Re: A night to remember

[Guest guest]

Touching story. Thanks for sharing.

From: DOUG MAN <dougman1@...>

Subject: A night to remember

cures for AIDS

Date: Monday, August 16, 2010, 3:50 PM

 

When I first tested positive it was 1985. The HIV test was brand new and AZT was

in experimental stages of development. I had a buddy (a buddy back then was

someone with AIDS who you took care of at home because no one else would care

for them. We had to take care of eachother.) who was getting AZT by

compassionate use from the manufacturer. Not being ill enough to qualify for

compassionate use I entered a protocol trial for AZT and I ran the risk of

getting a placebo.

Everyone in protocol trials wanted to know if they had the drug or placebo. Some

even bribed laboratories to chemically test their sample to determine if it was

drug or placebo. (Imagine how desperate people with AIDS were.) The news was out

that they were able to copy AZT in every way, size of the pill, texture of the

compound, smell, look, etc. The only thing they could not copy was the taste. So

my buddy gave me a pill of known AZT. I remember very clearly seeing it on his

dresser. The little white pill with the blue stripe and my eyes dazzled as if I

was looking at the golden fleece. So this is what it looks like, I said.

My boyfriend and I took the pill and called a few friends. That night all 4 of

us sat in a circle on the floor in my living room and emptied out one of my

capsules onto a piece of paper and then we emptied out the AZT onto a separate

piece if paper. Each of us examined the two contents and concluded they were

identical. Then we each wet a finger and took a taste first one. Then the other.

It was as bitter as can be and we all rolled up our lips and tongues. We looked

at eachother and nodded. They tasted the same. The conclusion was I had AZT from

protocol study. It saved my life.

[Guest guest]

What happened to your friend? Did he survive?

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

A night to remember

cures for AIDS

Date: Monday, August 16, 2010, 3:50 PM

 

When I first tested positive it was 1985. The HIV test was brand new and AZT was

in experimental stages of development. I had a buddy (a buddy back then was

someone with AIDS who you took care of at home because no one else would care

for them. We had to take care of eachother.) who was getting AZT by

compassionate use from the manufacturer. Not being ill enough to qualify for

compassionate use I entered a protocol trial for AZT and I ran the risk of

getting a placebo.

Everyone in protocol trials wanted to know if they had the drug or placebo. Some

even bribed laboratories to chemically test their sample to determine if it was

drug or placebo. (Imagine how desperate people with AIDS were.) The news was out

that they were able to copy AZT in every way, size of the pill, texture of the

compound, smell, look, etc. The only thing they could not copy was the taste. So

my buddy gave me a pill of known AZT. I remember very clearly seeing it on his

dresser. The little white pill with the blue stripe and my eyes dazzled as if I

was looking at the golden fleece. So this is what it looks like, I said.

My boyfriend and I took the pill and called a few friends. That night all 4 of

us sat in a circle on the floor in my living room and emptied out one of my

capsules onto a piece of paper and then we emptied out the AZT onto a separate

piece if paper. Each of us examined the two contents and concluded they were

identical. Then we each wet a finger and took a taste first one. Then the other.

It was as bitter as can be and we all rolled up our lips and tongues. We looked

at eachother and nodded. They tasted the same. The conclusion was I had AZT from

protocol study. It saved my life.

[Guest guest]

I moved away. When I last saw him he was in very poor health, barely surviving.

I assume by now he is dead.

A night to remember

cures for AIDS

Date: Monday, August 16, 2010, 3:50 PM

When I first tested positive it was 1985. The HIV test was brand new and AZT

was in experimental stages of development. I had a buddy (a buddy back then was

someone with AIDS who you took care of at home because no one else would care

for them. We had to take care of eachother.) who was getting AZT by

compassionate use from the manufacturer. Not being ill enough to qualify for

compassionate use I entered a protocol trial for AZT and I ran the risk of

getting a placebo.

Everyone in protocol trials wanted to know if they had the drug or placebo.

Some even bribed laboratories to chemically test their sample to determine if it

was drug or placebo. (Imagine how desperate people with AIDS were.) The news was

out that they were able to copy AZT in every way, size of the pill, texture of

the compound, smell, look, etc. The only thing they could not copy was the

taste. So my buddy gave me a pill of known AZT. I remember very clearly seeing

it on his dresser. The little white pill with the blue stripe and my eyes

dazzled as if I was looking at the golden fleece. So this is what it looks like,

I said.

