Re: Back to Dorothy

[Guest guest]

Thanks for your kind understanding. This is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. It's really just a lose/lose situation. The winter weather up here is killing me, and the summers here where I live in IL aren't that much different than the summers where I was in Texas......the humidity here can be high. And the worst part.......separation from my "real" family. I know some of you think that sounds horrible but, I had lived in Texas since 1986. I don't even really know my brother's children anymore...... and it's a shame. When I lived up here when my children were small, they were all the best of friends.......we all got together every Friday and Saturday night and spent all day Sunday at my parents house. But once we moved, with everybody's busy lives, we just didn't see each other very often. My brother only came to Texas 2 times the whole 21 years; once when his children were still at home and

once just him and his wife. We came up maybe 5 times. We just couldn't afford it and once my children were in middle school and high school, school functions - band (which pretty much takes over your life), drill team, flag corp, etc...... they had very little free time.But my move up here canceled all my tests down there (it was time for my 6 month check to see if my nodules were growing on my lungs, thyroid, and lymph nodes in my neck and possibly cancer). I would have been through all the tests and had the results at a doc appt Dec 26th. Here, I can't even get in to the ENT and pulmonologist until Jan 29th........then they'll schedule the tests, then the appts for the results.........so I'm looking at probably February. And I have to sit here basically alone (all my family up here works, I've been here a month and have seen them just a handful of times). I sit in my place all day alone, living an hour away

from anything - and I've never lived in the country before....... I like my Target and WalMart 2 blocks away!!!! I just feel when I need to be with my daughters the most, I'm not.So, I cry, I pray, and I worry. I want to know if I have cancer. It would be one more thing to add to my long list of ailments. And I want to know (if I do have it) what I have to do, if it's treatable, can be cured, etc. I'm sure I'll adjust, it's just going to take time. It hurts that my grandson (now 22 months old and I've lived with them since he was born) will forget me. When I first left, he would go to my room looking for me, calling me maamaw (not sure how to spell it - the first part rhymes with with baa (like the sheep)!!! My daughter has now converted the room into a home office and he no longer is looking. It hurts. Just not a good time for me.Take Care, Take Care, B. in ILLINOIS

[Guest guest]

Im sorry ;; I hope being in this group will help some;; there are so many great & caring folks here;; I know that it has to be very frustrating for you also to have to wait for all the tests; Try to keep up your faith that all will go well with it all;; & to not being able to see your g baby;; & kids;;Tell your daughter to keep showing pictures of you & he wont forget you;; the little ones remember more then we know;;Does he call you me maw?? that is what my sis-in-law.s great grand kids call her;; That is southern;;I have a little 13 mo old great grandson & he calls me nana;;my youngest grand child is 16..you just vent whenever you want to;; that is why we are all here to help each other when we can;; Sometimes we are too sick to be on line;;You take care Prayers;;Luv & Hugs Dort B <muttsmom55@...> wrote: Thanks for your kind understanding. This is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. It's really just a lose/lose situation. The winter weather up here is killing me, and the summers here where I live in IL aren't that much different than the summers where I was in Texas......the humidity here can be high. And the worst part.......separation from my "real" family. I know some of you think that sounds horrible but, I had lived in Texas since 1986. I don't even really know my brother's children anymore...... and it's a shame. When I lived up here when my children

were small, they were all the best of friends.......we all got together every Friday and Saturday night and spent all day Sunday at my parents house. But once we moved, with everybody's busy lives, we just didn't see each other very often. My brother only came to Texas 2 times the whole 21 years; once when his children were still at home and once just him and his wife. We came up maybe 5 times. We just couldn't afford it and once my children were in middle school and high school, school functions - band (which pretty much takes over your life), drill team, flag corp, etc...... they had very little free time.But my move up here canceled all my tests down there (it was time for my 6 month check to see if my nodules were growing on my lungs, thyroid, and lymph nodes in my neck and possibly cancer). I would have been through all the tests and had the results at a doc appt Dec 26th. Here, I can't even get in to

