Group Homes

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/21/02 7:50:13 PM Central Daylight Time,

writes:

> Thanks for the encouraging e-mail. As I e-mailed to

> the gang before this one guy is having a lot of

> problems lately. As for the futon or couch, that

> sounds like a great idea. I will have to look into

> that. I do no that the Oregon Admistration Rules

> require specifics about the beds required and that in

> order to get a couch or futon we may have to get a

> varience. This week I will probably talk to the staff

> and program manager to see what they think about the

> issue. Although we don't want to make his room to

> invining so that he spends all of his time there

> either. It is so hard sometimes to find a balance.

> I have and IDT meeting about this person in the

> future due to some issue that his Mom has. She

> apparently came to the house and saw him in a behavior

> and wasn't to happy. Talk to you all soon.

> Thanks

> Devrey

>

> Devrey,

I haven't caught all your posts but thought I'd intro myself. My name is

Karyn. My husband and I have a 13 year old, , and a 17 month old, .

is adopted. He came to us when he was almost 9 years old. Prior to that

I managed a group home for children with developmental disabilities and a

residential program for adults with autism. I was in the field for about 12

years. I miss it at times but the boys keep us very busy and I find myself

using all my skills to help .

Anyway, your client in need- could you put a recliner in his room along with

his bed. That way regs are satified that you are providing appropriate sleep

accomodations and he still has the option of sleeping in his chair. Give him

a sheet to throw over it if you are concerned about hygiene. This is one of

those areas that annoy me about group homes and regs. My husband likes to

fall asleep in his recliner in the living room and come to bed when he feels

like it. Because he isn't disabled no one (other than me) tells him it is

wrong.

Second idea,has anyone done a sleep study on this man? Someone may have

already suggested this but, there may be a physical reason he is having

problems. Does he snore loudly? Are his tonsils enlarged?

Third thought, you said many of your clients are from institutional settings.

Is there possibly a history of abuse?

Sorry to raise the last one but was a frequent issue for older clients in the

agency I worked in.

Karyn

[Guest guest]

Hey Charlene,

Thanks for the encouraging e-mail. As I e-mailed to

the gang before this one guy is having a lot of

problems lately. As for the futon or couch, that

sounds like a great idea. I will have to look into

that. I do no that the Oregon Admistration Rules

require specifics about the beds required and that in

order to get a couch or futon we may have to get a

varience. This week I will probably talk to the staff

and program manager to see what they think about the

issue. Although we don't want to make his room to

invining so that he spends all of his time there

either. It is so hard sometimes to find a balance.

I have and IDT meeting about this person in the

future due to some issue that his Mom has. She

apparently came to the house and saw him in a behavior

and wasn't to happy. Talk to you all soon.

Thanks

Devrey

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/21/2002 6:44:54 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

egg_philosopher@... writes:

> I have and IDT meeting about this person in the

> future due to some issue that his Mom has. She

> apparently came to the house and saw him in a behavior

> and wasn't to happy.

Hi Devrey,

Your right about finding a balance. Does he know where he is going when he

gets in the van? Is it someplace he likes to go? Is there a lot of walking?

Smearing feces, yuk. We have that problem sometimes but it has to do with

more experience wiping. If the hands get it, oh well. Is this person happy?

Sorry for all the questions, just some things to think about.

Charlyne

Mom to Zeb 9 DS/OCD ?

[Guest guest]

Hey Karyn,

It is also good to hear from someone who has been in

the field. We have yet to do a sleep study on him to

find out if it is a physical problem. They do track

his sleeping and I will need to look at all of that

before making a final decision as to what should be

done. The recliner suggestion is excellent and I will

keep that in mind and put it on my list of good ideas

to present.

With many of the people I work with abuse is always

an issue and does make it understandable when they

have such severe behaviors. Thank goodness this is one

of my smaller problems. I need to reread the history

to see if there are any abuse issues that may prevent

the person from sleeping.

Thank for taking the time to write Karyn.

