Jump to content
RemedySpot.com

Re: Just a whine

Rate this topic


Guest guest

Recommended Posts

In a message dated 10/31/01 11:02:27 PM Central Standard Time,

b4alltoday@... writes:

>

> told me " Kathy, you have nothing to worry about (I was worried about not

>

That is so beautiful, Kathy. And I'm sure it's true.

I guess 10 is sort of a turning point, age wise, I remember being

concerned about 's speech at that point, feeling he may have sort of

topped out with it, but he improved a great deal after that. But I won't hit

you with a wet noodle, Sara is doing great by any standard. And she has the

personality to get away with anything. Jessie

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In a message dated 10/31/01 11:02:27 PM Central Standard Time,

b4alltoday@... writes:

>

> told me " Kathy, you have nothing to worry about (I was worried about not

>

That is so beautiful, Kathy. And I'm sure it's true.

I guess 10 is sort of a turning point, age wise, I remember being

concerned about 's speech at that point, feeling he may have sort of

topped out with it, but he improved a great deal after that. But I won't hit

you with a wet noodle, Sara is doing great by any standard. And she has the

personality to get away with anything. Jessie

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In a message dated 11/1/01 12:02:27 AM Eastern Standard Time,

b4alltoday@... writes:

> oh have to share a dream I had recently. I dreamt Sara and I went to heaven

> and

> I could not find her, knowing she'll be made perfect I could not find her

>

Kathy - my dad always says that Jimmy is the perfect one.....it is the rest

of us that need some work!!

Nonetheless, I have to admit that, when all the news about cloning the Dolly

the sheep came out, I did wonder what it would be like if we could take a

non-DS cell from Jimmy (he has mosaic DS, so he has some 46 chromosome

cells), clone it, and have another child genetically identical to Jimmy, but

without the DS. Obviously a fantasy, but I did quite a bit of " wondering " in

those days....

And don't worry about comparing Sara to other kids......I think at some

point, we do that regarding ALL of our kids. I think that it's just more

conscious with our kids with DS....since the differences are so

great.....even between our own kid and other kids with DS. Our best friends

have a daughter who speaks SO well, and is SO socially appropriate.....I

frequently think " gee, I wish..... " after we get together with them. Yet,

Jimmy has strengths that she doesn't have. LOL - we joke with our friends

that if (when!?!?!?) Jimmy and Ellen get married, Ellen will do all the

talking and Jimmy will balance the checkbook!!! (hmmmmm - kind of like MY

marriage!)

So, this too, will pass. Maybe you and Sara could do a " mom and daughter "

outing together - take her to dinner and a movie, or to the zoo, or to the

mall.......I'm sure you'll gain new appreciation for all of the wonderful

things about Sara.......and not worry so much about that other stuff.

Take care,

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In a message dated 11/1/01 12:02:27 AM Eastern Standard Time,

b4alltoday@... writes:

> oh have to share a dream I had recently. I dreamt Sara and I went to heaven

> and

> I could not find her, knowing she'll be made perfect I could not find her

>

Kathy - my dad always says that Jimmy is the perfect one.....it is the rest

of us that need some work!!

Nonetheless, I have to admit that, when all the news about cloning the Dolly

the sheep came out, I did wonder what it would be like if we could take a

non-DS cell from Jimmy (he has mosaic DS, so he has some 46 chromosome

cells), clone it, and have another child genetically identical to Jimmy, but

without the DS. Obviously a fantasy, but I did quite a bit of " wondering " in

those days....

And don't worry about comparing Sara to other kids......I think at some

point, we do that regarding ALL of our kids. I think that it's just more

conscious with our kids with DS....since the differences are so

great.....even between our own kid and other kids with DS. Our best friends

have a daughter who speaks SO well, and is SO socially appropriate.....I

frequently think " gee, I wish..... " after we get together with them. Yet,

Jimmy has strengths that she doesn't have. LOL - we joke with our friends

that if (when!?!?!?) Jimmy and Ellen get married, Ellen will do all the

talking and Jimmy will balance the checkbook!!! (hmmmmm - kind of like MY

marriage!)

