SPECIAL TEACHER FINDS KEY TO HELPING EACH PUPIL

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SPECIAL TEACHER FINDS KEY TO HELPING EACH PUPIL

By Mike Cassidy

Mercury News Columnist

Reyes / Mercury News

Special-education teacher Sauer sometimes acts a bit goofy to

get the attention of her second-graders at Empire

Gardens Elementary

School in San .

More photos

Video: Coping with a learning disability

Blog: Mike Cassidy's Loose Ends

Sharon Urrabazo knows the dark moments well.

The moments when she didn't think she could take one more second of

her little boy's tantrums. The times she'd lock herself in the

bathroom to catch her breath and to make sure she didn't take her

frustration out on little .

``Timeouts, taking his toys away,'' Urrabazo says, ``nothing worked.''

He was only 2, but he was a terror. She talked to 's

pediatrician.

``I broke down and cried. I told him his behavior patterns.''

A specialist eventually diagnosed with attention deficit

hyperactivity disorder and oppositional defiant disorder -- meaning

he's a kid who gets frustrated easily and sometimes lashes out.

The diagnosis was a start, but it wasn't a cure. At the bank, ,

now 7, would knock over the poles holding the velvet ropes. At

Safeway, he'd smash flower vases and kick shoppers in the shins. He

was asked to leave several preschools.

``People don't comprehend, they don't know what we've been through,''

Urrabazo says.

It's hard to image how alone a parent can feel. The little love of

your life is out of control and nothing seems to help. You love him

deeply, but there are times you can't take it. You know it's not his

fault, but couldn't it please just stop?

Urrabazo, 42, who was raising and his younger sister alone,

wasn't going to give up -- not on and not on herself. She

worked with doctors and tried different medications.

It remained a struggle. Every day she'd wake up and think: ``What is

my son going to do today?''

Then last year, landed in Sauer's special-education

class. He followed Sauer to Empire Gardens school in San , where

this year, he is a second-grader in her class.

``I've never met anybody like her,'' Urrabazo says.

School changed for . He couldn't wait to go. Mrs. Sauer was

funny. Mrs. Sauer put on goofy glasses and pretended to be a reporter

when she'd ask the class questions. There were things actually

liked about school.

Things like what?

``Everything,'' says . ``Reading,

math, singing. Everything.''

Yes, singing and sometimes dancing. And definitely learning. is

now in mainstream math -- studying the subject with the other second-

graders before returning to Sauer's classroom.

Sauer's class is a three-ring circus of learning. There are the rules

song, the alphabet dance and the counting song, sung to the

``Macarena'' tune.

There are stars and certificates and Dragon dollars for students who

behave well. And recently, there was a day in which everyone wore

their clothes inside out. That was followed by a day where everyone

showed up with wacky hair.

``It's all about behavior management,'' Sauer says without a drop of

irony. ``You cannot even begin to teach academically if the kids are

not focused.''

Yes, there is method in her madness, a classroom run on an elaborate

system of second chances, rewards and discipline.

The key, Sauer says, is to study each student and figure out what

sets him or her off and what he or she needs. likes structure

and consistency. He needs to know the consequences of his behavior

and suffer them when he falls short of standards.

``He's made a lot of progress since last year,'' she says. ``Even

academically, he's just flourishing.''

Which is why Urrabazo invited me to talk with her and . She

wanted everyone to know what a great job Sauer was doing.

As Urrabazo and I spoke near the school in the construction company

office that Urrabazo manages, fiddled with a calculator. He

tutored his mother and me on the concept of negative numbers, beaming

a bright smile the entire time. He rattled off a dozen phone numbers

of various relatives. He worked on the invitation list for his

birthday party. How many kids was he inviting?

``Millions and millions and millions,'' he said, sounding a little

Carl Saganish.

Yes, Urrabazo wanted to talk about Sauer, but she made a bigger

point, too: Things can get better.

There are thousands of families dealing with kids with behavioral

problems and thousands more dealing with physical and mental

disabilities.

It might never be easy. Things might never be perfect. There could be

setbacks. But as dark as things can be at times, they can brighten.

``Search for the right teacher,'' Urrabazo says. ``Search for the

right doctor.''

Be patient with your child.

And never give up.