Guest guest Posted July 21, 2011 Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 Adam has been out of transition for two years now and is pretty much a regular in our downtown. He goes to the bank, they all know him and understand his 'accent. He goes to the barber shop , again, they get him. The most fun thing he and his dad do is go to a neighborhood tavern. It is not a brass/fern place, just a simple well used joint. They started going there when it was determined we did not have the right cable for certain sporting events. Maybe once every four weeks, but often enough the waitresses know Adam does not like certain things on his sandwich. Enough they don't card him. A few weeks ago Art and Adam were at the bar and neighbors of our walked in and they were visibly pleased to meet up with each other. The neighbors are in their late 20s..now they have something else in common and instead of a polite wave across the street they stroll over to chat. It is all about boiling the ocean. They won't become great friends, but the relationship has changed, Adam is seen in a different light. Cindi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 21, 2011 Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 That’s great! In our case, is known at the stores, restaurants & volunteer sites she frequents. Years ago I figured out that if we always stopped at Walgreens after school on Tuesdays, the same nice lady would be manning the cashier’s station & she calls by name, big smiles, very nice woman. likes being ‘known’. So even after school ended, we still have Tuesday afternoons as our Walgreens day, to keep that relationship going. Similar thing at restaurants (they know her order down to how many catsups she wants with her lunch basket at Culvers) and at her volunteer sites the same thing happens. gets this little glow on her face when she hears people saying hello and saying her name. That part’s really nice! What I’d like to see, however, is for us to try moving a smidge past the ‘hi ’ stage and move into sharing a little back and forth at her regular volunteer sites with the paid staff. This one has proven a bit harder. We tried having her take in her iPad to show some pictures on, but she is SO set in her routine of working that she resists stopping to ‘chat’ and show her pictures, let alone talk about them in a pleasant way with the other person. She wants to get right to work and start shredding! No chit chat for her! So I’m not sure how that part of the situation can be improved. Maybe the lesson is to build that part of the interaction in from the very beginning! BUT it is so nice that so many people in the City govt know who she is and that she’s a good worker and that she has a great laugh. Laurie From: Cindi Swanson Sent: Thursday, July 21, 2011 2:29 PM IPADDUnite Subject: Re: Community Question Adam has been out of transition for two years now and is pretty much a regular in our downtown. He goes to the bank, they all know him and understand his 'accent. He goes to the barber shop , again, they get him. The most fun thing he and his dad do is go to a neighborhood tavern. It is not a brass/fern place, just a simple well used joint. They started going there when it was determined we did not have the right cable for certain sporting events. Maybe once every four weeks, but often enough the waitresses know Adam does not like certain things on his sandwich. Enough they don't card him. A few weeks ago Art and Adam were at the bar and neighbors of our walked in and they were visibly pleased to meet up with each other. The neighbors are in their late 20s..now they have something else in common and instead of a polite wave across the street they stroll over to chat. It is all about boiling the ocean. They won't become great friends, but the relationship has changed, Adam is seen in a different light. Cindi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 21, 2011 Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 When my daughter, calls to order her " Saturday " night special - small cheese pizza, a chocolate chip cookie and a coke - they just say " hi , your usual order? " We get a big kick out of this as she is so predictable. Her sister is getting married in the fall and she is making a cookbook for her filled with recipes from family, friends, etc. One of her pages is going to be her Saturday night special! Just to throw a bit of proud parent in here - she is off to the Best Buddies International Conference tomorrow. She was presented with the inaugural " spirit of Courage Award " from Best Buddies last year. This year she is doing the welcome speech to 1400 attendees! And, presenting the award to the new recipient for 2011. She is sooooo excited and we're soooo proud of her! Kathy Re: Community Question Adam has been out of transition for two years now and is pretty much a regular in our downtown. He goes to the bank, they all know him and understand his 'accent. He goes to the barber shop , again, they get him. The most fun thing he and his dad do is go to a neighborhood tavern. It is not a brass/fern place, just a simple well used joint. They started going there when it was determined we did not have the right cable for certain sporting events. Maybe once every four weeks, but often enough the waitresses know Adam does not like certain things on his sandwich. Enough they don't card him. A few weeks ago Art and Adam were at the bar and neighbors of our walked in and they were visibly pleased to meet up with each other. The neighbors are in their late 20s..now they have something else in common and instead of a polite wave across the street they stroll over to chat. It is all about boiling the ocean. They won't become great friends, but the relationship has changed, Adam is seen in a different light. Cindi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 21, 2011 Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 proud of your daughter. When I would ask a group of typical young people who would be willing to give a public address...no one would bite. I find when I invite folks with dd, young adults, they all seem to have the courage. Very proud of the huge steps our 'kids' are taking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 22, 2011 Report Share Posted July 22, 2011 Wow Kathy, you should be proud. Do you have a flip camera? If so please record her moment. I would love to see it. It is so easy to upload the flips, it almost does it for you. If you do not have one you are welcome to borrow mine. It is lighter and smaller than my cell phone . Ficker Terrill On 21/07/2011, at 23:17, klipke@... wrote: > When my daughter, calls to order her " Saturday " night special - small cheese pizza, a chocolate chip cookie and a coke - they just say " hi , your usual order? " We get a big kick out of this as she is so predictable. Her sister is getting married in the fall and she is making a cookbook for her filled with recipes from family, friends, etc. One of her pages is going to be her Saturday night special! > > Just to throw a bit of proud parent in here - she is off to the Best Buddies International Conference tomorrow. She was presented with the inaugural " spirit of Courage Award " from Best Buddies last year. This year she is doing the welcome speech to 1400 attendees! And, presenting the