A moan,

October 2, 2001

I have just had one of the most humiliating experiences of recent months at

tims school. I will admit to some fault upfront here but the humiliation is

the way I was treated rather than the incident itself.

This morning tim was soiling, he did last night too so I gave him an enema

after breakfast. Usually this means 20 minutes, huge pooh, end of soiling

and back to life. Sometimes it means wait a few hours then huge pooh end of

soiling back to life. But today it did not. Apparantly he soiled loads of

pants, was smelly, was upset, kids complaining about the smell etc, poohing

in the loo lots etc so the head decides to call me. 11am I'm at uni, in a

lecture, so phone is switched off. But the theology dept number I was given

for the school to call didn't answer, so they look at my emergency contacts

(this is where I am at fault). I didn't think this thro at all. I assumed

I would be the only person picking tim up during the day at school if ill

becoz I am only a maximum of 25 minutes away. It simply didn't occur to me

that the contacts would be called during the day. Well the first contact

works in a school, I know this but shes fine for after schol. The second

works at home and would never need to come to school but they want a second

name so she went down. Well, they called her didn't they and she was

mortified and couldn't come anyway. Eventually a message got thro to me in

my second lecture at 2.25pm. I get to school and I was made to feel 2 "

high. the head feels it isn't 'appropriate' to give tim an enema before

school. Excuse me but as his mother I think I know best the appropriateness

or not of when to give an enema, My phone was switched off all day, it

wasn't, it didn't ring and the voice mail didn't work, not her problem but

mine but no need to make me feel like the worst mother in the world for it.

I'll be calling the phone company to put it right for sure. The number I

gave them for the theology dept didn't work, again, what can I say, I passed

on a number that they gave me. And when I got him home to wash his 'soiled'

pants, by which time I was really not in a fit mood to discover this, they

were smeared, not soiled. Soiled is doing a pooh in his pants, a need to

change pants and trousers, smeared is the tell tail bits of pooh left after

a proper stinky windy. And there were 4 pairs of pants, 2 of which were

his. And yet he had apparantly exhausted the schools supply of spare

clothing. 2 pairs of spare pants for a school with 280 kids?!!

I know its stupid and probably pathetic but I came home and cried. what on

earth do I think I am doing trying to do a full time uni course with tim as

he is? 3 1/2 hours to get a message to me, he could have been seriously

ill. I shall have words with the theology secretaries becoz there are 2 of

them and someone should have been in the office at 11am. I think it was the

assumption of the head, and tims csa, that I should have known better about

giving him an enema in the morning, like they are authorities on the

workings of tims bowels. And I was really unnerved by the csa who gave the

impression of really not wanting to be there when she delivered tim to me, I

don't know if its me she has a problem with or tim, I think me, but I don't

know why unless things have been said about me that I don't know. The head

teacher even phoned his last head to talk to her about tim, and me. I think

thats what I am so mad about really, things have been said to half a dozen

people about me, about tim and I don't know whats been said. Its better

these communication glitches were found out now, when he wasn't really ill,

than if he had been, but I feel really belittled by the way I was spoken to

and how the incident was handled, and its a horrible horrible feeling, its

really made me question if I am doing the right thing, which is stupid. I

must be tired and hormonal to react so, but there you go.

sue wong

ps we have a student from south carolina on our course so I know now how

anyone from that part of the US sounds when they speak!

October 2, 2001