Group Homes

[Guest guest]

You expressed this beautifully Carolyn. Thank You.

Love,

Francine

Speak with Him Thou for He hearest.

Spirit with Spirit can speak.

Closer is Love than breathing,

Nearer than hands and feet.

(with appreciation for Tennyson)

group homes

>

>

> some people tell me my son would be better in a group home.he is high

> functioning 10 year old.with each passing year i see him falling

> farther behind as far as maturity and social skills.does anyone know

> of a group home in south florida.he is currently enrolled in the

> autism cluster in the palm beach county school system.i would like to

> investigate every option before i make any decisions

>

>

[Guest guest]

> & gt;

> & gt;

> & gt; Group homes, day programs are just warehousing people. Your son is so

> & gt; much better off at home. There are many things You can do to help

> & gt; him. Take a look at www.iahp.org & lt;http://www.iahp.org & gt; for some

> & gt; ideas; and You can call them.

> & gt;

> & gt; In NY, we've had more than one person die in a group home because of

> & gt; mishandling.

> & gt;

> & gt; The people who tell parents that are those who wouldn't consider

> & gt; caring for their own child at home.

> & gt;

> & gt; Trust your love and care more Terry.

> & gt;

> & gt; Sending You a hug,

> & gt; Francine

> & gt;

> & gt; Speak with Him Thou for He hearest.

> & gt; Spirit with Spirit can speak.

> & gt; Closer is Love than breathing,

> & gt; Nearer than hands and feet.

> & gt;

> & gt; (with appreciation for Tennyson)

> & gt;

> & gt; group homes

> & gt;

> & gt;

> & gt; some people tell me my son would be better in a group home.he is high

> & gt; functioning 10 year old.with each passing year i see him falling

> & gt; farther behind as far as maturity and social skills.does anyone know

> & gt; of a group home in south florida.he is currently enrolled in the

> & gt; autism cluster in the palm beach county school system.i would like to

> & gt; investigate every option before i make any decisions

> & gt;

> & gt;

>

thank you for your response i was really looking to investigate group homes and

then decide.Qouting poetry isnt going to help my son.but ive got a couple quotes

for ya...condemnation without investigation is prejudice...you cant put new

ideas into a closed mind....i not saying i want to put my son in a group home i

want to investigate group homes in south florida.i want to put him in the best

possible situation for him to succeed

[Guest guest]

I am curious why you are considering this option.  Usually it is

only something done if there are reasons not to keep the child at

home - eg violence.  Not that any of us haven't thought of sending

our kids away for a while

On 18/08/2010 8:33 AM, Terry wrote:

 

some people tell me my son would be better in a group

home.he is high functioning 10 year old.with each passing

year i see him falling farther behind as far as maturity

and social skills.does anyone know of a group home in

south florida.he is currently enrolled in the autism

cluster in the palm beach county school system.i would

like to investigate every option before i make any

decisions

[Guest guest]

Dear Kirkland's,

Well, I have a daughter, and she did used to outweigh me considerably; not tall, yet incredibly strong, and known to go suddenly wild on the highway at 55 mph, more than once. This list didn't usined to like the G-word that Carolyn and I love so, and it's the G-word that is our unseen help and safety. I could tell some wonderful (and incredible) stories of protection.

If a parent can't deal with violence, how can a group home? Those difficult kids are the ones that sometimes end up dying because the workers don't know how to deal with it, and haven't a parent's love.

No-one is saying any of this is easy. The question was asked, and we're giving our experience. If You are giving yours, then I can certainly understand your point of view about it. It's scary to be attacked. I sure know that, like being in a tornado or cyclone.

And yet there is that unseen Help always present, waiting to be called upon.

with Love,

Francine

Speak with Him Thou for He hearest.

Spirit with Spirit can speak.

Closer is Love than breathing,

Nearer than hands and feet.

