Guest guest Posted May 22, 2011 Report Share Posted May 22, 2011 Laurie, Okay...you provided my laugh for the day. Maybe the week! It just proves we can never win when it comes to our kids on the spectrum. As soon as they learn something, they outsmart us. Happens every time. Carmel ________________________________ From: Jerue Family <jeruefamily@...> IPADDUnite Sent: Sun, May 22, 2011 10:37:55 AM Subject: Crapadoodle!! Remember when you worried about whether your young child with a disability could learn to speak up for themselves, express their wants and needs, become self-advocates, etc???? Well, I’m here to tell you, sometimes that comes back to bite you in the butt!! One of our Helper Girl company’s ‘divisions’ (and my personal favorite!) is design and installation of seasonal outdoor container plantings. That portion of our business continues to grow, thanks to word of mouth and repeat customers. The business model relies on me doing the design and purchasing, and helping/doing the heavy lifting, carrying, watering, fertilization, etc. She’s the ‘braun’ in our operation. But guess what? Helper Girl has apparently figured out she’s tired of lifting and carrying heavy planters!! She’s been balking at doing the work this spring, repeatedly using louder vocalizations when we’re out and about, not a good thing when you scare the customers. And then this morning, on this perfectly beautiful day, when I cue her that it’s time to load up and go to a customer/business jobsite, she looks right at me and says.....’NOT’... which is her very clear way of expressing her desire to stay home. HUH??? Did she not get the memo that yes, it’s great to self-advocate and self-determine, except when it’s to your dear mother????? Fortunately there are other parts of the business that she still likes to do, the parts that have nothing to do with flowers or plants. So sad for me. Maybe that part needs to turn back into my hobby. It’s not fun at all when your partner is screaming. Sigh. Sometimes self-determination isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. Laurie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 22, 2011 Report Share Posted May 22, 2011 (((((Laurie))))))))) I feel your pain! Angel has her own unique way of vocalizing her 'opinions' on certain issues (remember at the meeting last week, how she hovered over me because she felt it was time to leave). > > Remember when you worried about whether your young child with a disability could learn to speak up for themselves, express their wants and needs, become self-advocates, etc???? Well, I’m here to tell you, sometimes that comes back to bite you in the butt!! One of our Helper Girl company’s ‘divisions’ (and my personal favorite!) is design and installation of seasonal outdoor container plantings. That portion of our business continues to grow, thanks to word of mouth and repeat customers. The business model relies on me doing the design and purchasing, and helping/doing the heavy lifting, carrying, watering, fertilization, etc. She’s the ‘braun’ in our operation. > > But guess what? Helper Girl has apparently figured out she’s tired of lifting and carrying heavy planters!! She’s been balking at doing the work this spring, repeatedly using louder vocalizations when we’re out and about, not a good thing when you scare the customers. And then this morning, on this perfectly beautiful day, when I cue her that it’s time to load up and go to a customer/business jobsite, she looks right at me and says.....’NOT’... which is her very clear way of expressing her desire to stay home. > > HUH??? > > Did she not get the memo that yes, it’s great to self-advocate and self-determine, except when it’s to your dear mother????? > > Fortunately there are other parts of the business that she still likes to do, the parts that have nothing to do with flowers or plants. So sad for me. Maybe that part needs to turn back into my hobby. It’s not fun at all when your partner is screaming. > > Sigh. > > Sometimes self-determination isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. > > Laurie > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 22, 2011 Report Share Posted May 22, 2011 Laurie, If you decide you want to hire another helper to keep the plant division, Quentin could be your braun. He even loves to shop for plants as I discovered today when we went to " we grow dreams " to shop for my pots. We'll see how he does planting later. Thais Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 22, 2011 Report Share Posted May 22, 2011 Always glad to provide some comic relief! And I knew you guys would get it. Laughter is so much better than the alternatives. L. From: Carmel Marshall Sent: Sunday, May 22, 2011 11:22 AM IPADDUnite Subject: Re: Crapadoodle!! Laurie, Okay...you