My boyfriend and I took the pill and called a few friends. That night all 4 of

us sat in a circle on the floor in my living room and emptied out one of my

capsules onto a piece of paper and then we emptied out the AZT onto a separate

piece if paper. Each of us examined the two contents and concluded they were

identical. Then we each wet a finger and took a taste first one. Then the other.

It was as bitter as can be and we all rolled up our lips and tongues. We looked

at eachother and nodded. They tasted the same. The conclusion was I had AZT from

protocol study. It saved my life.

[Guest guest]

I actually had two buddies at different times before I moved. Both were

characters in very different ways. The first one had severe dementia and lived

with a roommate/boyfriend who provided most of his care. So as buddies we were

there to comfort the boyfriend and give him time to rest. A person with dementia

becomes like a little child and needs constant attention to keep them from

getting hurt. We would always bring treats to help keep the buddy happy. Often

we brought cookies which we bought from a bakery on the way to his apartment.

One time we brought cake. Several slices of a big rich chocolate layer cake. The

buddy was not impressed and carried on about having to eat cake. Our buddy wore

diapers because he could no longer control his body functions. We were

scheduling our next visit with the boyfriend and were getting ready to leave.

There in the doorway was the buddy wearing only his diaper demanding " bring me

cookies " . To this date we joke about Bring me cookies!

That was a tragedy because the family of the buddy was going to put him in an

institution. The boyfriend was just beside himself because he had no say in it.

The family didn't care, and the boyfriend could not afford the apartment on his

own. He found himself with no lover and no where to live. As buddies of course

we had no say about it either. There was nothing we could do.

Our next buddy was the guy on AZT. He was a Brazilian guy who shared a one

bedroom apartment with his mother. She gave up her bedroom for him. She slept on

the couch. They always fought and had some nasty vulgar yelling fights. We

could not believe what we heard especially since she gave up her bedroom for

him. We met him in the Spring. In July one day I was wearing gym shorts. He was

bed ridden and saw my dick hanging in the shorts. He spoke broken English and

all he did during that visit and many times after that was grab at my crotch

saying in his broken English " bigge dicke " . What a character. Then we moved

away.

Where I live now I had a third buddy who was a character in a different way, but

that is for another time.

A night to remember

cures for AIDS

Date: Monday, August 16, 2010, 3:50 PM

When I first tested positive it was 1985. The HIV test was brand new and AZT

was in experimental stages of development. I had a buddy (a buddy back then was

someone with AIDS who you took care of at home because no one else would care

for them. We had to take care of eachother.) who was getting AZT by

compassionate use from the manufacturer. Not being ill enough to qualify for

compassionate use I entered a protocol trial for AZT and I ran the risk of

getting a placebo.

Everyone in protocol trials wanted to know if they had the drug or placebo.

Some even bribed laboratories to chemically test their sample to determine if it

was drug or placebo. (Imagine how desperate people with AIDS were.) The news was

out that they were able to copy AZT in every way, size of the pill, texture of

the compound, smell, look, etc. The only thing they could not copy was the

taste. So my buddy gave me a pill of known AZT. I remember very clearly seeing

it on his dresser. The little white pill with the blue stripe and my eyes

dazzled as if I was looking at the golden fleece. So this is what it looks like,

I said.

My boyfriend and I took the pill and called a few friends. That night all 4 of

us sat in a circle on the floor in my living room and emptied out one of my

capsules onto a piece of paper and then we emptied out the AZT onto a separate

piece if paper. Each of us examined the two contents and concluded they were

identical. Then we each wet a finger and took a taste first one. Then the other.

It was as bitter as can be and we all rolled up our lips and tongues. We looked

at eachother and nodded. They tasted the same. The conclusion was I had AZT from

protocol study. It saved my life.

[Guest guest]

Yes, very touching story, Doug.  I was curious to know how many others do you

personally know of that tested positive in the 80's are still around?  Also, to

what factors do you attribute your successful treatment?  You feel strongly

about AZT saving your life, but clearly it ruined others.  Why do you think

you're different?   Thanks.

 

.

