Re: Re: Being your child's air traffic controller

[Guest guest]

Phil said, " We want our kids to fly, but we know they cannot do it without

help. "

That's true, but I read the author's remarks as saying not only that she wanted

her child to fly, but that her child was already " in the air " ...so once the

parents are gone, no air traffic controller = a big crash.

That is what I'd like our communities to talk about!

-Gail

From: winterspke@... <winterspke@...>

Subject: Re: Being your child's air traffic controller

IPADDUnite

Date: Tuesday, August 9, 2011, 11:36 AM

 

I find this to be a very compelling concept. I've heard it said that the parent

of an average-functioning child starts out like a benevolent dictator when the

child is young and slowly transitions to a consultant when the child becomes an

adult. My wife and I have seen that transition for our oldest daughter, but

that just isn't practical for our middle daughter. She will always need some

sort of air traffic controller in her life, to help her navigate safely. There

are undoubtedly ways that state funding can help provide that function, but

there are many different ways that can happen.

I don't want the government to become her air traffic controller. I do,

however, want the government to help me get some controllers in place. For

example, stronger High School transition services can get all of us better

prepared for life after school. Support for IAMC can help us create Microboards

or local atives that can help our kids become more financially stable and

can give them a focus/goal. I'm sure there are many more examples.

To be honest, I don't know that this changes anything, but I find the imagery

very compelling. We want our kids to fly, but we know they cannot do it without

help. I'm going to focus for a while on finding ways to build up my daughter's

network of air traffic controllers.

- Phil

>

> On another list, I read comments by a parent of a young adult on the autism

spectrum.  The young adult is high functioning enough to go online and make

" friends " who might be unsavory.

>

> But whether you think your kid functions near that level or not, the parent's

closing remarks moved me:

>

> " Our hopes and dreams and fears are the same as every other parent. 

> We want to give them roots and wings; we want them to fly away and > not to

crash.  We know there are hard landings ahead, but if we can, > we keep them

flying.  But that is so hard...who's going to be the > air traffic controller

when I am dead? "

>

>

> This list often mentions political advocacy, and information about pending

state and federal legislation.

>

> Let's wonder, for a minute, if we are barking up the wrong tree when we lobby

about funding.  Those legislators and staffers hear the lobbying message as

" This is about money. "

>

> Everyone talks to legislators and staffers about things that need funding. 

Everything they hear is about money.

>

> Maybe our message should be " My loved one is like an airplane in flight.  I'm

his air traffic controller.  His functioning in society is due to my guidance,

and my collaboration with others.  I will not outlive him.  What happens

then? "

>

> -Gail

>