giving up

January 14, 2005

Well whitelace we can not give up. Once we give up the pounds will pile on. Remind me what program are you following? You need to get a support system at home. Even if it is a little. find time for you. Maybe make a ME basket. This is a basket in the bathroom with some music, candles, bubble bath, bath salts, nice lotion, or facial stuff. AND when you get down take the basket out and take care of yourself.

NHMom to Abby Liz 10/25/94 Anne 7/1/99

January 14, 2005

----- Original Message -----

From: " Sapphyre " <whitelacefullmoon@...>

>

> Anyone else feel like giving up? I certainly do.

> Besides the groups I'm on I'm getting no support.

Go outside right now! It is an absolutely beautiful day here in south

Texas. Feel better?

How is the new job going? Have you strangled your mom for playing country

music yet? No jury would convict you.

I don't feel like giving up at all! I'm sooooo motivated! Of course I just

started yesterday. hee hee.

I don't know how to maintain motivation for the long haul. There is just

too much temptation in our everyday lives.

Ann

January 14, 2005

Slimaway Everyday. I've only lost 20

pounds since 9/23 ... since the holidays I just can't

stop eating. I've done well yesterday and today

though, I even walked a mile today.

--- Jase4567@... wrote:

> Well whitelace we can not give up. Once we give up

> the pounds will pile on.

> Remind me what program are you following? You need

> to get a support system

> at home. Even if it is a little. find time for

> you. Maybe make a ME

> basket. This is a basket in the bathroom with some

> music, candles, bubble bath,

> bath salts, nice lotion, or facial stuff. AND when

> you get down take the

> basket out and take care of yourself.

>

> NH

> Mom to Abby Liz 10/25/94

> Anne 7/1/99

>

=====

" Is all that we see or seem, but a dream within a dream? " - E.A. Poe

www.geocities.com/sapphyredreamer

www.geocities.com/mothernatureschyld

www.sapphyresearthpage.homestead.com

www.geocities.com/themorpheusmoth

www.livejournal.com/users/rbarcs

www.livejournal.com/users/100gone

__________________________________________________

January 14, 2005

----- Original Message -----

From: " Sapphyre " <whitelacefullmoon@...>

> I don't have a job the last one I had was temporary

> and it ended when I wrecked my car and couldnt make my

> last day .

Bummer. Do you have transportation now?

> Mother's music is part of my problem.

> Her freaking cooking food for me without asking is

> what's making me furious and making me wonder why

> bother!

Ugh!

Ann

January 14, 2005

----- Original Message -----

From: " Sapphyre " <whitelacefullmoon@...>

> and I cannot find another job ... the economy is still

> really sluggish (or so the employers tell me, zillions

> of apps per job offer) ... very frustrating.

How far away are you job hunting? Must be hard in a small town since there

just aren't as many jobs.

> Yea. Wasnt so bad today the bulk of what I ate was

> turnips,

Maybe that's why you're depressed. I know I would be if I were eating lots

of turnips. Actually I don't even know what a turnip tastes

like besides turnip greens.

You are unemployed so try to look on this time as time you can take care of

yourself. You live in a beautiful area. Get out for a nice hike. I know

job hunting can be very depressing and discouraging though. Good luck!

Ann

January 14, 2005

----- Original Message -----

From: " Sapphyre " <whitelacefullmoon@...>

> Slimaway Everyday. I've only lost 20

> pounds since 9/23 ...

Smack! Go to the store and pick up 20 pounds of dog food or something.

It's not " only 20 pounds. " Losing 20 pounds is quite an accomplishment.

Ann

January 15, 2005

Sapphyre wrote:

Anyone else feel like giving up?

On an almost daily basis! Nothing new, and nothing unique. It happens

to *most* large-sized women. It's those who started the HAES - Healthy

At Any Size - and the size-acceptance movements. It's even more

frustrating when you see all these studies that show exactly how little

we should eat and how much we should exercise first to lose this bulk,

and then to eat even less and exercise even more to

keep it off. For people our size, weight loss is a full time job.

If you can't accept that, then just take steps to get healthier

right now. Eat more whole grains and less simple starches; eat

more fruits and veggies; drink more water, broth, and juices and less

soda and artificially sweetened drinks; move your body more in fun ways

- play active games with kids or your peers, dance, window shop while

walking.