 

 

From: DOUG MAN <dougman1@...>

Subject: A night to remember

cures for AIDS

Date: Monday, August 16, 2010, 3:50 PM

 

When I first tested positive it was 1985. The HIV test was brand new and AZT was

in experimental stages of development. I had a buddy (a buddy back then was

someone with AIDS who you took care of at home because no one else would care

for them. We had to take care of eachother.) who was getting AZT by

compassionate use from the manufacturer. Not being ill enough to qualify for

compassionate use I entered a protocol trial for AZT and I ran the risk of

getting a placebo.

Everyone in protocol trials wanted to know if they had the drug or placebo. Some

even bribed laboratories to chemically test their sample to determine if it was

drug or placebo. (Imagine how desperate people with AIDS were.) The news was out

that they were able to copy AZT in every way, size of the pill, texture of the

compound, smell, look, etc. The only thing they could not copy was the taste. So

my buddy gave me a pill of known AZT. I remember very clearly seeing it on his

dresser. The little white pill with the blue stripe and my eyes dazzled as if I

was looking at the golden fleece. So this is what it looks like, I said.

My boyfriend and I took the pill and called a few friends. That night all 4 of

us sat in a circle on the floor in my living room and emptied out one of my

capsules onto a piece of paper and then we emptied out the AZT onto a separate

piece if paper. Each of us examined the two contents and concluded they were

identical. Then we each wet a finger and took a taste first one. Then the other.

It was as bitter as can be and we all rolled up our lips and tongues. We looked

at eachother and nodded. They tasted the same. The conclusion was I had AZT from

protocol study. It saved my life.

[Guest guest]

That is a very touching story, I really hope he's ok now.  Having to resort to

taking medications for the rest of your life can be tough on the body.  I'm

sure back in the day people were happy that medications were advancing yet not

much was known about the virus its self.  The human body I believe is a very

wonderful tool I believe it can heal itself.  The best remedy to control your

diabetes is not with the drug Metformin, is through proper diet control and

exercise.  Same thing with HIV.  Unlike diabetes people who had HIV or AIDS

didn't know how to take proper care of themselves.  People were sharing needles

and having unprotected sex therefore they were picking up DNA strands from other

infected people and advancing the virus.  Now a days we are more educated and

knowledgable.  I don't think drugs are the answer.  If they're making you life

long they're making you live longer and keeping you sick.  But this is just my

take on the

situation.  Like I have said before I work in clinical research and I know for

a fact no pharmaceutical company is interested in a " cure " how can it be 2010

and we still don't have cures or advanced medicines?  Nope!  they're concerned

with stabalizing the condition.  Some medications I believe don't work at

all.  Back to metformin I can't tell you how many of my diabetic patients are

come here with uncontrolled blood sugar yet some are taking up to 5000 miligrams

of Metformin, all that medication does is rot your kidneys.  My 49 year old

mother in on dialysis and has neuropathy thanks to this fucking piece of shit

drug! 

 

From: DOUG MAN <dougman1@...>

Subject: A night to remember

cures for AIDS

Date: Monday, August 16, 2010, 3:50 PM

When I first tested positive it was 1985. The HIV test was brand new and AZT was

in experimental stages of development. I had a buddy (a buddy back then was

someone with AIDS who you took care of at home because no one else would care

for them. We had to take care of eachother.) who was getting AZT by

compassionate use from the manufacturer. Not being ill enough to qualify for

compassionate use I entered a protocol trial for AZT and I ran the risk of

getting a placebo.

Everyone in protocol trials wanted to know if they had the drug or placebo. Some

even bribed laboratories to chemically test their sample to determine if it was

drug or placebo. (Imagine how desperate people with AIDS were.) The news was out

that they were able to copy AZT in every way, size of the pill, texture of the

compound, smell, look, etc. The only thing they could not copy was the taste. So

my buddy gave me a pill of known AZT. I remember very clearly seeing it on his

dresser. The little white pill with the blue stripe and my eyes dazzled as if I

was looking at the golden fleece. So this is what it looks like, I said.

My boyfriend and I took the pill and called a few friends. That night all 4 of

us sat in a circle on the floor in my living room and emptied out one of my

capsules onto a piece of paper and then we emptied out the AZT onto a separate

piece if paper. Each of us examined the two contents and concluded they were

identical. Then we each wet a finger and took a taste first one. Then the other.

