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,

I live in Illinois, and it's a program through the state. It's for

disabled people who might otherwise have to be placed in a nursing

home type of facility because they cannot care for themselves enough

at home to live independently. It's paid for by the state. We

currently qualify because we just bought a house and have depleted

our money assets. Unfortunately, in another year or less my

husband's 401k will put us up over the limit. We won't be able to

afford to pay for assistance ourselves, so my life will become very

tough! But we will cross that bridge when we get there I guess...

>

> >,

> >I qualified for 25hr/wk (5hr/day) of in-home help. I get help with

> >laundry, meal prep, vacuuming, cleaning, driving me to dr appts,

and

> >a few other things. They are technically supposed to only help ME,

> >but the girls I had loved kids and helped give my girls (ages 1

and

> >2.5) their baths and would take them on walks outside. I have been

> >really happy with my personal assistant so far. But unfortunately,

> >she is a college student and just left on Friday to go back to

> >school out-of-state. So now I am in the process of finding

> >another. I was told (or warned, rather) NOT to go with people who

> >are on the " list " of available personal assistants given to me by

> >the CIL. Three separate sources told me that I am much better off

> >having a friend, family member, or a close acquaintance work for

me,

> >because oftentimes the wrong kind of people sign up for the

personal

> >assistant program just to take advantage of the disabled. I'm not

> >trying to be cynical after hearing the warnings from several

> >different people, as I am sure that many people on those lists are

> >great. But with me being alone at home all day with 2 small

> >children, I'd rather be safe than sorry!

> >

>

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Wow, , I didn't realize that you are in Illinois. Are you by

any chance in the Chicago area, and is the organization that helped

you " Access Living " ?

I had a very hard time getting a personal assistant, even when I

finally found out about Access Living and asked them for help with

the state. What I needed and simply could not get (and what I STILL

need to some extent, truth be told!) was someone to clean my

apartment, especially during the post-op period. The whole thing

seemed set up for sending someone to do more " medical " things, and

for many more hours a week than I needed. It was very disappointing

and frustrating.

Best,

> >

> > >,

> > >I qualified for 25hr/wk (5hr/day) of in-home help. I get help

with

> > >laundry, meal prep, vacuuming, cleaning, driving me to dr

appts,

> and

> > >a few other things. They are technically supposed to only help

ME,

> > >but the girls I had loved kids and helped give my girls (ages 1

> and

> > >2.5) their baths and would take them on walks outside. I have

been

> > >really happy with my personal assistant so far. But

unfortunately,

> > >she is a college student and just left on Friday to go back to

> > >school out-of-state. So now I am in the process of finding

> > >another. I was told (or warned, rather) NOT to go with people

who

> > >are on the " list " of available personal assistants given to me

by

> > >the CIL. Three separate sources told me that I am much better

off

> > >having a friend, family member, or a close acquaintance work

for

> me,

> > >because oftentimes the wrong kind of people sign up for the

> personal

> > >assistant program just to take advantage of the disabled. I'm

not

> > >trying to be cynical after hearing the warnings from several

> > >different people, as I am sure that many people on those lists

are

> > >great. But with me being alone at home all day with 2 small

> > >children, I'd rather be safe than sorry!

> > >

> >

>

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P.S. I also needed rides to doctors but had to cobble together

volunteer help from neighbors and religious charities and the like.

No one I managed to find under the state program had a driver's

license. Also, I tried to find out how I could have someone I knew

and liked become my personal assistant, but everyone seemed taken

aback by this request. They seemed to think it was highly irregular

and sent me bunches of forms for hiring an independent contractor

while indicating that this really " was not done. "

During the same period, a friend of mine who was becoming severely

disabled by diabetes and end-stage renal disease, and who was going

blind, was able to get somewhat better help from the state --

somehow -- than I did. Still, I was startled when she told me that

the person who, overall, worked out best for her also turned out to

be smoking pot with her son. I think this woman may also have stolen

small items from her house. I would not want to judge the whole

program by my friend's bad experiences or my own, however. I had the

sense that there was some fundamental " knack " to accessing the

system and making it work for you that I somehow could not develop

or even identify. It sounds as if you are a much more savvy consumer

than I ever managed to be!

