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There's one other thing. As you know the clinic where I was working

to suplement my disability until I found permanent work (which is

taking forever with no contaqcts(), I got offered an interview with

a hospice. I'm very conflicted. I have to have monwey coming in

but the last job I had -- where the harassnebt started from the

woman I told you about was at a hospice. I dont believe in

coincidence anymore. But I'll go for the interview. My wonderful

soaring dreams of being a writer have crashed because the harazsment

depressed me so much that I could not write. I'm hoping that

medication will give me to the point where I can dream and have hope

for h=the future again. Right now it seems totally hopeless in

every way. Young beautiful mean women can be poisonous. I want my

last years to be happoy and successful. I joined a writing group

last week and wil continue with that -- weekly writing and

critique. I write these messages because leukemia has actually

seemed a small thing given what I've been through. I hope to attend

a jazzfest tomorrow in Washington, enjoy myself and ready myself for

better people in my life who stand by me during difficult times and

don't take the first opportunity to betray a trust.

Thanks for listening. My next posts should be more hopeful.

L.