Fw: (NOEWAIT) Natural Supports

April 19, 2011

This will probably resonate with some of you...ok...most of you/us...

Ellen

Ellen Garber Bronfeld

egskb@...

Re: (NOEWAIT) Natural Supports

Since we are sharing here, I thought I would as well.

Like 's son, my son is a big guy. He is 6'4 " tall and weighs about 250

pounds.

When he was little, I had some " natural supports " - grandparents who are

almost all gone now. One of them abused him so that " natural support "

stopped immediately.

Then there were the " paid supports " like respite care workers who didn't

have a clue, kept him for a weekend and complained to high heaven about how

bad his behavior was. Duh, behavior issues? What a surprise for a kid

with...drum roll...BEHAVIOR ISSUES that made me need respite to begin with.

So, we did the paid supports TWICE in his whole life until he became an

adult.

Now...our paid supports can't handle him either, IF we can find them after I

take several hours off work to interview them - and they never call back.

Once, my son went to visit my brother in California. (A couple of years

ago). BLESS MY BROTHER'S HEART for doing this for him. But, it was the

first and probably the last time it will ever happen.

I have no family in Colorado. My best friend just told me that she wants to

manage my son's affairs for me if I am gone. This was huge for me. I

didn't ask her - she told me. She knows he will have a special needs trust.

She also offered to be my backup when I move to the mountains. (My son is

staying in the city, I am moving to the foothills. His dad lives in the

city but is " barely " there for him - but enough to go get him if there is a

problem and I won't be far away anyway). But, my best friend has never even

babysat my son or spent any time alone with him before.

I do not belong to any church and won't do it just so I can find some

so-called natural supports.

Most people can't handle my son. They pretend to like him then they talk

over him, ignore him and never invite him anywhere. THAT is what natural

supports are to me.... people who " make nice " and then disappear.

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