Re: Fw: Girls Don't Play Drums - Hands down - Eye contact

[Guest guest]

This was such a perfect example of the aggravating experience of " cross-cat' "

special ed, I had to reply. It's so pervasive and integrated into the program

that most proposed IEP goals are essentially " we're going to cure (some aspect)

of his/her autism " . That's why you get progress reports for years that say

" making progress " but give no specific details.

A few years ago, I may have posted a reference to another clarifying comment on

this subject -- by an autistic person, as I recall. They wondered why anyone

would think it wise to have programming and activities for teen boys, especially

autistic ones, planned and run by mostly middle aged women -- the social views

of the two groups being somewhat different.

>

> Ellen,

> Thank you for running this. We do all we can to rob our people of

> themselves and blame then for reacting When Adam was very small his teachers

would do all they could to get him to give eye contact...pulling his chin so his

face would square off with their

> face....corner him so he could not turn his face any further from their face

so he would HAVE to make eye contact.

> When he was in high school he wanted a student whose locker was next to

his say hi to him. She refused and when he used the same " strategies " that were

used on him the halls of the schools rocked and I was called in for a big table

conference. When I reminded the good teachers this was exactly how he was

taught to give eye contact, it certainly made sence to him that was the way he

would convince his fellow classmates to give him eye contact and say hello.

Not very socially appropriate...by either the teachers or him.

> Just this week a well intentioned adult was demanding to a young adult " give

me your eyes...look at me..give me your eyes " So if I want to ignore someone,

I just ignore...(but) if I have a disability I am coaxed like a two year old and

even though the person with a disability is in the mid 20s and the only way he

can articulate " I want to ignore you " he is denied his matter of communication

by turning away.

> There are a lot of ways society has figured out a way to demean people with

disabilities. In 2011 we often treat young adults like two year olds. GEEZE,

besides all the other stuff we are juggling, SSI, Medicaid, etc. we still have

basic human rights and attitudes to deal with.

>

> Cindi

[Guest guest]

As usual, , your comments are insightful as well as being somewhat

amusing...

I don't think most of us think about WHO is establishing the plans for our

children, in school and even beyond, but you are right, of course...it is

primarily women, whether it is academics, functional daily living skills,

recreational skills, or social skills...

Ellen

Ellen Garber Bronfeld

egskb@...