Re: Re: having guardianship papers served

[Guest guest]

Hi Kate,

What a wonderful story about your son's comments to the judge. Imagine what

they see and hear every day...kind of makes you take pause, doesn't it?

Thanks for sharing that info about being served, too. Down here in Will County,

our attorney had served right there in the family courthouse while we

waited. It was painless. And they let us wait in a private little room until

her case was called that morning, too.

Still, kind of a depressing situation all around, right? For those of you who

are still considering whether to file for guardianship or not, be prepared for a

flood of emotion as you stand in that courtroom and have your child, in essence,

declared unable to care for him/her self. My whole life as 's mom flashed

in front of me, felt like the biggest failure on earth for not having been able

to help her more...really really a sad moment, at least for me. The only thing

that lessened my own pain was believing that she did not understand what was

being said about her, and also, of course, that like your son, likes

having me and her dad taking care of her. Most days, anyway!

Laurie

[Guest guest]

Hi Kate,

What a wonderful story about your son's comments to the judge. Imagine what

they see and hear every day...kind of makes you take pause, doesn't it?

Thanks for sharing that info about being served, too. Down here in Will County,

our attorney had served right there in the family courthouse while we

waited. It was painless. And they let us wait in a private little room until

her case was called that morning, too.

Still, kind of a depressing situation all around, right? For those of you who

are still considering whether to file for guardianship or not, be prepared for a

flood of emotion as you stand in that courtroom and have your child, in essence,

declared unable to care for him/her self. My whole life as 's mom flashed

in front of me, felt like the biggest failure on earth for not having been able

to help her more...really really a sad moment, at least for me. The only thing

that lessened my own pain was believing that she did not understand what was

being said about her, and also, of course, that like your son, likes

having me and her dad taking care of her. Most days, anyway!

Laurie

[Guest guest]

Laurie and group,

We did the guardianship thing this past April for our daughter who has

autism and Laurie's words were exactly how I felt, still do at times. I had

hoped that after 12+ years of doing ABA and advocating for her on many

different instances, that she would be better than she is now, and somehow I

failed her. Yes, she definitely made some progress and without doing ABA, we

probably wouldn't be able to keep her at home. But we had hoped so much

more for her. We go through the " grieving " process of what should have been,

on several occasions like her birthday, especially monumental ones like

her 16th bday (not being able to drive) and her 18th bday (not seeing her go

off to college), etc.

It is such a hard thing. No one truly knows unless they have been through

it. That is why I value this group so much.

Jill A. Plato

26267 Panhandle Rd.

Kane, IL 62054

217-942-6856 (home-eve)

618-498-5656 (day-work)

217-248-1117 (cell)

[Guest guest]

Laurie and group,

We did the guardianship thing this past April for our daughter who has

autism and Laurie's words were exactly how I felt, still do at times. I had

hoped that after 12+ years of doing ABA and advocating for her on many

different instances, that she would be better than she is now, and somehow I

failed her. Yes, she definitely made some progress and without doing ABA, we

probably wouldn't be able to keep her at home. But we had hoped so much

more for her. We go through the " grieving " process of what should have been,

on several occasions like her birthday, especially monumental ones like

her 16th bday (not being able to drive) and her 18th bday (not seeing her go

off to college), etc.

It is such a hard thing. No one truly knows unless they have been through

it. That is why I value this group so much.

Jill A. Plato

26267 Panhandle Rd.

Kane, IL 62054

217-942-6856 (home-eve)

618-498-5656 (day-work)

217-248-1117 (cell)

[Guest guest]

This hit home Laurie, I had someone " congratulate " me after we got guardianship

of Jack and I told her I did not feel any joy out of this. It was emotional for

us as well. They don't tell you that in the " Raising a Kid with Special Needs

Book " do they?

Sandy

Re: Re: having guardianship papers served

Hi Kate,

What a wonderful story about your son's comments to the judge. Imagine what they

see and hear every day...kind of makes you take pause, doesn't it?

Thanks for sharing that info about being served, too. Down here in Will County,

our attorney had served right there in the family courthouse while we

waited. It was painless. And they let us wait in a private little room until her

case was called that morning, too.

Still, kind of a depressing situation all around, right? For those of you who

are still considering whether to file for guardianship or not, be prepared for a

flood of emotion as you stand in that courtroom and have your child, in essence,

declared unable to care for him/her self. My whole life as 's mom flashed

in front of me, felt like the biggest failure on earth for not having been able

to help her more...really really a sad moment, at least for me. The only thing

that lessened my own pain was believing that she did not understand what was

being said about her, and also, of course, that like your son, likes

having me and her dad taking care of her. Most days, anyway!

Laurie

[Guest guest]

This hit home Laurie, I had someone " congratulate " me after we got guardianship

of Jack and I told her I did not feel any joy out of this. It was emotional for

us as well. They don't tell you that in the " Raising a Kid with Special Needs

Book " do they?

Sandy

Re: Re: having guardianship papers served

Hi Kate,

What a wonderful story about your son's comments to the judge. Imagine what they

see and hear every day...kind of makes you take pause, doesn't it?