Accept yourself for who you are now. I know you're on a very

tight budget right now, but get yourself a good outfit, one to wear to

interviews and special occasions. Find a friend who sews and ask if

she'll make you a simple blazer and skirt (or well-fitting slacks, if

you're a pants person like me) using a pattern by Coni -

http://www.fashionpatterns.com - she'll customize a pattern until it

fits. Get a new haircut at a local beauty school, get makeup advice at

the mall. Once you look more professional you'll gain more confidence

and no matter what your weight you'll present yourself better at

interviews. Act as if you *deserve* it, because you DO! Your

worth is not based on what you weigh!

Now, even though you still have weight-loss in mind, maybe you should

look into some of the size acceptance sites and lists. You'll find oodles

of people, from size 14's to 64's, who have come to terms with who

they are, and share all kinds of info and support in living life as

large-sized people. Some are still attempting weight loss, mostly for

medical reasons, but most aren't, but health is still achievable no

matter what you weigh.

First stop is the Gab Café associated with the Fat!So? web

site and book by Marilyn Wann (I also suggest reading that book - ask

your library to get it for you if they don't have it already.)

http://www.fatso.com

Nice, supportive and active mailing lists are here on . Go to the

main Groups page http:// and put in a search for SizeWise

and a few lists will appear.

A list that started out for finding plus-sized clothing in Australia

and just expanded to everything plus-sized internationally is Don't

Tell Me What Size I Must Be

donttellmewhatsizeimustb

Weight loss is achievable, but like I said, it's hard work and

will be a lifelong struggle. What's more important is your health,

both physical and mental. The people on the message board and lists I

mentioned will help support you as you are and help you become what you

want to be.

Sue in NJ

January 15, 2005

Sapphyre wrote:

> Slimaway Everyday. I've only lost 20

>pounds since 9/23 ...

>

20 pounds is a great start, but you recently complained of hitting a

plateau, right? After that much loss your body needs to regroup before

it starts losing again.

BUT

> since the holidays I just can't stop eating.

>

You've got to stay the course, get back on your food & exercise plan, if

you want to either stay at your current weight or start losing again.

Ann gave you a few ideas, including those headphones ;-) , but you

need to get yourself back into some sort of routine again. Follow up on

those hints I gave you in the other message, and even in this awful

economy you should be able to get *some* kind of job sooner or later.

Until then, why not do volunteer work somewhere? Even that looks good on

a resumé, and it'll get you away from your mom and the kitchen.

> I've done well yesterday and today

>though, I even walked a mile today.

>

A mile is good to start, but for weight loss you're going to have to do

way more than that. Are you also doing the BlastOff videos scheduled

each day in the SlimAway program, or just following the food plan? You

need to do the exercise daily (Well, gives you one day off).

Sue in NJ

January 15, 2005

Sue, Thank you for this excellent message. There are a lot of us who are discouraged.

Sapphyre,

I joined Prism, a Christian weight loss program, which allows no sugar or flour. The idea is that our bodies are not made for refined products. The way they address turning down unwanted treats that people push on you as "you would not push alcohol on an alcoholic, this is like alcohol to me".

Alcoholics Anonymous motto seems to be "one day at a time".

That is the only way I am getting through this. "one bite at a time". I screwed up at breakfast. Lunch is a new meal, a new chance to get back to where I need to go.

I have over 200 pounds to lose. I have an autistic son. I have parents whose health is beginning to fail. I have depression, Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome/ pre diabetes and am high functioning autistic myself. I only want to say that there are many of us who are struggling with our own reasons to quit and give up. Each reason is valid for each of us.

But we all have even greater reasons to succeed - because we deserve to have a good and long life. Your worth is not defined in how you look, what you own, what job or education you have. Your worth is in the fact that you are.

Keep up the good fight. We did not gain this weight in a month, we will not lose it in a month.

Thank you for your support. I hope that in some way in my disjointed way, I can contribute some bit of support.

I will leave the intelligent organized answers to Sue. But I wanted to let you know that there are more people out there that are pulling for you. Just because some of us lurk and don't answer many emails doesn't mean that you are not in our thoughts.

Thanks to the list for support and information from a background reader/lurker.

Becky H.