Thanks,

Devrey

> >

> > Devrey,

> I haven't caught all your posts but thought I'd

> intro myself. My name is

> Karyn. My husband and I have a 13 year old, ,

> and a 17 month old, .

> is adopted. He came to us when he was almost 9

> years old. Prior to that

> I managed a group home for children with

> developmental disabilities and a

> residential program for adults with autism. I was in

> the field for about 12

> years. I miss it at times but the boys keep us very

> busy and I find myself

> using all my skills to help .

> Anyway, your client in need- could you put a

> recliner in his room along with

> his bed. That way regs are satified that you are

> providing appropriate sleep

> accomodations and he still has the option of

> sleeping in his chair. Give him

> a sheet to throw over it if you are concerned about

> hygiene. This is one of

> those areas that annoy me about group homes and

> regs. My husband likes to

> fall asleep in his recliner in the living room and

> come to bed when he feels

> like it. Because he isn't disabled no one (other

> than me) tells him it is

> wrong.

> Second idea,has anyone done a sleep study on this

> man? Someone may have

> already suggested this but, there may be a physical

> reason he is having

> problems. Does he snore loudly? Are his tonsils

> enlarged?

> Third thought, you said many of your clients are

> from institutional settings.

> Is there possibly a history of abuse?

> Sorry to raise the last one but was a frequent issue

> for older clients in the

> agency I worked in.

>

> Karyn

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hey Karyn,

It is also good to hear from someone who has been in

the field. We have yet to do a sleep study on him to

find out if it is a physical problem. They do track

his sleeping and I will need to look at all of that

before making a final decision as to what should be

done. The recliner suggestion is excellent and I will

keep that in mind and put it on my list of good ideas

to present.

With many of the people I work with abuse is always

an issue and does make it understandable when they

have such severe behaviors. Thank goodness this is one

of my smaller problems. I need to reread the history

to see if there are any abuse issues that may prevent

the person from sleeping.

Thank for taking the time to write Karyn.

Thanks,

Devrey

> >

> > Devrey,

> I haven't caught all your posts but thought I'd

> intro myself. My name is

> Karyn. My husband and I have a 13 year old, ,

> and a 17 month old, .

> is adopted. He came to us when he was almost 9

> years old. Prior to that

> I managed a group home for children with

> developmental disabilities and a

> residential program for adults with autism. I was in

> the field for about 12

> years. I miss it at times but the boys keep us very

> busy and I find myself

> using all my skills to help .

> Anyway, your client in need- could you put a

> recliner in his room along with

> his bed. That way regs are satified that you are

> providing appropriate sleep

> accomodations and he still has the option of

> sleeping in his chair. Give him

> a sheet to throw over it if you are concerned about

> hygiene. This is one of

> those areas that annoy me about group homes and

> regs. My husband likes to

> fall asleep in his recliner in the living room and

> come to bed when he feels

> like it. Because he isn't disabled no one (other

> than me) tells him it is

> wrong.

> Second idea,has anyone done a sleep study on this

> man? Someone may have

> already suggested this but, there may be a physical

> reason he is having

> problems. Does he snore loudly? Are his tonsils

> enlarged?

> Third thought, you said many of your clients are

> from institutional settings.

> Is there possibly a history of abuse?

> Sorry to raise the last one but was a frequent issue

> for older clients in the

> agency I worked in.

>

> Karyn

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

to get anthan out of the car or van for school, he uses transiton objects (his

happen to be toys) of his pic and as long as he goes he gets to carry his

objects but he he refuses then they get taken away, we have worked nathan up

very well with these, even at school he knows they get put away(he chooses in

desk or pack) then when his work tiemre goes off he chooses a break or more work

if he chooses a break he goes over and gets his toys out for about 5min and when

his timre goes off he puts them away and returns back to work no prob---but

remember this took years of patience and consistency a mojor part of behavoir

management as you know. shawna.

Re: Group homes

In a message dated 4/21/2002 6:44:54 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

egg_philosopher@... writes:

> I have and IDT meeting about this person in the

> future due to some issue that his Mom has. She

> apparently came to the house and saw him in a behavior

> and wasn't to happy.