Best,

> >

> > >,

> > >I qualified for 25hr/wk (5hr/day) of in-home help. I get help

with

> > >laundry, meal prep, vacuuming, cleaning, driving me to dr

appts,

> and

> > >a few other things. They are technically supposed to only help

ME,

> > >but the girls I had loved kids and helped give my girls (ages 1

> and

> > >2.5) their baths and would take them on walks outside. I have

been

> > >really happy with my personal assistant so far. But

unfortunately,

> > >she is a college student and just left on Friday to go back to

> > >school out-of-state. So now I am in the process of finding

> > >another. I was told (or warned, rather) NOT to go with people

who

> > >are on the " list " of available personal assistants given to me

by

> > >the CIL. Three separate sources told me that I am much better

off

> > >having a friend, family member, or a close acquaintance work

for

> me,

> > >because oftentimes the wrong kind of people sign up for the

> personal

> > >assistant program just to take advantage of the disabled. I'm

not

> > >trying to be cynical after hearing the warnings from several

> > >different people, as I am sure that many people on those lists

are

> > >great. But with me being alone at home all day with 2 small

> > >children, I'd rather be safe than sorry!

> > >

> >

>

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Ah, we have a solution to the rides problem in California, called

Pari-transit. In Oakland, they come and pick you up in a car or a

van (but you have to share the ride with others sometimes). In San

Francisco, they sent regular taxis, which weren't as good, because

they were miffed that they weren't going to get the tourists with bigger tips.

You pay for tickets to take it.

NB

At 01:19 AM 8/21/2006, you wrote:

>P.S. I also needed rides to doctors but had to cobble together

>volunteer help from neighbors and religious charities and the like.

>No one I managed to find under the state program had a driver's

>license.

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,

I used to live by my husband's family near Joliet (Shorewood,

specifically), but last year my hubby found a job near my parents in

the Rockford area. My family is smaller, but much more helpful with

me & the kids. So it was a great decision for us to move. And the

cost of living is better too! We bought a much bigger house for the

same price as the one we sold in Shorewood.

We have a local CIL called RAMP, which serves several counties here

around Rockford. They are great! But it's the state of IL DHS that

evaluated, approved, and pays for my personal assistant. RAMP is

the agency that has a list of PAs interested in finding work. A

lady from RAMP, a friend that originally told me about the PA

program, and the evaluator from DHS all advised me to find a friend

or family member to be my PA instead. I can hire anyone that I want

(excluding my hubby), they don't have to be on the " list. " In fact,

my mom fills in a lot when my PA is gone, and so I put her on the

timesheet and she gets paid for helping me. She does it without pay

too, when I need extra stuff, but it's nice to be able to pay her

sometimes!

Are you actually in Chicago, or are you in a suburb?

> > >

> > > >,

> > > >I qualified for 25hr/wk (5hr/day) of in-home help. I get help

> with

> > > >laundry, meal prep, vacuuming, cleaning, driving me to dr

> appts,

> > and

> > > >a few other things. They are technically supposed to only

help

> ME,

> > > >but the girls I had loved kids and helped give my girls (ages

1

> > and

> > > >2.5) their baths and would take them on walks outside. I have

> been

> > > >really happy with my personal assistant so far. But

> unfortunately,

> > > >she is a college student and just left on Friday to go back to

> > > >school out-of-state. So now I am in the process of finding

> > > >another. I was told (or warned, rather) NOT to go with people

> who

> > > >are on the " list " of available personal assistants given to

me

> by

> > > >the CIL. Three separate sources told me that I am much better

> off

> > > >having a friend, family member, or a close acquaintance work

> for

> > me,

> > > >because oftentimes the wrong kind of people sign up for the

> > personal

> > > >assistant program just to take advantage of the disabled. I'm

> not

> > > >trying to be cynical after hearing the warnings from several

> > > >different people, as I am sure that many people on those

lists

> are

> > > >great. But with me being alone at home all day with 2 small

> > > >children, I'd rather be safe than sorry!