Thanks for sharing that info about being served, too. Down here in Will County,

our attorney had served right there in the family courthouse while we

waited. It was painless. And they let us wait in a private little room until her

case was called that morning, too.

Still, kind of a depressing situation all around, right? For those of you who

are still considering whether to file for guardianship or not, be prepared for a

flood of emotion as you stand in that courtroom and have your child, in essence,

declared unable to care for him/her self. My whole life as 's mom flashed

in front of me, felt like the biggest failure on earth for not having been able

to help her more...really really a sad moment, at least for me. The only thing

that lessened my own pain was believing that she did not understand what was

being said about her, and also, of course, that like your son, likes

having me and her dad taking care of her. Most days, anyway!

Laurie

[Guest guest]

I really need to start thinking about this I guess. I told 's teacher one

day that I think he's doing so well (they do too, huge gains in high school) but

then I see the autism.......that's all I can say right now.

Have a good day all, I have a lot to sort through.

H.

Re: Re: having guardianship papers served

his hit home Laurie, I had someone " congratulate " me after we got guardianship

f Jack and I told her I did not feel any joy out of this. It was emotional for

s as well. They don't tell you that in the " Raising a Kid with Special Needs

ook " do they?

andy

----Original Message-----

rom: Jerue Family <jeruefamily@...>

o: IPADDUnite

ent: Tue, Oct 20, 2009 5:18 pm

ubject: Re: Re: having guardianship papers served

Hi Kate,

What a wonderful story about your son's comments to the judge. Imagine what they

ee and hear every day...kind of makes you take pause, doesn't it?

Thanks for sharing that info about being served, too. Down here in Will County,

ur attorney had served right there in the family courthouse while we

aited. It was painless. And they let us wait in a private little room until her

ase was called that morning, too.

Still, kind of a depressing situation all around, right? For those of you who

re still considering whether to file for guardianship or not, be prepared for a

lood of emotion as you stand in that courtroom and have your child, in essence,

eclared unable to care for him/her self. My whole life as 's mom flashed

n front of me, felt like the biggest failure on earth for not having been able

o help her more...really really a sad moment, at least for me. The only thing

hat lessened my own pain was believing that she did not understand what was

eing said about her, and also, of course, that like your son, likes

aving me and her dad taking care of her. Most days, anyway!

Laurie

[Guest guest]

I really need to start thinking about this I guess. I told 's teacher one

day that I think he's doing so well (they do too, huge gains in high school) but

then I see the autism.......that's all I can say right now.

Have a good day all, I have a lot to sort through.

H.

Re: Re: having guardianship papers served

his hit home Laurie, I had someone " congratulate " me after we got guardianship

f Jack and I told her I did not feel any joy out of this. It was emotional for

s as well. They don't tell you that in the " Raising a Kid with Special Needs

ook " do they?

andy

----Original Message-----

rom: Jerue Family <jeruefamily@...>

o: IPADDUnite

ent: Tue, Oct 20, 2009 5:18 pm

ubject: Re: Re: having guardianship papers served

Hi Kate,

What a wonderful story about your son's comments to the judge. Imagine what they

ee and hear every day...kind of makes you take pause, doesn't it?

Thanks for sharing that info about being served, too. Down here in Will County,

ur attorney had served right there in the family courthouse while we

aited. It was painless. And they let us wait in a private little room until her

ase was called that morning, too.

Still, kind of a depressing situation all around, right? For those of you who

re still considering whether to file for guardianship or not, be prepared for a

lood of emotion as you stand in that courtroom and have your child, in essence,

eclared unable to care for him/her self. My whole life as 's mom flashed

n front of me, felt like the biggest failure on earth for not having been able

o help her more...really really a sad moment, at least for me. The only thing

hat lessened my own pain was believing that she did not understand what was

eing said about her, and also, of course, that like your son, likes

aving me and her dad taking care of her. Most days, anyway!

Laurie

[Guest guest]

, Sandy, Jill and all

I, too, went into a 'funk' for awhile after guardianship proceedings and from

time to time as we've moved along thru the transition-to-work years. It's a

hard adjustment period! Right now the whole family is at a better place since

we incorporated Helper Girl, for all the work it is at least we feel some pride

and sense of accomplishment there. It provides her and me with some needed

structure to our days and weekends, and that's a really good thing when you're

living with . It's not for everyone, but it's been helping us.

And yes, Sandy, it sure would be nice if that 'book' about How to Raise a Kid

with Special Needs included a chapter about this phase of life. There was a

time when if one more well-intentioned soul had told me 'congratulations' or

'oh, transition is such an EXCITING time' I would have slugged 'em!!! Exciting

my you-know-what!!! Terrifying is more like it.

And yes, Jill, I too am so grateful for this wonderful group. Otherwise I'd be

wandering around my house muttering to myself, never a pretty picture.

Take care,

L.

[Guest guest]

, Sandy, Jill and all

I, too, went into a 'funk' for awhile after guardianship proceedings and from

time to time as we've moved along thru the transition-to-work years. It's a

hard adjustment period! Right now the whole family is at a better place since

we incorporated Helper Girl, for all the work it is at least we feel some pride

and sense of accomplishment there. It provides her and me with some needed

structure to our days and weekends, and that's a really good thing when you're

living with . It's not for everyone, but it's been helping us.

