At a Loss

[Guest guest]

Barry,

Here in California, if the school system does not follow the IEP or do what is necessary for the child then they are obligated to pay for survises elsewhere. I would highly reccomend looking for another school for your son. I would look for one that will accommadate him and you. You may have to look at private schools, that may be your only option, but they do help out financially. I have my kids place in a private school and they bend over backwards for my boys. Zander is the one who has HFA. His preschool class is wonderful, and he gets the attention that he needs, and the help that he needs. My point is, that you have to do what will work for your son, and moving schools seems to be the only option.

CorinneBarry Hitchcock <bazndeb@...> wrote:

If anyone else reads this please read bottom post first to follow along:

Since I posted the bottom post I called the school counselor today just asking how my son was doing. I did have other things I wanted to discuss. They are doing as the company that tested for aspergers as they suggested but one that doesn’t make any sense. Especially since I know how his room teacher feels, she doesn’t like him leaving the class because she can’t teach him everything there is to know for the year. The company suggested that he be sent to fourth grade reading and be graded within that class room instead of hers. When I confronted them today about it they say “because he isn’t finishing his 2nd grade work he cannot go to another class, it’s illegal”. What I don’t understand is how they can tell me when I have concerns over bad grades he is bringing home for my signature on a consistent basis, but yet still passing highly. The point I was

trying to make here is if he is making good grades all in all what does it matter if he does the work or not? The counselor was headed towards the meaning why he doesn’t finish his work, defiance. I was outraged! This school counselor is a Doctor! She knows better. The thing is it maybe somewhat of defiance, after all they are keeping him away from his break to make him finish his work! Funny thing is I never see those finished work, good grades. What’s up with that? I have I then topped it off with, “Take a look at his records since kindergarten since he has been at this school he has had a problem with focusing, staying on task, daydreams, defiance. Heck, the first grade teacher took him to the kindergarten class so he could “learn to follow directions”. I don’t know what else to do here I feel as if I have talked until I am blue in the face, by the time I can do something about it as usual, it will be another school year and I will be fighting the same battle until he gets

out of this school. Suggestions Please……Please…

RE: Homework

Hiya…don’t get me started on school. I continually get graded papers weekly with the same topic. Written in red it’s always Devin had more time to finish his work than any others, was given xx amount of time to complete. The work will have a bad grade on it because he has skipped problems-not finished. IM so beyond this I want to rush down to the school and tell them a thing or two. I know I would only be heard in one ear and out the other.

2nd Grade my Devin is to complete a math work sheet, a literature work sheet and study spelling words. Tonight was a bit better with his homework just to get him started was a challenge. The way they were going to handle this before, he was to be sent to another teachers room to help him stay on task, to get his work done. But only during HIS break time! That seems so unfair and I agree where I read earlier in a post….they need this break to work off the excessive energy!

Anyway, These teachers need to give this already extremely bright kids a break! < agree!!!!!!!

[Guest guest]

What you need to do is get a diagnosis for your child. Without a diagnosis with an IEP or BIP (behavioral Intervention Plan) your not going to get anything from the school as far as help with the behavior that is disruptive. If he is diagnosed with Aspergers then he may require an Aide with him do exercizes for sensory when he is having issues. And, as far as pulling him out for "extra" help then its not his responsibility to recover the work, its the special education departments! If he needs extra one on one time to complete his work then he should be sent to the resource room for that. I have a 9 year old Aspergers fully integrated child if you have any questions...I am willing to help you! Good luck

-- RE: Homework

Hiya…don’t get me started on school. I continually get graded papers weekly with the same topic. Written in red it’s always Devin had more time to finish his work than any others, was given xx amount of time to complete. The work will have a bad grade on it because he has skipped problems-not finished. IM so beyond this I want to rush down to the school and tell them a thing or two. I know I would only be heard in one ear and out the other.

2nd Grade my Devin is to complete a math work sheet, a literature work sheet and study spelling words. Tonight was a bit better with his homework just to get him started was a challenge. The way they were going to handle this before, he was to be sent to another teachers room to help him stay on task, to get his work done. But only during HIS break time! That seems so unfair and I agree where I read earlier in a post….they need this break to work off the excessive energy!

Anyway, These teachers need to give this already extremely bright kids a break! < agree!!!!!!!

[Guest guest]

Out of curiosity, have you considered homeschooling? I'm not saying it works for everyone, and I don't know your personal situation so I'm not sure if it's feasible (meaning, if you work full-time, then it obviously is different) but a lot of people have found that to be their answer in educating a special needs child since the parents truly know their child the best.

