Do You Have A Case Of 'The Stucks'?

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Article Title:

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Do You Have A Case Of 'The Stucks'?

Article Description:

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We all get stuck from time-to-time somewhere in our lives. This

article talks about where in their lives people get stuck, and it

includes some real life client stories about where people got

stuck and what they did to get unstuck.

Additional Article Information:

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1605 Words; formatted to 65 Characters per Line

Distribution Date and Time: 2006-10-22 08:12:00

Written By: Carol Chanel

Copyright: 2006

Contact Email: mailto:carol.chanel@...

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Do You Have A Case Of 'The Stucks'?

Copyright © 2006 Carol Chanel

Certified Life Coach

http://www.carolchanel.com/

The Four Things You Need to Do To Get Unstuck

Are you stuck? It happens to most of us at various times in our

lives.It happens to most of us at various times in our lives.

And the thing about being stuck is that it feels like you'll

never get unstuck.

Before we can figure out how to get unstuck let's look at what

being stuck means. To do that I want to give you some examples

from my clients.

STUCK IN HER CAREER

One of my previous clients came to me and was very stuck around

the area of her career. She had a classic case of " the golden

handcuffs. " She didn't like what she was doing anymore, but she

was very well paid for it.

She didn't want to decrease her income and she didn't know what

she wanted to do with her life. She didn't know her life

purpose, what work would give her life meaning.

So we went to worked on the 'life purpose' portion first.

We helped her discover her values and honor them. It's one

thing to know know your valuesthem, it's another to truly live

your life by them. And by the way, values aren't morals, they

are intrinsic to you – you are born with them. And when you

aren't living your life according to your values – your life

feels awful and you can get stuck.

As my client and I worked together she finally got clear on her

life purpose and realized what her next steps were going to be.

She quit her job as a CPA, got a part time job making in the high

five 5 figures, and went back to to school to become to get her

masters in psychology. She moved to another city, made new

friends, and is doing great really well in grad school.

She went fFrom stuck to moving forward in her career.

STUCK AND OUT OF BALANCE

Let's look at another example. I had a client who was highly

very successful and highly stuck in the areas of balance and

relationships. They were interconnected because she worked all

the time and had " no life. " You can't have a life if you work

15- hour days, six or seven 6 or 7 days a week. You are

exhausted, you can't exercise, probably don't eat right, can't

meet new people and your health is probably suffering. And that

was the case with this client. That was her case. She was stuck

- working all the time and hated her life. And, of course, she

physically felt awful and she didn't have the energy to date and

hadn't for quite a while.

The first thing we did was to have her draw some boundaries and

take four days off from work. You might think that sounds easy,

but to someone who is stuck, is very this is difficult to do.

She was scared to death that thought she would lose her job, and

she didn't have any friends so she didn't know what to with

four days of vacation.do for four days.

As it turned out, she slept for four days. Over about a three-

month period, we worked to have her increase her boundaries to ,

not only , cut back her work hours – shorter days, no weekends -

start; o start an exercise program and to schedule a real

vacation. As she honored her boundaries - no small feat – she

began to feel healthy again, started making friends, and joined a

gym. and started exercising again, She also and took a three-

week vacation to Italy that includedand one week of that was

biking.

She went from stuck and out of balance with no friends or dates,

to dating, vacationing, exercising and , doing fun things with

friends. And and guess what? Sshe got a huge raise.

This client went from stuck and out of balance to happy and

richer!

STUCK IN HIS LOVE LIFE

You can see by now that with the guidance of a trained

professional there are specific steps or actions you can take to

get unstuck. Are you beginning to see that there are some

definite things, that with the guidance of a trained professional

that you could do to get unstuck.

Let's look at one more example. I had a client who was stuck in

the area of his love life. To quote him: 'his love life

sucked.' And he was miserable because of it.

He was stuck and couldn't move out of feeling badly about

himself and thought he would never meet anyone. And here's the

thing – he was successful, handsome, fit, healthy, really smart,

dressed beautifully and was a great guy. Only he didn't know

it.