And yes, Sandy, it sure would be nice if that 'book' about How to Raise a Kid

with Special Needs included a chapter about this phase of life. There was a

time when if one more well-intentioned soul had told me 'congratulations' or

'oh, transition is such an EXCITING time' I would have slugged 'em!!! Exciting

my you-know-what!!! Terrifying is more like it.

And yes, Jill, I too am so grateful for this wonderful group. Otherwise I'd be

wandering around my house muttering to myself, never a pretty picture.

Take care,

L.

[Guest guest]

I guess having a son with Down Syndrome is different from those with autism..  I

know that will never be able to care for himself or live alone..  Every

story is different and there are no right or wrong answers here.  I was just

told that if we become Chris's guardian then we have to account for everything

we do and every penny spent.  I was offended that after all these years I had to

account to another person.  I might change this in the future, but right now we

will just leave him as his own guardian.

Shirley

From: Jerue Family <jeruefamily@...>

Subject: Re: Re: having guardianship papers served

IPADDUnite

Date: Wednesday, October 21, 2009, 3:04 PM

 

, Sandy, Jill and all

I, too, went into a 'funk' for awhile after guardianship proceedings and from

time to time as we've moved along thru the transition-to- work years. It's a

hard adjustment period! Right now the whole family is at a better place since we

incorporated Helper Girl, for all the work it is at least we feel some pride and

sense of accomplishment there. It provides her and me with some needed structure

to our days and weekends, and that's a really good thing when you're living with

. It's not for everyone, but it's been helping us.

And yes, Sandy, it sure would be nice if that 'book' about How to Raise a Kid

with Special Needs included a chapter about this phase of life. There was a time

when if one more well-intentioned soul had told me 'congratulations' or 'oh,

transition is such an EXCITING time' I would have slugged 'em!!! Exciting my

you-know-what! !! Terrifying is more like it.

And yes, Jill, I too am so grateful for this wonderful group. Otherwise I'd be

wandering around my house muttering to myself, never a pretty picture.

Take care,

L.

[Guest guest]

I guess having a son with Down Syndrome is different from those with autism..  I

know that will never be able to care for himself or live alone..  Every

story is different and there are no right or wrong answers here.  I was just

told that if we become Chris's guardian then we have to account for everything

we do and every penny spent.  I was offended that after all these years I had to

account to another person.  I might change this in the future, but right now we

will just leave him as his own guardian.

Shirley

From: Jerue Family <jeruefamily@...>

Subject: Re: Re: having guardianship papers served

IPADDUnite

Date: Wednesday, October 21, 2009, 3:04 PM

 

, Sandy, Jill and all

I, too, went into a 'funk' for awhile after guardianship proceedings and from

time to time as we've moved along thru the transition-to- work years. It's a

hard adjustment period! Right now the whole family is at a better place since we

incorporated Helper Girl, for all the work it is at least we feel some pride and

sense of accomplishment there. It provides her and me with some needed structure

to our days and weekends, and that's a really good thing when you're living with

. It's not for everyone, but it's been helping us.

And yes, Sandy, it sure would be nice if that 'book' about How to Raise a Kid

with Special Needs included a chapter about this phase of life. There was a time

when if one more well-intentioned soul had told me 'congratulations' or 'oh,

transition is such an EXCITING time' I would have slugged 'em!!! Exciting my

you-know-what! !! Terrifying is more like it.

And yes, Jill, I too am so grateful for this wonderful group. Otherwise I'd be

wandering around my house muttering to myself, never a pretty picture.

Take care,

L.

[Guest guest]

For me this was not as emotional as Neal's high school graduation, when I felt

that although he'd made a lot of progress, it was as if we'd tried to help him

leap across a canyon and he'd missed by about 5 feet.  And if you miss by 5

feet, the result is not much different than missing by 50 feet.

But we didn't file for guardianship right away, so to me there's no tie between

turning 18 and guardianship.  We dithered a bit, and were gently prodded by the

transition staff to get this done. 

After we did it, I did not have deep feelings, but thought it was a good thing

to get done, for Neal to be protected and provided for.  It was also the first

step on our checklist of guardianship, new wills for us, create Neal's trust,

and file for SSI.  So I was probably into a mindset of " What do we do next? "

-Gail

From: jillplato@... <jillplato@...>

Subject: Re: Re: having guardianship papers served

IPADDUnite

Date: Wednesday, October 21, 2009, 6:11 AM

 

Laurie and group,

We did the guardianship thing this past April for our daughter who has

autism and Laurie's words were exactly how I felt, still do at times. I had

hoped that after 12+ years of doing ABA and advocating for her on many

different instances, that she would be better than she is now, and somehow I

failed her. Yes, she definitely made some progress and without doing ABA, we

probably wouldn't be able to keep her at home. But we had hoped so much

more for her. We go through the " grieving " process of what should have been,

on several occasions like her birthday, especially monumental ones like

her 16th bday (not being able to drive) and her 18th bday (not seeing her go

off to college), etc.