RE: At a Loss

This maybe what I have to do and will do. Our situation is limited we can’t move out of our district for another school. I really don’t think this will help a lot and if I do this it will only be to state my case once again. I don’t see them doing much more than what they are doing. For their beliefs have been set in, set in their ways. “Defiance”….is their reasoning. I do appreciate you giving me this forum to use as a letter; I will be working on it and using it.

Thank you

[Guest guest]

HHmmm…yeah I have thought about it

and have mixed feelings about it. It is the social aspect of it all may not

work well with us. I know several outings are based around on this but

basically I don’t know if I could handle my son and my two year old. It’s

hard to take them both to places alone. I avoid this as much as possible. I don’t

like going out with just me and my daughter. Is there something wrong with me? My

daughter still doesn’t sleep through the night so I am always sleep

deprived. Just having her in the mix would be a big distraction for my son to

do work at home. Money wise right now my husband is the only one working and

struggling through a job he hates.

Re: At

a Loss

Out of curiosity, have you

considered homeschooling? I'm not saying it works for everyone, and I don't

know your personal situation so I'm not sure if it's feasible (meaning, if you

work full-time, then it obviously is different) but a lot of people have found

that to be their answer in educating a special needs child since the parents

truly know their child the best.

RE:

At a Loss

This maybe what I have to

do and will do. Our situation is limited we can’t move out of our

district for another school. I really don’t think this will help a lot

and if I do this it will only be to state my case once again. I don’t see

them doing much more than what they are doing. For their beliefs have been set

in, set in their ways. “Defiance”….is their reasoning. I do

appreciate you giving me this forum to use as a letter; I will be working on it

and using it.

Thank you

[Guest guest]

I was worried about that at first -- socialization is a huge myth about homeschooling -- but once we got going, it turned out she had more activity than before school. (I had to cut back! There are too many options available for social activities.) I started homeschooling when I was flat on my left side for much of a very tenuous pregnancy, and my older two were still in the public school system. It was challenging, but we made it work. After the baby arrived, I'd tote them both places -- it wasn't always fun, but the hassle of it, imho, sure beats the hassle of working with difficult school staff. After a while, I found things where I could take her and still keep the baby occupied -- homeschool tours, field trips, classes, library, etc. Now that I have 4, with one that has chronic health issues, and my youngest with HFA, flexibility has been key. Lots of people homeschool with numerous kids...I leaned on the support of others for a while but it came together.

I think I'm still sleep deprived, LOL...my 4 yos has nightmares and wakes nightly. I work from home full-time, too, so I have to get up at 5:30 to start that at 6am, done at 3pm.

Whatever you end up doing, don't let the financial aspect put you off if the rest is workable. I know a lot of people who homeschool with some basic school supplies (pencil, paper, etc.) and a library card.

Donna

RE: At a Loss

This maybe what I have to do and will do. Our situation is limited we can’t move out of our district for another school. I really don’t think this will help a lot and if I do this it will only be to state my case once again. I don’t see them doing much more than what they are doing. For their beliefs have been set in, set in their ways. “Defiance”….is their reasoning. I do appreciate you giving me this forum to use as a letter; I will be working on it and using it.

Thank you

[Guest guest]

That officially seals it, you ARE living my life lol!

You should meet my 4 year old daughter, she sounds like yours in 2 years lol! I think in her entire life..she has slept through the night maybe....ahh...5 times!!

Now with the weekend upon us....I have both kids all day for 2 days. got in a fight with one of his only friends (the other child told on him for something and now is mad because he got in trouble and lost his computer time) so playdates are out this weekend lol.

But my two are usually a nightmare together as my daughter LOVES to push my son's buttons (and knows where they all are lol) and so he's screaming at her all weekend and when she screams and cries about it he freaks out even more (because the sound is to loud for him)......ohhhh...I think I am the only person around that actually likes the week better than the weekend!!

-Charlotte

RE: At a Loss

This maybe what I have to do and will do. Our situation is limited we can’t move out of our district for another school. I really don’t think this will help a lot and if I do this it will only be to state my case once again. I don’t see them doing much more than what they are doing. For their beliefs have been set in, set in their ways. “Defiance”….is their reasoning. I do appreciate you giving me this forum to use as a letter; I will be working on it and using it.

Thank you

[Guest guest]

Ha Ha…Charlotte,

Well Devin is going to a skating-spend

the night birthday party tonight. You would think it’s a big break for me

in away it is but…I still have my Sidnie awake all night. Devin didn’t

want to leave his games behind, really defiant. I thought my hubby was going to

explode, he is standing there ready to leave and Devin was grabbing things on

the way out, I want to take my play station, I want to take my Yu Gi Oh cards!

Ugh…….