(with appreciation for Tennyson)

group homes

>

>

> some people tell me my son would be better in a group home.he is high

> functioning 10 year old.with each passing year i see him falling

> farther behind as far as maturity and social skills.does anyone know

> of a group home in south florida.he is currently enrolled in the

> autism cluster in the palm beach county school system.i would like to

> investigate every option before i make any decisions

>

>

[Guest guest]

No one should make judgments or assumptions about another parent choosing to use -- or not use --a group home. My cousin in RI manages a Group Home, and you cannot imagine a more loving, kind individual than my cousin . He is truly a special man, and he is wonderful, a Gift from God, to the residents in the home he manages. No, not all Group Homes are like that--but they do exist, and for those who's children are physically taller and heavier than they are, who are physically unmanageable, they can be a Godsend.Everyone has to make the decision that is right for their child and their situation. Group Homes may not be for everyone. That doesn't mean they are not for anyone. MarilynFrom: "sunrose101@..." <sunrose101@...>Autism and Aspergers Treatment Sent: Thu, August 19, 2010 8:54:04 PMSubject: Re: group homes

Dear Kirkland's,

Well, I have a daughter, and she did used to outweigh me considerably; not tall, yet incredibly strong, and known to go suddenly wild on the highway at 55 mph, more than once. This list didn't usined to like the G-word that Carolyn and I love so, and it's the G-word that is our unseen help and safety. I could tell some wonderful (and incredible) stories of protection.

If a parent can't deal with violence, how can a group home? Those difficult kids are the ones that sometimes end up dying because the workers don't know how to deal with it, and haven't a parent's love.

No-one is saying any of this is easy. The question was asked, and we're giving our experience. If You are giving yours, then I can certainly understand your point of view about it. It's scary to be attacked. I sure know that, like being in a tornado or cyclone.

And yet there is that unseen Help always present, waiting to be called upon.

with Love,

Francine

Speak with Him Thou for He hearest.

Spirit with Spirit can speak.

Closer is Love than breathing,

Nearer than hands and feet.

(with appreciation for Tennyson)

group homes

>

>

> some people tell me my son would be better in a group home.he is high

> functioning 10 year old.with each passing year i see him falling

> farther behind as far as maturity and social skills.does anyone know

> of a group home in south florida.he is currently enrolled in the

> autism cluster in the palm beach county school system.i would like to

> investigate every option before i make any decisions

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hello there, sorry I missed your post till now. Well now that I think

about it my son Marty WAS bigger than me, when he began his so called

" violent " behavior at about age 13 to 20, he did go " bezerk " on me

physically and scratched and bit me, also tore up the house, tore down

the curtains, threw them at me, and the curtain rods, and many other

things at me, sometimes furniture, things out of the fridge, six packs

of Pepsi in bottles. They sure did make a loud noise and a big splat

against the walls!

That is actually when I DID go and visit the group home, but come to

find out they were not interest in taking in a patient with such intense

needs anyway, so we just rode it out. They didn't want him. Anyway he

had me, his father, a little sister and two big brothers and the father

and brothers helped me to subdue him while the sister ran to her room.

She knew when to go, and he never hurt her.

I just wanted to say that when you pray to God with all your heart then

He hears you and He helps you~! That is what has happened with us. I had

made up my mind I loved my son and I would care for him and see him

through his problems, and I loved God and I would obey Him. Nobody got

killed, not even him. I just always knew he wasn't bad or evil, and the

way to conquer what was driving him was my steadfast love. Not saying it

was easy but it did work for us,

What else do we have really?

Carolyn ;o)

Kirkland Clan wrote:

>

> Hi Just a word or so, on the group home thing..... if your son was 17

> years old and was towering you and out wieghed you by say 40 lbs and

> he went birzerk on you physically, and assualted you etc.......... you

> would be in a reasonable position to think seriously about moving hime

> to a group home. The assault alone may kill you or any other person in

> their path, such as the family dog or younger sibling, this is my

> point, I would seriously consider a group home, of my choice.

> Kirkland's

>

> On Wed, Aug 18, 2010 at 1:22 PM, Carolyn <charper777@...

> <mailto:charper777@...>> wrote:

>

>

>

> Hi Francine, I am with you about group homes. I do not think our kids

> should go live in them. I know a lot of kids have to for one

> reason or

> other, but if they don't have to I wouldn't force them to. I

> looked at

> one once when my son was really crazy at home, the " people " who

> manged

> his care wanted me to so I went and I did and it was really weird

> to me,

> the bedrooms were upstairs, a steep rickety wooden staircase and

> my son

> had SEIZURES! They would just hit him without warning and he would

> fall

> down, yet his bedroom would be upstairs...

>

> Didn't make sense. I have always been careful for what would hurt him

> around the house and this was obviously a danger to him and the

> others

> as well, they couldn't find a house with NO stairs for a group

> home for

> young men with various disabilities, hmmm. With that kind of

> judgment I

> am not going to let my son live with you. No way. Also the guys that

> worked there, shifts of guys who were young themselves and who knows

> what experience they might have. I wasn't going to let my son

> learn from

> them the hard way...