It is such a hard thing. No one truly knows unless they have been through

it. That is why I value this group so much.

Jill A. Plato

26267 Panhandle Rd.

Kane, IL 62054

217-942-6856 (home-eve)

618-498-5656 (day-work)

217-248-1117 (cell)

[Guest guest]

For me this was not as emotional as Neal's high school graduation, when I felt

that although he'd made a lot of progress, it was as if we'd tried to help him

leap across a canyon and he'd missed by about 5 feet.  And if you miss by 5

feet, the result is not much different than missing by 50 feet.

But we didn't file for guardianship right away, so to me there's no tie between

turning 18 and guardianship.  We dithered a bit, and were gently prodded by the

transition staff to get this done. 

After we did it, I did not have deep feelings, but thought it was a good thing

to get done, for Neal to be protected and provided for.  It was also the first

step on our checklist of guardianship, new wills for us, create Neal's trust,

and file for SSI.  So I was probably into a mindset of " What do we do next? "

-Gail

From: jillplato@... <jillplato@...>

Subject: Re: Re: having guardianship papers served

IPADDUnite

Date: Wednesday, October 21, 2009, 6:11 AM

 

Laurie and group,

We did the guardianship thing this past April for our daughter who has

autism and Laurie's words were exactly how I felt, still do at times. I had

hoped that after 12+ years of doing ABA and advocating for her on many

different instances, that she would be better than she is now, and somehow I

failed her. Yes, she definitely made some progress and without doing ABA, we

probably wouldn't be able to keep her at home. But we had hoped so much

more for her. We go through the " grieving " process of what should have been,

on several occasions like her birthday, especially monumental ones like

her 16th bday (not being able to drive) and her 18th bday (not seeing her go

off to college), etc.

It is such a hard thing. No one truly knows unless they have been through

it. That is why I value this group so much.

Jill A. Plato

26267 Panhandle Rd.

Kane, IL 62054

217-942-6856 (home-eve)

618-498-5656 (day-work)

217-248-1117 (cell)

[Guest guest]

Shirley, I don't know about your county (I'm in Dupage), but the financial

reporting is no biggie.  I send the court the same stuff I send SSA for SSI (I

have Angel's 'stuff' on QuickBooks).

Yep, it's offensive that we have to account for every penny taking care of our

children while welfare recipients can blow the money on cigarettes and junk food

and not account for it.

From: Jerue Family <jeruefamily@ comcast.net>

Subject: Re: Re: having guardianship papers served

IPADDUnite@gro ups.com

Date: Wednesday, October 21, 2009, 3:04 PM

 

, Sandy, Jill and all

I, too, went into a 'funk' for awhile after guardianship proceedings and from

time to time as we've moved along thru the transition-to- work years. It's a

hard adjustment period! Right now the whole family is at a better place since we

incorporated Helper Girl, for all the work it is at least we feel some pride and

sense of accomplishment there. It provides her and me with some needed structure

to our days and weekends, and that's a really good thing when you're living with

. It's not for everyone, but it's been helping us.

And yes, Sandy, it sure would be nice if that 'book' about How to Raise a Kid

with Special Needs included a chapter about this phase of life. There was a time

when if one more well-intentioned soul had told me 'congratulations' or 'oh,

transition is such an EXCITING time' I would have slugged 'em!!! Exciting my

you-know-what! !! Terrifying is more like it.

And yes, Jill, I too am so grateful for this wonderful group. Otherwise I'd be

wandering around my house muttering to myself, never a pretty picture.

Take care,

L.

[Guest guest]

Shirley, I don't know about your county (I'm in Dupage), but the financial

reporting is no biggie.  I send the court the same stuff I send SSA for SSI (I

have Angel's 'stuff' on QuickBooks).

Yep, it's offensive that we have to account for every penny taking care of our

children while welfare recipients can blow the money on cigarettes and junk food

and not account for it.

From: Jerue Family <jeruefamily@ comcast.net>

Subject: Re: Re: having guardianship papers served

IPADDUnite@gro ups.com

Date: Wednesday, October 21, 2009, 3:04 PM

 

, Sandy, Jill and all

I, too, went into a 'funk' for awhile after guardianship proceedings and from

time to time as we've moved along thru the transition-to- work years. It's a

hard adjustment period! Right now the whole family is at a better place since we

incorporated Helper Girl, for all the work it is at least we feel some pride and

sense of accomplishment there. It provides her and me with some needed structure

to our days and weekends, and that's a really good thing when you're living with

. It's not for everyone, but it's been helping us.

And yes, Sandy, it sure would be nice if that 'book' about How to Raise a Kid

with Special Needs included a chapter about this phase of life. There was a time

when if one more well-intentioned soul had told me 'congratulations' or 'oh,

transition is such an EXCITING time' I would have slugged 'em!!! Exciting my

you-know-what! !! Terrifying is more like it.

And yes, Jill, I too am so grateful for this wonderful group. Otherwise I'd be

wandering around my house muttering to myself, never a pretty picture.

Take care,

L.

[Guest guest]

, I am in Du Page as well.  I just could not see a real reason to become

his guardian.  I went to a very good lawyer and covered medical guardianship. 