provided my laugh for the day. Maybe the week! It just proves we can never win when it comes to our kids on the spectrum. As soon as they learn something, they outsmart us. Happens every time. Carmel ________________________________ From: Jerue Family <mailto:jeruefamily%40comcast.net> mailto:IPADDUnite%40 Sent: Sun, May 22, 2011 10:37:55 AM Subject: Crapadoodle!! Remember when you worried about whether your young child with a disability could learn to speak up for themselves, express their wants and needs, become self-advocates, etc???? Well, I’m here to tell you, sometimes that comes back to bite you in the butt!! One of our Helper Girl company’s ‘divisions’ (and my personal favorite!) is design and installation of seasonal outdoor container plantings. That portion of our business continues to grow, thanks to word of mouth and repeat customers. The business model relies on me doing the design and purchasing, and helping/doing the heavy lifting, carrying, watering, fertilization, etc. She’s the ‘braun’ in our operation. But guess what? Helper Girl has apparently figured out she’s tired of lifting and carrying heavy planters!! She’s been balking at doing the work this spring, repeatedly using louder vocalizations when we’re out and about, not a good thing when you scare the customers. And then this morning, on this perfectly beautiful day, when I cue her that it’s time to load up and go to a customer/business jobsite, she looks right at me and says.....’NOT’... which is her very clear way of expressing her desire to stay home. HUH??? Did she not get the memo that yes, it’s great to self-advocate and self-determine, except when it’s to your dear mother????? Fortunately there are other parts of the business that she still likes to do, the parts that have nothing to do with flowers or plants. So sad for me. Maybe that part needs to turn back into my hobby. It’s not fun at all when your partner is screaming. Sigh. Sometimes self-determination isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. Laurie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 23, 2011 Report Share Posted May 23, 2011 Looks like Laurie has experienced the downside of self-determination!!! Once given a voice, our children and loved ones with disabilities actually need to have their choices respected. After I stopped laughing, I started applauding Laurie's response...sounds like she listened and started thinking about Plan B... Ellen Ellen Garber Bronfeld egskb@... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 23, 2011 Report Share Posted May 23, 2011 Greetings, My dear son did not learn the word " no " until he went into adult services. It is no this and no that.. he will sometimes correct himself with a no, pause, yes! I loved your story Laurie, I laughed out loud! Welcome to the adult world! Carol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 23, 2011 Report Share Posted May 23, 2011 Carol, I’ll look forward to the day when she says ‘no’ then ‘yes’...in the meantime, I’ve been planting while she sits in the car, listening to music in the A.C.! What’s wrong with this picture? Laurie From: carol paske Sent: Monday, May 23, 2011 3:39 PM IPADDUnite Subject: Re: Crapadoodle!! Greetings, My dear son did not learn the word " no " until he went into adult services. It is no this and no that.. he will sometimes correct himself with a no, pause, yes! I loved your story Laurie, I laughed out loud! Welcome to the adult world! Carol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 24, 2011 Report Share Posted May 24, 2011 Stop scaring me. If the indefatigible Adam gets the idea to quit, I'm up the creek. > > Remember when you worried about whether your young child with a disability could learn to speak up for themselves, express their wants and needs, become self-advocates, etc???? Well, I’m here to tell you, sometimes that comes back to bite you in the butt!! One of our Helper Girl company’s ‘divisions’ (and my personal favorite!) is design and installation of seasonal outdoor container plantings. That portion of our business continues to grow, thanks to word of mouth and repeat customers. The business model relies on me doing the design and purchasing, and helping/doing the heavy lifting, carrying, watering, fertilization, etc. She’s the ‘braun’ in our operation. > > But guess what? Helper Girl has apparently figured out she’s tired of lifting and carrying heavy planters!! She’s been balking at doing the work this spring, repeatedly using louder vocalizations when we’re out and about, not a good thing when you scare the customers. And then this morning, on this perfectly beautiful day, when I cue her that it’s time to load up and go to a customer/business jobsite, she looks right at me and says.....’NOT’... which is her very