can't rememeber

[Guest guest]

Happy New Year! Love this group!

B

God grant me the senility to forget the

people I never liked anyway, the good

fortune to run into the ones that I do,

and the eyesight to tell the

difference.

Now that I'm 'older' (but refuse to grow

up), here's what I've discovered:

ONE- I started out with nothing, and I

still have most of it.

TWO- My wild oats have turned into prunes

and All Bran.

THREE- I finally got my head together;

now my body is falling apart.

FOUR- Funny, I don't remember being

absent minded...

FIVE- All reports are in; life is now

officially unfair.

SIX- If all is not lost, where is it?

SEVEN- It is easier to get older than it

is to get wiser.

EIGHT- Some days you're the dog; some

days you're the hydrant.

NINE- I wish the buck stopped here; I

sure could use a few...

TEN- Kids in the back seat cause

accidents.

ELEVEN- Accidents in the back seat

cause...kids.

TWELVE- It's hard to make a comeback when

you haven't been anywhere.

THIRTEEN- The only time the world beats a

path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.

FOURTEEN- If God wanted me to touch my

toes, he would have put them on my knees.

FIFTEEN- When I'm finally holding all the

cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?

SIXTEEN- It's not hard to meet

expenses ... they're everywhere.

SEVENTEEN- The only difference between a

rut and a grave is the depth.

EIGHTEEN- These days, I spend a lot of

time thinking about the hereafter..I go somewhere to get

something and then wonder what I'm here after.

NINETEEN- UNABLE TO REMEMBER IF I HAVE

MAILED THIS TO YOU OR NOT AND DOUBT

IF YOU CAN EITHER