So, I can not see any other reason to become his guardian.  Also, he is on SSDI

not SSI, not sure if that makes any difference.  But like I said I could change

this in the future if I need to.  Shirley

From: Jerue Family <jeruefamily@ comcast.net>

Subject: Re: Re: having guardianship papers served

IPADDUnite@gro ups.com

Date: Wednesday, October 21, 2009, 3:04 PM

 

, Sandy, Jill and all

I, too, went into a 'funk' for awhile after guardianship proceedings and from

time to time as we've moved along thru the transition-to- work years. It's a

hard adjustment period! Right now the whole family is at a better place since we

incorporated Helper Girl, for all the work it is at least we feel some pride and

sense of accomplishment there. It provides her and me with some needed structure

to our days and weekends, and that's a really good thing when you're living with

. It's not for everyone, but it's been helping us.

And yes, Sandy, it sure would be nice if that 'book' about How to Raise a Kid

with Special Needs included a chapter about this phase of life. There was a time

when if one more well-intentioned soul had told me 'congratulations' or 'oh,

transition is such an EXCITING time' I would have slugged 'em!!! Exciting my

you-know-what! !! Terrifying is more like it.

And yes, Jill, I too am so grateful for this wonderful group. Otherwise I'd be

wandering around my house muttering to myself, never a pretty picture.

Take care,

L.

[Guest guest]

, I am in Du Page as well.  I just could not see a real reason to become

his guardian.  I went to a very good lawyer and covered medical guardianship. 

So, I can not see any other reason to become his guardian.  Also, he is on SSDI

not SSI, not sure if that makes any difference.  But like I said I could change

this in the future if I need to.  Shirley

From: Jerue Family <jeruefamily@ comcast.net>

Subject: Re: Re: having guardianship papers served

IPADDUnite@gro ups.com

Date: Wednesday, October 21, 2009, 3:04 PM

 

, Sandy, Jill and all

I, too, went into a 'funk' for awhile after guardianship proceedings and from

time to time as we've moved along thru the transition-to- work years. It's a

hard adjustment period! Right now the whole family is at a better place since we

incorporated Helper Girl, for all the work it is at least we feel some pride and

sense of accomplishment there. It provides her and me with some needed structure

to our days and weekends, and that's a really good thing when you're living with

. It's not for everyone, but it's been helping us.

And yes, Sandy, it sure would be nice if that 'book' about How to Raise a Kid

with Special Needs included a chapter about this phase of life. There was a time

when if one more well-intentioned soul had told me 'congratulations' or 'oh,

transition is such an EXCITING time' I would have slugged 'em!!! Exciting my

you-know-what! !! Terrifying is more like it.

And yes, Jill, I too am so grateful for this wonderful group. Otherwise I'd be

wandering around my house muttering to myself, never a pretty picture.

Take care,

L.

[Guest guest]

Shirley

 

Every person is different - thank God - and we all do what we think is best for

our child.

One of the strengths of this list is we all share experiences and no one uses a

cookie cutter solution.

 

In my experience, high functioning downs kids (HFDK) are blessed as they may or

may not need a guardian. If the person, and a lot of hfdk fall into this, can

make reasonable life decisions and function in society as they can read,

write, understand, write a check, make decisions about where to live, health

decisions, etc. I am with you -- NO GUARDIANSHIP, and especially if they want to

vote!

 

On the other hand, I am confused and need your help simply to learn.

 

I thought in Illinois there was only three kinds of guardianship - person,

estate, and person and estate.  The health care guardianship you suggest is

new...so please help me. What is it?

 

Why did you just do that for your family?

 

Humbly grateful to be your companion

on the journey...

Gordon P. Stiefel

Phone: 708 246 5151

Fax: 708 246 9144

" All great change in America

begins at the dinner table " , Reagan.

" Now more than ever, in a world all too often deprived of light and

the courage of noble ideals, it is not the time to be ashamed of the Gospel (cf.

Rom 1: 16).

Rather, it is time to preach it from the rooftops (cf. Mt 10: 27)! "

National Meeting of Young Catholics of Switzerland (2004), Address of

II

..

From: Jerue Family <jeruefamily@ comcast.net>

Subject: Re: Re: having guardianship papers served

IPADDUnite@gro ups.com

Date: Wednesday, October 21, 2009, 3:04 PM

 

, Sandy, Jill and all

I, too, went into a 'funk' for awhile after guardianship proceedings and from

time to time as we've moved along thru the transition-to- work years. It's a

hard adjustment period! Right now the whole family is at a better place since we

incorporated Helper Girl, for all the work it is at least we feel some pride and

sense of accomplishment there. It provides her and me with some needed structure

to our days and weekends, and that's a really good thing when you're living with

. It's not for everyone, but it's been helping us.

And yes, Sandy, it sure would be nice if that 'book' about How to Raise a Kid

with Special Needs included a chapter about this phase of life. There was a time

when if one more well-intentioned soul had told me 'congratulations' or 'oh,

transition is such an EXCITING time' I would have slugged 'em!!! Exciting my

you-know-what! !! Terrifying is more like it.