the ENT and pulmonologist until Jan 29th........then they'll schedule the tests, then the appts for the results.........so I'm looking at probably February. And I have to sit here basically alone (all my family up here works, I've been here a month and have seen them just a handful of times). I sit in my place all day alone, living an hour away from anything - and I've never lived in the country before....... I like my Target and WalMart 2 blocks away!!!! I just feel when I need to be with my daughters the most, I'm not.So, I cry, I pray, and I worry. I want to know if I have cancer. It would be one more thing to add to my long list of ailments. And I want to know (if I do have it) what I have to do, if it's treatable, can be cured, etc. I'm sure I'll adjust, it's just going to take time. It hurts that my grandson (now 22 months old and I've lived with them since he was born) will forget me.

When I first left, he would go to my room looking for me, calling me maamaw (not sure how to spell it - the first part rhymes with with baa (like the sheep)!!! My daughter has now converted the room into a home office and he no longer is looking. It hurts. Just not a good time for me.Take Care, Take Care, B. in ILLINOIS

[Guest guest]

Thank you Dorothy............. you are truly a kind person. Take Care, DOROTHY PETERSON <peterson.dorothy@...> wrote: Im sorry ;; I hope being in this group will help some;; there are so many great & caring folks here;; I know that it has to be very frustrating for you also to have to wait for all the tests; Try to keep up your faith that all will go well with it all;; & to not being able to see your g baby;; & kids;;Tell your daughter to keep showing pictures of you & he wont forget you;; the little ones

remember more then we know;;Does he call you me maw?? that is what my sis-in-law.s great grand kids call her;; That is southern;;I have a little 13 mo old great grandson & he calls me nana;;my youngest grand child is 16..you just vent whenever you want to;; that is why we are all here to help each other when we can;; Sometimes we are too sick to be on line;;You take care Prayers;;Luv & Hugs Dort B <muttsmom55 > wrote: Thanks for your kind understanding. This is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. It's really just a lose/lose situation. The winter weather up here is killing me, and the summers here where I live in IL aren't that much different than the summers where I was in Texas......the humidity here can be high. And the worst

part.......separation from my "real" family. I know some of you think that sounds horrible but, I had lived in Texas since 1986. I don't even really know my brother's children anymore...... and it's a shame. When I lived up here when my children were small, they were all the best of friends.......we all got together every Friday and Saturday night and spent all day Sunday at my parents house. But once we moved, with everybody's busy lives, we just didn't see each other very often. My brother only came to Texas 2 times the whole 21 years; once when his children were still at home and once just him and his wife. We came up maybe 5 times. We just couldn't afford it and once my children were in middle school and high school, school functions - band (which pretty much takes over your life), drill team, flag corp, etc...... they had very little free time.But my move up here canceled

all my tests down there (it was time for my 6 month check to see if my nodules were growing on my lungs, thyroid, and lymph nodes in my neck and possibly cancer). I would have been through all the tests and had the results at a doc appt Dec 26th. Here, I can't even get in to the ENT and pulmonologist until Jan 29th........then they'll schedule the tests, then the appts for the results.........so I'm looking at probably February. And I have to sit here basically alone (all my family up here works, I've been here a month and have seen them just a handful of times). I sit in my place all day alone, living an hour away from anything - and I've never lived in the country before....... I like my Target and WalMart 2 blocks away!!!! I just feel when I need to be with my daughters the most, I'm not.So, I cry, I pray, and I worry. I want to know if I have cancer. It would be one more thing to add to my long

list of ailments. And I want to know (if I do have it) what I have to do, if it's treatable, can be cured, etc. I'm sure I'll adjust, it's just going to take time. It hurts that my grandson (now 22 months old and I've lived with them since he was born) will forget me. When I first left, he would go to my room looking for me, calling me maamaw (not sure how to spell it - the first part rhymes with with baa (like the sheep)!!! My daughter has now converted the room into a home office and he no longer is looking. It hurts. Just not a good time for me.Take Care, Take Care, B. in ILLINOIS Take Care, B. in ILLINOIS