Re: Giving Up

Sapphyre wrote:

Anyone else feel like giving up? On an almost daily basis! Nothing new, and nothing unique. It happens to *most* large-sized women. It's those who started the HAES - Healthy At Any Size - and the size-acceptance movements. It's even more frustrating when you see all these studies that show exactly how little we should eat and how much we should exercise first to lose this bulk, and then to eat even less and exercise even more to keep it off. For people our size, weight loss is a full time job.If you can't accept that, then just take steps to get healthier right now. Eat more whole grains and less simple starches; eat more fruits and veggies; drink more water, broth, and juices and less soda and artificially sweetened drinks; move your body more in fun ways - play active games with kids or your peers, dance, window shop while walking.Accept yourself for who you are now. I know you're on a very tight budget right now, but get yourself a good outfit, one to wear to interviews and special occasions. Find a friend who sews and ask if she'll make you a simple blazer and skirt (or well-fitting slacks, if you're a pants person like me) using a pattern by Coni - http://www.fashionpatterns.com - she'll customize a pattern until it fits. Get a new haircut at a local beauty school, get makeup advice at the mall. Once you look more professional you'll gain more confidence and no matter what your weight you'll present yourself better at interviews. Act as if you *deserve* it, because you DO! Your worth is not based on what you weigh!Now, even though you still have weight-loss in mind, maybe you should look into some of the size acceptance sites and lists. You'll find oodles of people, from size 14's to 64's, who have come to terms with who they are, and share all kinds of info and support in living life as large-sized people. Some are still attempting weight loss, mostly for medical reasons, but most aren't, but health is still achievable no matter what you weigh. First stop is the Gab Café associated with the Fat!So? web site and book by Marilyn Wann (I also suggest reading that book - ask your library to get it for you if they don't have it already.) http://www.fatso.com Nice, supportive and active mailing lists are here on . Go to the main Groups page http:// and put in a search for SizeWise and a few lists will appear. A list that started out for finding plus-sized clothing in Australia and just expanded to everything plus-sized internationally is Don't Tell Me What Size I Must Be donttellmewhatsizeimustbWeight loss is achievable, but like I said, it's hard work and will be a lifelong struggle. What's more important is your health, both physical and mental. The people on the message board and lists I mentioned will help support you as you are and help you become what you want to be.Sue in NJMotivation is my "secret weapon" to reaching my goal. - - - 100-Plus Files page 100-plus/files100-Plus Links page 100-plus/links

January 15, 2005

every time I pass a fast food restaurant - every morning when I'd rather hit

the snooze alarm and the minute I walk into my mom's house! I haven't had

but 1 perfect day but they are all better than they were 2 weeks ago. Keep

your chin up - we can do this

Giving Up

>

--

No virus found in this outgoing message.

Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.

Version: 7.0.300 / Virus Database: 265.6.11 - Release Date: 1/12/2005

January 15, 2005

First, it's still a lose - hold on to it - be proud! and it looks like you've regained control - good job

Re: Giving Up

Slimaway Everyday. I've only lost 20pounds since 9/23 ... since the holidays I just can'tstop eating. I've done well yesterday and todaythough, I even walked a mile today.

No virus found in this outgoing message.

Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.

Version: 7.0.300 / Virus Database: 265.6.11 - Release Date: 1/12/2005

January 15, 2005

she may think she's doing you favor by cooking for you - or showing love etc. Have you told not to or explained you wouldn't mind if she cooked what was on your menu?

Re: Giving Up

I don't have a job the last one I had was temporaryand it ended when I wrecked my car and couldnt make mylast day . Mother's music is part of my problem. Her freaking cooking food for me without asking iswhat's making me furious and making me wonder whybother!

No virus found in this outgoing message.

Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.

Version: 7.0.300 / Virus Database: 265.6.11 - Release Date: 1/12/2005

January 15, 2005

>I will leave the

intelligent organized answers to Sue.

Who? Me? Intelligent and organized?

She don't know me vewwy well, do she?

Sue in NJ

January 16, 2005

That's great! 20 pounds is awesome... Pat yourself on the back,,,,

Keep up the good work.

Jackie S.

> Slimaway

Everyday. I've only lost 20

> pounds since 9/23 ...

Smack! Go to the store and pick up 20 pounds of dog food or

something.