And yes, Jill, I too am so grateful for this wonderful group. Otherwise I'd be

wandering around my house muttering to myself, never a pretty picture.

Take care,

L.

[Guest guest]

Shirley

 

Every person is different - thank God - and we all do what we think is best for

our child.

One of the strengths of this list is we all share experiences and no one uses a

cookie cutter solution.

 

In my experience, high functioning downs kids (HFDK) are blessed as they may or

may not need a guardian. If the person, and a lot of hfdk fall into this, can

make reasonable life decisions and function in society as they can read,

write, understand, write a check, make decisions about where to live, health

decisions, etc. I am with you -- NO GUARDIANSHIP, and especially if they want to

vote!

 

On the other hand, I am confused and need your help simply to learn.

 

I thought in Illinois there was only three kinds of guardianship - person,

estate, and person and estate.  The health care guardianship you suggest is

new...so please help me. What is it?

 

Why did you just do that for your family?

 

Humbly grateful to be your companion

on the journey...

Gordon P. Stiefel

Phone: 708 246 5151

Fax: 708 246 9144

" All great change in America

begins at the dinner table " , Reagan.

" Now more than ever, in a world all too often deprived of light and

the courage of noble ideals, it is not the time to be ashamed of the Gospel (cf.

Rom 1: 16).

Rather, it is time to preach it from the rooftops (cf. Mt 10: 27)! "

National Meeting of Young Catholics of Switzerland (2004), Address of

II

..

From: Jerue Family <jeruefamily@ comcast.net>

Subject: Re: Re: having guardianship papers served

IPADDUnite@gro ups.com

Date: Wednesday, October 21, 2009, 3:04 PM

 

, Sandy, Jill and all

I, too, went into a 'funk' for awhile after guardianship proceedings and from

time to time as we've moved along thru the transition-to- work years. It's a

hard adjustment period! Right now the whole family is at a better place since we

incorporated Helper Girl, for all the work it is at least we feel some pride and

sense of accomplishment there. It provides her and me with some needed structure

to our days and weekends, and that's a really good thing when you're living with

. It's not for everyone, but it's been helping us.

And yes, Sandy, it sure would be nice if that 'book' about How to Raise a Kid

with Special Needs included a chapter about this phase of life. There was a time

when if one more well-intentioned soul had told me 'congratulations' or 'oh,

transition is such an EXCITING time' I would have slugged 'em!!! Exciting my

you-know-what! !! Terrifying is more like it.

And yes, Jill, I too am so grateful for this wonderful group. Otherwise I'd be

wandering around my house muttering to myself, never a pretty picture.

Take care,

L.

[Guest guest]

We had Angel served at home.  The deputy came about 6:30am and Angel was still

in bed!  We got her up and she just took the papers and handed them to her

Daddy.

The only negative experience with the court was in the hallway.  Angel was

getting anxious and Joe was trying to calm her down (while I had to get one form

filled out, which I didn't know was needed).  A deputy 'insisted' that Joe get

Angel calmed down and was threatening him.  She was totally clueless and

expected Joe to explain all about autism in 30 seconds.

The Judge, Judge Popejoy, (he's no longer there) was wonderful.  His court

deputy was wonderful too, she offered to run out into the hallway to get us (she

understood Angel's needs) and she was very helpful with the missing document we

had to fill out.

From: teteme55 <teteme@...>

Subject: Re: having guardianship papers served

IPADDUnite

Date: Wednesday, October 21, 2009, 10:13 AM

 

I would agree with and Laurie and Jill about the strain

and guilt and grief that comes with the whole guardianship/ SSI etc. process.

We live in Cook County and worked with a lawyer. Our lawyer suggested we have

the papers served to at school and his inclusion facilitator, speech

pathologist and social worker were with him when he was served. The folks at

school couldn't have nicer and it worked out well. His IF also told me most of

their students had the papers served at school and they tried to make it as

painless for them--and the parents--as possible

is 29 and though it was over 11 years ago, some of the stuff still makes

me sad and angry. Our lawyer told us, especially with autism, it's better to

bring the person to the guardianship hearing--if the judge actually sees the

person and his functioning- - it would go better. One of our lawyer's

assistants went with us and Chuck and I decided to take Russ out to lunch after.

We were downtown and thought it would be something fun to look forward to for

all of us.

Everything was fine in the courtroom. The judge seemed fine, Russ, who is

nonverbal, smiled and shook his hand and questions were asked, etc. and then, it

happened--the judge asked us what did. I answered he went to school and

did some custodial work and was a " facer " at a grocery store and then the judge

cut me off-- " no,no, no what does he do--does he have special talents, like

Rainman? " Chuck grabbed my hand and actually dug his fingers into my palm

because he thought I would start screaming and he would have had to bail me out

for getting thrown into jail for contempt of court! Chuck told him is

the portion of those with autism, in spite of all sort of therapies, who are

also mentally retarded (let's face it--if he thought all those with autism are

like Rainman, MR was the term to use!)and blah, blah, blah. The rest was a blur

to me.