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

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,

I think to be eligible for this program, you have to be considered

at risk of being permanently placed into a nursing home. I am

physically unable to fix meals for myself, and cannot do laundry,

cleaning, etc. It's meant to help people to be able to stay living

at their home instead of living in a medical facility. I'm not at

all saying that flatback problems don't cause long-term disability,

but I personally think they probably have a list of " eligible "

conditions and secondary progressive MS is on it. They probably

assume that a revision surgery " fixes " you. So they assume you'd

only need short-term special care, and therefore you're not eligible

under their standards. So even though your personal case may be

different, they (and many other ignorant people) just assume that

you are recovering and will be just fine shortly. I also think that

different DHS offices probably work differently from each other.

Just like different social security offices may approve

applications " easier " or " tougher " than others. Just my opinion

though! :)

And like I said earlier, I was strongly encouraged to get someone

that I knew to be my personal assistant. One of the people even

asked if my mom or any other family lived nearby. I was surprised,

because I thought it would look suspicious if I hired my mom to do

it. But they said it would be okay.

> > >

> > > >,

> > > >I qualified for 25hr/wk (5hr/day) of in-home help. I get help

> with

> > > >laundry, meal prep, vacuuming, cleaning, driving me to dr

> appts,

> > and

> > > >a few other things. They are technically supposed to only

help

> ME,

> > > >but the girls I had loved kids and helped give my girls (ages

1

> > and

> > > >2.5) their baths and would take them on walks outside. I have

> been

> > > >really happy with my personal assistant so far. But

> unfortunately,

> > > >she is a college student and just left on Friday to go back to

> > > >school out-of-state. So now I am in the process of finding

> > > >another. I was told (or warned, rather) NOT to go with people

> who

> > > >are on the " list " of available personal assistants given to

me

> by

> > > >the CIL. Three separate sources told me that I am much better

> off

> > > >having a friend, family member, or a close acquaintance work

> for

> > me,

> > > >because oftentimes the wrong kind of people sign up for the

> > personal

> > > >assistant program just to take advantage of the disabled. I'm

> not

> > > >trying to be cynical after hearing the warnings from several

> > > >different people, as I am sure that many people on those

lists

> are

> > > >great. But with me being alone at home all day with 2 small

> > > >children, I'd rather be safe than sorry!

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

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,

We have paratransit programs here as well. My neurologist is 2

hours away though, so I wouldn't be able to use it. The doctors in

my town are all quacks and don't specialize in MS (imagine trying to

get a regular ortho to do your flatback surgery...) so I see one in

Chicago who does tons of clinical trials. Also, I have a 1yr old &

a 2.5yr old - paratransit can't haul them around because of carseat

issues, and because they don't haul families around, just the

disabled person. And the paratransit here is pretty pricey! I

can't remember exactly how much, but I remember being surprised when

I looked into it last year.

>

> >P.S. I also needed rides to doctors but had to cobble together

> >volunteer help from neighbors and religious charities and the

like.

> >No one I managed to find under the state program had a driver's

> >license.

>

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--

Yes, I am aware of the requirement for the program, and I certainly

did not mean to put myself in the same category as someone with

progressive MS who is confined to a wheel chair. In fact, I

discourage people in this group from making any comparisons or

judgments regarding respective degrees of disability.

I am not entirely clear whether you yourself have dealt with

flatback syndrome or revision surgery. If not, I am wondering if

perhaps you may do not fully realize how seriously disabled some of

our members are -- not all of us by any means, but a significant

percentage of our group.

