Vent!!! Warning long post

[Guest guest]

Hi all,

I just had to post to vent about doctors, this stupid disease, and

how frustrated I am right now.

I'm going on vacation over Christmas and since I do so badly with

this condition while away from home, I thought maybe it would be time

to try a second balloon dilation. So I had a doctor's appointment to

discuss this last week Friday.

My last appointment with this doctor was for a balloon dilation about

15 months ago. He never asked me to follow up or anything, so I

haven't seen him since that time, even though the procedure was

ineffective.

So I go to see him and first of all I sit in the waiting room for

over 40 minutes past my appointment time (not unheard of but

frustrating). I then sit in the exam room before being seen for over

20 minutes, meaning that when the doctor actually showed up it was

more than 1 hour past my appointment time. Again not unheard of but

I'm dodgy about seeing doctors anyway, I'm stressed about this

problem, plus I'm frustrated with this doctor and I'm getting so I

hate this particular hospital/clinic/health organization.

When the nurse takes my blood pressure its way high - like I think

189/98 (I can't remember the first number for sure but it was really

high). The nurse just asked me if I had been racing there for the

appointment or had a lot of traffic or something (not likely with

having sat in the waiting room for almost an hour). Other than that,

nothing else was mentioned about that - no recommendation to see my

primary care doc about it or anything.

So the doctor finally shows up (for once without an enterage of

residents or medical students, which granted was rather nice - darn

teaching hospitals).

I tell the doctor that the first dilation did not work and I'm having

a lot of trouble with the achalasia and would probably like to try a

second.

The doctor looks at my chart and tells me that I've only lost 5

pounds since my last visit and basically its not like I'm dying or

anything. (Sounded to me like he was intimating that I'm wasting his

time).

Then he goes on to say that if the first dilation does not work then

additional ones will almost certainly not work.

He was very dismissive of my symptoms (didn't want to hear about

them) and changes in symptoms because I haven't lost a lot of weight,

I'm not dehydrated, and I haven't had pneumonia since March 2000 -

basically I'm not on the verge of death. I felt like asking him if

he only treated people who were actually " bleeding out " and if so why

he wasn't working in the ER instead of in the GI clinic.

I told him that I had met several people through this group who had

first dilations that hadn't been effective and additional attempts

had helped (not necessarily permanently). He grudgingly agreed to do

another dilation procedure (although he recommended the surgery or

even the botox over the dilation).

I asked him if I was causing any injury by going on like I am and not

having treatment and forcing food down with vast quantities of water

and he said no (like I was stupid to think so) but then I asked him

about further dilation of the esophagus caused by this and causing

more problems down the line. He then said that it could be a problem

but there wasn't any notes in my chart that my esophagus was too

badly dilated currently. (How would he know if it gets worse though

if I never had any follow ups or procedures?)

I told him my symptoms are pretty bad - I'm basically in a lot of

discomfort any time I eat or drink, it is very socially embarrassing,

I'm waking up in the night coughing and vomiting nearly every night

so I feel tired all the time from not getting good sleep. But

apparently that's all OK and not something that's worthy of caring

about, noting on the chart, or treating.

It doesn't sound as bad when I'm writing it, but I felt the way he

treated me was terrible - so dismissive and made me feel like I was

bothering him and wasting his time and that I'm not worthy of getting

treatment for this achalasia. Plus the fact that he constantly gives

conflicting information. I couldn't go back to work that day - too

upset - went home and cried for ages all weekend.

Now am in the throes of trying to get the dilation scheduled (of

course they are booked up for ages) and wondering if I should just

forget the whole thing for now.

My mother is now on a kick that I should go to the Mayo Clinic which

is just stressing me out more.

My insurance is changing in January and from that point I'm not

covered for any non-plan doctors so its not like I can just trot off

to Mayo or Chicago or someplace. There are probably other doctors I

can try in both divisions of the covered medical group, but I don't

know how to go about doing it. My primary care physician (who I've

never seen yet because my old PCP retired and the NP I usually see

has moved to another department) is on maternity leave til next year.

I'm maybe just being a baby about all this but right now I could just

scream. I hate everything about the medical profession, doctors,

nurses, hospitals, scheduling clerks, etc. etc.

Sorry for the venting but you're the only people who have some

understanding of this stuff.