Hi Devrey,

Your right about finding a balance. Does he know where he is going when he

gets in the van? Is it someplace he likes to go? Is there a lot of walking?

Smearing feces, yuk. We have that problem sometimes but it has to do with

more experience wiping. If the hands get it, oh well. Is this person happy?

Sorry for all the questions, just some things to think about.

Charlyne

Mom to Zeb 9 DS/OCD ?

[Guest guest]

>Not even when they end up in a group home. I am afraidthat we are going to have to look at that option and I hate the thought ofit but he is getting too strong for us, his grandparents, and his mom cannotkeep him at home because of his needs<

Is there even such a place...really? Are they safe?

[Guest guest]

>Not even when they end up in a group home. I am afraidthat we are going to have to look at that option and I hate the thought ofit but he is getting too strong for us, his grandparents, and his mom cannotkeep him at home because of his needs<

Is there even such a place...really? Are they safe?

[Guest guest]

Hi.. I often think of this alot as my son gets older....it is such a concern and stresser to do this ....jen I would love to hear more about group homes from those who know more

[Guest guest]

I was also considering a group home for my son when he gets older. I often think about what people would say. I dont want people to think that I am throwing my son away. I have to think harder and also do more praying. I know that there is no cure for his condition. Strength and guidance is what i need.Olga Kibaya <olga4k@...> wrote:

Hi ,My daughter went to a group home when she was 12. Itwas a very difficult decision but in my case it wasthe best. Group homes have their own problems bcozthe care providers are paid so little unles one isthere bcoz of their calling. You have to stay on topof things. Visit often, talk to the teachers, bringyour child home as much as you can. Every month youfight another battle. I guess when you have childlike ours you never stop the fighting. I can tell youthat it will never be an easy decision.Olga--- Carlson <cathykay@...> wrote:> >Not even when they end up in a group home. I am> afraid> that we are going to have to look at that option and> I hate the thought of> it but he is getting too strong for us,

his> grandparents, and his mom cannot> keep him at home because of his needs<> > Is there even such a place...really? Are they safe?> > __________________________________ Do you ? - You care about security. So do we. http://promotions./new_mail__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

I was also considering a group home for my son when he gets older. I often think about what people would say. I dont want people to think that I am throwing my son away. I have to think harder and also do more praying. I know that there is no cure for his condition. Strength and guidance is what i need.Olga Kibaya <olga4k@...> wrote:

Hi ,My daughter went to a group home when she was 12. Itwas a very difficult decision but in my case it wasthe best. Group homes have their own problems bcozthe care providers are paid so little unles one isthere bcoz of their calling. You have to stay on topof things. Visit often, talk to the teachers, bringyour child home as much as you can. Every month youfight another battle. I guess when you have childlike ours you never stop the fighting. I can tell youthat it will never be an easy decision.Olga--- Carlson <cathykay@...> wrote:> >Not even when they end up in a group home. I am> afraid> that we are going to have to look at that option and> I hate the thought of> it but he is getting too strong for us,

his> grandparents, and his mom cannot> keep him at home because of his needs<> > Is there even such a place...really? Are they safe?> > __________________________________ Do you ? - You care about security. So do we. http://promotions./new_mail__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

-

I've been reading the post on group homes and wanted to put my 2

cents in:

Just last week we had my 10 year olds annual ARD. The 1st thing that

pop's out of the teachers mouth is her concern about how fast he is

growing and the weight that he has gained. Four years ago he would

only eat Toast pudding and Baby Food " mixed Cererl " . Today he will

try almost anything and loves to eat so he has put on weight but the

doctor told me that he wasn't worried that he was in a growth spurt.

Well anyway my oldest son is 6'2 and weighs 260 lbs so they are all

afraid that will be just as big so therefor I need to " make "

him loose weight so that when he is older he won't hurt me if he has

a melt down. Yeah right like you can " make " a child stop eating!!