To use my own situation as an example: Now, admittedy, despite

being considered totally and permanently disabled, I do manage to

fix meals for myself -- not that I do much if any real cooking

anymore. The other tasks you enumerated, however, are pretty much

beyone my capacities.

In the more advanced stages of my flatback syndrome (such as shortly

before my initial 18-hour revision surgery in 2001), I had become

grossly and visibly deformed. Structurally, my torso was at a 90-

degree angle to the ground, and I walked hunched over in this

position and leaning for dear life on my walker so as not to topple

headlong into the sidewalk.

After my first revision surgeon worked his surgical magic and

radically restructured my spine (an 18- or 19-hour deal), I did

manage to receive services from the state for a short time before

more or less giving up on this program and relying more heavily on

family and neighbors. Especially during this period, I was

unquestionably in danger of ending up in a nursing home! The danger

did abate somewhat as I recovered from surgery and managed to cobble

together a bunch of personal solutions or stopgap measures for

getting through the day with help from others.

I felt great when I was finally able to give up the walker. Perhaps

this was a mite premature, considering I did go barreling facedown

into the sidewalk several times after tripping on uneven pavement.

Because I was now fused to S-1 and could not break my fall in any

reliable or adequate way, and because I was showing some degree of

recurrent or residual flatback between 2001 and my most recent four

revision surgeries in 2004, these falls were pretty bad. When my

face hit the pavement, I got some nasty facial cuts and bruises, and

on one occasion gave myself a black eye.

Please understand that I would never contend I have something

as " bad, " as you do, or disabling in a truly comparable or similar

way. I am just trying to explain, in case you may not have realized

this, that flatback syndrome can actually be profoundly disabling --

and in fact IS profoundly disabling and continuously disabling to

some of our members -- to the point at which the nursing-home

scenario is an all-too-realistic fear or prospect in our lives! The

pain that CAN accompany a flatback deformity, or which MAY persist

or recur after revision (particularly among those of us who have had

multiple revision procedures) may regularly hit 8 or 9 on that

familiar 10-point scale. As you undoubtedly know from reading these

posts, some of us would be nearly or totally immobilized without the

most potent prescription pain medication, which we must take pretty

much 24/7 -- whether orally, transdermally, or, as in my case,

intrathecally via an infusion pump surgically implanted in an

abominal pocket.

Regarding my own ability to avoid long-term nursing home care, I am

very blessed indeed. Despite my difficulty in figuring out " the

system " in my area and my failure to obtain optimal help from the

State of Illinois (or at least from the particular, applicable

office of Illinois DHS -- apparently one that may differe in some

ways from you own local office, as you point out), I am fortunate to

have a young, strong family member living with me at present who has

had time to help me in substantive and concrete ways. My son does

all our laundry, for instance (as did his dad when I was still

living with my husband -- I could not physically handle laundry for

some years before my flatback syndrome reached its most severe

level; in fact, come to think of it, not since my second spinal

fusion and first fusion with instrumentation, in 1986, even though I

did not become totally disabled until 1997 or so -- and boy, did

THAT come as a shock; in fact, it still does!)

I can not really do more than bare-minimum housework. All too often,

I strain my back trying. Matt, my son, and I were actually

scrounging up money we could ill afford to pay for someone from a

house-cleaning/maid service to clean our apartment bi-weekly, but

recently we have had to cut this out for financial reasons. Hence I

have spent part of the summer giving my son a kind of intensive

informal tutorial in such subjects as Floor Mopping 101!

He also does stuff like carrying all the garbage and trash down

several flights to the dumpster -- otherwise, I do not know what I

would do, exactly.

I was blessed that Matt chose to attend college close to home, at

Northwestern University, and he often came home from the dorms on

weekends. I provided the frozen pizzas, couch for studying, good TV,

etc., and Matt carried all those bags down for me. I can still

remember the terror I sometimes felt around, say, Thursday

(particularly during the snowiest and iciest weeks of winter),

feeling I HAD to get that garbage out of my kitchen and down the

back steps, but knowing that if I tried to do so myself, I would

risk my health and safety and possibly even my life!