[Guest guest]

YOU ARE VERY WELCOME ;;CINDY;; ANYTIME IM ABLE TO HELP I WILL;; THANKS FOR SAYING THAT ABOUT ME ALSO;; I LOVE PEOPLE & TRY TO TREAT THEM THE WAY I LIKE TO BE TREATED BUT I SURE AINT PERFECT;;LOL;; SINCE I HAVE BEEN IN THIS GROUP I HAVE SEEN SO MANY WHO HAVE SO MUCH MORE WRONG THEN I DO;;SO I TRY TO REMEMBER THAT WHEN IM HURTING ;;YOU TAKE CARE TOO LUV & HUGS DORT B <muttsmom55@...> wrote: Thank you Dorothy............. you are truly a kind person. Take Care, DOROTHY

PETERSON <peterson.dorothysbcglobal (DOT) net> wrote: Im sorry ;; I hope being in this group will help some;; there are so many great & caring folks here;; I know that it has to be very frustrating for you also to have to wait for all the tests; Try to keep up your faith that all will go well with it all;; & to not being able to see your g baby;; & kids;;Tell your daughter to keep showing pictures of you & he wont forget you;; the little ones remember more then we know;;Does he call you me maw?? that is what my sis-in-law.s great grand kids call her;; That is southern;;I have a little 13 mo old great grandson & he calls me nana;;my youngest grand child is 16..you just vent whenever you want to;; that is why we are all here to help each other when we can;; Sometimes we are too sick to be on line;;You take care

Prayers;;Luv & Hugs Dort B <muttsmom55 > wrote: Thanks for your kind understanding. This is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. It's really just a lose/lose situation. The winter weather up here is killing me, and the summers here where I live in IL aren't that much different than the summers where I was in Texas......the humidity here can be high. And the worst part.......separation from my "real" family. I know some of you think that sounds horrible but, I had lived in Texas since 1986. I don't even really know my brother's children anymore...... and it's a shame. When I lived up here when my children were small, they were all the best of friends.......we all got together every Friday and Saturday night and spent all

day Sunday at my parents house. But once we moved, with everybody's busy lives, we just didn't see each other very often. My brother only came to Texas 2 times the whole 21 years; once when his children were still at home and once just him and his wife. We came up maybe 5 times. We just couldn't afford it and once my children were in middle school and high school, school functions - band (which pretty much takes over your life), drill team, flag corp, etc...... they had very little free time.But my move up here canceled all my tests down there (it was time for my 6 month check to see if my nodules were growing on my lungs, thyroid, and lymph nodes in my neck and possibly cancer). I would have been through all the tests and had the results at a doc appt Dec 26th. Here, I can't even get in to the ENT and pulmonologist until Jan 29th........then they'll schedule the tests, then the appts for the

results.........so I'm looking at probably February. And I have to sit here basically alone (all my family up here works, I've been here a month and have seen them just a handful of times). I sit in my place all day alone, living an hour away from anything - and I've never lived in the country before....... I like my Target and WalMart 2 blocks away!!!! I just feel when I need to be with my daughters the most, I'm not.So, I cry, I pray, and I worry. I want to know if I have cancer. It would be one more thing to add to my long list of ailments. And I want to know (if I do have it) what I have to do, if it's treatable, can be cured, etc. I'm sure I'll adjust, it's just going to take time. It hurts that my grandson (now 22 months old and I've lived with them since he was born) will forget me. When I first left, he would go to my room looking for me, calling me maamaw (not sure how to spell it - the

first part rhymes with with baa (like the sheep)!!! My daughter has now converted the room into a home office and he no longer is looking. It hurts. Just not a good time for me.Take Care, Take Care, B. in ILLINOIS Take Care, B. in ILLINOIS

