Re: Disappearing co-moderators

[Guest guest]

I can share what it is like to be in the club sandwich generation. When my

Mom died , my mother in law was very ill (husband I were caring for her) my

son was in high school and not in a good place and all three of my brothers

lived with her. I ended up with my older brother living in our basement while

I tried to get him the diagnosis and services he never had. I was caught

between my kid, parents and my brother. I used every support I could find,

neighbors, online support and friends. Nora

In a message dated 12/18/2007 4:08:52 P.M. Central Standard Time,

egskb@... writes:

I was wondering if anyone has stories they would like to share about

their experience as a member of " the sandwich generation " and what

some of your strategies have been to cope with the pressures of aging

parents and family members along with the responsibilities and

stresses of parenting a child with extra special needs?

**************************************See AOL's top rated recipes

(http://food.aol.com/top-rated-recipes?NCID=aoltop00030000000004)

[Guest guest]

Ellen, thanks for the info. I have a 26 year old son with DS who is really is

great. I can not complain about him. But this is a busy time for everyone. My

parents and in-laws are all passed away but we just got a puppy that keeps us

very busy. Once she gets a little older I am hoping she will be a great friend

for our son Chris. In the meantime my husband and I are feeling our age and I

find very little time to keep up here myself. I do want to wish everyone a very

happy healthy safe Christmas and New Years.

Shirley

ellenbronfeld <egskb@...> wrote:

Hi all:

I thought it might be useful to note that my co-moderators, Laurie

and Marie have actually not disappeared or deserted you, but they

have both been faced with family circumstances that have been both

stressful and time consuming. I know this is something to which we

can all relate.

I will leave it to them whether they choose at some point to

elaborate, but suffice to say that they miss their contact with all

of you and they plan to be back online soon. In the meantime, lets

send them both big hugs and good, positive thoughts!

I can say that some of the stressors in their lives are very much a

function of being in the " sandwich generation. " As our children with

developmental disabilities get older, they do not necessarily move on

and move out, as we know. Many of us also have aging parents who

require more and more of our time and attention as they age.

I was wondering if anyone has stories they would like to share about

their experience as a member of " the sandwich generation " and what

some of your strategies have been to cope with the pressures of aging

parents and family members along with the responsibilities and

stresses of parenting a child with extra special needs?

Ellen

[Guest guest]

Dear Ellen, well you've hit the nail on the head of my life.....my mom just

turned 80 and had a stroke in June, then in July we found out she has uterine

cancer. The decision has been made not to treat her cancer so she's now on

Hospice in a nursing home.? My dad still lives in the house I grew up in, I live

in Woodridge, he's in Oak Lawn, mom is in Palos Hills, oh and dad just turned 88

last Friday.? My life has been turned upside down, not only that but I'm a

single mom.? will be 16 in April, fortunately he's having a great year in

school or I'd probably be ready to commit myself :-)

How do I cope, I try to remember to take care of myself along with visiting mom

3-4 times a week, sharing laundry duties with my sister for both of my parents.?

Okay, as I sit here typing this I have a splitting headache, pass the Advil and

a glass of wine?? Calgon didn't seem to do the trick.......

Hugs to all who are going through this, I have a very long road ahead with both

of my parents, I'm just thankful that I can be here for them, I'll never have

any regrets and I love them both dearly.

Happy Holidays everyone,

H.

Disappearing co-moderators

Hi all:

I thought it might be useful to note that my co-moderators, Laurie

and Marie have actually not disappeared or deserted you, but they

have both been faced with family circumstances that have been both

stressful and time consuming. I know this is something to which we

can all relate.

I will leave it to them whether they choose at some point to

elaborate, but suffice to say that they miss their contact with all

of you and they plan to be back online soon. In the meantime, lets

send them both big hugs and good, positive thoughts!

I can say that some of the stressors in their lives are very much a

function of being in the " sandwich generation. " As our children with

developmental disabilities get older, they do not necessarily move on

and move out, as we know. Many of us also have aging parents who

require more and more of our time and attention as they age.

I was wondering if anyone has stories they would like to share about

their experience as a member of " the sandwich generation " and what

some of your strategies have been to cope with the pressures of aging

parents and family members along with the responsibilities and

stresses of parenting a child with extra special needs?