So, this too, will pass. Maybe you and Sara could do a " mom and daughter "

outing together - take her to dinner and a movie, or to the zoo, or to the

mall.......I'm sure you'll gain new appreciation for all of the wonderful

things about Sara.......and not worry so much about that other stuff.

Take care,

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In a message dated 11/1/01 4:42:03 AM Central Standard Time, blat@...

writes:

> Wow, Kathy, this does not sound like you! I'm really surprised that you

> believe that DS means there is something wrong and that it needs to be

> fixed! I fully believe that our kids were created with DS for a purpose

> and that heaven is full of slanty-eyed cherubs.

> Bev

HI Bev :)

I don't really think she needs to be fixed but maybe Im questioning/examing

myself on if Im doing the right stuff, maybe I need to do more..........I

accept Sara for who she is and really love it too, sass and all heehee but am

I really preparing her for the future, is there more I should be doing

etc.......stuff .....I hope Im not letting her down

Kathy mom to Sara 9

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In a message dated 11/1/01 4:42:03 AM Central Standard Time, blat@...

writes:

> Wow, Kathy, this does not sound like you! I'm really surprised that you

> believe that DS means there is something wrong and that it needs to be

> fixed! I fully believe that our kids were created with DS for a purpose

> and that heaven is full of slanty-eyed cherubs.

> Bev

HI Bev :)

I don't really think she needs to be fixed but maybe Im questioning/examing

myself on if Im doing the right stuff, maybe I need to do more..........I

accept Sara for who she is and really love it too, sass and all heehee but am

I really preparing her for the future, is there more I should be doing

etc.......stuff .....I hope Im not letting her down

Kathy mom to Sara 9

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wow, Kathy, this does not sound like you! I'm really surprised that you

believe that DS means there is something wrong and that it needs to be

fixed! I fully believe that our kids were created with DS for a purpose

and that heaven is full of slanty-eyed cherubs.

Bev

b4alltoday@... wrote: I dreamt Sara and I went to heaven and

> I could not find her, knowing she'll be made perfect I could not find

> her

> sweet chubby face, upward slanted eyes that resemble a child with ds.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wow, Kathy, this does not sound like you! I'm really surprised that you

believe that DS means there is something wrong and that it needs to be

fixed! I fully believe that our kids were created with DS for a purpose

and that heaven is full of slanty-eyed cherubs.

Bev

b4alltoday@... wrote: I dreamt Sara and I went to heaven and

> I could not find her, knowing she'll be made perfect I could not find

> her

> sweet chubby face, upward slanted eyes that resemble a child with ds.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In a message dated 11/1/01 10:34:51 AM Eastern Standard Time,

sharonhughes@... writes:

> They don't do inclusion here, it was done in the state we moved from. I

> have made my wishes known, but I already feel they are going to want her in

> self contained.

Ummmmm, Sharon......the right to be included is FEDERAL law.....it's not

something that a state has a choice about. If you think that it is most

appropriate for to be included in a regular ed classroom, then GO FOR

IT!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In a message dated 11/1/01 10:34:51 AM Eastern Standard Time,

sharonhughes@... writes:

> They don't do inclusion here, it was done in the state we moved from. I

> have made my wishes known, but I already feel they are going to want her in

> self contained.

Ummmmm, Sharon......the right to be included is FEDERAL law.....it's not

something that a state has a choice about. If you think that it is most

appropriate for to be included in a regular ed classroom, then GO FOR

IT!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

<<I hope Im not letting her down

Kathy mom to Sara 9>>

Sara couldn't have a better mom. This goes for all on this list. (and

those not :))

We wouldn't be here if we were not trying to do the best for our kids. I

have feelings of failing Ted since he is overweight. I do not over feed him

and I try but no success. It is the hardest job I have ever had to parent

Ted. He is very different and it is very different from parenting my other

2 sons. But I do the best that I can. I think you just had a moment of

being very scared. I know I have those and maybe you don't but I am guilty

of second guessing myself. I am doing this as a single parent so it is all

the more scary at times.