You said “I

think in her entire life..she has slept through the night maybe....ahh...5

times!!” I think I can count five times as well! I just called the doc about her

and they said give her benadril!!!!!!!! I didn’t think twice gave it to her and she slept the

first night, second night (last night) she was awake and playing at 1:30AM. I’ve

had enough! I can’t let her just cry in her bed..she crawls out and

falls. Now A friend has called and they are on their way over. I’m

sure I won’t get to sit down and have a chat to my buddy….I will be

busy keeping Sidnie out of things! LOL

Re: At

a Loss

That officially seals it,

you ARE living my life lol!

You should meet my 4 year

old daughter, she sounds like yours in 2 years lol! I think in her entire

life..she has slept through the night maybe....ahh...5 times!!

Now with the weekend upon

us....I have both kids all day for 2 days. got in a fight with one

of his only friends (the other child told on him for something and now is

mad because he got in trouble and lost his computer time) so playdates are out

this weekend lol.

But my two are usually a

nightmare together as my daughter LOVES to push my son's buttons (and knows

where they all are lol) and so he's screaming at her all weekend and when she

screams and cries about it he freaks out even more (because the sound is to

loud for him)......ohhhh...I think I am the only person around that actually

likes the week better than the weekend!!

-Charlotte

RE:

At a Loss

This maybe

what I have to do and will do. Our situation is limited we can’t move out

of our district for another school. I really don’t think this will help a

lot and if I do this it will only be to state my case once again. I don’t

see them doing much more than what they are doing. For their beliefs have been

set in, set in their ways. “Defiance”….is their reasoning. I

do appreciate you giving me this forum to use as a letter; I will be working on

it and using it.

Thank

you

[Guest guest]

got in a fight with

one of his only friends (the other child told on him for something and now

is mad because he got in trouble and lost his computer time) so playdates

are out this weekend lol.

I can relate to this too…last year

on the bus there was some confusion about one of those juice box ya know the

one with the straws? Someone according to Devin squeezed it while it was in his

hand and it busted open and got all over his buddy..somehow they ended up

fighting and Devin nearly broke the boys glasses!! I got a call from the

principle, never got a call from the parents but I did call them and made Devin

apologize, we left messages.

IM still thinking about my school issues.

I had several phone calls Friday about it…still nothing is done.

Re: At

a Loss

That officially seals it,

you ARE living my life lol!

You should meet my 4 year

old daughter, she sounds like yours in 2 years lol! I think in her entire

life..she has slept through the night maybe....ahh...5 times!!

Now with the weekend upon

us....I have both kids all day for 2 days. got in a fight with one

of his only friends (the other child told on him for something and now is

mad because he got in trouble and lost his computer time) so playdates are out

this weekend lol.

But my two are usually a

nightmare together as my daughter LOVES to push my son's buttons (and knows

where they all are lol) and so he's screaming at her all weekend and when she

screams and cries about it he freaks out even more (because the sound is to

loud for him)......ohhhh...I think I am the only person around that actually

likes the week better than the weekend!!

-Charlotte

RE:

At a Loss

This

maybe what I have to do and will do. Our situation is limited we can’t

move out of our district for another school. I really don’t think this

will help a lot and if I do this it will only be to state my case once again. I

don’t see them doing much more than what they are doing. For their

beliefs have been set in, set in their ways. “Defiance”….is their

reasoning. I do appreciate you giving me this forum to use as a letter; I will

be working on it and using it.

Thank

you

[Guest guest]

ROFL, when EVER has a play date especially an overnight (rare!) he tries to take his ENTIRE room with him!! It's crazy, he is always leaving with 700 bags (and that's the scaled down version!) He is forever leaving things at these peoples houses too. Especially his nightlight and "dream pillow" (fights off bad dreams since age 4!...this was DH's idea when he was having night terrors when he was little. He grabbed a toss pillow off our bed and told him it was a magic dream pillow and prevented nightmares...STILL works!)

Anyway it's a disaster when those things get forgotten!

As for Gracie, I couldn't let her cry either because she'd either climb out or she would scream for 4 hours straight like someone was in there ripping a limb off! I think she has sleep apnea (hubby's family all have it and he still doesn't sleep through the night). We've done the Benadryl at times too but it's hit or miss, hyper or unconscious...different every time!

RE: At a Loss

This maybe what I have to do and will do. Our situation is limited we can’t move out of our district for another school. I really don’t think this will help a lot and if I do this it will only be to state my case once again. I don’t see them doing much more than what they are doing. For their beliefs have been set in, set in their ways. “Defiance”….is their reasoning. I do appreciate you giving me this forum to use as a letter; I will be working on it and using it.

Thank you

[Guest guest]

Ladies...

you may want to check into melatonin (OTC) to help your kids get to sleep at night if you haven't tried it already. I spent almost ten years sleep deprived because of Beth...and I know that's not encouraging to you. Now she's 16 and we both sleep like babies. Her nighttime seroquel dose helps her now but was also taking melatonin once in a while but doesn't seem to need it anymore.