My disability, like that of many others at this group, has been

confounded by medical problems other than my spinal deformities per

se. You may not always realize this from reading the day-to-day

posts, but a number of group members with disabling scoliosis/fixed

sagittal imbalance/complications of fusion or revision are also

dealing such conditions (many of them scoliosis-related) as

additional musculoskeletal or congenital neurologic malformations,

Marfan's syndrome, residual damage from poliomyelitis, narcolepsy,

advanced arthritic conditions, early and severe osteoporosis, cardio-

respiratory conditions, endocrine disorders, etc. And many of us

are, like you, responsible for very young children -- or for older

children with scoliosis, autism, bipolar disorder, etec., etc.; or,

alternatively or in addition, for aging parents, grandparents, or in-

laws who are in poor health.

I hope I do not sound excessively defensive, and I certainly hope I

have not patronized you in any way by recounting so many basic facts

of my and some other members' lives with flatback syndrome. I am so

glad you are writing to us, and I hope to hear much more about your

own life, interests, and experiences! I " kinda " know how I myself

get by from one day to the next, but I remain flabbergasted and awe-

struck to learn the stories of other brave and amazing Feisty

members who post here regularly or occasionally -- now including

you! I hope you know that you can always turn to this group for

support and caring, and I hope we can provide a resource for you (if

only emotional and informational) as you face the renewed challenges

created by your husband's 401(k) situation.

Best,

-- In , " rebeccamaas "

<rebeccamaas@...> wrote:

>

> ,

> I think to be eligible for this program, you have to be considered

> at risk of being permanently placed into a nursing home. I am

> physically unable to fix meals for myself, and cannot do laundry,

> cleaning, etc. It's meant to help people to be able to stay

living

> at their home instead of living in a medical facility. I'm not at

> all saying that flatback problems don't cause long-term

disability,

> but I personally think they probably have a list of " eligible "

> conditions and secondary progressive MS is on it. They probably

> assume that a revision surgery " fixes " you. So they assume you'd

> only need short-term special care, and therefore you're not

eligible

> under their standards. So even though your personal case may be

> different, they (and many other ignorant people) just assume that

> you are recovering and will be just fine shortly. I also think

that

> different DHS offices probably work differently from each other.

> Just like different social security offices may approve

> applications " easier " or " tougher " than others. Just my opinion

> though! :)

> And like I said earlier, I was strongly encouraged to get someone

> that I knew to be my personal assistant. One of the people even

> asked if my mom or any other family lived nearby. I was

surprised,

> because I thought it would look suspicious if I hired my mom to do

> it. But they said it would be okay.

>

>

>

> > > >

> > > > >,

> > > > >I qualified for 25hr/wk (5hr/day) of in-home help. I get

help

> > with

> > > > >laundry, meal prep, vacuuming, cleaning, driving me to dr

> > appts,

> > > and

> > > > >a few other things. They are technically supposed to only

> help

> > ME,

> > > > >but the girls I had loved kids and helped give my girls

(ages

> 1

> > > and

> > > > >2.5) their baths and would take them on walks outside. I

have

> > been

> > > > >really happy with my personal assistant so far. But

> > unfortunately,

> > > > >she is a college student and just left on Friday to go back

to

> > > > >school out-of-state. So now I am in the process of finding

> > > > >another. I was told (or warned, rather) NOT to go with

people

> > who

> > > > >are on the " list " of available personal assistants given to

> me

> > by

> > > > >the CIL. Three separate sources told me that I am much

better

> > off

> > > > >having a friend, family member, or a close acquaintance

work

> > for

> > > me,

> > > > >because oftentimes the wrong kind of people sign up for the

> > > personal

> > > > >assistant program just to take advantage of the disabled.