>

> Also at home my son was always an important part of the family and he

> has always known he is. I think this was good for him and has been

> good

> for my children and all his nieces and nephews who have come along

> also

> They've grown up with Marty in the house crawling around his feet

> standing up using his knees as support. I think it has been good for

> them, has made them aware of disabled people and aware of how to care

> for them, how much tolerance and love they need...how fortunate

> they are

> for being healthy, all sorts of good things.

>

> Carolyn ;o)

>

> sunrose101@... <mailto:sunrose101%40aol.com> wrote:

> >

> >

> > Group homes, day programs are just warehousing people. Your son

> is so

> > much better off at home. There are many things You can do to help

> > him. Take a look at www.iahp.org <http://www.iahp.org/>

> <http://www.iahp.org <http://www.iahp.org/>> for some

> > ideas; and You can call them.

> >

> > In NY, we've had more than one person die in a group home

> because of

> > mishandling.

> >

> > The people who tell parents that are those who wouldn't consider

> > caring for their own child at home.

> >

> > Trust your love and care more Terry.

> >

> > Sending You a hug,

> > Francine

> >

> > Speak with Him Thou for He hearest.

> > Spirit with Spirit can speak.

> > Closer is Love than breathing,

> > Nearer than hands and feet.

> >

> > (with appreciation for Tennyson)

> >

> > group homes

> >

> >

> > some people tell me my son would be better in a group home.he is

> high

> > functioning 10 year old.with each passing year i see him falling

> > farther behind as far as maturity and social skills.does anyone

> know

> > of a group home in south florida.he is currently enrolled in the

> > autism cluster in the palm beach county school system.i would

> like to

> > investigate every option before i make any decisions

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I agree with you Marilyn, if you can find that kind of group home you

describe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to let your child try it out.

We learned however that the few here don't like to take in the really

difficult cases like " violent " " non compliant " " aggressive " as my son

was labeled, and who can blame them... I know when my son was young he

had a cousin with autism like him and his parents, my husband's brother

and wife put him into the state institution when he was quite young

because they didn't want to be tied down caring for him. When they shut

it down some years later he went to live in a group home in the

community. I don't know how he felt about it or how they felt over the

years.

I just knew I would miss my son terribly, and figured it would be harder

on me and harder on my son that way in the long run and I sure didn't

want to add to the heartache and pain of it all, so we stuck together..

He had so many seizures and problems there was a lot to take care of and

I figured who else was going to do it, but me..figured my job was to

protect him.

I agree we are free to choose, which is what I did, and my in laws did

also. They had their reasons and I had mine... Guess I just wanted to

say we don't need to be forced either way. When my son was young all the

so called " experts " tried to force parents like us to put our children

into Fairview Institution, we were really brow beat, they said I would

go crazy, my husband would leave me, my kids would turn to drugs and

alcohol and hate me, and none of it was true.

Well my husband did become an alcoholic and our oldest son did, and my

husband and I did divorce and he did die of cirrhosis, but I don't think

that should be blamed on our son. I kept on, I made my own choices which

I am saying we all should do..

Carolyn ;o)

marilyn wrote:

>

> No one should make judgments or assumptions about another parent

> choosing to use -- or not use --a group home. My cousin in RI manages

> a Group Home, and you cannot imagine a more loving, kind individual

> than my cousin . He is truly a special man, and he is wonderful, a

> Gift from God, to the residents in the home he manages. No, not all

> Group Homes are like that--but they do exist, and for those who's

> children are physically taller and heavier than they are, who are

> physically unmanageable, they can be a Godsend.

>

> Everyone has to make the decision that is right for their child and

> their situation. Group Homes may not be for everyone. That doesn't

> mean they are not for anyone.

>

> Marilyn

>

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> *From:* " sunrose101@... " <sunrose101@...>

> *To:* Autism and Aspergers Treatment

> *Sent:* Thu, August 19, 2010 8:54:04 PM

> *Subject:* Re: group homes

>

>

>

> Dear Kirkland's,

>

> Well, I have a daughter, and she did used to outweigh me considerably;

> not tall, yet incredibly strong, and known to go suddenly wild on the

> highway at 55 mph, more than once. This list didn't usined to like

> the G-word that Carolyn and I love so, and it's the G-word that is our

> unseen help and safety. I could tell some wonderful (and incredible)

> stories of protection.

>

> If a parent can't deal with violence, how can a group home? Those

> difficult kids are the ones that sometimes end up dying because the

> workers don't know how to deal with it, and haven't a parent's love.