Maralee

>^..^<

-----Original Message-----From: designs [mailto:scottdesigns@...] Sent: Friday, January 28, 2005 3:20 PMAutism and Aspergers Treatment Subject: Re: At a Loss

That officially seals it, you ARE living my life lol!

You should meet my 4 year old daughter, she sounds like yours in 2 years lol! I think in her entire life..she has slept through the night maybe....ahh...5 times!!

Now with the weekend upon us....I have both kids all day for 2 days. got in a fight with one of his only friends (the other child told on him for something and now is mad because he got in trouble and lost his computer time) so playdates are out this weekend lol.

But my two are usually a nightmare together as my daughter LOVES to push my son's buttons (and knows where they all are lol) and so he's screaming at her all weekend and when she screams and cries about it he freaks out even more (because the sound is to loud for him)......ohhhh...I think I am the only person around that actually likes the week better than the weekend!!

-Charlotte

RE: At a Loss

This maybe what I have to do and will do. Our situation is limited we can’t move out of our district for another school. I really don’t think this will help a lot and if I do this it will only be to state my case once again. I don’t see them doing much more than what they are doing. For their beliefs have been set in, set in their ways. “Defiance”….is their reasoning. I do appreciate you giving me this forum to use as a letter; I will be working on it and using it.

Thank you

[Guest guest]

All I have to say is the people whom

invited tem over have to be brave. Devin doesn’t get invited often to

spend the night over but these people’s little boy happens to be a lot like

Devin. I think he has ADHD or something else although they wouldn’t admit

it. What’s amazing is Devin’s Boy Scout group there is one other little

boy in the group that is very hyper so when these three get together… Oh my!

I can’t imagine have a sleep over with the three of them! IM not sure who

else showed up. God Bless them! I hope he has fun and doesn’t destroy the

house too much!

Ya know ….I am starting to wonder if

it’s true Autism although he isn’t full blown autism, I do not know

how to measure what is defiance and what isn’t! Devin sure seems defiant

lately and I don’t really know how to deal with it, if he can’t

help some things how do you know which he can???

Re: At

a Loss

ROFL, when EVER has

a play date especially an overnight (rare!) he tries to take his ENTIRE room

with him!! It's crazy, he is always leaving with 700 bags (and that's the

scaled down version!) He is forever leaving things at these peoples houses too.

Especially his nightlight and " dream pillow " (fights off bad dreams

since age 4!...this was DH's idea when he was having night terrors when he was

little. He grabbed a toss pillow off our bed and told him it was a magic

dream pillow and prevented nightmares...STILL works!)

Anyway it's a disaster

when those things get forgotten!

As for Gracie, I couldn't

let her cry either because she'd either climb out or she would scream for

4 hours straight like someone was in there ripping a limb off! I think

she has sleep apnea (hubby's family all have it and he still doesn't sleep

through the night). We've done the Benadryl at times too but

it's hit or miss, hyper or unconscious...different every time!

RE:

At a Loss

This

maybe what I have to do and will do. Our situation is limited we can’t

move out of our district for another school. I really don’t think this

will help a lot and if I do this it will only be to state my case once again. I

don’t see them doing much more than what they are doing. For their

beliefs have been set in, set in their ways. “Defiance”….is their

reasoning. I do appreciate you giving me this forum to use as a letter; I will

be working on it and using it.

Thank

you

[Guest guest]

Ok, defiance comes with age 7 on, lol. Regardless of the label your son has. I did not and do not put up with that. We use 1-2-3 Magic and there are calm clear consequences for freshness and defiance when appropriate. Weather it is AS related of "little boy" related there only going to learn it's inappropriate one way. I think our delivery makes all the difference though when the kids have issues.

-Charlotte

RE: At a Loss

This maybe what I have to do and will do. Our situation is limited we can’t move out of our district for another school. I really don’t think this will help a lot and if I do this it will only be to state my case once again. I don’t see them doing much more than what they are doing. For their beliefs have been set in, set in their ways. “Defiance”….is their reasoning. I do appreciate you giving me this forum to use as a letter; I will be working on it and using it.

Thank you

[Guest guest]

It comes with age 7 LOL!!!!! Well I am in

a situation at the school….Devin is not finishing his work and he is

getting punished for it. They send him off to another teacher, Special Ed when

he can’t stay on task. Problem is, I am not sure if he can finish his

work or not. Is he doing this because he doesn’t want to or is it simply

to much for him to accomplish?? Yeah I need to read that book may help us out a

lot. Would the Library have it? I don’t want to go into the school half

cocked and can’t explain myself. I can’t figure out if it’s

really to much work for him or he just doesn’t want to do it. They are

doing consequences by taking his break time away daily. I do not like this at

all.