It's not " only 20 pounds. " Losing 20 pounds is quite an

accomplishment.

Ann

Motivation is my " secret weapon " to reaching my goal. - - -

100-Plus Files page

100-plus/files

100-Plus Links page

100-plus/links

December 7, 2011

Anybody out there just feel like giving up and being sick? I am so tired of

feeling like crap, yet everything I try just doesn't work. It all started in

March of 2007 when I miscarried. My body never quite recovered. I got pregnant

a few months later with my son and turned into a monster. I never lost any

weight from the baby before. I woke up starving and would get sick if I didn't

eat. I slept the whole pregnancy. My 3 year daughter spent the entire 9 months

on the couch watching TV while mommie slept. I gained 75 lbs and couldn't walk

at the end. My son was 11 lbs 4 oz and 22 3/4inches. Epidurals didn't work.

No c-section. The quack doctor stopped measuring me at 36 weeks and said he

would be as big as he is going to be. I went into shock and almost bled to

death. Had I not been praying out loud the whole delivery I would have died.

Now I almost wish I had. My son is 3 years old now and I am still a monster. I

found a new doc after his delivery and found my TSH was 100. She put me on

Synthroid. I only got worse from there. I had terrible post partum depression

to the point that 1 hour after he was born I kept envisioning putting him in my

hand and throwing him into the wall. This stopped when my TSH was normal, but I

still had an explosive hair trigger temper. i used to be so nice and caring and

compassionate. After 17 months on synthroid I found another doc to put me on

Armour. I have had some symptoms go away. I started Iodoral a year ago. I am

up to 50mgs and still feel like crap. I am still mean with no energy, can't

concentrate or function. I moved and another doc did a u/s of my throid. I

have 3 nodules. one is complex. She hasn't contacted me about what to do from

here and I am really just ready to give up and be sick. Anyone have a similar

experience. I am really emotional right now and would love some encouragement.

I just want to be better. I want to be the person I used to be. I have taken

so many supplements and I can't afford them. THey aren't really doing anything

anyway.

December 8, 2011

I am in the Houston Texas area now.

All of the madness started in Alaska. The medical care is not that great there.

After 17 months on Synthyroid I started looking for answers online. I found the

Stopthethyroidmadess site. So I approached my new doc about putting me on

Armour. She had never done that before. Everything was great for awhile and

then I slowly started feeling like crap again. So I went back to the internet

again. I ordered the saliva test and everything was normal except my night time

cortisol. it was 0.2L normal ng/ml 0.4-1.0. I asked my doc about putting me on

Cortisone. She was hesitant about that and decided to do nothing. So I started

looking for adrenal stuff online. I came across a website that talked about

healing thyroid with Iodine. I ordered it.

I started off on 4 Iodorals. I had the worst headache and felt like my eyes

were going to explode. I took it for about a week or two and emailed the site

where I got them. He said to stop taking them because I could be causing a

thyroid storm. So I stopped.

A few weeks later when I went to the eye doctor. He said the vision in my

left eye had actually improved. I told him about the iodine and he said that had

nothing to do with it, but wanted to repeat an eye exam in 3 months.

I started looking up more info on Iodine. I went back to the site that I

bought them from and noticed you should take adrenal support with the iodoral.

So I ordered some of it.

I might be getting things out of sequence. It has been so long ago since I

did all of this.

Anyway I bought the Iodine book from Dr Brownstien and the Thyroid book. I

told my doc I was taking iodine to help with my thyroid. She said she didn't

know anything about iodine. We had to lower my Armour several times. I was

finally on 30mgs and my doctor moved. I thought I would continue working with

my new doc.

She was ok at first and then started consulting with other docs and became Dead

set against the iodine. She ordered blood testing of iodine. I told her to

order the urine. I don't remember what the results were, but she called me with

the results and said they were so high that I could die. I got scared for

awhile, but continued taking them.

At some point I got a copy of 'The Original Internist' special edition

Iodine:the universal nutrient " for free by emailing optimox@....

I showed it to every doc that i saw. Non would look at it. I poured over all

the info in it to the best of my ability. I am an LVN so some of it I could

understand, but a lot of it I had to research. Anyway I have read countless

Iodine blogs of others and read what they have done and taken since no doctor

will help me. At one point I was on

selenium 200mgs

Optivite vitamin

zinc 50mgs

vitamin C 3000mgs

Iodoral 50mgs

vitamin D

Adrenal Energy by New sun

and a few others on the way.