I'm

> > not

> > > > >trying to be cynical after hearing the warnings from several

> > > > >different people, as I am sure that many people on those

> lists

> > are

> > > > >great. But with me being alone at home all day with 2 small

> > > > >children, I'd rather be safe than sorry!

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

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Share on other sites

--

Yes, I am aware of the requirement for the program, and I certainly

did not mean to put myself in the same category as someone with

progressive MS who is confined to a wheel chair. In fact, I

discourage people in this group from making any comparisons or

judgments regarding respective degrees of disability.

I am not entirely clear whether you yourself have dealt with

flatback syndrome or revision surgery. If not, I am wondering if

perhaps you may do not fully realize how seriously disabled some of

our members are -- not all of us by any means, but a significant

percentage of our group.

To use my own situation as an example: Now, admittedy, despite

being considered totally and permanently disabled, I do manage to

fix meals for myself -- not that I do much if any real cooking

anymore. The other tasks you enumerated, however, are pretty much

beyone my capacities.

In the more advanced stages of my flatback syndrome (such as shortly

before my initial 18-hour revision surgery in 2001), I had become

grossly and visibly deformed. Structurally, my torso was at a 90-

degree angle to the ground, and I walked hunched over in this

position and leaning for dear life on my walker so as not to topple

headlong into the sidewalk.

After my first revision surgeon worked his surgical magic and

radically restructured my spine (an 18- or 19-hour deal), I did

manage to receive services from the state for a short time before

more or less giving up on this program and relying more heavily on

family and neighbors. Especially during this period, I was

unquestionably in danger of ending up in a nursing home! The danger

did abate somewhat as I recovered from surgery and managed to cobble

together a bunch of personal solutions or stopgap measures for

getting through the day with help from others.

I felt great when I was finally able to give up the walker. Perhaps

this was a mite premature, considering I did go barreling facedown

into the sidewalk several times after tripping on uneven pavement.

Because I was now fused to S-1 and could not break my fall in any

reliable or adequate way, and because I was showing some degree of

recurrent or residual flatback between 2001 and my most recent four

revision surgeries in 2004, these falls were pretty bad. When my

face hit the pavement, I got some nasty facial cuts and bruises, and

on one occasion gave myself a black eye.

Please understand that I would never contend I have something

as " bad, " as you do, or disabling in a truly comparable or similar

way. I am just trying to explain, in case you may not have realized

this, that flatback syndrome can actually be profoundly disabling --

and in fact IS profoundly disabling and continuously disabling to

some of our members -- to the point at which the nursing-home

scenario is an all-too-realistic fear or prospect in our lives! The

pain that CAN accompany a flatback deformity, or which MAY persist

or recur after revision (particularly among those of us who have had

multiple revision procedures) may regularly hit 8 or 9 on that

familiar 10-point scale. As you undoubtedly know from reading these

posts, some of us would be nearly or totally immobilized without the

most potent prescription pain medication, which we must take pretty

much 24/7 -- whether orally, transdermally, or, as in my case,

intrathecally via an infusion pump surgically implanted in an

abominal pocket.

Regarding my own ability to avoid long-term nursing home care, I am

very blessed indeed. Despite my difficulty in figuring out " the

system " in my area and my failure to obtain optimal help from the

State of Illinois (or at least from the particular, applicable

office of Illinois DHS -- apparently one that may differe in some

ways from you own local office, as you point out), I am fortunate to

have a young, strong family member living with me at present who has

had time to help me in substantive and concrete ways. My son does

all our laundry, for instance (as did his dad when I was still

living with my husband -- I could not physically handle laundry for

some years before my flatback syndrome reached its most severe

level; in fact, come to think of it, not since my second spinal

fusion and first fusion with instrumentation, in 1986, even though I

did not become totally disabled until 1997 or so -- and boy, did

THAT come as a shock; in fact, it still does!)