Gail

Link to comment
Share on other sites

<<I hope Im not letting her down

Kathy mom to Sara 9>>

Sara couldn't have a better mom. This goes for all on this list. (and

those not :))

We wouldn't be here if we were not trying to do the best for our kids. I

have feelings of failing Ted since he is overweight. I do not over feed him

and I try but no success. It is the hardest job I have ever had to parent

Ted. He is very different and it is very different from parenting my other

2 sons. But I do the best that I can. I think you just had a moment of

being very scared. I know I have those and maybe you don't but I am guilty

of second guessing myself. I am doing this as a single parent so it is all

the more scary at times.

Gail

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Kathy

I understand exactly what you are saying. turned

10 in September, and it was one of the hardest

birthdays for me that I can remember. When she turned

1, I remember celebrating because she had been so

healthy. I don't ever remember doing so much thinking,

questioning of our decisions, or second guessing ever.

I think 10 is a milestone - most decades are, I just

had my 40th. And while is doing great, and she

is beautiful, I still sometimes wonder about the what

ifs. I think that is human nature.

will soon complete her testing in our new state,

and I will receive those results. Then an IEP meeting

will be called. They don't do inclusion here, it was

done in the state we moved from. I have made my wishes

known, but I already feel they are going to want her in

self contained. Maybe I am just worrying too much, but

the whole situation also makes me want to question the

decisions we have made.

Anyway, I think you are great and Sara is wonderful,

and I always look forward to reading your posts. Just

know that what you are feeling and thinking is the same

that many others have thought and felt.

Take Care!!!

--

Sharon, Mom to (10, DS) and

(6)

> I don't really think she needs to be fixed but maybe Im questioning/examing

> myself on if Im doing the right stuff, maybe I need to do more..........I

> accept Sara for who she is and really love it too, sass and all heehee but am

> I really preparing her for the future, is there more I should be doing

> etc.......stuff .....I hope Im not letting her down

>

> Kathy mom to Sara 9

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Kathy

I understand exactly what you are saying. turned

10 in September, and it was one of the hardest

birthdays for me that I can remember. When she turned

1, I remember celebrating because she had been so

healthy. I don't ever remember doing so much thinking,

questioning of our decisions, or second guessing ever.

I think 10 is a milestone - most decades are, I just

had my 40th. And while is doing great, and she

is beautiful, I still sometimes wonder about the what

ifs. I think that is human nature.

will soon complete her testing in our new state,

and I will receive those results. Then an IEP meeting

will be called. They don't do inclusion here, it was

done in the state we moved from. I have made my wishes

known, but I already feel they are going to want her in

self contained. Maybe I am just worrying too much, but

the whole situation also makes me want to question the

decisions we have made.

Anyway, I think you are great and Sara is wonderful,

and I always look forward to reading your posts. Just

know that what you are feeling and thinking is the same

that many others have thought and felt.

Take Care!!!

--

Sharon, Mom to (10, DS) and

(6)

> I don't really think she needs to be fixed but maybe Im questioning/examing

> myself on if Im doing the right stuff, maybe I need to do more..........I

> accept Sara for who she is and really love it too, sass and all heehee but am

> I really preparing her for the future, is there more I should be doing

> etc.......stuff .....I hope Im not letting her down

>

> Kathy mom to Sara 9

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In a message dated 11/1/2001 8:48:35 AM Eastern Standard Time,

b4alltoday@... writes:

<< .I

accept Sara for who she is and really love it too, sass and all heehee but

am

I really preparing her for the future, is there more I should be doing

etc.......stuff .....I hope Im not letting her down

>>

I don't have any other kids so I don't have anything to compare it to, but I

feel that way all the time. Should I have learned and taught him more signs?

Should he be eating more of a variety of foods? Should I be stricter with

him? Should I be pushing him to toilet train? On top of it all I have some

family members who like to tell me how I SHOULD be raising him. I've come to

the conclusion that he might be further along with another mom, but he might

not be as happy, headstrong or independent as he is. It sounds like Sara's a

great person. I really believe that people who think this parenthood job is

easy probably aren't doing a very good job of it.

Kathy, Liam's mom (3 1/2)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In a message dated 11/1/2001 8:48:35 AM Eastern Standard Time,

b4alltoday@... writes:

<< .I

accept Sara for who she is and really love it too, sass and all heehee but

am

I really preparing her for the future, is there more I should be doing

etc.......stuff .....I hope Im not letting her down

>>

I don't have any other kids so I don't have anything to compare it to, but I

feel that way all the time. Should I have learned and taught him more signs?

