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Re: I know you understand

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In a message dated 7/4/01 7:03:11 PM Central Daylight Time, linman42@...

writes:

> For many years, I've wondered where all my friends that have kids are. How

> come we dont keep in touch? But now I understand. I know that our life-

> time

> friendships are going to be formed at the Suaree and other places where we

> all just come together without the words.

Morning :)

Yes I do agree :) my friendships here are mainly with family members, I still

have two close friendships which started more than 20 years back......they

have adult children now who have totally disappointed them, so Sara is a

breath of fresh air :)

Most of my relationships here are somehow connected with Sara.......Ive met

some great folks through her and count myself blessed. Casey, Sara's buddy

has been running errands with me lately and she commented the other day on

how everyone in our area knows Sara.......this impressed her Heehee

popularity is BIG at this age lol

But I can say this too, I have no support system in place except for

this List and the wonderful people who " understand " my little one.....by the

way she's been great this week with all of her aunts, uncle, cousins in town

:) Casey has kept her busy too since Ive had her also YIPPEE

All go home tomorrow morning and then we head to the Lake for some R & R :)

Kathy mom to Sara 9

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It's the old " birds of a feather " thing, . There are many things in

life one cannot understand until one lives through it. For example, I had no

idea what losing a spouse was like until I lost mine. I had no idea what I

put my parents through when I was a teenager until I had teens of my own.

The list goes on forever. That's why this list is so invaluable to us all.

Hugs,

granny

---

" Setting a good example for your children

takes all the fun out of middle age. "

-- Feather

http://www.bspyle.com/granny.html

I know you understand

> Hi,

> Forgive me for this email, but I have been thinking alot and here it goes.

>

> Today, we were on an escalator. really doesn't do well on

escalators.

> So I had to hold her hand and tell her to 'step' to get on. Now I know

that

> some of you understand and I dont need to explain this or some other

everyday

> thing that the rest of the world takes for granted. If it's not the

> escalator, then it's something else, not getting in the car, not being

able

> to do the top button of the jeans or the zipper or the seat belt, or not

> being able to cut, or use utensils, whatever it is for each one of us.

>

> And know I think I understand. Going to the Suaree (and here comes the

part

> to forgive me for), I realized that the reality for my family is the

Suaree.

> I think that we all understand each other and we don't need many words to

> explain it. And that the people we meet at places like the Suaree or the

> Buddy Walks that will be happening nation- wide soon, just understand. I

> even think my 7 year old son nds, understands more because he see other

> siblings in his situation and I think he thinks he's all alone. But now I

> know he understands.

>

> For many years, I've wondered where all my friends that have kids are.

How

> come we dont keep in touch? But now I understand. I know that our

life-time

> friendships are going to be formed at the Suaree and other places where we

> all just come together without the words.

>

> ~ who has a group photo from the Suaree as my 'wallpaper' on my

desktop,

> mom to 10 (almost 11) DS and 7

>

> Click reply to all for messages to go to the list. Just hit reply for

messages to go to the sender of the message.

>

>

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linman42@... writes:

>And know I think I understand. Going to the Suaree (and here comes the

>part

>to forgive me for), I realized that the reality for my family is the

>Suaree.

>I think that we all understand each other and we don't need many words to

>explain it. And that the people we meet at places like the Suaree or the

>Buddy Walks that will be happening nation- wide soon, just understand. I

>even think my 7 year old son nds, understands more because he see other

>siblings in his situation and I think he thinks he's all alone. But now

>I

>know he understands.

Hi!

When it comes down to it, it's nice to share time with folks with whom

there is a commonality. This is especially true when the area of

commonality affects or effects a smaller segment of the population such as

being the parent of a child with Down Syndrome. I love the friends I have

made on this list and they are able to understand parts of my life (the

Ben parts) that others cannot. I love my friends who are behavior

analysts because we can discuss fun stuff like contingency mangement,

antecedent control, stimulus equivalence... I love my Deadhead friends

because we can share music, go to shows together, discuss why 77 was a

better year for the Dead than 79... I love my left wing friends because

we can get together and bitch about social injustice and protecting the

environment... I think what makes these folks special is that the area of

commonality results in an almost family like bond which transcends time.

Other friends may come and go but these groups of friends are forever

special and instantly familiar even if we don't see these individuals very

often. Just a semi-profound series of thoughts and my humble opinion.

:-)

Take Care All!

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,

I agree. We find a commonality that links us and we are truly friends. I

know that people on this list can understand the frustration of having to

still make sure my 14 yo has not wandered off or that she has to wear elastic

banded pants cause she cannot grasp that button on jeans. I also know these

people will understand my excitement when I tell them how she looked both

ways before crossing the street and stopped for a car to pass and other

things that many take for granted. I am grateful to have this group for

support, encouragement and sharing. My parents are both gone and my family

now lives far away so this group is good for me.

Kathy

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I know we all understand when we are excited when our child spills jelly all

over the floor because he/she has learned to open the JAR!!

When they have a friend over or go to a friends house.

When being able to say MOM or DAD is a major event and we celebrate with our

family and our online friends.

When just standing up is such an occasion that we shut it to the roof tops.

Yes, we UNDERSTAND and rejoice in each others happiness and our children

accomplishments.

We share tears and laughter.

We see that sometimes it is awesome to just watch them sleep and know that

they are just kids.

We sneak into there rooms at night and cry just because.

Okay time to dry my eyes and get the house cleaned because if nothing else

their sure know how to make a mess and not clean it up. Now that is a very

typical thing LOL

Jeannette

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I always tell people that I live in two worlds. The " non-ds " world is very

demanding and very exact, it expects a lot and asks a lot from me. Then

there is my Down syndrome world, it is more forgiving, it loves me even with

all my faults, it rejoices with me at small accomplishments and relishes

milestones.....I also say that I am a home with my Down syndrome world; I am

only visiting my " non-ds " world. I do not feel as welcome there, I am always

on edge. Only another parent can know the thrill of a 4 year old who went

poo-poo in the potty without bribery, only another special needs parent can

understand the tears at a 7 year old who can print their name, only another

parent of a child with Down syndrome can see why I cry uncontrollably after

my opening announcements at Buddy Walk when hours and days and weeks of

preparation results in over 450 people attending because the too BELIEVE in

our children. We have been given a special challenge, only another parent

can see how important it is to rise to that challenge. God Bless, GW

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So you all understand why I laughed with tears running down my face on

the 4th at what Karrie did.

The man I'm dating brought my hand to his mouth and kissed the back of

my hand. Karrie said, " Yucccckkkkk " and put her hand over her mouth and

giggled uncontrollably. It was such a 5 year old thing to do!!!!

Sue mom to Kate ll and Karrie 5 w/ds

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> For many years, I've wondered where all my friends that have kids are.

How

> come we dont keep in touch? But now I understand. I know that our

life-time

> friendships are going to be formed at the Suaree and other places where we

> all just come together without the words.

>

,

There is alot unsaid regarding any DS get togethers. Last year, I took in

all the mothers who brought sons. , , Ted, , etc.

Watching these older boys gave me such hope. Now I can dream about

traveling with and not having it be such a big deal! This year,

seeing the changes in Danny (another wanderer) and how he has matured

impacted me. More hope.......

I may not express my feelings, but attending any DS get togethers means an

awful lot to me. Seeing other kids (including siblings) grow through the

years is such an honor. I may not respond to each post, but when someone

posts about their child walking or being potty trained or learning to read

brings such joy and pleasure to me.

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