Ellen

[Guest guest]

, you are amazing...just like Marie and Laurie! You are all juggling and

dealing with some of the toughest situations, yet, the sense of humor, the love

and compassion come shining through.

I have met the most amazing women in the past 20 years. Thank you so much for

sharing your story.

I am terribly sorry about your Mom. I pray she has little or no pain.

Thank goodness for wine, advil and my personal secret weapons...a great book and

a hot bath!

Ellen

Ellen Garber Bronfeld

egskb@...

Disappearing co-moderators

Hi all:

I thought it might be useful to note that my co-moderators, Laurie

and Marie have actually not disappeared or deserted you, but they

have both been faced with family circumstances that have been both

stressful and time consuming. I know this is something to which we

can all relate.

I will leave it to them whether they choose at some point to

elaborate, but suffice to say that they miss their contact with all

of you and they plan to be back online soon. In the meantime, lets

send them both big hugs and good, positive thoughts!

I can say that some of the stressors in their lives are very much a

function of being in the " sandwich generation. " As our children with

developmental disabilities get older, they do not necessarily move on

and move out, as we know. Many of us also have aging parents who

require more and more of our time and attention as they age.

I was wondering if anyone has stories they would like to share about

their experience as a member of " the sandwich generation " and what

some of your strategies have been to cope with the pressures of aging

parents and family members along with the responsibilities and

stresses of parenting a child with extra special needs?

Ellen

[Guest guest]

Oh...and I meant to say, that your email address certainly made me smile!

Ellen Garber Bronfeld

egskb@...

Disappearing co-moderators

Hi all:

I thought it might be useful to note that my co-moderators, Laurie

and Marie have actually not disappeared or deserted you, but they

have both been faced with family circumstances that have been both

stressful and time consuming. I know this is something to which we

can all relate.

I will leave it to them whether they choose at some point to

elaborate, but suffice to say that they miss their contact with all

of you and they plan to be back online soon. In the meantime, lets

send them both big hugs and good, positive thoughts!

I can say that some of the stressors in their lives are very much a

function of being in the " sandwich generation. " As our children with

developmental disabilities get older, they do not necessarily move on

and move out, as we know. Many of us also have aging parents who

require more and more of our time and attention as they age.

I was wondering if anyone has stories they would like to share about

their experience as a member of " the sandwich generation " and what

some of your strategies have been to cope with the pressures of aging

parents and family members along with the responsibilities and

stresses of parenting a child with extra special needs?

Ellen

[Guest guest]

Thank YOU, Shirley.

is so very lucky to have parents who are so thoughtful and caring.

Ellen

Ellen Garber Bronfeld

egskb@...

Re: Disappearing co-moderators

Ellen, thanks for the info. I have a 26 year old son with DS who is really is

great. I can not complain about him. But this is a busy time for everyone. My

parents and in-laws are all passed away but we just got a puppy that keeps us

very busy. Once she gets a little older I am hoping she will be a great friend

for our son Chris. In the meantime my husband and I are feeling our age and I

find very little time to keep up here myself. I do want to wish everyone a very

happy healthy safe Christmas and New Years.

Shirley

ellenbronfeld <egskb@...> wrote:

Hi all:

I thought it might be useful to note that my co-moderators, Laurie

and Marie have actually not disappeared or deserted you, but they

have both been faced with family circumstances that have been both

stressful and time consuming. I know this is something to which we

can all relate.

I will leave it to them whether they choose at some point to

elaborate, but suffice to say that they miss their contact with all

of you and they plan to be back online soon. In the meantime, lets

send them both big hugs and good, positive thoughts!

I can say that some of the stressors in their lives are very much a

function of being in the " sandwich generation. " As our children with

developmental disabilities get older, they do not necessarily move on

and move out, as we know. Many of us also have aging parents who

require more and more of our time and attention as they age.

I was wondering if anyone has stories they would like to share about

their experience as a member of " the sandwich generation " and what

some of your strategies have been to cope with the pressures of aging

parents and family members along with the responsibilities and

stresses of parenting a child with extra special needs?