Well my point is that they told me that I would have to " put " him a

way if I couldn't " control " him!! Made me MAD!!!! 1st of all

doesn't have out breaks like most Autistic kids do. He has Melt downs

but I am able to calm him down. Most of the time!! Anyway I hope and

pray that it never comes to that but if it does I am sure that I'll

know. Hang in there Our kids are worth it. I know,,, I'm tired

too !!! But you know I think that If we couldn't handle these kids we

wouldn't have been blessed to be there parents!! Peace Jeanne

-- In autism , Over Stressed

<over_stressed_mom@y...> wrote:

> I was also considering a group home for my son when he gets older.

I often think about what people would say. I dont want people to

think that I am throwing my son away. I have to think harder and also

do more praying. I know that there is no cure for his condition.

Strength and guidance is what i need.

>

> Olga Kibaya <olga4k@y...> wrote:Hi ,

>

> My daughter went to a group home when she was 12. It

> was a very difficult decision but in my case it was

> the best. Group homes have their own problems bcoz

> the care providers are paid so little unles one is

> there bcoz of their calling. You have to stay on top

> of things. Visit often, talk to the teachers, bring

> your child home as much as you can. Every month you

> fight another battle. I guess when you have child

> like ours you never stop the fighting. I can tell you

> that it will never be an easy decision.

>

> Olga

> --- Carlson <cathykay@e...> wrote:

>

> > >Not even when they end up in a group home. I am

> > afraid

> > that we are going to have to look at that option and

> > I hate the thought of

> > it but he is getting too strong for us, his

> > grandparents, and his mom cannot

> > keep him at home because of his needs<

> >

> > Is there even such a place...really? Are they safe?

> >

> >

>

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________

> Do you ?

> - You care about security. So do we.

> http://promotions./new_mail

>

>

> ---------------------------------

>

[Guest guest]

>>Is there even such a place...really? Are they safe>>

That is what we really worry about. On one list I was on, some parents have found decent and some very good homes but they are not in our state but back East. I don't know what happened to our list because I cannot get any mail to or from it right now. The moderator was wondering about closing it down so I do not know what happened but her son is in a very good home right now. That is a list for severe to low functioning autism. Evan is considered low- medium functioning and I am going to miss that list if it closes.

Anyway, there are a few parents who have had to put their children in homes and they checked out many before they placed their children. There are also waiting lists. So I want to check with his worker next month about what is available in group homes. I really had a time with his previous worker who tried to force me into putting Evan into a home last year. I told her then that we knew it might come down to that but we were not going to do it until we had to. After all my tamtrums about it, it looks like we may have to start looking into it. We keep shoving it back and trying to not think about it but we need to know what our options are if he gets to be more than we can handle anymore. His mom tried to keep him tonight but he went into a rage because her apartment door hinges were not in the right position according to how he felt they should be so she finally gave up and brought him back home. I had left the refrigerator unlocked, thinking he would be gone for the night, so he grabbed a pudding, ate it and went to bed. Which means I should too.

Betty

[Guest guest]

We never expect to stop fighting or that it will be easy but we do hope to

bring him home as much as possible and to be able to keep on top of

everything as much as possible. Thanks for your imput.

Betty

----- Original Message -----

From: " Olga Kibaya " <olga4k@...>

I guess when you have child

> like ours you never stop the fighting. I can tell you

> that it will never be an easy decision.

>

> Olga

[Guest guest]

Jeanne, Evan's worker at the Regional Center, last year tried to force me to

'voluntarily' put Evan in a group home. Tried to threaten me with CPS if I

would not. We had a big stink about it but I had support from the school and

our doctor AND it turned out from CPS! I was so angry that I demanded a new

worker and was told no, I could not have one but about 6 months later we got

one. She does not have a clue about the group home fiasco but I need to know

what our options are. I keep hoping that I am going to hit on some magic

formular that will help him...like diet, meds, supplements... what ever. As

long as I have breath... and he has breath... I will keep looking for

something that might help him.