BTW-you’re up early!! <Stretch>

since 3am myself <Yawn>

Re: At

a Loss

Ok, defiance comes with

age 7 on, lol. Regardless of the label your son has. I did not and

do not put up with that. We use 1-2-3 Magic and there are calm clear

consequences for freshness and defiance when appropriate. Weather it is

AS related of " little boy " related there only going to learn it's

inappropriate one way. I think our delivery makes all the difference

though when the kids have issues.

-Charlotte

RE:

At a Loss

This

maybe what I have to do and will do. Our situation is limited we can’t

move out of our district for another school. I really don’t think this

will help a lot and if I do this it will only be to state my case once again. I

don’t see them doing much more than what they are doing. For their

beliefs have been set in, set in their ways. “Defiance”….is

their reasoning. I do appreciate you giving me this forum to use as a letter; I

will be working on it and using it.

Thank

you

[Guest guest]

Actually, I am always up and usually on here early but being new my posts were moderated until last night! So it usually took them all day to get to the group!

You can get 1-2-3 Magic at the library AND they even have it on video! However, not sure that would really apply to the issue with his school work.

Are they breaking his work down into small enough "non-threatening" amounts?? I know with if you put 20 spelling words in front of him that he has to do sentences for his "gears" will literally "lock up" and he will take 2 hours to do 5 sentences BUT if you give him a list of 5 or 10 at a time...he has very little to no issue. He just gets overwhelmed really easy. The other problem we have is when the assignment has NOTHING to do with one of his fields of interest. He's reading a book in class now about a 13 year old girl and her relationship with a runaway slave....AHH NO! Getting him to do any of this is like PULLING TEETH! BUT when they read the book Shiloh (sp) he was 100 % into it because his obsession with animals, dogs in particular!

RE: At a Loss

This maybe what I have to do and will do. Our situation is limited we can’t move out of our district for another school. I really don’t think this will help a lot and if I do this it will only be to state my case once again. I don’t see them doing much more than what they are doing. For their beliefs have been set in, set in their ways. “Defiance”….is their reasoning. I do appreciate you giving me this forum to use as a letter; I will be working on it and using it.

Thank you

[Guest guest]

Yeah…I see how would like

that. I don’t know what to do. I do know he has an Old teacher she

happens to be the best one of the teachers of all the 2nd grade

teachers. Or so I am told. They told me she is the best one she is very

structured. What they didn’t tell me is that she got stuck with all the ADHD

kids and whatever else the kids may have. No wonder there is no… one on

one time. Secondly she is an old special Ed teacher whom believes it’s

all about structure, nothing else exists ADHD-AS whatever be the case she doesn’t

believe in it. I believe she cares for Devin and it has been passed on to

me that she said “If Devin can’t do this work now; I worry about

him in real life”. The school is sending them to attend a conference on

Autism or AS rather. I am told this AS is very new to them. I still don’t

see her changing much. I see future problems that haven’t even arose. IF

this is the best teacher for him and there are already problems…uhm…whats

next? I just need to find out what Devin can do and can’t. I know he

finished his work for a week….smiley faces all over the paper. Now its

just the opposite. <sigh>

Re: At

a Loss

Actually, I am always up

and usually on here early but being new my posts were moderated until last

night! So it usually took them all day to get to the group!

You can get 1-2-3 Magic at

the library AND they even have it on video! However, not sure that would

really apply to the issue with his school work.

Are they breaking his work

down into small enough " non-threatening " amounts?? I know with

if you put 20 spelling words in front of him that he has to do sentences for

his " gears " will literally " lock up " and he will take 2

hours to do 5 sentences BUT if you give him a list of 5 or 10 at a time...he

has very little to no issue. He just gets overwhelmed really easy.

The other problem we have is when the assignment has NOTHING to do with one of

his fields of interest. He's reading a book in class now about a 13 year

old girl and her relationship with a runaway slave....AHH NO! Getting him

to do any of this is like PULLING TEETH! BUT when they read the book Shiloh

(sp) he was 100 % into it because his obsession with animals, dogs in

particular!

RE:

At a Loss

This

maybe what I have to do and will do. Our situation is limited we can’t

move out of our district for another school. I really don’t think this

will help a lot and if I do this it will only be to state my case once again. I

don’t see them doing much more than what they are doing. For their

beliefs have been set in, set in their ways. “Defiance”….is

their reasoning. I do appreciate you giving me this forum to use as a letter; I

will be working on it and using it.

Thank

you

[Guest guest]

“If Devin can’t do this work now; I worry about him in real life”.

HE'S IN SECOND GRADE!!!! This was NOT an ok thing for a teacher to say to you!!

It's great that the school is sending them to learn more about AS because it sounds like they need to!!

GOOD LUCK!