Should he be eating more of a variety of foods? Should I be stricter with

him? Should I be pushing him to toilet train? On top of it all I have some

family members who like to tell me how I SHOULD be raising him. I've come to

the conclusion that he might be further along with another mom, but he might

not be as happy, headstrong or independent as he is. It sounds like Sara's a

great person. I really believe that people who think this parenthood job is

easy probably aren't doing a very good job of it.

Kathy, Liam's mom (3 1/2)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In a message dated 11/1/01 3:01:36 PM Central Standard Time,

sharonhughes@... writes:

> Sometimes it can be slightly intimidating when you have

> a group of " professionals " lined up telling you what

> they think is right for your child. But then, she is

> my child, and I do what I feel is right.

HI Sharon :)

Im guessing when you said they don't do Inclusion you meant that they haven't

done Inclusion lol meaning this will be a teaching road you'll have to go

down. If the professionals here had their way, all kids would be in self

contained classes, they are slowly learning how to do it successfully but it

does get frustrating when a Mom knows more than the professionals Heehee

But I do go on, buy the books, have the conferences and sell " my way " so far

this has worked. I hope when we make our big move I wont have to jump through

the hoops like you are going to have to jump through.........I will be

turning to you :)

Kathy mom to Sara 9

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In a message dated 11/1/01 3:01:36 PM Central Standard Time,

sharonhughes@... writes:

> Sometimes it can be slightly intimidating when you have

> a group of " professionals " lined up telling you what

> they think is right for your child. But then, she is

> my child, and I do what I feel is right.

HI Sharon :)

Im guessing when you said they don't do Inclusion you meant that they haven't

done Inclusion lol meaning this will be a teaching road you'll have to go

down. If the professionals here had their way, all kids would be in self

contained classes, they are slowly learning how to do it successfully but it

does get frustrating when a Mom knows more than the professionals Heehee

But I do go on, buy the books, have the conferences and sell " my way " so far

this has worked. I hope when we make our big move I wont have to jump through

the hoops like you are going to have to jump through.........I will be

turning to you :)

Kathy mom to Sara 9

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Gail,

Before amanda got diabetes i was looking into a nutritionist because she was

a little over weight. And all that I've read about people with ds and their

weight, I didnt want her to have any problems. And because all my life I

blamed my mother for my weight problems as a kid because I felt that it was

her responsibility to do something about it.

well, now 2 years later after having diabetes, amanda has grown like 3 inches

and lost like 3 pounds. She also developed this really cute teenager body.

With a waist and boobs. Well, she looks so good now, that she can even be

said to be " thin " . I look at pics of her right before she got diabetes and

she was really heavy! I cant believe how much she's changed. She even went

down a size in her jeans!!!!!

So my point is, anything is possible to do. too is a picky eater.

But we worked on it and now shes used to the foods she eats and those she

cant have. I dont really deny her anything, (like she had a piece of

Halloween candy), but its all in moderation. I still have to bring food for

her to many places because she's sooo picky!

Oh, one more thing. My son, jesse gained 17 lbs in one year! and hes only

7. so the pediatrician just took him off soda and juices. he can only have

one glass of juice a day and that includes his juice box at lunch. So now he

has a lot of water and some diet drinks. It's tough but if we have to do it

for our kids sake, well then we do!

~ mom to amanda 11 ds and jesse 7

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Gail,

Before amanda got diabetes i was looking into a nutritionist because she was

a little over weight. And all that I've read about people with ds and their

weight, I didnt want her to have any problems. And because all my life I

blamed my mother for my weight problems as a kid because I felt that it was

her responsibility to do something about it.

well, now 2 years later after having diabetes, amanda has grown like 3 inches

and lost like 3 pounds. She also developed this really cute teenager body.

With a waist and boobs. Well, she looks so good now, that she can even be

said to be " thin " . I look at pics of her right before she got diabetes and

she was really heavy! I cant believe how much she's changed. She even went

down a size in her jeans!!!!!

So my point is, anything is possible to do. too is a picky eater.