clear way of expressing her desire to stay home. > > HUH??? > > Did she not get the memo that yes, it’s great to self-advocate and self-determine, except when it’s to your dear mother????? > > Fortunately there are other parts of the business that she still likes to do, the parts that have nothing to do with flowers or plants. So sad for me. Maybe that part needs to turn back into my hobby. It’s not fun at all when your partner is screaming. > > Sigh. > > Sometimes self-determination isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. > > Laurie > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 25, 2011 Report Share Posted May 25, 2011 One of life's little ironies is that we work hard to teach our loved ones who have disabilities to " have a voice " and make their own choices. Then, when they do, WE get to deal with the consequences... Whoever said that life wasn't fun??? Ellen Ellen Garber Bronfeld egskb@... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 25, 2011 Report Share Posted May 25, 2011 And here I thought that’s what I was here for...to scare all of you with my stories from the great beyond of post-transition life! Moral to the story, always good to have a Plan B in mind. I know, I know, it’s tough enough to come up with a Plan A, right? Hang in there, Adam probably won’t quit anytime soon. With , just being with me, her mom, her most favorite person in the world, was enough motivation to carry those heavy pots for years and years. Plus she DID and still does like to carry or push heavy things. Like yesterday, she had a big grin on her face as she carried in two large boxes from a shredding client. And last night was happily attacking the work in her basement office. I think what’s happened to is a GOOD thing, if I try to be really grownup about it. What’s happened is that being with Mom is no longer the be-all-end-all of her world. She likes being with other people for a big chunk of her day, with people other than ME. And that’s a huge developmental, growing-up, kind of development for her! So I’m happy for her. This is what we all want and hope for, right? That our kids develop interests apart from us, because one day we’re going to die and we don’t want them SO in love with us that their worlds fall completely apart. Mind you, I didn’t appreciate her deciding to tell me about this when we still had twelve heavy containers to move from our garage into place at client’s homes! But we made it through, they’re all done but 5, and those 5 are not so heavy plus she loves the client they are for so always enjoys going to her house for deliveries. So we’ll be ok. I think next season we’ll pull back some more, do fewer clients and just keep the people we know and love (friends, family) so it’s not too overwhelming for her. Then we’re both happy. L. From: jbergman51 Sent: Tuesday, May 24, 2011 11:13 PM IPADDUnite Subject: Re: Crapadoodle!! Stop scaring me. If the indefatigible Adam gets the idea to quit, I'm up the creek. > > Remember when you worried about whether your young child with a disability could learn to speak up for themselves, express their wants and needs, become self-advocates, etc???? Well, I’m here to tell you, sometimes that comes back to bite you in the butt!! One of our Helper Girl company’s ‘divisions’ (and my personal favorite!) is design and installation of seasonal outdoor container plantings. That portion of our business continues to grow, thanks to word of mouth and repeat customers. The business model relies on me doing the design and purchasing, and helping/doing the heavy lifting, carrying, watering, fertilization, etc. She’s the ‘braun’ in our operation. > > But guess what? Helper Girl has apparently figured out she’s tired of lifting and carrying heavy planters!! She’s been balking at doing the work this spring, repeatedly using louder vocalizations when we’re out and about, not a good thing when you scare the customers. And then this morning, on this perfectly beautiful day, when I cue her that it’s time to load up and go to a customer/business jobsite, she looks right at me and says.....’NOT’... which is her very clear way of expressing her desire to stay home. > > HUH??? > > Did she not get the memo that yes, it’s great to self-advocate and self-determine, except when it’s to your dear mother????? > > Fortunately there are other parts of the business that she still likes to do, the parts that have nothing to do with flowers or plants. So sad for me. Maybe that part needs to turn back into my hobby. It’s not fun at all when your partner is screaming. > > Sigh. > > Sometimes self-determination isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. > > Laurie > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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