[Guest guest]

Hello If you're just sitting around alone waiting for the appointment, how about just waiting in the Doctor's waiting room and seeing if they can squeeze you in between appointments.   It's kinda like flying on standby, you may not get in right away but usually you'll get in sometime during the day.   That's how I got in to see the Doctors when I had CHF, when I called, they were scheduling appointments a month away so I just went into the waiting room and waited till they could see me.   Also, have you called the local metro or public transportation department, most would have a van service for the handicapped, I'm sure that if you explained that you needed assistance to get in to see a Doctor, they could arrange to pick you up and take you there.   It would take longer because you would have to wait for the van, wait for the Doctor, then call for the van and wait again for the van but that cold get you in to see the Doctor before Jan. 29th.   It would also demonstrate a little independence to your family so they won't try and dictate where you should be so much.The nodules on your Thyroid reminds me of something my sister said when she came back from her last medical conference (she's a Doctor).   She was saying that they are finding that iodised salt hasn't been enough to meet dietary iodine requirements simply because the iodine evaporates from the salt while in the salt shaker and there are few standards regarding how the salt are infused with iodine.   The end result is that everyone thought the iodine deficiency issue had been solved decades ago but it never really was.Regards,On Dec 17, 2007, at 4:07 PM, B wrote:Thanks for your kind understanding.  This is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.  It's really just a lose/lose situation.  The winter weather up here is killing me, and the summers here where I live in IL aren't that much different than the summers where I was in Texas......the humidity here can be high.  And the worst part.......separation from my "real" family.   I know some of you think that sounds horrible but, I had lived in Texas since 1986.  I don't even really know my brother's  children anymore...... and it's a shame.  When I lived up here when my children were small, they were all the best of friends.......we all got together every Friday and Saturday night and spent all day Sunday at my parents house.  But once we moved, with everybody's busy lives, we just didn't see each other very often.   My brother only came to Texas 2 times the whole 21 years; once when his children were still at home and once just him and his wife.  We came up maybe 5 times.   We just couldn't afford it and once my children were in middle school and high school, school functions - band (which pretty much takes over your life), drill team, flag corp, etc...... they  had very little free time.But my move up here canceled all my tests down there (it was time for my 6 month check to see if my nodules were growing on my lungs, thyroid, and lymph nodes in my neck and possibly cancer).  I would have been through all the tests and had the results at a doc appt Dec 26th.  Here, I can't even get in to the ENT and pulmonologist until Jan 29th........then they'll schedule the tests, then the appts for the results.........so I'm looking at probably February.   And I have to sit here basically alone (all my family up here works, I've been here a month and have seen them just a handful of times).  I sit in my place all day alone, living an hour away from anything - and I've never lived in the country before....... I like my Target and WalMart 2 blocks away!!!!  I just feel when I need to be with my daughters the most, I'm not.So, I cry, I pray, and I worry.  I want to know if I have cancer.  It would be one more thing to add to my long list of ailments.  And I want to know (if I do have it) what I have to do, if it's treatable, can be cured, etc.  I'm sure I'll adjust, it's just going to take time.  It hurts that my grandson (now 22 months old and I've lived with them since he was born) will forget me.  When I first left, he would go to my room looking for me, calling me maamaw (not sure how to spell it - the first part rhymes with with baa (like the sheep)!!!   My daughter has now converted the room into a home office and he no longer is looking.  It hurts.  Just not a good time for me.Take Care, Take Care, B. in ILLINOIS

[Guest guest]

I had not thought of that!!! Thank you for mentioning it, I'm sure you're

right. Whew, I feel better about that situation at least. I should have known

that, it's in the book and they tell us that. I obviously just wasn't thinking.

