Guest guest Posted July 18, 2002 Report Share Posted July 18, 2002 LOL!!! ~~~~ Medical news ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~> >These are real......Reprints of publications shared ~~~~during medical ~~~~> >conventions.......... ~~~~> > ~~~~> >A man comes into the ER and yells, " My wife's going to ~~~~have her baby ~~~~> >in the cab! " I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the ~~~~cab, lifted the ~~~~> >lady's ~~~~dress, ~~~~> >and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I ~~~~noticed that there ~~~~> >were several cabs, and I was in the wrong one. Dr. Mark ~~~~Mac, ~~~~> >San , TX ~~~~> > ~~~~> > ~~~~> > ~~~~> >At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on ~~~~an elderly and ~~~~> >slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. ~~~~ " Big breaths, " I ~~~~> >instructed. " Yes, they used to be, " remorsefully replied the ~~~~> >patient. Dr. Byrnes, Seattle, WA ~~~~> > ~~~~> > ~~~~> > ~~~~> >One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a ~~~~wife that ~~~~> >her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. ~~~~Not more than ~~~~> >five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of ~~~~the family ~~~~> >that he ~~~~had ~~~~> >died of a " massive internal fart. " ~~~~> >Dr. Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada ~~~~> > ~~~~> > ~~~~> > ~~~~> >I was performing a complete physical, including the ~~~~visual acuity ~~~~> >test. I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, ~~~~> > " Cover your ~~~~right ~~~~> >eye with your hand. " He read the 20/20 line perfectly. ~~~~ " Now your ~~~~> >left. " Again, a flawless read. " Now both, " I requested. ~~~~There was ~~~~> >silence. He couldn't even read the large E on the top ~~~~line. I turned ~~~~> >and discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was ~~~~> >standing there with both his eyes covered. I was ~~~~laughing too hard ~~~~> >to finish the exam. Dr. Theodropolous, Worcester, MA ~~~~> > ~~~~> > ~~~~> > ~~~~> >During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his ~~~~cardiologist,he ~~~~> >informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with ~~~~one of his ~~~~> >medications. " Which one? " I asked. " The patch. The ~~~~nurse told me to ~~~~> >put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running ~~~~out of places ~~~~> >to put it! " ~~~~I ~~~~> >had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I ~~~~wouldn't see. ~~~~> >Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now the ~~~~> >instructions include removal of the old patch before ~~~~applying a new ~~~~> >one. Dr. St. Clair, Norfolk, VA ~~~~> > ~~~~> > ~~~~> > ~~~~> >While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I ~~~~asked, " How ~~~~> >long have you been bedridden? " After a look of complete ~~~~confusion ~~~~> >she answered ... " Why, not for about twenty years when ~~~~my husband was ~~~~> >alive. " Dr. Swanson, Corvallis, OR ~~~~> > ~~~~> > ~~~~> > ~~~~> >I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, " So, ~~~~how's your ~~~~> >breakfast this morning? " " It's very good, except for ~~~~the Kentucky ~~~~> >Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste, " the ~~~~patient replied. ~~~~> >I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a ~~~~foil packet ~~~~> >labeled " KY Jelly. " ~~~~> >Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI ~~~~> > ~~~~> > ~~~~> > ~~~~> >A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite embarrassed ~~~~performing ~~~~> >female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had ~~~~unconsciously ~~~~> >formed ~~~~> >a habit of whistling softly. The middle aged lady upon ~~~~whom he was ~~~~> >performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further ~~~~> >embarrassed ~~~~> >him.* He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, ~~~~ " I'm sorry. Was I ~~~~> >tickling you? " She replied, " No doctor, but the song ~~~~you were whistling ~~~~> >was ~~~~> >'I wish I was an ~~~~> >Meyer Wiener'. " ~~~~> > (Apparently this doctor was too embarrassed to give his name.) ~~~~> > ~~~~> > ~~~~> > ~~~~> > ~~~~ ~~~~> ~~~~> ~~~~ ~~~~>Get more from the Web. FREE MSN Explorer download : ~~~~>http://explorer.msn.com ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 3, 2009 Report Share Posted January 3, 2009 Thank you for the reminder that this site is for posting of CLL information and is not meant as a support group. We met up with you before the site ever existed and the purpose has always been the same. Fortunately, any member is able to directly contact another member if both choose to have contact without using the site. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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