award to the new recipient for 2011. She is sooooo excited and we're soooo proud of her! > > Kathy > > Re: Community Question > > Adam has been out of transition for two years now and is pretty much a > regular in our downtown. He goes to the bank, they all know him and > understand his 'accent. He goes to the barber shop , again, they get him. > The most fun thing he and his dad do is go to a neighborhood tavern. It is > not a brass/fern place, just a simple well used joint. They started > going there when it was determined we did not have the right cable for > certain sporting events. Maybe once every four weeks, but often enough > the waitresses know Adam does not like certain things on his sandwich. > Enough they don't card him. > A few weeks ago Art and Adam were at the bar and neighbors of our walked in > and they were visibly pleased to meet up with each other. The neighbors are > in their late 20s..now they have something else in common and instead of a > polite wave across the street they stroll over to chat. > It is all about boiling the ocean. They won't become great friends, but > the relationship has changed, Adam is seen in a different light. > > Cindi > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 22, 2011 Report Share Posted July 22, 2011 My son doesn't go places independently, but being a regular is good advice. After one of my son's support workers took him to chili's several Saturday evening, someone there--another regular--started paying their bill. When various workers took him to the health club over several years, the staff and other members had an eye out for him and would report back to me on how the worker interacted with my son when I wasn't around. It takes a village. > > I’ve been reading a nice little book called ‘101 Ways to Make Friends: Ideas and Conversation Starters for People with Disabilities and their Supporters’, by Kurliak and Johannes. It’s described as a tool book for those interested in how to support development of real, lasting relationships in our communities. > > Take this example from the book: > > Tip #9: Become a ‘regular’. Take the paper to the coffee shop every Saturday instead of reading it at home. > Just like the theme song from the old tv show Cheers †" where everybody knows your name...and it always stays the same. > > Simple concept, right? How about we share some ideas with the group about how this can look and work in our own communities? > > How has your son/daughter become a regular in your neighborhood or community? Where do they go, what do they do, who with, and what benefits or stumbling blocks have you seen with this approach? > > Share them here and we’ll make a list. And if you like this, and feel it’s helpful, we can go through the book, one idea at a time, til we exhaust them all. > > L. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 22, 2011 Report Share Posted July 22, 2011 In a few different settings where a large group of folks are putting on name tags, I've pointed them out to Neal, and he's said, " I don't need a name tag. Everyone knows me. "  And he is right; everyone knows Neal, or maybe I should say, once people meet Neal they don't forget him. If your kid has an interest that might put him in contact with like-minded people, see if you can find a clothing item to express it. A Cubs cap or jacket. A cat sweatshirt. An " I love gardening " or Star Trek T. Those things can break the ice for conversations and help people remember you. Neal has the world's largest collection of train shirts, and conversation to match. (The hardest part is getting him to toss those shirts when they get frayed!) Summer is a great time to get out and do some of these in-town things at low cost. Try the vintage car shows (some towns have them weekly), parade, sidewalk sale, or the outdoor music festival, especially those in your town or very close by. Your kid can be a " regular " in those free/cheap community activities, not just the same businesses. Just like eating at the same place, your kid may decide to go to the JazzFest every year. For things to do more often, I agree with the suggestion of the same day of the week, same time of day. You'll meet the folks working on that shift as well as the regular patrons. -Gail From: Jerue Family <jeruefamily@...> Subject: Re: Community Question IPADDUnite Date: Thursday, July 21, 2011, 2:52 PM  That’s great! In our case, is known at the stores, restaurants & volunteer sites she frequents. Years ago I figured out that if we always stopped at Walgreens after school on Tuesdays, the same nice lady would be manning the cashier’s station & she calls by name, big smiles, very nice woman. likes being ‘known’. So even after school ended, we still have Tuesday afternoons as our Walgreens day, to keep that relationship going. Similar thing at restaurants (they know her order down to how many catsups she wants with her lunch basket at Culvers) and at her volunteer sites the same thing happens. gets this little glow on her face when she hears people saying hello and saying her name. That part’s really nice! What I’d like to see, however, is for us to try moving a smidge past the ‘hi ’ stage and move into sharing a little back and forth at her regular volunteer sites with the paid staff. This one has proven a bit harder. We tried having her take in her iPad to show some pictures on, but she is SO set in her routine of working that she resists stopping to ‘chat’ and show her pictures, let alone talk about them in a pleasant way with the other person. She wants to get right to work and start shredding! No chit chat for her! So I’m not sure how that part of the situation can be improved. Maybe the lesson is to build that part of the interaction in from the very beginning! BUT it is so nice that so many people in the City govt know who she is and that she’s a good worker and that she has a great laugh. Laurie From: Cindi Swanson Sent: Thursday, July 21, 2011 2:29 PM IPADDUnite Subject: Re: Community Question Adam has been out of transition for two years now and is pretty much a regular in our downtown. He goes to the bank, they all know him and understand his 'accent. He goes to the barber shop , again, they get him. The most fun thing he and his dad do is go to a neighborhood tavern. It is not a brass/fern place, just a simple well used joint. They started going there when it was determined we did not have the right cable for certain sporting events. Maybe once every four weeks, but often enough the waitresses know Adam does not like certain things on his sandwich. Enough they don't card him. A few weeks ago Art and Adam were at the bar and neighbors of our walked in and they were visibly pleased to meet up with each other. The neighbors are in their late 20s..now they have something else in common and instead of a polite wave across the street they stroll over to chat. It is all about boiling the ocean. They won't become great friends, but the relationship has changed, Adam is seen in a different light. Cindi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 25, 2011 Report Share Posted July 25, 2011 Congratulations to for her accomplishments and courage, and to Kathy for all of the years of work behind this!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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