-Charlotte

-----Original Message-----From: designs [mailto:scottdesigns@...] Sent: Sunday, January 30, 2005 8:29 AMAutism and Aspergers Treatment Subject: Re: At a Loss

Actually, I am always up and usually on here early but being new my posts were moderated until last night! So it usually took them all day to get to the group!

You can get 1-2-3 Magic at the library AND they even have it on video! However, not sure that would really apply to the issue with his school work.

Are they breaking his work down into small enough "non-threatening" amounts?? I know with if you put 20 spelling words in front of him that he has to do sentences for his "gears" will literally "lock up" and he will take 2 hours to do 5 sentences BUT if you give him a list of 5 or 10 at a time...he has very little to no issue. He just gets overwhelmed really easy. The other problem we have is when the assignment has NOTHING to do with one of his fields of interest. He's reading a book in class now about a 13 year old girl and her relationship with a runaway slave....AHH NO! Getting him to do any of this is like PULLING TEETH! BUT when they read the book Shiloh (sp) he was 100 % into it because his obsession with animals, dogs in particular!

RE: At a Loss

This maybe what I have to do and will do. Our situation is limited we can’t move out of our district for another school. I really don’t think this will help a lot and if I do this it will only be to state my case once again. I don’t see them doing much more than what they are doing. For their beliefs have been set in, set in their ways. “Defiance”….is their reasoning. I do appreciate you giving me this forum to use as a letter; I will be working on it and using it.

Thank you

[Guest guest]

I agree they need some serious learning

about Aspergers. I find myself fighting on things Devin can control and things

he can’t myself. It’s hard to argue the point or be an advocate for

Devin when I don’t know myself. Things like, “What do you want us

to do” I really don’t know what to say, except… with this

particular situation, in Devin’s defense I say: “IM not saying send

him to the fourth grade class for reading (although I don’t think that’s

a bad idea but they say legally they can’t do that, because he isn’t

finishing his second grade work, not that he cant do the work but the fact he

isn’t finishing, makes me so mad!)

If it’s a case where he is

overwhelmed with the work then the teacher is sup post to be giving him smaller

amounts of work and don’t let him skip his break! They feel a consequence

is in order that’s why he is missing his breaks. They also have a problem

with Devin being out of his class when it is time to be taught. Well, that’s

not my problem they will have to work out ways to teach him or grade him

outside of his class. They are to tangled up in what he has to learn within the

year. Devin makes excellent grades except when he doesn’t finish his

work. They contradict themselves at times when they say “Devin does not

have any problems, he makes excellent grades”. This is true to some

extent his report cards are usually A honor Roll or B honor Roll. The thing is

they “Hold” him back from his potential and they do so by punishing

him and using their “consequences”.

This is why I say it’s

difficult for me to judge what Devin can do and to what degree is him being “defiance”.

I know what they are doing isn’t working. I want to come to his defense

and I have but when I see things at home it make’s it more difficult.

Devin came home this morning from the sleep over the parents to Devin’s

friend said “Devin just wanted to do what Devin wanted to do, wasn’t

following directions”. < SO sick of hearing that comment…..*Sigh.

Is it that Devin has heard to much talk amongst us? Dunno Dunno….

Re: At

a Loss

Actually, I am always up

and usually on here early but being new my posts were moderated until last

night! So it usually took them all day to get to the group!

You can get 1-2-3 Magic at

the library AND they even have it on video! However, not sure that would

really apply to the issue with his school work.

Are they breaking his work

down into small enough " non-threatening " amounts?? I know with

if you put 20 spelling words in front of him that he has to do sentences for

his " gears " will literally " lock up " and he will take 2

hours to do 5 sentences BUT if you give him a list of 5 or 10 at a time...he

has very little to no issue. He just gets overwhelmed really easy.

The other problem we have is when the assignment has NOTHING to do with one of his

fields of interest. He's reading a book in class now about a 13 year old

girl and her relationship with a runaway slave....AHH NO! Getting him to

do any of this is like PULLING TEETH! BUT when they read the book Shiloh

(sp) he was 100 % into it because his obsession with animals, dogs in

particular!

RE:

At a Loss

This

maybe what I have to do and will do. Our situation is limited we can’t

move out of our district for another school. I really don’t think this

will help a lot and if I do this it will only be to state my case once again. I

don’t see them doing much more than what they are doing. For their

beliefs have been set in, set in their ways. “Defiance”….is

their reasoning. I do appreciate you giving me this forum to use as a letter; I

will be working on it and using it.

Thank

you

[Guest guest]

I would love your help. We do have a

diagnosis Please follow the messages labeled “At a Loss” you will

have to go way back to catch up. LOL

-----Original

Message-----

From: rglick

[mailto:rglick@...]