I have had to cut back on my supplements and now am on Alive for Women, Iodoral

50mgs, zinc, vita C, Adrenal Energy.

I have gone through all of the detox symptoms. I haven't told my new doc about

the Iodoral as most docs are against it. I don't feel as bad as I did when this

all began, but I don't feel as good as I did before it began. My pocket book

can't afford all the supplements anymore. so are there short cuts? I am sorry

this is so long, I am just thankful you have listened to me.

I got a call that the doc wants me to have a consult with the Endocrinologist.

My sister said demand they biopsy all of the nodules. When I was 10 I had a

x-ray of my neck and a benign cyst removed. I remember them putting the

weighted vest on my body. I keep reading that child hood radiation exposure

increases your risk of cancer. I have been on Iodoral for over a year now. I

hope that it has helped and not caused this. And my poor kids still watch too

much TV. That is the only way I can concentrate while I clean or cook without

the interrupting. ;-}

>

> If I could reach through the computer and give you a big hug I would. I have

been where you are in many ways and I remember how hard it was. I was the

screaming mom who resented her children because they interrupted my resting

time. My husband disappeared on me too - he couldn't take it so he would golf,

play basketball and softball to avoid the issue. I resented him too. He could

have a life and I was stuck. I had horrible postpartum too but for me it was

fear. I never wanted to harm my children I just had extreme unreasonable fear.

My OB/Gyn's solution ..... zoloft. I am glad I didn't take it because now so

many warnings are coming out about the risks associated with it and your

children. I was dx'd with thyroid cancer when my son was 4 mos old. From this

point on I had 2 thyroid surgeries (after a c-section) and a RAI treatment. I

am an only child and had no family to help. Everyone told me that it was a good

thing I had the " good cancer " ant that angered me because I HAD CANCER - no one

got that. I had one friend who brought me meals once a week and for that I was

blessed. But I felt so isolated too. My children spent the first years of

their lives in front of Blues Clues, Baby Einstein videos, Teletubbies and

Barney. I felt so guilty. I was the worst mom - but I didn't have it in me to

do anything different. I was on Synthroid and I told my doctor that I didn't

feel right - so he would increase or decrease my thyroid meds. I told him I

never felt this way before losing my thyroid. He discounted the connection and

offered more anti depressants. When I finally found an ND that would help me

and then shared with my Endo what I was doing, he mocked me and sneered at the

thought that a liver detox and nutritional supplements could make a difference

in my life. I cried each time I left his office totally frustrated from what I

now view as medical abuse. Those who were supposed to be helping me heal were

not. I went through 7 doctors before finding Dr Brownstein. His parting words

to me on my first appointment were " don't worry we will get you well " . This was

the first time any doctor offered an option of getting well. I had hope.

>

> Your symptoms tell me that you are more than likely hypo adrenal. Rage and

extreme fatigue are the tandem relationship of low thyroid and low adrenals.

>

> Where are you located? Maybe someone can recommend a doctor that will help

you. Please hang in there because it just takes one person to get you back on

track. It took me 6 years to find that person. I did not have the support

groups that are available now.

