Re: Inclusion - Pessimism & Parents

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

It's very good of you to seek encouragement for your friend.  Please let him

know that there are people who are working every day to advocate for the

inclusion of people with disabilities into their communities. 

You might want to direct him to some websites of advocacy groups.  One is the

Illinois Council on Developmental Disabilities (www.state.il.us/agency/icdd). 

On that site he can read about the " Speak Up and Speak Out " Summit sponsored by

the ICDD.  I've attended, along with my 26-year old son, who's on the autism

spectrum.  He liked it and wants to attend again.  Not only workshops; there's

a fun dance.  It's coming up on Nov. 4 & 5 in Springfield, IL.  Lots of the

people who attend have developmental disabilities; they share what they have

done to advocate for themselves.  Very impressive.  So you and your friend

might find it empowering.

I know there are people with autism who are on-line reporting about their lives

--don't know any particular sites.  But this could be one kind of positive

community for this young man.   You're very right that anyone needs positive

expectations, not just a protective bubble. 

Another site that may be inspiring is that of the fine organization that

supports my son in living in the community:  the Center for Independent Futures

in ton  (www.independentfutures.com).  They provide support, but

absolutely no protective bubble -- certainly all for inclusion.  Lots of

pictures of participants enjoying life. 

Thank you for working to give your friend some hope.  There are reasons to be

hopeful. Actually there are  a number of parents involved in advocacy who just

do not make the time to go on-line.  I did not when my son was in school.  I

was too busy helping with homework and planning for the next school meeting.

Just heard a wonderful quote:  " Hope requires planning. "   Another older one: 

" A family is a circle of friends who love you. "   I hope you can encourage the

young man to create a circle of friends and family who will work with him on

planning for his hopes and dreams.

If you would want to share the city where he lives, it's possible someone in 

IPADD could help him connect with good groups.

Thanks again for your support for this young man.

Bonnie Dohogne

From: <nathan@...>

Subject: Inclusion - Pessimism & Parents

IPADDUnite

Date: Thursday, October 7, 2010, 6:02 PM

 

I was talking to a fifteen year veteran of autism and developmental

disability support services today. He told me parents many times are pessimistic

about their aging childing now in adulthood. That being included is not the

focus but in protective bubbles in support programs only. That to expect of

society more quality is kind of a lost hope since early on when disabled people

are children.

I was wondering what you think so I can comment to him. He also said parents

involved online are likely to be more positive because they are involved in

advocacy. Not many parents are involved in advocacy so change is more unlikely

becuase of that.

Young

HFA

[Guest guest]

It seems I am having trouble being on the same context. I am the young man and I

am oberving the attitudes of professionals and the system. I am a self-advocate

in Humboldt county california.

>

> I was talking to a fifteen year veteran of autism and developmental disability

support services today. He told me parents many times are pessimistic about

their aging childing now in adulthood. That being included is not the focus but

in protective bubbles in support programs only. That to expect of society more

quality is kind of a lost hope since early on when disabled people are children.

>

> I was wondering what you think so I can comment to him. He also said parents

involved online are likely to be more positive because they are involved in

advocacy. Not many parents are involved in advocacy so change is more unlikely

becuase of that.

>

> Young

> HFA

>

[Guest guest]

,

My son also has autism but he is lower functioning. There is a difference

between being " pessimistic " and " realistic " . My son is not able to

speak--despite years of therapy--and only understands basic things. He is not

able to write and could never email or be on the internet, such as you are

doing, but does read at a pre-school level. However, he is a whiz at stuffing

envelopes and " facing " store shelves. While those are not the jobs we had

envisioned for him, he is very good at them and we've started a very basic (and

" volunteer " because we don't want him to lose any resources) envelope stuffing

business.

We look at his challenges and instead of focusing on what he CAN'T do try to

focus on what he CAN do. Many times, in regard to those challenges we say " how

can we make this work " . We are stubborn and tenacious when it comes to him.

We have to be realistic; it would be unfair to if we weren't.

Marie

> >

> > I was talking to a fifteen year veteran of autism and developmental

disability support services today. He told me parents many times are pessimistic

about their aging childing now in adulthood. That being included is not the

focus but in protective bubbles in support programs only. That to expect of

society more quality is kind of a lost hope since early on when disabled people

are children.

> >

> > I was wondering what you think so I can comment to him. He also said parents

involved online are likely to be more positive because they are involved in

advocacy. Not many parents are involved in advocacy so change is more unlikely

becuase of that.

> >

> > Young

> > HFA

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Yep that seems reasonable. I think opportunity is better then no opportunity. I

am stubborn to and it has resulted in something I was so determined to to do but

was impossible. I like stubborn, I like bold determination and I like empowering

changes.

In disability centers, especially the one I was member of and now just employ

some of the people that are part of it, there is a full spectrum of people. So I

am used to the diversity of applied tasks and creating paid work is my job as an

advocate. Someone is actually working on an envelope stuffing project for me

now. I hope to increase the wages to beyond $8.00 an hour.

>

> ,

>

> My son also has autism but he is lower functioning. There is a difference

between being " pessimistic " and " realistic " . My son is not able to

speak--despite years of therapy--and only understands basic things. He is not

able to write and could never email or be on the internet, such as you are

doing, but does read at a pre-school level. However, he is a whiz at stuffing

envelopes and " facing " store shelves. While those are not the jobs we had

envisioned for him, he is very good at them and we've started a very basic (and

" volunteer " because we don't want him to lose any resources) envelope stuffing

business.

>

> We look at his challenges and instead of focusing on what he CAN'T do try to

focus on what he CAN do. Many times, in regard to those challenges we say " how

can we make this work " . We are stubborn and tenacious when it comes to him.

>

> We have to be realistic; it would be unfair to if we weren't.

>

> Marie