Sent: Friday, January 28, 2005

8:18 AM

To:

Autism and Aspergers Treatment

Subject: Re: At

a Loss

What you need to do is get a diagnosis for your

child. Without a diagnosis with an IEP or BIP (behavioral

Intervention Plan) your not going to get anything from the school as far as

help with the behavior that is disruptive. If he is diagnosed with

Aspergers then he may require an Aide with him do exercizes for sensory

when he is having issues. And, as far as pulling him out for

" extra " help then its not his responsibility to recover the work,

its the special education departments! If he needs extra one on one

time to complete his work then he should be sent to the resource room for

that. I have a 9 year old Aspergers fully integrated child if you have

any questions...I am willing to help you! Good luck

-- RE:

Homework

Hiya…don’t

get me started on school. I continually get graded papers weekly with the

same topic. Written in red it’s always Devin had more time to

finish his work than any others, was given xx amount of time to complete. The

work will have a bad grade on it because he has skipped problems-not

finished. IM so beyond this I want to rush down to the school and tell them a

thing or two. I know I would only be heard in one ear and out the other.

2nd

Grade my Devin is to complete a math work sheet, a literature work sheet and

study spelling words. Tonight was a bit better with his homework just to get

him started was a challenge. The way they were going to handle this before,

he was to be sent to another teachers room to help him stay on task, to get

his work done. But only during HIS break time! That seems so unfair and I

agree where I read earlier in a post….they need this break to work off

the excessive energy!

Anyway,

These teachers need to give this already extremely bright kids a break! <

agree!!!!!!!

[Guest guest]

Maralee wrote:

>

> Ladies... you may want to check into melatonin (OTC) to help your

> kids get to sleep at night if you haven't tried it already. I spent

> almost ten years sleep deprived because of Beth...and I know that's

> not encouraging to you. Now she's 16 and we both sleep like babies.

> Her nighttime seroquel dose helps her now but was also taking

> melatonin once in a while but doesn't seem to need it anymore.

>

>

>

> Maralee

>

You may also try taking apples and apple products out of your little

ones diets. Louie was (and is) sensitive to the phosphenes (I think

that's it) in apples. They disturb his sleep patterns. Since we

removed apples at about 13-14, he's slept through the night with no

trouble. You really have to read labels, though; they put apple juice

in *everything*!!

Annie, who loves ya annie@...

--

ZenCrafters: Total Enlightenment in about an hour. -- anon

[Guest guest]

No way and she love apples! Almost daily

she eats a cut up apple. Wow it will also be a hard one to replace. She is a finicky

eater these days; I liked knowing she likes one fruit!

Re: FW:

At a Loss

Maralee wrote:

>

> Ladies... you may want to check into

melatonin (OTC) to help your

> kids get to sleep at night if you haven't

tried it already. I spent

> almost ten years sleep deprived because of

Beth...and I know that's

> not encouraging to you. Now she's 16 and we

both sleep like babies.

> Her nighttime seroquel dose helps her now but

was also taking

> melatonin once in a while but doesn't seem to

need it anymore.

>

>

>

> Maralee

>

You may also try taking apples and apple products

out of your little

ones diets. Louie was (and is) sensitive to

the phosphenes (I think

that's it) in apples. They disturb his sleep

patterns. Since we

removed apples at about 13-14, he's slept through

the night with no

trouble. You really have to read labels,

though; they put apple juice

in *everything*!!

Annie, who loves ya

annie@...

--

ZenCrafters: Total Enlightenment in about an hour.

-- anon

[Guest guest]

Defiance, oh boy...that's a common word in our house anymore. Ds, only barely 4, can be SO defiant. Is this a part of spectrum disorders? He'll lean towards our face (no eye contact though) and yell "Did you hear me? I said no!" then he'll turn away and flippantly say "You just weave me awone." Boy, can it be surprising! He's just so defiant if ever challenged.

Re: At a Loss

Ok, defiance comes with age 7 on, lol. Regardless of the label your son has. I did not and do not put up with that. We use 1-2-3 Magic and there are calm clear consequences for freshness and defiance when appropriate. Weather it is AS related of "little boy" related there only going to learn it's inappropriate one way. I think our delivery makes all the difference though when the kids have issues.

-Charlotte

[Guest guest]

Barry Hitchcock wrote:

> No way and she love apples! Almost daily she eats a cut up apple. Wow it

> will also be a hard one to replace. She is a finicky eater these days; I

> liked knowing she likes one fruit!