>

> No-one is saying any of this is easy. The question was asked, and

> we're giving our experience. If You are giving yours, then I can

> certainly understand your point of view about it. It's scary to be

> attacked. I sure know that, like being in a tornado or cyclone.

>

> And yet there is that unseen Help always present, waiting to be called

> upon.

>

> with Love,

> Francine

>

> Speak with Him Thou for He hearest.

> Spirit with Spirit can speak.

> Closer is Love than breathing,

> Nearer than hands and feet.

>

> (with appreciation for Tennyson)

>

> group homes

> >

> >

> > some people tell me my son would be better in a group home.he is

> high

> > functioning 10 year old.with each passing year i see him falling

> > farther behind as far as maturity and social skills.does anyone

> know

> > of a group home in south florida.he is currently enrolled in the

> > autism cluster in the palm beach county school system.i would

> like to

> > investigate every option before i make any decisions

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

On Aug 19, 2010, at 8:37 PM, Carolyn wrote:I agree with you Marilyn, if you can find that kind of group home you describe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to let your child try it out. We learned however that the few here don't like to take in the really difficult cases like "violent" "non compliant" "aggressive" as my son was labeled, and who can blame them... I know when my son was young he had a cousin with autism like him and his parents, my husband's brother and wife put him into the state institution when he was quite young because they didn't want to be tied down caring for him. When they shut it down some years later he went to live in a group home in the community. I don't know how he felt about it or how they felt over the years. I just knew I would miss my son terribly, and figured it would be harder on me and harder on my son that way in the long run and I sure didn't want to add to the heartache and pain of it all, so we stuck together.. He had so many seizures and problems there was a lot to take care of and I figured who else was going to do it, but me..figured my job was to protect him.I guess it depends on where you are. We're kinda lucky here in Albuquerque when it comes to things for adult autistics. Louie's been in an assisted living house since he was 21 (he's 30 now). He was a wild child when he went to live there, and so they put him in a "restricted" house, where there were locks on everything including the refrigerator and the cupboards. He learned to live with others there, and how to cope with his autism better than he had been. After several months, and several lost pounds later, he moved to an "open" house with only locks on the doors like everyone else has. He's lived in 4 different houses with the same agency, counting the one where he is now. Now he lives with 3 roomies in a beautiful restored rancho near Old Town here, a very coveted neighborhood among people his age. He works 2 days a week, has 3 volunteer jobs, and is a Special Olympic medalist. He's been to San Diego with his house, and in October they're all going to NYC; he's paying for his own extras and the agency will pay for the rooms, transportation, meals, and tickets to various things. He's a very happy guy.The thing is, we had to come to terms with the fact that neither of us (me and his dad) are immortal. At some point, he would have to learn to paddle his own canoe. We figured it would be easier while he was a young adult rather than when he was an older guy. It's proved to be true. He's his own guardian, makes his own decisions, and loves where he lives. He likes his roomies, his newspaper subscription, and his cable hookup. We couldn't ask for more for him.Now, I know that's not the state of affairs everywhere. And this was not the first agency we looked at either; there were some real losers out there. But the place we found for him is a perfect fit. Not all group homes or assisted living situations are perfect, or even very good. But there's got to be a fit somewhere for all of our kids. At least that's what I believe. Annie, who loves ya annie@...---A person should be like a watch--open-faced, busy hands, well-regulated, and full of good works. --- Roy B. Zuck

[Guest guest]

I want to know more about the group homes.

> >

> >

> > Group homes, day programs are just warehousing people. Your son is so

> > much better off at home. There are many things You can do to help

> > him. Take a look at www.iahp.org <http://www.iahp.org> for some

> > ideas; and You can call them.

> >

> > In NY, we've had more than one person die in a group home because of

> > mishandling.

> >

> > The people who tell parents that are those who wouldn't consider

> > caring for their own child at home.

> >

> > Trust your love and care more Terry.

> >

> > Sending You a hug,

> > Francine

> >

> > Speak with Him Thou for He hearest.

> > Spirit with Spirit can speak.

> > Closer is Love than breathing,

> > Nearer than hands and feet.

> >

> > (with appreciation for Tennyson)

> >

> > group homes

> >

> >

> > some people tell me my son would be better in a group home.he is high

> > functioning 10 year old.with each passing year i see him falling

> > farther behind as far as maturity and social skills.does anyone know

> > of a group home in south florida.he is currently enrolled in the

> > autism cluster in the palm beach county school system.i would like to

> > investigate every option before i make any decisions

> >

> >

>