Re: Teasing and bullying

March 15, 2001

In a message dated 3/15/01 4:33:35 PM Central Standard Time,

rdill@... writes:

> Raising kids is hard. It helps to do the best you can, but it isn't

> always enough.

>

> Rick ..... dad to 28 year old Jan

HI Rick

I agree teasing can bring your child to tears, the weakest can crack. My

fears are that if Sara is put in this situation she will tease back and SHE

will be the one busted. Somewhere she has heard " kiss my butt " and she told

her aide to do this 2 weeks ago. Her explanation was the aide was getting on

her nerves. In recent yrs Ive met some pretty tough teens with DS lolol all

with older siblings who taught them how to survive in the teen jungle. Sara

will have to learn the right time and place to use such language or to not

use it at all

Kill with kindness or say get out of my face...........that's my girl lol

Kathy mom to Sara 9

March 15, 2001

Hi Rick

I always get chills when I read this. And don't understand why it

happens. Do the teachers anything about it, and the parents?

If ever my girl would bully someone, she would get punished right

away. but she wouldn't do that.

I am sometimes afraid that she will be a target to, because she

allways reacts verbaly, like we tought her. The other kids react

mostly physically.

The worst thing is when adults say that kids are like this, so it's

allright......

Parents should stop and think sometimes.......what we seed is what we

harvest........

Rob

> While Jan got (and still gets) some teasing, she handles it pretty

> well. It was her older brother who was the butt of cruel teasing

from

> kindergarten age on. I guess that some of the kids found him a good

> target and their skills at teasing and abuse grew faster than his

> ability to cope. He used to have his locker broken into .. no

matter

> what lock was used. His books and belongings were put in the

garbage.

>

> He graduated from high school with ONE friend and major distrust of

> everyone else. It isn't pretty. He still has that friend a dozen

years

> later.

>

> One of my reservations about putting our kids with others who are

more

> skilled at cruelty is the risk to them, not that I expect kids with

DS

> to go on a shooting rampage. On the other hand Jan still

occasionally

> gets weepy thinking about her high school classmate who got a gun

and

> committed suicide. On the other hand my wife had a medical student

> classmate who did the same.

>

> Raising kids is hard. It helps to do the best you can, but it isn't

> always enough.

>

> Rick ..... dad to 28 year old Jan

March 15, 2001

In a message dated 3/15/01 4:33:20 PM Central Standard Time,

rdill@... writes:

> He graduated from high school with ONE friend and major distrust of

> everyone else. It isn't pretty. He still has that friend a dozen years

> later.

>

Someone said that there has always been teasing and bullying but the

schools or the teachers used to do something about it. Now they just seem to

shrug their shoulders, as do the parents. Sort of boys will be boys, I

guess. We need a large campaign against it, maybe that would help. It just

seems to me that if SOMEONE who sees this going on relentlessly would do

something about it, some of these tragedies could be prevented.

went to a small private school and it just wasn't allowed.

Thank goodness. Jessie

March 15, 2001

In a message dated 3/15/01 11:28:06 PM Central Standard Time,

Bonoratoe001@... writes:

> It IS the parent's job to teach this. I don't think you disagree with me on

> that point. The principal at my school actually joined in the torment. The

>

I fully agree with you. It is the parent's job but if they don't do

it someone else must. I had a teacher for the first 4 grades (small school)

who taught us so much about values, etc. Not that my parents didn't but I

remember her lessons more. We were NEVER allowed to laugh or make fun of

anyone for one thing. She affected my whole life and probably many others

too. Some years later I tried to find her to tell her and learned she died

quite young. If all teachers were like her it would be a different world.

It's hard to even imagine a principal joining in. I'm sorry that happened to

you. Jessie

March 15, 2001

It IS the parent's job to teach this. I don't think you disagree with me on

that point. The principal at my school actually joined in the torment. The

kids would relentlessly call me a particular name and he would laugh and

slap the tormentors on the back. The parents all thought it was funny and

their cute little boys were just being boys after all. I should have been

able to take a little teasing. I could not go to class for TWO solid years

without this. This will NEVER happen to a child of mine or anyone elses if

I am in earshot. It may only stop for a little while but I will stand up

and say something. What is that saying?? The only way evil is allowed to

continue is if good people stand by and do nothing. We are all here as

advocates for our kids--NDA and DS. This is a big part of that advocacy.

IMHO

Elaine

Re: Teasing and bullying

> In a message dated 3/15/01 4:33:20 PM Central Standard Time,

> rdill@... writes:

>

> > He graduated from high school with ONE friend and major distrust of

> > everyone else. It isn't pretty. He still has that friend a dozen years

> > later.

> >

> Someone said that there has always been teasing and bullying but

the

> schools or the teachers used to do something about it. Now they just seem

to

> shrug their shoulders, as do the parents. Sort of boys will be boys, I

> guess. We need a large campaign against it, maybe that would help. It

just

> seems to me that if SOMEONE who sees this going on relentlessly would do

> something about it, some of these tragedies could be prevented.

> went to a small private school and it just wasn't allowed.

> Thank goodness. Jessie

>

March 16, 2001

I agree, the parents are the ones that plant the behaviour. if we put others

down and ridicule them as adults, our kids will copy that in their own

world.

Like others I was teased often to.

But after they become 4 untill the time they are at least 16 years they

spend the most of the day at school.

The teasing in schools is a big issue in the Netherlands. Schools sign a

protocol in which the children and teachers pledge they will prevent the

bullying. My experience is that teachers here don't have the time or wish to

really look at this. They are busier with meetings and drinking coffee.

Merel is turning 4 this summer and we looked for a primary school that had a

special way of teaching. And we found it in the 'free school'. Don't know

how thats called in english. This school is based on the believes of Rudolf

Steiner, and has an antroposofic way of teaching children.

The big difference with other schools is that there is no competition.

Children will always go to the next year and a lot of time is spend by

learning to respect eachother.

Every year has a theme in which they learn all about one important subject,

for example the old testament, norwegian mythology, greek mythologie, and so

on.

In that way they also learn a lot about different ways if looking at things.

According to the teachers there, teasing is something they almost never

experience. In the contrary, when a dance teacher came for the first time to

give dance and one of the kids was moving in a strange way, and he looked a

bit strange at it, the other children corrected him by saying " don't look at

him that way, thats who he is " .

If all schools would teach there children some kind of group feeling instead

of pushing them to compete against eachother, making them into

overachievers. Like the whole society is now a days, only achieving is

important. Then there would be more understanding.

Children will be the children we make them to be.

Rob

Message: 16

Date: Fri, 16 Mar 2001 02:19:39 EST

From: JB66111@...

Subject: Re: Teasing and bullying

In a message dated 3/15/01 11:28:06 PM Central Standard Time,

Bonoratoe001@... writes:

> It IS the parent's job to teach this. I don't think you disagree with me

on