Betty

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone, I'm new to this group. Lots of good stuff here! I have

a 9 y.o. son with intermittent self-injurious and aggressive

behavior, mainly head banging. He mainly exhibits this behavior at

home but has head-butted kids at school a few times. I also have an

11 y.o. daughter who has quickly learned when to run for her life

LOL. Our son is short and thin for his age but stronger than he

looks. We tried risperdal but it had no effect whatsoever on his

behavior and he lost some weight while he was on it, which is the

last thing he needs. He is also an extremely picky eater - trying

sensory integration for this but it's not helping much.

Anyway, re. group homes - not all states have these. We live in

Virginia and there are no group homes for children. I'm told that

group homes for adults have waiting lists. There are Medicaid

waivers that provide home-based services, including behavioral

interventions, but the waivers for people with developmental

disabilities have long waiting lists. I told school staff at our

last IEP meeting that we're not sure how much longer we can handle

things at home due to our son's behaviors. Our private special ed

consultant said we needed to call a meeting to access home-based

behavioral interventions as per the state's Comprehensive Services

Act. School staff never brought this up as an option or acknowledged

its existence, it took our consultant to request this service. It's

for children at risk of being placed outside the home (I'm guessing

foster care or other residential placement). Virginia counties fund

these services and parents are expected to make a co-pay based on

household income. We just got approved for 3 months' worth of

services that can be renewed for another 3 months if necessary, now

we're waiting to see if the county has the money. I asked our

consultant what happens if 3-6 months' worth of services don't help

our son, and she said then we could pursue residential placement - as

in a residential private school or center that would be paid for by

the state or county, I don't know which.

I know what y'all (as we say here in the South) mean about hating the

thought of residential placement as our kids get bigger and stronger,

but not being sure how much longer we can care for them. We sure

experience the full range of human emotions with these kids.

> >Not even when they end up in a group home. I am afraid

> that we are going to have to look at that option and I hate the

thought of

> it but he is getting too strong for us, his grandparents, and his

mom cannot

> keep him at home because of his needs<

>

> Is there even such a place...really? Are they safe?

>

>

[Guest guest]

There is a group home in VA.It is run by Mennonites.The name of it is Faith Mission Childrens home. I am not sure of the town. My friend's son who is autistic lives there.

Elaine

Anyway, re. group homes - not all states have these. We live in Virginia and there are no group homes for children.

[Guest guest]

I'm in Michigan and I know there is a place called the St. Louis Center that

is a residental facility. I think its in Brighton or someplace close to

there. I have a friend who had to put her 9 year old there. She's very

happy with the place.

Adrienne

----Original Message Follows----

From: " Betty " <gk37@...>

Reply-autism

<autism >

Subject: Re: Re: group homes

Date: Wed, 12 Jan 2005 22:44:07 -0800

>>Is there even such a place...really? Are they safe>>

That is what we really worry about. On one list I was on, some parents have

found decent and some very good homes but they are not in our state but back

East. I don't know what happened to our list because I cannot get any mail

to or from it right now. The moderator was wondering about closing it down

so I do not know what happened but her son is in a very good home right now.

That is a list for severe to low functioning autism. Evan is considered low-

medium functioning and I am going to miss that list if it closes.

Anyway, there are a few parents who have had to put their children in homes

and they checked out many before they placed their children. There are also

waiting lists. So I want to check with his worker next month about what is

available in group homes. I really had a time with his previous worker who

tried to force me into putting Evan into a home last year. I told her then

that we knew it might come down to that but we were not going to do it until

we had to. After all my tamtrums about it, it looks like we may have to

start looking into it. We keep shoving it back and trying to not think about

it but we need to know what our options are if he gets to be more than we

can handle anymore. His mom tried to keep him tonight but he went into a

rage because her apartment door hinges were not in the right position

according to how he felt they should be so she finally gave up and brought

him back home. I had left the refrigerator unlocked, thinking he would be

gone for the night, so he grabbed a pudding, ate it and went to bed. Which

means I should too.

Betty

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the info. When my son was screened for a Medicaid waiver

I was told there were no group homes for kids, maybe they meant just

in the area where we live.

