GRIEF: Getting Beyond It Even When You Feel Stuck

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Article Title:

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GRIEF: Getting Beyond It Even When You Feel Stuck

Article Description:

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Grief is the natural emotional response to a significant loss.

The loss of a loved one, an important relationship, a pet, a

career, a belief, some aspect of one's health, an opportunity,

or even a prized possession can trigger a normal grief response.

When we go through grief, we can experience a range of related

emotions.

Additional Article Information:

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741 Words; formatted to 65 Characters per Line

Distribution Date and Time: 2006-08-03 10:12:00

Written By: Steve B.

Copyright: 2006

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GRIEF: Getting Beyond It Even When You Feel Stuck

Copyright © 2006 Steve B.

Psychotherapy Center

http://www.psychotherapy-center.com

THE NORMAL PATH OF GRIEF

Grief is the natural emotional response to a significant loss.

The loss of a loved one, an important relationship, a pet, a

career, a belief, some aspect of one's health, an opportunity,

or even a prized possession can trigger a normal grief response.

When we go through grief, we can experience a range of related

emotions. People may feel shock, regret, anger, sadness, and

eventually acceptance in route to resolving grief. We usually

work our way through these stages in a period that is

proportionate to the loss suffered. In most cases, we eventually

move through the process to arrive at a place of acceptance and a

readiness to look forward in life.

STUCK IN PAINFUL EMOTIONS

For Pam, this healing pattern was not happening. Instead, she

found herself stuck, unable to let go, always looking back at

what was lost. She had a history of being stuck in grief. After

her divorce, she grieved for 6 years. This time she was stuck

grieving the loss of her 2-year relationship with a boyfriend.

It had been going on for a year and a half with no end in sight.

She felt hopelessness, depression and fear.

CAUGHT IN A TRAP

Pam's plight reminds me of a story about catching monkeys. In

some parts of the world, people employ an ingenious method to

catch monkeys. They use a large heavy jar, with an opening just

big enough for the monkey to squeeze a hand through. In the

bottom of the jar, they place a banana as bait. The monkey slips

its hand into the bottle and grabs the banana. Then, holding

tightly to the banana, it is unable to remove its hand from the

jar. It never occurs to the monkey to let go of the banana, so

it remains in the trap. Pam was clinging tightly to the memory

of a lost love. Unable to let go, trapped.

WANTING OUT

Pam did not want to suffer the way she was. She had been in

therapy for years. By now, she was nearly an expert at

behavioral therapy, cognitive therapy and the analysis of her

problems. She understood her dilemma intellectually, but was

helpless to feel better. She was on antidepressant medication,

talked to her friends and spent time attending a grief support

group. Still her pain persisted. She had come to me with the

hope that one of the new forms of treatment that I work with

might help light her way out of the darkness of her grief.

TRYING SOMETHING NEW

The first time I saw Pam, she was in the wake of a painful

rejection. She would frequently call her old boyfriend, try to

get him back but he would coldly reject her effort. She sat in

my office emotionally bleeding as though the scab had been

freshly knocked off her wound. The only thing I could offer to

help ease her suffering was an experimental new treatment. Pam

was in such pain she was open to any option. Therefore, I

briefly told her about a new type of treatment that is more

similar to Chinese Acupuncture than to Freud. It is the REMAP

process and it involved her gently tapping a series of

acupuncture meridians while she thought about the problem that

bothered her. It's a simple yet profound process designed to

adjust the body's natural energy system and to produce blood

flow changes in the deep regions of the brain as a way of

effecting thoughts and emotions. This alternative approach uses

an entirely different pathway to heal emotional pain than talk

therapy alone. Since Pam had tried all other treatment paths,

she was open to the experiment. She began working with the

protocol and to her great surprise her level of disturbance

dropped 60% in 30 minutes. She left smiling and saying that she

could cope with that level of pain.

BEYOND GRIEF

Next week, she reported another call to her ex-boyfriend and

another cruel rejection. However, she also reported something

new, a decision never to call him again. She also reported no

further obsessive thoughts about him and a dramatic improvement

in how she felt, virtually no grief.

Such changes are more common than not. By using leading-edge

therapies, people are able to free themselves from painful

emotions even when they are stuck. The best part is that the

changes last. Three months after Pam's treatment, she still

reports feeling good.

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Steve B. , LPC, LMSW, LMFT is a psychotherapist that

specializes in treating trauma and anxiety disorders including

social phobia. He treats people at his , Texas

office (Dallas area) and through phone counseling worldwide.

You can reach Steve at 972-997-9955 or through his website at:

http://www.psychotherapy-center.com

copyright 1998-2006, Steve B.