>

> Buist, ND HC

>

> giving up

>

> Anybody out there just feel like giving up and being sick? I am so tired of

feeling like crap, yet everything I try just doesn't work. It all started in

March of 2007 when I miscarried. My body never quite recovered. I got pregnant a

few months later with my son and turned into a monster. I never lost any weight

from the baby before. I woke up starving and would get sick if I didn't eat. I

slept the whole pregnancy. My 3 year daughter spent the entire 9 months on the

couch watching TV while mommie slept. I gained 75 lbs and couldn't walk at the

end. My son was 11 lbs 4 oz and 22 3/4inches. Epidurals didn't work. No

c-section. The quack doctor stopped measuring me at 36 weeks and said he would

be as big as he is going to be. I went into shock and almost bled to death. Had

I not been praying out loud the whole delivery I would have died. Now I almost

wish I had. My son is 3 years old now and I am still a monster. I found a new

doc after his delivery and found my TSH was 100. She put me on Synthroid. I only

got worse from there. I had terrible post partum depression to the point that 1

hour after he was born I kept envisioning putting him in my hand and throwing

him into the wall. This stopped when my TSH was normal, but I still had an

explosive hair trigger temper. i used to be so nice and caring and

compassionate. After 17 months on synthroid I found another doc to put me on

Armour. I have had some symptoms go away. I started Iodoral a year ago. I am up

to 50mgs and still feel like crap. I am still mean with no energy, can't

concentrate or function. I moved and another doc did a u/s of my throid. I have

3 nodules. one is complex. She hasn't contacted me about what to do from here

and I am really just ready to give up and be sick. Anyone have a similar

experience. I am really emotional right now and would love some encouragement. I

just want to be better. I want to be the person I used to be. I have taken so

many supplements and I can't afford them. THey aren! 't really doing anything

anyway.

>

December 8, 2011

I'm thinking the anger may be excess testosterone. Have you had progesterone, testosterone and estrogen levels measured? Good luck, Norine From: "husseyjohn@..." <husseyjohn@...> iodine Sent: Thursday, December 8, 2011 9:46 AM Subject: Re: giving up

I am in the Houston Texas area now.

All of the madness started in Alaska. The medical care is not that great there. After 17 months on Synthyroid I started looking for answers online. I found the Stopthethyroidmadess site. So I approached my new doc about putting me on Armour. She had never done that before. Everything was great for awhile and then I slowly started feeling like crap again. So I went back to the internet again. I ordered the saliva test and everything was normal except my night time cortisol. it was 0.2L normal ng/ml 0.4-1.0. I asked my doc about putting me on Cortisone. She was hesitant about that and decided to do nothing. So I started looking for adrenal stuff online. I came across a website that talked about healing thyroid with Iodine. I ordered it.

I started off on 4 Iodorals. I had the worst headache and felt like my eyes were going to explode. I took it for about a week or two and emailed the site where I got them. He said to stop taking them because I could be causing a thyroid storm. So I stopped.

A few weeks later when I went to the eye doctor. He said the vision in my left eye had actually improved. I told him about the iodine and he said that had nothing to do with it, but wanted to repeat an eye exam in 3 months.

I started looking up more info on Iodine. I went back to the site that I bought them from and noticed you should take adrenal support with the iodoral. So I ordered some of it.

I might be getting things out of sequence. It has been so long ago since I did all of this.

Anyway I bought the Iodine book from Dr Brownstien and the Thyroid book. I told my doc I was taking iodine to help with my thyroid. She said she didn't know anything about iodine. We had to lower my Armour several times. I was finally on 30mgs and my doctor moved. I thought I would continue working with my new doc.

She was ok at first and then started consulting with other docs and became Dead set against the iodine. She ordered blood testing of iodine. I told her to order the urine. I don't remember what the results were, but she called me with the results and said they were so high that I could die. I got scared for awhile, but continued taking them.

At some point I got a copy of 'The Original Internist' special edition Iodine:the universal nutrient" for free by emailing optimox@....

I showed it to every doc that i saw. Non would look at it. I poured over all the info in it to the best of my ability. I am an LVN so some of it I could understand, but a lot of it I had to research. Anyway I have read countless Iodine blogs of others and read what they have done and taken since no doctor will help me. At one point I was on

selenium 200mgs

Optivite vitamin

zinc 50mgs

vitamin C 3000mgs

Iodoral 50mgs

vitamin D

Adrenal Energy by New sun

and a few others on the way.

I have had to cut back on my supplements and now am on Alive for Women, Iodoral 50mgs, zinc, vita C, Adrenal Energy.

I have gone through all of the detox symptoms. I haven't told my new doc about the Iodoral as most docs are against it. I don't feel as bad as I did when this all began, but I don't feel as good as I did before it began. My pocket book can't afford all the supplements anymore. so are there short cuts? I am sorry this is so long, I am just thankful you have listened to me.

