let the classroom teacher know what your child is feeling or

saying at home. Also, any hints you may have for the teacher, such as

special things that work for your child (a blanket, teddy, special

game) might make the transition easier. For some children, we have

found that the separation is easier when the parent comes into the

classroom for a few minutes. For others, that would be a disaster,

and it's best to make the break at the classroom door.

Children are individuals, and teachers and preschool programs need to

be flexible to these individual differences. By parent and teacher

being sensitive to the individual needs and feelings of your child,

the tears that may accompany the first few days of preschool

shouldn't last too long.

Here are more links-this first one is like a course!

Planning Your Child's Transition to Preschool:

A Step-by-Step Guide for Families by Lynette K. Chandler, A.

Fowler, Hadden, and Stahurski A publication of FACTS/LRE,

University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign

http://facts.crc.uiuc.edu/facts4/facts4.html

From Northern County Psychiatric Associates

Separation Anxiety in Young Children Carol E. Watkins, MD

http://www.baltimorepsych.com/separation_anxiety.htm

Separation anxiety -Approved by the BabyCenter Advisory Board (over

15 medical doctors from all over the US)

http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/145.html

And from the archives

According to a newsletter published by the National Association for

the Education of Young Children (NAEYC), early childhood educators

suggest staying in the new situation with your child the first few

days, for decreasing amounts of time, until he is comfortable with

his new environment. Your child will feel more comfortable with you

there for part of the time, especially if he exhibits stranger

anxiety, has little experience in being cared for by others, or has

had a previous traumatic separation experience. "

According to , PhD., author of The School Book (St.

's Press, Inc., 1991), the most important part of preparing

your child for the daycare transition is building her self

confidence. Some suggestions for this are:

1. Get your child used to staying with a babysitter of grandparent

for a few hours each day. This will help your child realize that when

you go way, you will always return.

2. Take her to visit the preschool of childcare facility you are

considering. This will give her the opportunity to familiarize

herself with the new surroundings and her caregivers.

3. Assure your child that he can take any transitional object he

wishes. Having a special blanket or toy will give your child an

extra sense of security.

4. Arrange a playdate with another child who is going to attend the

school or childcare facility at the same time as your child. A

familiar face may help put your child at ease on the first day. (you

may find someone with a same age " late talker or apraxic child at

your local CHERAB support group that you maybe just started -contact

CHERAB's Outreach Coordinator if you are looking for local

support at nicole@... )

5. Be sure your child arrives on time so she'll feel like she's part

of the group, and always pick her up on time so she won't be left

alone at the end of the day.

6. If your child tends to cry at your departure, never leave without

saying goodbye when it is time for you to go-no matter how tempting

it may be to slip out unnoticed. If you do, you will violate your

child's trust, and you will also confuse him as to your whereabouts.

Be sure to tell you child when you will be back, and stick to that

schedule.

Let us know how it goes, and good luck!

[Guest guest]

Do what you think is best? I usually stick around for the first day

or 2 with my girls. They are a lot clingier than my son, and if I

stay with them then it makes it easier. I also may stay until my

girls are involved in an activity that they like and say goodbye then.

Good luck!

Suzi

[Guest guest]

Jeanne,

I just went through the first day of school and my son shocked me.

Putting him on the bus was something I would like to forget. When he

returned home the first day he ran off the bus and was all smiles.

The second day, I was really anxious because I figured now he knew

the drill and would be upset. He ran on the bus with barely a bye,

and my 17 month old was crying as he took off!! Now he gets excited

at buses and points and tries to say school whenever he passes it.

Hang in there, he will love it. Observe the classroom if you can

without him seeing you. I did and was thrilled at his attention and

desire to participate. His teacher seems to be great and communicates

daily with a notebook.

Try the 4 hours. Ask the teacher to let you know if it seems to be

too much for him.

Good luck and hang in there. I hope your son shocks you like mine did

me!!

I am in central jersey, feel free to contact me if you just need

someone to talk to. We are all in this together!