After we left the courtroom, our lawyer's assistant APOLOGIZED! She said we were

suppose to get a different judge and their firm had never had this judge. I was

shaking and sobbing and actually stroked my hair while I cried. This was

already difficult but that judge made it worse. Chuck and I got his

's--the big guns treat for him--and went home. Both of us were stunned

that someone could be so ignorant and IN POWER.

That's my tale--wish it was a sweeter one. It certainly is a different one.

Marie

[Guest guest]

We had Angel served at home.  The deputy came about 6:30am and Angel was still

in bed!  We got her up and she just took the papers and handed them to her

Daddy.

The only negative experience with the court was in the hallway.  Angel was

getting anxious and Joe was trying to calm her down (while I had to get one form

filled out, which I didn't know was needed).  A deputy 'insisted' that Joe get

Angel calmed down and was threatening him.  She was totally clueless and

expected Joe to explain all about autism in 30 seconds.

The Judge, Judge Popejoy, (he's no longer there) was wonderful.  His court

deputy was wonderful too, she offered to run out into the hallway to get us (she

understood Angel's needs) and she was very helpful with the missing document we

had to fill out.

From: teteme55 <teteme@...>

Subject: Re: having guardianship papers served

IPADDUnite

Date: Wednesday, October 21, 2009, 10:13 AM

 

I would agree with and Laurie and Jill about the strain

and guilt and grief that comes with the whole guardianship/ SSI etc. process.

We live in Cook County and worked with a lawyer. Our lawyer suggested we have

the papers served to at school and his inclusion facilitator, speech

pathologist and social worker were with him when he was served. The folks at

school couldn't have nicer and it worked out well. His IF also told me most of

their students had the papers served at school and they tried to make it as

painless for them--and the parents--as possible

is 29 and though it was over 11 years ago, some of the stuff still makes

me sad and angry. Our lawyer told us, especially with autism, it's better to

bring the person to the guardianship hearing--if the judge actually sees the

person and his functioning- - it would go better. One of our lawyer's

assistants went with us and Chuck and I decided to take Russ out to lunch after.

We were downtown and thought it would be something fun to look forward to for

all of us.

Everything was fine in the courtroom. The judge seemed fine, Russ, who is

nonverbal, smiled and shook his hand and questions were asked, etc. and then, it

happened--the judge asked us what did. I answered he went to school and

did some custodial work and was a " facer " at a grocery store and then the judge

cut me off-- " no,no, no what does he do--does he have special talents, like

Rainman? " Chuck grabbed my hand and actually dug his fingers into my palm

because he thought I would start screaming and he would have had to bail me out

for getting thrown into jail for contempt of court! Chuck told him is

the portion of those with autism, in spite of all sort of therapies, who are

also mentally retarded (let's face it--if he thought all those with autism are

like Rainman, MR was the term to use!)and blah, blah, blah. The rest was a blur

to me.

After we left the courtroom, our lawyer's assistant APOLOGIZED! She said we were

suppose to get a different judge and their firm had never had this judge. I was

shaking and sobbing and actually stroked my hair while I cried. This was

already difficult but that judge made it worse. Chuck and I got his

's--the big guns treat for him--and went home. Both of us were stunned

that someone could be so ignorant and IN POWER.

That's my tale--wish it was a sweeter one. It certainly is a different one.

Marie

[Guest guest]

Shirley, it really depends on your child's level as far as type of guardianship

to go for.  IMO, you should also have the authority to make the financial

decisions as well.  Angel is non verbal, very child like, so we felt the whole

thing was in her best interest.

From: Jerue Family <jeruefamily@ comcast.net>

Subject: Re: Re: having guardianship papers served

IPADDUnite@gro ups.com

Date: Wednesday, October 21, 2009, 3:04 PM

 

, Sandy, Jill and all

I, too, went into a 'funk' for awhile after guardianship proceedings and from

time to time as we've moved along thru the transition-to- work years. It's a

hard adjustment period! Right now the whole family is at a better place since we

incorporated Helper Girl, for all the work it is at least we feel some pride and

sense of accomplishment there. It provides her and me with some needed structure

to our days and weekends, and that's a really good thing when you're living with

. It's not for everyone, but it's been helping us.

And yes, Sandy, it sure would be nice if that 'book' about How to Raise a Kid

with Special Needs included a chapter about this phase of life. There was a time

when if one more well-intentioned soul had told me 'congratulations' or 'oh,

transition is such an EXCITING time' I would have slugged 'em!!! Exciting my

you-know-what! !! Terrifying is more like it.

And yes, Jill, I too am so grateful for this wonderful group. Otherwise I'd be

wandering around my house muttering to myself, never a pretty picture.

Take care,

L.

[Guest guest]

Shirley, it really depends on your child's level as far as type of guardianship

to go for.  IMO, you should also have the authority to make the financial

decisions as well.  Angel is non verbal, very child like, so we felt the whole

thing was in her best interest.

