Social/vocational/age issues

[Guest guest]

Nina,

I didn't say anything about stereotypes or pill taking or any of that

stuff.! I was trying to relate the adult outcomes that we have been

seeing versus the vast over-optimistic dreams of parents. I have posted

many times, though not recently, that one might consider having a

'college' fund for their child with DS, as they do for their other

kids. Certainly, one of Jan's advantages is that I did spend the price

of a private college education on her post-high school development. Why

should I penalize her because of DS, because if she didn't I would have

let her go to Harvard.

Social theory is great, but one also needs to look at the reality of

similar things. I expressed that there has been a major shift among

those whose parents have gone through the transition to adult-hood. We

can no longer simply imagine our kids as the perfect employee, but have

to face the reality that they have some very difficult traits. We can

no longer look at only the positive elements of their social graces, but

also at their limits. Sure, those are the same limits we've worked on

for 25 years, but eventually we have to learn to live with them and work

to accomodate them.

The social relations .. kids from elementary school are still around for

us, although much diminished. The character of those relationships

(peer at age five) has changed to one of 'yet another supervisory person

who is loved'. My young adult does NOT want to be supervised by

everyone .. or to have everyone to be a sympathetic friend. She wants

friends she feels equal to as her primary friends. That is HER choice,

not mine.

Your mileage may vary.

Rick

[Guest guest]

Nina,

I didn't say anything about stereotypes or pill taking or any of that

stuff.! I was trying to relate the adult outcomes that we have been

seeing versus the vast over-optimistic dreams of parents. I have posted

many times, though not recently, that one might consider having a

'college' fund for their child with DS, as they do for their other

kids. Certainly, one of Jan's advantages is that I did spend the price

of a private college education on her post-high school development. Why

should I penalize her because of DS, because if she didn't I would have

let her go to Harvard.

Social theory is great, but one also needs to look at the reality of

similar things. I expressed that there has been a major shift among

those whose parents have gone through the transition to adult-hood. We

can no longer simply imagine our kids as the perfect employee, but have

to face the reality that they have some very difficult traits. We can

no longer look at only the positive elements of their social graces, but

also at their limits. Sure, those are the same limits we've worked on

for 25 years, but eventually we have to learn to live with them and work

to accomodate them.

The social relations .. kids from elementary school are still around for

us, although much diminished. The character of those relationships

(peer at age five) has changed to one of 'yet another supervisory person

who is loved'. My young adult does NOT want to be supervised by

everyone .. or to have everyone to be a sympathetic friend. She wants

friends she feels equal to as her primary friends. That is HER choice,

not mine.

Your mileage may vary.

Rick