Guest guest Posted January 6, 2002 Report Share Posted January 6, 2002 Thank you so much, Shoshana! I love reading your posts and you've been quite helpful. I will inquire about outside help with this, as you suggested. You know, I try to imagine 's adult life and it really scares me. I cannot imagine my life without him living under my roof, but then again, maybe this is not what will want. I always cop out of these thoughts by saying to myself, " I'll cross that bridge when I get to it " , but as the years fly by, I see that bridge getting closer and closer, and not being so far off in the distance. I love the posts from parents of older children. It gives me hope and quells my fears. Thank you! Jackie, Mom to 14ds, 11, and Bradley 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2002 Report Share Posted January 6, 2002 When we think about the typical process of learning to cross the street, we realise that it doesn't happen in 'a lesson', or even a series of 'lessons'. When our children are young, we carry them (or ride them in strollers). Get to the corner. Stop, look, listen. Wait while traffic moves by. Cross in one movement. At first, the child just _feels_ the pattern. Then the child is walking with us. Get to the corner, holding hands. Stop, look, listen. Talk about stopping, looking, listening. Feel the pattern. Begin to build language around the pattern. We're safe because we're together. We're safe because we stop... Later, the child is walking with us. Get to the corner, no longer holding hands. Maybe a touch on the shoulder. Talk about how we judge how fast an approaching car is moving, how soon it will cross our path. We create safety together. Later, " You tell me when it's safe to cross " . And so on. How do we get to Carnegie Hall? Practice! It's a long process, and it involves a lot of attention on the part of the parent / care-giver. When are we ready to take the next tiny step? When do we need to back-track? We don't skip ahead eight steps based on some abstract notion of 'independence'. And we provide company - companionship - as long as someone needs it. When a child has difficulty learning (needs more teaching power), we 'crank up' the process. More attention. More practice. Fine-grained attention -- remembering the process in even more detail, making our own role less 'automatic'. Sometimes we engage other companions, other teachers. My point? It's not a mystery. It's not something we start after a 'transition IEP'. We start thinking about the balance between providing companionship / protection and stretching the boundaries _early in the game_. Here's a guess ... it's just possible that one way to reduce 'impulsiveness' is to increase _engagement_. If the child feels that it's truly good for us to be together, to do things together, then the 'impulse' to do something can be expressed in companionship. We learn _together_ to experience attraction (a store window, the swings, whatever is across the street) and invite our companion to share that experience. The impulse can become an impulse to communicate, converse, negotiate, move together, enjoy together, rather than to break and run. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Meridith wrote (on the Our-Kids list): I also really like the Hawaii Early Learning Profile (HELP) books... I responded: I _love_ the HELP books. Basically, they take a fine-grained look at normal development, and then ask the question, " What would we need to do to strengthen / support / encourage that specific development " . What sold me was running into one particular item (I think it was part of a group of actions related either to communication or social engagement): Child Squeals with Delight The instruction for strengthening / supporting / encouraging that element began with: 1) Delight the child. What appeals to me is that the entire process of development is expressed in normative terms. The underlying message is that there is a lot we can do to encourage and support our child's development. The way to think about this is to pay attention to the normal process of strengthening / supporting / encouraging and 'crank it up' a bit (or even quite a bit). The HELP books also blow away the myth of some kind of unitary 'developmental level' that describes a child's current state or that predicts the child's ultimate state. Good stuff. Dave Wetherow Vancouver Island http://www.communityworks.info Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2002 Report Share Posted January 6, 2002 SHOSHI8@... wrote: I approached the local agencies to help fund someone to facilitate Tom learning to cross streets...............the funds became available.......this individual took Tom out 2-3 times a week and Tom learned to cross the streets....... What a great idea! I think I'll ask private therapy to work on this. We go to a medical office building where the traffic is horrendous. Bridget is so unaware of it. She is too busy looking for someone to say " Hi " or " See you soon " to... LOL mom to Bridget 8 ds --------------------------------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2002 Report Share Posted January 6, 2002 In a message dated 1/6/02 4:48:17 PM Pacific Standard Time, lisa@... writes: > > And they call our kids " retarded " ...........??????? sometimes, I think > > the problem is not their heads, but ours............... > I think a lot of us underestimate the power and potential of our kids sometimes! Just when you think you've got them down pat, they do something to amaze us! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2002 Report Share Posted January 6, 2002 ROFLMAO...I can relate to this.....I am sure some people think I am the retarded one, and not BJ at times........and I just love it when I do something stupid at home, and I get " that " look from - you know the one that says " and they say that I am retarded? " hehehehehe must be a blonde thing > > > And they call our kids " retarded " ...........??????? sometimes, I think > the problem is not their heads, but ours............... -- Leis Mum to BJ 4 (19th Nov) and Jellybean due early Feb 2002 ICQ# 8168619 " Wise men never sit and wail their loss, but cheerily seek how to redress their harms. " Henry the Sixth-Part Three 5 iv Shakespeare Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2002 Report Share Posted January 7, 2002 In a message dated 1/6/02 6:48:13 PM Central Standard Time, lisa@... writes: > one, and not BJ at times........and I > just love it when I do something stupid at home, and I get " that " look from > - you know the one that says " and > they say that I am retarded? " hehehehehe must be a blonde thing > > I don't know, I'm not blonde. thinks it's hilarious when I do > something dumb. Especially when I'm not trying to be funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 23, 2011 Report Share Posted January 23, 2011 An important life skill is learning how to cross the street. These free resources include many videos, songs and tips for parents on pedestrian safety. http://bit.ly/ePLIFB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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