Take Care,

B. in TEXAS

________________________________

From: Dorothy Ratz <dotratz@...>

Stimulator

Sent: Wednesday, January 7, 2009 8:43:32 AM

Subject: Re: Back to /All

,

There is a possibility that your SCS didn't work in the hospital because of

interference from some of the hospital medical equipment. They generally ask

that you not use a cell phone in the hospital because it could cause

interference.

Dorothy

[Guest guest]

,

I think that under the circumstances you had a few more important things on your

mind. My prayers are with your son inlaw for his full recovery

Dorothy

[Guest guest]

Thank you Dorothy and yes, you are right.

Take Care,

B. in TEXAS

________________________________

From: Dorothy Ratz <dotratz@...>

Stimulator

Sent: Wednesday, January 7, 2009 12:18:48 PM

Subject: Re: Back to Dorothy

,

I think that under the circumstances you had a few more important things on your

mind. My prayers are with your son inlaw for his full recovery

Dorothy

[Guest guest]

How does the doctor refill your pain pump? That is probably a stupid question,

but I have been wondering since the first time someone mentioned it on here.

Take Care,

B. in TEXAS

________________________________

From: Dorothy Ratz <dotratz@...>

Stimulator

Sent: Wednesday, January 7, 2009 5:20:53 PM

Subject: Re: (unknown)

,

I think that everyone here basically knows that my experiences with the pump

have been terrific. When I received my pump, 16 years ago, my doctor at that

time said that although he felt the SCS worked extremely well for upper

extremity pain but that it was his exerience that it did not give long lasting

relief for lower extremity pain. He said that although it would work initially,

that in too many cases that relief did not last long term.

I have only made one trip to the ER in all these years and was treated very

well. I think the doctor figured that if I had enough pain that I required a

pump that I was not drug seeking. I explained what caused my pain to elevate and

that my doctor was not available for added pain control. I was given an

injection and sent on my way. The doctor knew that my pain was severe enough

that she never even attempted to touch my legs and in fact ordered that nobody

touch my feet or legs.

As a whole I would say that my pain levels are at about a 2-3, sometimes less

sometimes a bit more. I have oral meds available but average about 2 per month.

Dorothy

[Guest guest]

,

There are no stupid questions. There is a port in the pump, just under the skin,

it is accessed by needle. Any old medicine is removed and then new meds

injected. Sounds a lot worse than it truely is.

My pump is implanted in my abdomen, just below my waist. There is not a whole

lot of feeling in the skin there, plus there is the scar tissue from the pump

implant.

I have the newer pump which is much larger than the old versions and I only have

to be refilled about every 3 1/2-4 months. I am receiving Fentanyl & Bupivicaine

in my pump.

Dorothy

[Guest guest]

Hi, ....

There are NEVER stupid questions here, hon. The only question that doesn't

make sense in this group...is the one that was never asked.

I am glad that you caught up with Dorothy, . She is a long time pain

patient, like myself. She has good ideas and always shares them with others.

I don't know about Dorothy's pump...but for me...I had the PM refill my pump

via a syringe into the pump. It is a needle that you really, honestly

hardly feel going into the chamber of the pump to refill it. My pump was in my

abdomen. I had this pump refilled every three months with Baclofen, Morphine

and Bubivicaine. Unfortunatley, my pump did not work as well for me as

Dorothy's did for her. I had major malfunctions with mine, causing me to have

it

removed. I really do wish that I still had it in though, since it was such a

better route for meds.

I am so glad that it works so well for you, Dorothy! That is great to hear

and for others to hear also! I truly hope that it continues to keep your

pain away.

I think that Dorothy makes a really good point about the ER trip for those

of us who have stims and pumps. Most ER Docs know that you HAVE to be in pain

to have these in your body, so maybe that is why some of us do not have

major issues with the ER. Unfortunately, there are still some docs out there

that just don't believe in any form of pain management, or chronic pain

issues...and if we run into them....well...we know the outcome.

I have two stims...one for my arms and one for my legs. My left leg is the

worst RSD I have had to date in 26 years. The stim does help my right leg a

great deal though. My first stim for my arms was implanted 15 years ago.