Ellen

[Guest guest]

Dear Nora, Hugs to you, what hard place you were in.? REaching out for that

support helps doesn't it?? Last Saturday my dad, brother, sister and I spent

over 1 1/2 hours talking to the hospice social worker.? I reach out as much as I

can and if anything I've gained as a person from the experience.? When I go to

visit my mom I spend time talking to and helping the other residents where she

is, they've become part of my extended " familly, " when I don't see one of them

my heart aches hoping that they are okay but I feel comfort in knowing they've

moved on to a better place.? I could go on and on but better stop.

Hugs to all of you and may you all feel peace and love during this Holiday

Season.

H.

Re: Disappearing co-moderators

I can share what it is like to be in the club sandwich generation. When my

Mom died , my mother in law was very ill (husband I were caring for her) my

son was in high school and not in a good place and all three of my brothers

lived with her. I ended up with my older brother living in our basement while

I tried to get him the diagnosis and services he never had. I was caught

between my kid, parents and my brother. I used every support I could find,

neighbors, online support and friends. Nora

In a message dated 12/18/2007 4:08:52 P.M. Central Standard Time,

egskb@... writes:

I was wondering if anyone has stories they would like to share about

their experience as a member of " the sandwich generation " and what

some of your strategies have been to cope with the pressures of aging

parents and family members along with the responsibilities and

stresses of parenting a child with extra special needs?

**************************************See AOL's top rated recipes

(http://food.aol.com/top-rated-recipes?NCID=aoltop00030000000004)

[Guest guest]

Thanks Ellen, It is nice to hear that from time to time. You always try to do

the best you can with your parents, children and friends. We did care for my

mother when she had Cancer and my father in law for awhile. Now we are taking

care of our selves and our son and a puppy. Life is one day at a time.

Ellen Bronfeld <egskb@...> wrote: Thank YOU, Shirley.

is so very lucky to have parents who are so thoughtful and caring.

Ellen

Ellen Garber Bronfeld

egskb@...

Re: Disappearing co-moderators

Ellen, thanks for the info. I have a 26 year old son with DS who is really is

great. I can not complain about him. But this is a busy time for everyone. My

parents and in-laws are all passed away but we just got a puppy that keeps us

very busy. Once she gets a little older I am hoping she will be a great friend

for our son Chris. In the meantime my husband and I are feeling our age and I

find very little time to keep up here myself. I do want to wish everyone a very

happy healthy safe Christmas and New Years.

Shirley

ellenbronfeld <egskb@...> wrote:

Hi all:

I thought it might be useful to note that my co-moderators, Laurie

and Marie have actually not disappeared or deserted you, but they

have both been faced with family circumstances that have been both

stressful and time consuming. I know this is something to which we

can all relate.

I will leave it to them whether they choose at some point to

elaborate, but suffice to say that they miss their contact with all

of you and they plan to be back online soon. In the meantime, lets

send them both big hugs and good, positive thoughts!

I can say that some of the stressors in their lives are very much a

function of being in the " sandwich generation. " As our children with

developmental disabilities get older, they do not necessarily move on

and move out, as we know. Many of us also have aging parents who

require more and more of our time and attention as they age.

I was wondering if anyone has stories they would like to share about

their experience as a member of " the sandwich generation " and what

some of your strategies have been to cope with the pressures of aging

parents and family members along with the responsibilities and

stresses of parenting a child with extra special needs?

Ellen

[Guest guest]

Hi Nora:

You were/are definitely in the " club " sandwich generation...I like the addition

of " club " ! It is not necessarily the type of club any of us have aspired to!

Thanks for sharing.

Ellen

Ellen Garber Bronfeld

egskb@...

Re: Disappearing co-moderators

I can share what it is like to be in the club sandwich generation. When my

Mom died , my mother in law was very ill (husband I were caring for her) my

son was in high school and not in a good place and all three of my brothers

lived with her. I ended up with my older brother living in our basement while

I tried to get him the diagnosis and services he never had. I was caught

between my kid, parents and my brother. I used every support I could find,

neighbors, online support and friends. Nora

In a message dated 12/18/2007 4:08:52 P.M. Central Standard Time,

egskb@... writes:

I was wondering if anyone has stories they would like to share about

their experience as a member of " the sandwich generation " and what

some of your strategies have been to cope with the pressures of aging

parents and family members along with the responsibilities and

stresses of parenting a child with extra special needs?