So what do you do with a guy who is stuck in the area of love?

You teach him about love. And have him look at why he was afraid

of love and, in his case, kept pushing it away. I think most of

us can agree that being sStuck without any love or hope of love

in your life, feels awful.

So we had him look at why he protected himself, had him start to

draw boundaries, did a lot of work in the spiritual realm around

quieting his ego. You know that critical voice that says the

most unbelievable things to you. 'You idiot how could you have

said anything so stupid, she'll probably never want to go out

with you now.' Or, 'Are you out of your mind, you can't ask

that beautiful woman out, she'd never say yes to you.' Theose

are the thoughts , that stop you before you really get going.

As he worked to quiet that critical voice, he began to see the

good qualities he had, that he had a lot of friends, and that his

past behavior and choices had just been a protective mechanism.

He worked hard to be vulnerable, to admit his good qualities, and

when he made a mistake he learned to course correct and keep

moving.

And now he's repaired an old relationship and is dating a

gorgeous beautiful woman.

He went from stuck and a love life that sucked to love with a

loving relationship and a quieter mind.

These three people were all suffered from a chronic case of

'the stucks' and they all did very specific things to get

unstuck.

Let's look at what they did. In the first case the client

discovered and honored her values and quieted her critical voice

that said she didn't know what she wanted to do and would never

know. She began to trust that she had a purpose. Aand guess

what? It it showed up.

With the second client who was stuck in balance and friendships,

she really worked on developing and honoring her boundaries, got

clear on and honored her values and honored those, and began to

believe in her own personal value. She began to trust herself

and developed a great life and made more money.

The third client learned to quiet that critical voice, discovered

his values, developed good boundaries, and started trusting that

he was a really good guy.

So what's the answer to getting unstuck?:

You'll need to know and do the following things:

Boundaries – strong, firm; you stick to your boundaries once you

draw them.

Values – not morals – things like integrity, freedom, full self-

expression, romance, accomplishment and many, many more., Eeach

individual has their own. You need to honor your values once you

are clear about them.

Quieting the Critical Voice – the ego will try to protect you and

keep you from changing, i.e. getting unstuck. Your job is to

notice that voice and choose another perspective. So when you

hear the criticism, you replace it with a new, positive

perspective that you can truly believe. 'You'll never have the

relationship you want' to 'I am dating and meeting wonderful

people.' 'I am safe to love and have a committed

relationship.' 'I am in an exciting, loving, fun, committed

relationship.' Whatever works for what you can believe at each

stage.

The learning here is knowing what the critical voice is saying

and the doing is to replace it with a positive perspective.

The fourth and most crucial thing that everyone must have to get

unstuck is TRUST. You have to believe that you can do it, trust

yourself, trust the universe and trust those helping you to get

unstuck. You have to learn to TRUST and have FAITH.

Trying It is very difficult to get unstuck by yourself isn't

easy. I know. I was stuck trying to market my business and

needed to find the perfect person to help me. I knew my values

and so I knew I needed to listen to what was true for me, draw my

boundaries around what I was willing to change and quiet the

voice that said I didn't know how to market. Then I had to

trust the man I hired - trust that he was a brilliant marketing

person who could help me. And he did just that. And I am no

longer stuck in the area of marketing my business and, in fact,

now it's fun!!

I wish you a fun and enjoyable adventure as you begin to get

unstuck. One last and very important piece of advice – it takes

time. It's a process. Be patient and compassionate with

yourself. Once you set your mind to it, you'll look back three

to six months from now and say – " Wow, I am unstuck. Hurray!!! "

Happy getting unstuck!!

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Carol Chanel is a Certified Personal Life Coach who works with

people by phone, from all over the world, to help them get

UNSTUCK, have more self-confidence, feel inspired and attract

romantic, healthy relationships.

You can contact her at:

http://www.carolchanel.com

carol@...

310-998-8860