But we worked on it and now shes used to the foods she eats and those she

cant have. I dont really deny her anything, (like she had a piece of

Halloween candy), but its all in moderation. I still have to bring food for

her to many places because she's sooo picky!

Oh, one more thing. My son, jesse gained 17 lbs in one year! and hes only

7. so the pediatrician just took him off soda and juices. he can only have

one glass of juice a day and that includes his juice box at lunch. So now he

has a lot of water and some diet drinks. It's tough but if we have to do it

for our kids sake, well then we do!

~ mom to amanda 11 ds and jesse 7

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Kathy,

As you know, 10 ended up being a really hard year for amanda. But after 10

is 11 and for some reason, this is the year that she is blossming and

becoming her own little person. you know all about patience. well sara will

just teach you more patience. And of course if she doesnt go where you want

her to go, she will go where she wants to and where she is happy.

i had to let go of something that was very hard for me. I always struggled

about amanda not having friends. Well someone told me once, maybe I want

friends for amanda because I think thats the way it should be. Like i had so

many friends and how can she be happy with just one??? Well how do we know

what makes our kids happy? amanda may very well be happy with one good

friend and in fact, that may be all that she can handle.

So who are we to determine what makes our children happy and productive????

We just have to provide the opportunities and then they will decide their

life and we will sit by and ACCEPT what they do, and be happy and always know

we did our very best. Especially you. and you know that!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Kathy,

As you know, 10 ended up being a really hard year for amanda. But after 10

is 11 and for some reason, this is the year that she is blossming and

becoming her own little person. you know all about patience. well sara will

just teach you more patience. And of course if she doesnt go where you want

her to go, she will go where she wants to and where she is happy.

i had to let go of something that was very hard for me. I always struggled

about amanda not having friends. Well someone told me once, maybe I want

friends for amanda because I think thats the way it should be. Like i had so

many friends and how can she be happy with just one??? Well how do we know

what makes our kids happy? amanda may very well be happy with one good

friend and in fact, that may be all that she can handle.

So who are we to determine what makes our children happy and productive????

We just have to provide the opportunities and then they will decide their

life and we will sit by and ACCEPT what they do, and be happy and always know

we did our very best. Especially you. and you know that!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Kathy,

I HEAR YOU!! I went through that big time last year!! I was looking at

other kids with ds and seeing their strengths where Mav had weaknesses. I

was wondering if I wasn't doing enough. I was wondering if I was focusing on

the wrong areas......I even wondered if he would have done better if he were

in the self contained classroom!!

What I realized was that Mav was GREAT in some areas....and not so great in

other areas...just like the rest of my kids. I do the best that I can..and

more than many.....and I just have to accept that we are where we are because

that is where we are meant to be!!

And the HEAVEN issue....Been there done that!! My friend and I had this

discussion when our boys were 5. I stated that I didn't want Mav not to be

Mav...and if he didn't have DS that is a major part of HIM...so he was

already perfect in my eyes. (Does that make sense?) told me she felt

that when our kids went to Heaven they would still have DS because that

WAS/IS them, but with none of the problems that go with it. That

explaination suits me fine.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Kathy,

I HEAR YOU!! I went through that big time last year!! I was looking at

other kids with ds and seeing their strengths where Mav had weaknesses. I

was wondering if I wasn't doing enough. I was wondering if I was focusing on

the wrong areas......I even wondered if he would have done better if he were

in the self contained classroom!!

What I realized was that Mav was GREAT in some areas....and not so great in

other areas...just like the rest of my kids. I do the best that I can..and

more than many.....and I just have to accept that we are where we are because

that is where we are meant to be!!

And the HEAVEN issue....Been there done that!! My friend and I had this

discussion when our boys were 5. I stated that I didn't want Mav not to be

Mav...and if he didn't have DS that is a major part of HIM...so he was

already perfect in my eyes. (Does that make sense?) told me she felt

that when our kids went to Heaven they would still have DS because that

WAS/IS them, but with none of the problems that go with it. That

explaination suits me fine.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sharon,

What state are you in? You need to contact Pilot Parent, ARC,

something,,,,and get some advocates to help you.

Inclusion is a RIGHT...not a method a state or district uses....(although

they will have you believe otherwise.)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...