The second one was about 5 years ago. If it were not for my severity of my

left leg, the stims would do the trick, but unfortunatley, nothing seems to

help.

Hang in, !

Love,

Kathy

Group Co-Owner

**************New year...new news. Be the first to know what is making

headlines. (http://www.aol.com/?ncid=emlcntaolcom00000026)

[Guest guest]

That would sure beat having to go in every month like I do now because I wear

the patch. If my pain level doesn't get better, I just might check in to this.

I know my pain mgt doctor does them.

Take Care,

B. in TEXAS

________________________________

From: Dorothy Ratz <dotratz@...>

Stimulator

Sent: Wednesday, January 7, 2009 8:55:45 PM

Subject: Re: back to Dorothy

,

There are no stupid questions. There is a port in the pump, just under the skin,

it is accessed by needle. Any old medicine is removed and then new meds

injected. Sounds a lot worse than it truely is.

My pump is implanted in my abdomen, just below my waist. There is not a whole

lot of feeling in the skin there, plus there is the scar tissue from the pump

implant.

I have the newer pump which is much larger than the old versions and I only have

to be refilled about every 3 1/2-4 months. I am receiving Fentanyl & Bupivicaine

in my pump.

Dorothy

[Guest guest]

Dorothy, you don't know my friends. They are a partying bunch!!!! I went to HS

in Germany, and it was legal to drink over there at our age.....and we did!!

I'm ashamed to say we did it all the time, everytime we went out.....we were

drinking dancing fools!!!! Any they expect it to be just like that. They would

bug me the entire time to get out there and dance and " one drink won't hurt

you " . It would be a disaster. If this was a family function, it would be

different, of course I'd go. But I know my friends. And they are all

successful (noone has lost a job), healthy people. I had 100 people in my

graduating class (very small high school). The only one who has passed away is

a girl who had a cancerous brain tumor which was found when she was a junior.

She came back to the states but returned for our senior year and graduated with

us. She died about 4 months after graduation. The rest are all still around.

And yes, you're right, some may

have some problems, but my group of about 20 friends are all doing well and

since the reunion is in San and they all knew I lived in Texas, they all

thought we'd have a big get together and celebrate our time in Germany. But the

things they are wanting to do, I CAN'T do. I don't fly and I can't drive the 5

1/2 hours to San (I'd be in bed for days). One of my closest friends

from there called me yesterday and we talked for about 2 hours. She, I think,

finally understands. And she even told me if it were her in my situation, she

wouldn't go either. She told me she's going to try to get everyone else to lay

off.

My scs has improved my life, but I still can't stand or sit for more than 15

minutes without my pain level going up. So being at a reunion is not exactly a

place I would want to be or could be. I need to be able to lay down. Even at

my doctor appts, they know this and I always get called back to a room where I

can lay down if I need to. No, my party days are over.

Take Care,

B. in TEXAS

________________________________

From: Dorothy Ratz <dotratz@...>

Stimulator

Sent: Monday, March 16, 2009 12:19:09 PM

Subject: Re: back to Kathy

,

No, life isn't fair, but it could be a lot worse. You don't have to look far to

find someone a lot worse off than you are. Look at your son inlaw. Was what

happened to him " fair " ? In todays economy some of your classmates may have lost

their jobs, their homes or whatever. Some may be in the throes of depression.

Some may have their health but have lost someone they dearly loved, a child,

grandchild, etc.

Just because you don't drink and can't dance doesn't mean you can't put a smile

on your face and mingle with old friends and thoroughly enjoy your evening and

possibly put a smile on someone elses face.

Just because you don't know of anyone else in your class who has chronic pain

doesn't mean that they are all free of problems.

Even though I have chronic pain I know that I am a lot better off than some of

my classmates, I am alive and not all of them are. Some are suffering from

terminal cancer and their pain is not considered chronic.

Dorothy