Smile: Riding the train

[Guest guest]

This story makes us think and also appreciate all that we learn from our

sons/daughters or individuals we may work with. Exerpted from 101 Ways to Make

Friends monthly newsletter.

Connecting on the Canada Line

December 1, 2011

It's 3:00 o'clock in the afternoon and and I are standing on the platform

of the Canada line stop at Broadway/City hall station. " Where the heck is the

train? " asks even though he knows when it's coming. " Couple of minutes " I

say, just to make conversation. proceeds to test the echo in the tunnel by

whooping loudly. He often does this when he is excited. Meanwhile, I am having a

debate in my head about the usefulness of us riding the Canada Line. How is this

going to benefit I wonder to myself. Are we wasting our time? Should we

be pursuing something more constructive? I am lost in thought as the train rolls

up. makes a bee line for the front car.

I walk myself to the front car and take a seat three rows back from the nose of

the train. goes right to the front window and stands there, even though

there are lots of seats. It's clear to me how much he enjoys being here and it

brings about a little change in my mood. As we roll down the line, calls

out the stops, making sure he says " King Station " before the " pesky "

computerized voice can do so. He does this for every station. At Marine Drive

Station he turns to a couple and asks them if this is their first time riding on

the new train, which it turns out it is. asks them where they are going

and upon hearing their response he tells them which stop they should get off at.

It's easy to see that really likes to help other people out.

I continue to think. I wonder if I should do something. Here I am just sitting

back and watching talk with people on the Canada Line and I am doing

nothing. Worse off, I am getting paid for it. I feel a little guilty. I wonder

to myself if I should give some advice on his social skills, maybe suggest

to him to use appropriate interpersonal distance. In the past I may have gotten

out of my seat and reminded him, but I know that doing so would only create

tension with him. And rightfully so. I know I wouldn't like it if someone

commented to me that I was doing things wrong while I was in the middle of a

conversation. I struggle with the idea that maybe I'm not supposed to do

anything at all. So here I am sitting on the train thinking about how I should

be implementing some program and meanwhile is succeeding in connecting

with members of the public without any help from me.

Now maybe I think too much, but all of this passed through my head as we

travelled the ten minutes from Broadway to Richmond. As I stepped off of the

train into the sunlight at the terminus Richmond Centre Station I couldn't help

but feel pretty good. I often think to myself that I have much to learn from the

people we support and the situations we find ourselves in, and today I learned a

valuable lesson. It may not be about programs and strategies to help people get

better, but about just being with a person in a situation they feel comfortable

and confident. knows the majority of the train and bus routes in the lower

mainland and loves to ride them. He also loves to be helpful. When he is in such

a place, he has no problems connecting with those around him. My job may be as

simple as staying out of his way. I have a smile on my face as we walk from one

end of the platform to the other and board the train, at what will be the new

front. again positions himself at the window, not unlike a streetcar

conductor, and gets ready to do it all again.