> There is a group home in VA.It is run by Mennonites.The name of it

is Faith Mission Childrens home. I am not sure of the town. My

friend's son who is autistic lives there.

> Elaine

>

> Anyway, re. group homes - not all states have these. We live in

> Virginia and there are no group homes for children.

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

When the right time comes you will feel it in your

spirit then you will make the move. I talked to my

pastor and we prayed about it. Then I went to Autism

Society in Chapel Hill- North Carolina and one of the

ladies went with me to inspect the class and the home.

My thinking was like - if there is something wrong and

I miss it then someone else will be able to spot. So

take as many people as possible to help you make the

observations bcoz ultimately the final decision is

yours. I also took the case manager and her teacher.

When your child is between the ages of 10 - 18 they go

to an adolescent group home. Once they turn 18 they

are considered adults so they have to move to another

home. With our children every year you fight another

battle. I'm thinking of opening up a group home

myself and provide the care which I think my daughter

needs and deserves. I know its alot of work but I

think the more we get involved as parents the better

it will be for our children. I have foud out that

there is no such a thing as a group home being good

all the time bcoz one year you might have very good

care providers and you are happy but then comes a time

when they have to move on. Then things go back to

anxiety, panicking and all that stuff. I guess when

you have a good year you enjoy it. I have had very

good years and very bad years. Nobody prepared me for

this - I guess you guys are lucky.

Olga

--- Over Stressed <over_stressed_mom@...> wrote:

> I was also considering a group home for my son when

> he gets older. I often think about what people would

> say. I dont want people to think that I am throwing

> my son away. I have to think harder and also do more

> praying. I know that there is no cure for his

> condition. Strength and guidance is what i need.

>

> Olga Kibaya <olga4k@...> wrote:Hi ,

>

> My daughter went to a group home when she was 12.

> It

> was a very difficult decision but in my case it was

> the best. Group homes have their own problems bcoz

> the care providers are paid so little unles one is

> there bcoz of their calling. You have to stay on

> top

> of things. Visit often, talk to the teachers, bring

> your child home as much as you can. Every month you

> fight another battle. I guess when you have child

> like ours you never stop the fighting. I can tell

> you

> that it will never be an easy decision.

>

> Olga

> --- Carlson <cathykay@...> wrote:

>

> > >Not even when they end up in a group home. I am

> > afraid

> > that we are going to have to look at that option

> and

> > I hate the thought of

> > it but he is getting too strong for us, his

> > grandparents, and his mom cannot

> > keep him at home because of his needs<

> >

> > Is there even such a place...really? Are they

> safe?

> >

> >

>

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________

> Do you ?

> - You care about security. So do we.

> http://promotions./new_mail

>

>

> ---------------------------------

>

[Guest guest]

Maybe they just meant run by the government.

Betty

----- Original Message -----

> Thanks for the info. When my son was screened for a Medicaid waiver

> I was told there were no group homes for kids, maybe they meant just

> in the area where we live.

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, , we can bring him back home if we want to and are able to. We do not lose guardianship of him. It is not one of those cases where the parents or guardians must sign the child over to the state just to get help. If it was, things would have to get a lot worse before we did. He can be home on the weekends and we can visit him anytime, although I am not sure that it would be a good idea to visit him during the week. He would be expecting us to take him home if we did. I used to have that problem when I went to his class during the day. As soon as he saw me he was ready to leave and go home. When we check the group home out, Evan will go with us. It is an option that both his worker and I thought is a good idea. The house mother can see how he is and we can see how they relate. If we do not feel that it is safe for Evan we can wait for a different placement. For instance, Evan needs locks on the doors and a fenced yard. He is too quick to bolt if giving the opportunity. One second he will be right beside you and the next second he is either going down the street or in a neighbor's yard trying to get into their house or back yard.

He was more than ready to get out of the house this a.m. after being out of school for a whole week for President's vacation. Then when he got there he did not want to get out of the car! Now the rest of the schools are out for the actually Presidents' Day. let and take a whole week off from homeschool since Evan was off. One thing about their school, she can take whatever days she wants to as long as the boys get their state required 180 days.