>

Louie loved 'em too. He could go through a 3 lb. bag in a day, no

problem! But he wasn't sleeping, so I took them away cause I'd heard it

worked with some kids. And it did for him. Now, at almost 25, he gets

an apple twice a year: one on a stick with nuts and carmel at the State

Fair, and one huge red one in his stocking at Christmas. But we've

found that if he eats those early in the day, he doesn't have as much a

sleeping problem. But when he does, he wakes up at 4-5 a.m. and doesn't

go back to bed. When he doesn't eat them, he's in dreamland till 7:45

when his alarm wakes him. It was hard to X out apples from his diet,

but it was necessary for his health and our sanity. And he got used

to it, especially after we told him he had " an allergy " (a word he

already knew) to apples that kept him from sleeping well. He

transplanted his apple-mania to one for bananas, strawberries, and

Clementines.

Annie, who loves ya annie@...

--

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy. -- anon

[Guest guest]

Donna,

>>Defiance, oh boy...that's a common word in our house anymore. Ds, only

>>barely 4, can be SO defiant. Is this a part of spectrum disorders? He'll

>>lean towards our face (no eye contact though) and yell " Did you hear me? I

>>said no! " then he'll turn away and flippantly say " You just weave me

>>awone. " Boy, can it be surprising! He's just so defiant if ever

>>challenged. <<

I don't think he is being defiant, he's just trying to impose order and

predictability into a world which he finds incredibly confusing and

bewildering. For him, people do not say what they mean or mean what they

say, they keep acting in ways that he can't predict and has no control over.

Have you tried making a visual timetable for him, with pictures to stick on

to tell him the order in which activities will occur, and so he knows that

they will start and end, and that he will get time to do the things he likes

(programme these in as 'rewards' in between the things you want him to do).

in England

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the info…I will have to

find some other fruit for her. It has been a challenge to get her to eat good

things or a lot of times to get her to eat period!

Re: FW:

At a Loss

Barry Hitchcock wrote:

> No way and she love apples! Almost daily she

eats a cut up apple. Wow it

> will also be a hard one to replace. She is a

finicky eater these days; I

> liked knowing she likes one fruit!

>

Louie loved 'em too. He could go through a 3

lb. bag in a day, no

problem! But he wasn't sleeping, so I took

them away cause I'd heard it

worked with some kids. And it did for

him. Now, at almost 25, he gets

an apple twice a year: one on a stick with nuts

and carmel at the State

Fair, and one huge red one in his stocking at

Christmas. But we've

found that if he eats those early in the day, he

doesn't have as much a

sleeping problem. But when he does, he wakes

up at 4-5 a.m. and doesn't

go back to bed. When he doesn't eat them,

he's in dreamland till 7:45

when his alarm wakes him. It was hard to

X out apples from his diet,

but it was necessary for his health and our

sanity. And he got used

to it, especially after we told him he had

" an allergy " (a word he

already knew) to apples that kept him from

sleeping well. He

transplanted his apple-mania to one for

bananas, strawberries, and

Clementines.

Annie, who loves ya

annie@...

--

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't

make me happy. -- anon

[Guest guest]

One of the things I'm getting at Target today is a board to make into our

schedule board -- index cards with pictures that can be changed. I really

like the schedule idea! (I'm also buying a timer.) He has to know 'the plan'

of the day and we have to warn him before any change -- 10 minutes to bath

time, 5 minutes to dinner, etc. -- and I know that'll help, and on days

where we have more flexibility, he can arrange his play time, too. I'm

hoping this system will eliminate some of the Nintendo time. (The nurse

yesterday felt that maybe one reason he won't leave the house is due to

wanting Nintendo -- but I don't think that's all of it. I just have this

feeling they'll see his obsession as the reason for everything, and suggest

removal as a cure-all..when I know that won't be the case. He'll just move

on to something else. It was Toontown before Nintendo.)

, I appreciate your advice, just wanted to say...I have no one offline

dealing with this for me to talk to (other than Dh) and Dh knows how

important it's been to me to be able to talk with others who can relate, so

thank you.

Donna

Re: Re: At a Loss

>

> Donna,

>

>>>Defiance, oh boy...that's a common word in our house anymore. Ds, only

>>>barely 4, can be SO defiant. Is this a part of spectrum disorders? He'll

>>>lean towards our face (no eye contact though) and yell " Did you hear me?

>>>I

>>>said no! " then he'll turn away and flippantly say " You just weave me

>>>awone. " Boy, can it be surprising! He's just so defiant if ever

>>>challenged. <<

>

> I don't think he is being defiant, he's just trying to impose order and

> predictability into a world which he finds incredibly confusing and

> bewildering. For him, people do not say what they mean or mean what they

> say, they keep acting in ways that he can't predict and has no control

> over.

>

> Have you tried making a visual timetable for him, with pictures to stick

> on

> to tell him the order in which activities will occur, and so he knows that

> they will start and end, and that he will get time to do the things he

> likes

> (programme these in as 'rewards' in between the things you want him to

> do).

>

> in England