It was as bitter as can be and we all rolled up our lips and tongues. We looked

at eachother and nodded. They tasted the same. The conclusion was I had AZT from

protocol study. It saved my life.

[Guest guest]

Hi .

I know for a fact two people from the 80's who is still around. And I have had

the pleasure and honor of meeting them. Because of confidentiality I will not

use his name. I met him a training class I went to called " The Leadership

Training Institute " here in New York. I attended their core training during

which they review the AIDS movement from the beginning, in the late 70's, to

today. They compiled a video comparing the civil rights marches of the mid 60's

to the gay rights and then AIDS marches of the 70's & 80's. I recognized one of

the protests to be outside the federal court house in Manhattan. I was there

with my boyfriend and a lesbian friend of ours. It was 1984 and it was the first

public protest I ever went to. I mean standing in the street yelling blocking up

traffic just isn't what I was taught to do. But PWA's were desperate. We were

touring the area in Manhattan and saw the protest. Spur of the moment our friend

said " These people need our help. " and there we were yelling in the street. I

remember doing a conga line chanting " we're fighting for our lives, Hey! " In

the video at that protest was a shot of the trainer. After the video, in class I

asked him if that was him. He gave a broad smile saying it was his son. Of

course he was much younger in the video. That is when I knew he was one of our

soldiers from the ACT-UP era. I was so taken. How do you thank someone who

helped save your life? He helped all of us by forcing the government's hand. I

had a two tier trophy made for him and awarded him " Best AIDS Activist " . It

means a lot to him today and I heard he keeps it in his office where he can see

it.

The other person I know is Cleve . We should all know Cleve . He was

the lover of Harvey Milk, the SanFrancisco activist and first openly gay mayor

in the country. Cleve was the creator of the AIDS memorial quilt which has done

more to secure funding for AIDS than anything else. At world AIDS day 2009 a

local community college arranged to have Cleve speak. Interestingly it was the

college history department that made the arrangements and sponsored the event.

After the history dept. scheduled it, the school's gay student union got on

board and rallied behind the event. Again I had the chance to meet one of our

soldiers. I normally go to local candle light memorials for World AIDS Day. Last

year I had to go to the college and nothing would keep me away. I had to thank

Cleve for all he has done for me and all of us. I had another trophy made also

two tier AIDS ribbon and all. He was awarded the " Best AIDS Memorial Activist "

and I had the honor of giving it to him at a reception after he spoke. I know it

meant a lot to him because as he left he carried it in a paper shopping bag I

had brought it in and he was proud, standing up tall, shoulders back, walking

proud. He earned it. The trophy was the least we could do for him. Cleve

also helped to save my life. We all owe him a great debt.

The only other one I know of is Larry Kramer. To my knowledge Larry is still

alive and living in Connecticut. Larry is a renowned author and helped start the

Gay Men's Health Crisis (GMHC). I have not met Larry, but if I ever do I'll have

a trophy made for him too. If any of you have the chance to hear our soldiers

speak or to meet them I hope you do something special for them, like have a

trophy made for them. Their efforts have had a profound impact on the country

and AIDS and it wasn't easy for them. Like ACT-UP, they put their safety and

selves at risk for what they believed in and each of us have benefitted from

what they have done. They deserve our thanks and gratitude.

Doug

A night to remember

cures for AIDS

Date: Monday, August 16, 2010, 3:50 PM

When I first tested positive it was 1985. The HIV test was brand new and AZT

was in experimental stages of development. I had a buddy (a buddy back then was

someone with AIDS who you took care of at home because no one else would care

for them. We had to take care of eachother.) who was getting AZT by

compassionate use from the manufacturer. Not being ill enough to qualify for

compassionate use I entered a protocol trial for AZT and I ran the risk of

getting a placebo.

Everyone in protocol trials wanted to know if they had the drug or placebo.

Some even bribed laboratories to chemically test their sample to determine if it

was drug or placebo. (Imagine how desperate people with AIDS were.) The news was

out that they were able to copy AZT in every way, size of the pill, texture of

the compound, smell, look, etc. The only thing they could not copy was the

taste. So my buddy gave me a pill of known AZT. I remember very clearly seeing

it on his dresser. The little white pill with the blue stripe and my eyes

dazzled as if I was looking at the golden fleece. So this is what it looks like,

I said.