I got a call that the doc wants me to have a consult with the Endocrinologist. My sister said demand they biopsy all of the nodules. When I was 10 I had a x-ray of my neck and a benign cyst removed. I remember them putting the weighted vest on my body. I keep reading that child hood radiation exposure increases your risk of cancer. I have been on Iodoral for over a year now. I hope that it has helped and not caused this. And my poor kids still watch too much TV. That is the only way I can concentrate while I clean or cook without the interrupting. ;-}

>

> If I could reach through the computer and give you a big hug I would. I have been where you are in many ways and I remember how hard it was. I was the screaming mom who resented her children because they interrupted my resting time. My husband disappeared on me too - he couldn't take it so he would golf, play basketball and softball to avoid the issue. I resented him too. He could have a life and I was stuck. I had horrible postpartum too but for me it was fear. I never wanted to harm my children I just had extreme unreasonable fear. My OB/Gyn's solution ..... zoloft. I am glad I didn't take it because now so many warnings are coming out about the risks associated with it and your children. I was dx'd with thyroid cancer when my son was 4 mos old. From this point on I had 2 thyroid surgeries (after a c-section) and a RAI treatment. I am an only child and had no family to help. Everyone told me that it was a good thing I had the "good

cancer" ant that angered me because I HAD CANCER - no one got that. I had one friend who brought me meals once a week and for that I was blessed. But I felt so isolated too. My children spent the first years of their lives in front of Blues Clues, Baby Einstein videos, Teletubbies and Barney. I felt so guilty. I was the worst mom - but I didn't have it in me to do anything different. I was on Synthroid and I told my doctor that I didn't feel right - so he would increase or decrease my thyroid meds. I told him I never felt this way before losing my thyroid. He discounted the connection and offered more anti depressants. When I finally found an ND that would help me and then shared with my Endo what I was doing, he mocked me and sneered at the thought that a liver detox and nutritional supplements could make a difference in my life. I cried each time I left his office totally frustrated from what I now view as medical abuse. Those who were

supposed to be helping me heal were not. I went through 7 doctors before finding Dr Brownstein. His parting words to me on my first appointment were "don't worry we will get you well". This was the first time any doctor offered an option of getting well. I had hope.

>

> Your symptoms tell me that you are more than likely hypo adrenal. Rage and extreme fatigue are the tandem relationship of low thyroid and low adrenals.

>

> Where are you located? Maybe someone can recommend a doctor that will help you. Please hang in there because it just takes one person to get you back on track. It took me 6 years to find that person. I did not have the support groups that are available now.

>

> Buist, ND HC

>

> giving up

>

> Anybody out there just feel like giving up and being sick? I am so tired of feeling like crap, yet everything I try just doesn't work. It all started in March of 2007 when I miscarried. My body never quite recovered. I got pregnant a few months later with my son and turned into a monster. I never lost any weight from the baby before. I woke up starving and would get sick if I didn't eat. I slept the whole pregnancy. My 3 year daughter spent the entire 9 months on the couch watching TV while mommie slept. I gained 75 lbs and couldn't walk at the end. My son was 11 lbs 4 oz and 22 3/4inches. Epidurals didn't work. No c-section. The quack doctor stopped measuring me at 36 weeks and said he would be as big as he is going to be. I went into shock and almost bled to death. Had I not been praying out loud the whole delivery I would have died. Now I almost wish I had. My son is 3 years old now and I am still a monster. I found a new doc after his delivery

and found my TSH was 100. She put me on Synthroid. I only got worse from there. I had terrible post partum depression to the point that 1 hour after he was born I kept envisioning putting him in my hand and throwing him into the wall. This stopped when my TSH was normal, but I still had an explosive hair trigger temper. i used to be so nice and caring and compassionate. After 17 months on synthroid I found another doc to put me on Armour. I have had some symptoms go away. I started Iodoral a year ago. I am up to 50mgs and still feel like crap. I am still mean with no energy, can't concentrate or function. I moved and another doc did a u/s of my throid. I have 3 nodules. one is complex. She hasn't contacted me about what to do from here and I am really just ready to give up and be sick. Anyone have a similar experience. I am really emotional right now and would love some encouragement. I just want to be better. I want to be the person I used to be. I

have taken so many supplements and I can't afford them. THey aren! 't really doing anything anyway.

>

December 9, 2011

Dr. Loretta Lanphier, a longtime member of this list, is near you in The

Woodlands, TX.

Here is a link to her website: http://www.oasisadvancedwellness.com/

You can also do a forum search for her posts by typing Dr. Lanphier into the

search box.

> >

> > If I could reach through the computer and give you a big hug I would. I

have been where you are in many ways and I remember how hard it was. I was the