**************************************See AOL's top rated recipes

(http://food.aol.com/top-rated-recipes?NCID=aoltop00030000000004)

[Guest guest]

I can definitely identify with the " club sandwich " and add the sidedish of

having some serious health issues myself. I know I have to keep trying to find

solutions so that I can be here for my daughter, but sometimes it is so

depressing to feel like constantly running and not being able to keep up. My

mom is down in Tennessee and going thru bad times. I went down there 4 times

this year for ten days at a time trying to get services for her and clear out

the house. The good news is that all the experience and knowledge I gained from

all of you, trying to get help for my daughter, really paid off and I was able

to get mother a lot of help, which she complains about constantly!!! Hates the

hospital bed, nurses are rushed, nobody visits her, the lift chair is hot. Oh

well. Luckily my brother is down there living with her, but both of them are

constantly calling and complaining about each other. I spend my days trying

to keep our heads above water financially, while doing what I can to improve my

own condition, and the nights are busy maintaining a " social life " for my

daughter. I only put up about 1/2 my Christmas stuff, just too tired, but we'll

have a great Christmas and I am grateful for all the support and knowledge I

have gained from the many parents who have been ahead of me. I know somehow you

have all managed and I hang onto that thought!!!! God bless all of you and may

you have peaceful holidays and a healthy new year. Gloria

[Guest guest]

Happy Holiday to you Gloria and to all of our IPADDU members.

May you all know peaceful, joyful, healthy days in the upcoming new year. Your

sons and daughters are SO lucky to have you as their parent and advocate.

Ellen

Ellen Garber Bronfeld

egskb@...

Re: Disappearing co-moderators

I can definitely identify with the " club sandwich " and add the sidedish of

having some serious health issues myself. I know I have to keep trying to find

solutions so that I can be here for my daughter, but sometimes it is so

depressing to feel like constantly running and not being able to keep up. My mom

is down in Tennessee and going thru bad times. I went down there 4 times this

year for ten days at a time trying to get services for her and clear out the

house. The good news is that all the experience and knowledge I gained from all

of you, trying to get help for my daughter, really paid off and I was able to

get mother a lot of help, which she complains about constantly!!! Hates the

hospital bed, nurses are rushed, nobody visits her, the lift chair is hot. Oh

well. Luckily my brother is down there living with her, but both of them are

constantly calling and complaining about each other. I spend my days trying to

keep our heads above water financially, while doing what I can to improve my own

condition, and the nights are busy maintaining a " social life " for my daughter.

I only put up about 1/2 my Christmas stuff, just too tired, but we'll have a

great Christmas and I am grateful for all the support and knowledge I have

gained from the many parents who have been ahead of me. I know somehow you have

all managed and I hang onto that thought!!!! God bless all of you and may you

have peaceful holidays and a healthy new year. Gloria

[Guest guest]

So sorry things are so tough right now. Thanks for writing. Nora

In a message dated 12/19/2007 5:34:20 A.M. Central Standard Time,

sunshinebeaches3@... writes:

Dear Nora, Hugs to you, what hard place you were in.? REaching out for that

support helps doesn't it?? Last Saturday my dad, brother, sister and I spent

over 1 1/2 hours talking to the hospice social worker.? I reach out as much

as I can and if anything I've gained as a person from the experience.? When I

go to visit my mom I spend time talking to and helping the other residents

where she is, they've become part of my extended " familly, " when I don't see

one of them my heart aches hoping that they are okay but I feel comfort in

knowing they've moved on to a better place.? I could go on and on but better

stop.

Hugs to all of you and may you all feel peace and love during this Holiday

Season.

H.

**************************************See AOL's top rated recipes

(http://food.aol.com/top-rated-recipes?NCID=aoltop00030000000004)

[Guest guest]

I stole the club sandwich from the wonderful Don Meyer who founded the

Sibling Support Network. He is my sibling support mentor. Thanks Ellen. Happy

Holidays to all. Nora

In a message dated 12/19/2007 4:39:38 P.M. Central Standard Time,

egskb@... writes:

Hi Nora:

You were/are definitely in the " club " sandwich generation..You were/are

definitely in the " club " sandwich generation..<WBR>.I like the addition of

" club " ! I

Thanks for sharing.

Ellen

**************************************See AOL's top rated recipes

(http://food.aol.com/top-rated-recipes?NCID=aoltop00030000000004)