My boyfriend and I took the pill and called a few friends. That night all 4 of

us sat in a circle on the floor in my living room and emptied out one of my

capsules onto a piece of paper and then we emptied out the AZT onto a separate

piece if paper. Each of us examined the two contents and concluded they were

identical. Then we each wet a finger and took a taste first one. Then the other.

It was as bitter as can be and we all rolled up our lips and tongues. We looked

at eachother and nodded. They tasted the same. The conclusion was I had AZT from

protocol study. It saved my life.

[Guest guest]

I just mentioned Larry Kramer.The September issue of the Advocate arrived in my

mail today. On page 12 is an article about Larry Kramer. What I did not know is

that Larry was the founder of ACT-UP (the AIDS Coalition To Unleash Power) it

was the militant group of the AIDS protest movement. Apparently Larry is alive

and well. God bless him. I hope I have the honor of meeting him one day. He too

deserves a trophy.

Larry has a new web site called ActUp.org. I urge all of us to check it out. The

article says this site collects stories, accounts of AIDS atrocities and gay

rights, from around the world and translates them into 52 languages.

A night to remember

cures for AIDS

Date: Monday, August 16, 2010, 3:50 PM

When I first tested positive it was 1985. The HIV test was brand new and AZT

was in experimental stages of development. I had a buddy (a buddy back then was

someone with AIDS who you took care of at home because no one else would care

for them. We had to take care of eachother.) who was getting AZT by

compassionate use from the manufacturer. Not being ill enough to qualify for

compassionate use I entered a protocol trial for AZT and I ran the risk of

getting a placebo.

Everyone in protocol trials wanted to know if they had the drug or placebo.

Some even bribed laboratories to chemically test their sample to determine if it

was drug or placebo. (Imagine how desperate people with AIDS were.) The news was

out that they were able to copy AZT in every way, size of the pill, texture of

the compound, smell, look, etc. The only thing they could not copy was the

taste. So my buddy gave me a pill of known AZT. I remember very clearly seeing

it on his dresser. The little white pill with the blue stripe and my eyes

dazzled as if I was looking at the golden fleece. So this is what it looks like,

I said.

My boyfriend and I took the pill and called a few friends. That night all 4 of

us sat in a circle on the floor in my living room and emptied out one of my

capsules onto a piece of paper and then we emptied out the AZT onto a separate

piece if paper. Each of us examined the two contents and concluded they were

identical. Then we each wet a finger and took a taste first one. Then the other.

It was as bitter as can be and we all rolled up our lips and tongues. We looked

at eachother and nodded. They tasted the same. The conclusion was I had AZT from

protocol study. It saved my life.

[Guest guest]

Thanks, Doug.

From: DOUG MAN <dougman1@...>

Subject: A night to remember

cures for AIDS

Date: Monday, August 16, 2010, 3:50 PM

When I first tested positive it was 1985. The HIV test was brand new and AZT was

in experimental stages of development. I had a buddy (a buddy back then was

someone with AIDS who you took care of at home because no one else would care

for them. We had to take care of eachother.) who was getting AZT by

compassionate use from the manufacturer. Not being ill enough to qualify for

compassionate use I entered a protocol trial for AZT and I ran the risk of

getting a placebo.

Everyone in protocol trials wanted to know if they had the drug or placebo. Some

even bribed laboratories to chemically test their sample to determine if it was

drug or placebo. (Imagine how desperate people with AIDS were.) The news was out

that they were able to copy AZT in every way, size of the pill, texture of the

compound, smell, look, etc. The only thing they could not copy was the taste. So

my buddy gave me a pill of known AZT. I remember very clearly seeing it on his

dresser. The little white pill with the blue stripe and my eyes dazzled as if I

was looking at the golden fleece. So this is what it looks like, I said.

My boyfriend and I took the pill and called a few friends. That night all 4 of

us sat in a circle on the floor in my living room and emptied out one of my

capsules onto a piece of paper and then we emptied out the AZT onto a separate

piece if paper. Each of us examined the two contents and concluded they were

identical. Then we each wet a finger and took a taste first one. Then the other.

It was as bitter as can be and we all rolled up our lips and tongues. We looked

at eachother and nodded. They tasted the same. The conclusion was I had AZT from

protocol study. It saved my life.