Betty

[Guest guest]

My son just move in to a group home in January he has autism and retarded. He

was place right after high school has melt downs hitting, punching. We where

told that was the only way he could get in a group home if he was a danger to

other in the house.But now if he hits anyone he could be removed from the

house. I do not understand if that the only way or unless we died to get your

child in a group home. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT ARE RIGHT FOR ARE SON? They knew

from day I till everyone the truth about are son

STEPHANIE

[Guest guest]

Group homes, day programs are just warehousing people. Your son is so much better off at home. There are many things You can do to help him. Take a look at www.iahp.org for some ideas; and You can call them.

In NY, we've had more than one person die in a group home because of mishandling.

The people who tell parents that are those who wouldn't consider caring for their own child at home.

Trust your love and care more Terry.

Sending You a hug,

Francine

Speak with Him Thou for He hearest.

Spirit with Spirit can speak.

Closer is Love than breathing,

Nearer than hands and feet.

(with appreciation for Tennyson)

group homes

some people tell me my son would be better in a group home.he is high functioning 10 year old.with each passing year i see him falling farther behind as far as maturity and social skills.does anyone know of a group home in south florida.he is currently enrolled in the autism cluster in the palm beach county school system.i would like to investigate every option before i make any decisions

[Guest guest]

Hi Just a word or so, on the group home thing..... if your son was 17 years old and was towering you and out wieghed you by say 40 lbs and he went birzerk on you physically, and assualted you etc.......... you would be in a reasonable position to think seriously about moving hime to a group home. The assault alone may kill you or any other person in their path, such as the family dog or younger sibling, this is my point, I would seriously consider  a group home, of my choice.

Kirkland's

On Wed, Aug 18, 2010 at 1:22 PM, Carolyn <charper777@...> wrote:

 

Hi Francine, I am with you about group homes. I do not think our kids should go live in them. I know a lot of kids have to for one reason or other, but if they don't have to I wouldn't force them to. I looked at

one once when my son was really crazy at home, the " people " who manged his care wanted me to so I went and I did and it was really weird to me, the bedrooms were upstairs, a steep rickety wooden staircase and my son

had SEIZURES! They would just hit him without warning and he would fall down, yet his bedroom would be upstairs...Didn't make sense. I have always been careful for what would hurt him around the house and this was obviously a danger to him and the others

as well, they couldn't find a house with NO stairs for a group home for young men with various disabilities, hmmm. With that kind of judgment I am not going to let my son live with you. No way. Also the guys that

worked there, shifts of guys who were young themselves and who knows what experience they might have. I wasn't going to let my son learn from them the hard way...Also at home my son was always an important part of the family and he

has always known he is. I think this was good for him and has been good for my children and all his nieces and nephews who have come along also They've grown up with Marty in the house crawling around his feet

standing up using his knees as support. I think it has been good for them, has made them aware of disabled people and aware of how to care for them, how much tolerance and love they need...how fortunate they are

for being healthy, all sorts of good things.Carolyn ;o)sunrose101@... wrote:> >> Group homes, day programs are just warehousing people. Your son is so

> much better off at home. There are many things You can do to help > him. Take a look at www.iahp.org <http://www.iahp.org> for some

> ideas; and You can call them.> > In NY, we've had more than one person die in a group home because of > mishandling.> > The people who tell parents that are those who wouldn't consider

> caring for their own child at home.> > Trust your love and care more Terry. > > Sending You a hug,> Francine>> Speak with Him Thou for He hearest.> Spirit with Spirit can speak.

> Closer is Love than breathing,> Nearer than hands and feet.>> (with appreciation for Tennyson)>> group homes>>

> some people tell me my son would be better in a group home.he is high > functioning 10 year old.with each passing year i see him falling > farther behind as far as maturity and social skills.does anyone know

> of a group home in south florida.he is currently enrolled in the > autism cluster in the palm beach county school system.i would like to > investigate every option before i make any decisions>

>