From: Jerue Family <jeruefamily@ comcast.net>

Subject: Re: Re: having guardianship papers served

IPADDUnite@gro ups.com

Date: Wednesday, October 21, 2009, 3:04 PM

 

, Sandy, Jill and all

I, too, went into a 'funk' for awhile after guardianship proceedings and from

time to time as we've moved along thru the transition-to- work years. It's a

hard adjustment period! Right now the whole family is at a better place since we

incorporated Helper Girl, for all the work it is at least we feel some pride and

sense of accomplishment there. It provides her and me with some needed structure

to our days and weekends, and that's a really good thing when you're living with

. It's not for everyone, but it's been helping us.

And yes, Sandy, it sure would be nice if that 'book' about How to Raise a Kid

with Special Needs included a chapter about this phase of life. There was a time

when if one more well-intentioned soul had told me 'congratulations' or 'oh,

transition is such an EXCITING time' I would have slugged 'em!!! Exciting my

you-know-what! !! Terrifying is more like it.

And yes, Jill, I too am so grateful for this wonderful group. Otherwise I'd be

wandering around my house muttering to myself, never a pretty picture.

Take care,

L.

[Guest guest]

I think OHIO is a great state, but their probate law and Illinois Law are

different.

Remember, too, guardsianship does NOT transfer state to state.

This is yet another challenge if you plan a permanent move to a new state.

 

Illinois law as reflected on the Illinois Public Guardian Website states:

          

Guardianship is needed when a person is unable to make and communicate

responsible decisions regarding his personal care or finances due to a mental,

physical or developmental disability.

       

Two basic types of guardianship are " person guardianship " and " estate

guardianship " . 

 

The Illinois Probate Act gives the court the flexibility to tailor guardianship

to meet the needs and capabilities of disabled persons.  Depending on the

decision-making capacity of the disabled person, the court can appoint a limited

guardian who is granted the power to make only those decisions about personal

care and/or personal finances that the court specifies.  The court can also

appoint a plenary guardian who generally has the power to make all decisions

about personal care and/or finances for the disabled person.

 

We agree that a person may be able to vote -- BUT it all depends on the person's

ability!

Hence, why I added the caution as people look at this especially for higher

functioning kids, and why I am interested in the reference to the concept of a

health care guardianship as it sounds like yet another option for families and I

can't find it as I look on the web.

 

So Shirley....help! 

Humbly grateful to be your companion

on the journey...

Gordon P. Stiefel

Phone: 708 246 5151

Fax: 708 246 9144

" All great change in America

begins at the dinner table " , Reagan.

" Now more than ever, in a world all too often deprived of light and

the courage of noble ideals, it is not the time to be ashamed of the Gospel (cf.

Rom 1: 16).

Rather, it is time to preach it from the rooftops (cf. Mt 10: 27)! "

National Meeting of Young Catholics of Switzerland (2004), Address of

II

..

From: rams110300 <rams110300@...>

Subject: Re: having guardianship papers served

IPADDUnite

Date: Wednesday, October 21, 2009, 12:12 PM

 

It is very important to understand what guardianship does and does not do.

1 " ) Guardianship does not interfer with ones privlage to vote.

When I started learning about it. Someone helped me by explaining it as a way to

help/ assit a person in do things. Not taking their rights away from them.

There is a resource in Chicago worth while contacting:

the Illinois Guardianship and Advocacy Commission

http://gac.state. il.us/

DuPage Family Disability Network has had them come out several times for

information sessions.

As well as S at her church.

" If you have a guardian you still have the right to vote! Having a guardian does

not take away your right to vote. www.sos.state. oh.us/SOS/ Upload/publicati

ons/.../rightToV ote.pdf - "

2.) Typically Plenarary, Guardianship of the Person is what is sought for

persons with disabilities, which covers medical and most finacial.

3.) Estate, Person and Estate, If an individual whom you ave seaking

guardianship for has assets under $10,000 and only receives SSI with you as the

Representive payee, or if you already have establish a spesial needs trust there

should be no need for a guardianship of estate. (There is info on the site

http://gac.state. il.us/.)

I hope you find this info helpful. I DID.

I was able to call them when I ran in to areas I needed clairification.

RA

>

> From: Jerue Family <jeruefamily@ comcast.net>

>

> Subject: Re: Re: having guardianship papers served

>

> IPADDUnite@gro ups.com

>

> Date: Wednesday, October 21, 2009, 3:04 PM

>

>  

>

> , Sandy, Jill and all

>

> I, too, went into a 'funk' for awhile after guardianship proceedings and from

time to time as we've moved along thru the transition-to- work years. It's a

hard adjustment period! Right now the whole family is at a better place since we

incorporated Helper Girl, for all the work it is at least we feel some pride and

sense of accomplishment there. It provides her and me with some needed structure

to our days and weekends, and that's a really good thing when you're living with

. It's not for everyone, but it's been helping us.

>

> And yes, Sandy, it sure would be nice if that 'book' about How to Raise a Kid

with Special Needs included a chapter about this phase of life. There was a time

when if one more well-intentioned soul had told me 'congratulations' or 'oh,

transition is such an EXCITING time' I would have slugged 'em!!! Exciting my

you-know-what! !! Terrifying is more like it.

>

> And yes, Jill, I too am so grateful for this wonderful group. Otherwise I'd be

wandering around my house muttering to myself, never a pretty picture.

>

> Take care,

>

> L.

>

>