I can not really do more than bare-minimum housework. All too often,

I strain my back trying. Matt, my son, and I were actually

scrounging up money we could ill afford to pay for someone from a

house-cleaning/maid service to clean our apartment bi-weekly, but

recently we have had to cut this out for financial reasons. Hence I

have spent part of the summer giving my son a kind of intensive

informal tutorial in such subjects as Floor Mopping 101!

He also does stuff like carrying all the garbage and trash down

several flights to the dumpster -- otherwise, I do not know what I

would do, exactly.

I was blessed that Matt chose to attend college close to home, at

Northwestern University, and he often came home from the dorms on

weekends. I provided the frozen pizzas, couch for studying, good TV,

etc., and Matt carried all those bags down for me. I can still

remember the terror I sometimes felt around, say, Thursday

(particularly during the snowiest and iciest weeks of winter),

feeling I HAD to get that garbage out of my kitchen and down the

back steps, but knowing that if I tried to do so myself, I would

risk my health and safety and possibly even my life!

My disability, like that of many others at this group, has been

confounded by medical problems other than my spinal deformities per

se. You may not always realize this from reading the day-to-day

posts, but a number of group members with disabling scoliosis/fixed

sagittal imbalance/complications of fusion or revision are also

dealing such conditions (many of them scoliosis-related) as

additional musculoskeletal or congenital neurologic malformations,

Marfan's syndrome, residual damage from poliomyelitis, narcolepsy,

advanced arthritic conditions, early and severe osteoporosis, cardio-

respiratory conditions, endocrine disorders, etc. And many of us

are, like you, responsible for very young children -- or for older

children with scoliosis, autism, bipolar disorder, etec., etc.; or,

alternatively or in addition, for aging parents, grandparents, or in-

laws who are in poor health.

I hope I do not sound excessively defensive, and I certainly hope I

have not patronized you in any way by recounting so many basic facts

of my and some other members' lives with flatback syndrome. I am so

glad you are writing to us, and I hope to hear much more about your

own life, interests, and experiences! I " kinda " know how I myself

get by from one day to the next, but I remain flabbergasted and awe-

struck to learn the stories of other brave and amazing Feisty

members who post here regularly or occasionally -- now including

you! I hope you know that you can always turn to this group for

support and caring, and I hope we can provide a resource for you (if

only emotional and informational) as you face the renewed challenges

created by your husband's 401(k) situation.

Best,

-- In , " rebeccamaas "

<rebeccamaas@...> wrote:

>

> ,

> I think to be eligible for this program, you have to be considered

> at risk of being permanently placed into a nursing home. I am

> physically unable to fix meals for myself, and cannot do laundry,

> cleaning, etc. It's meant to help people to be able to stay

living

> at their home instead of living in a medical facility. I'm not at

> all saying that flatback problems don't cause long-term

disability,

> but I personally think they probably have a list of " eligible "

> conditions and secondary progressive MS is on it. They probably

> assume that a revision surgery " fixes " you. So they assume you'd

> only need short-term special care, and therefore you're not

eligible

> under their standards. So even though your personal case may be

> different, they (and many other ignorant people) just assume that

> you are recovering and will be just fine shortly. I also think

that

> different DHS offices probably work differently from each other.

> Just like different social security offices may approve

> applications " easier " or " tougher " than others. Just my opinion

> though! :)

> And like I said earlier, I was strongly encouraged to get someone

> that I knew to be my personal assistant. One of the people even

> asked if my mom or any other family lived nearby. I was

surprised,

> because I thought it would look suspicious if I hired my mom to do

> it. But they said it would be okay.

>

>

>

> > > >

> > > > >,

> > > > >I qualified for 25hr/wk (5hr/day) of in-home help. I get

help

> > with

> > > > >laundry, meal prep, vacuuming, cleaning, driving me to dr

> > appts,

> > > and

> > > > >a few other things. They are technically supposed to only

> help

> > ME,

> > > > >but the girls I had loved kids and helped give my girls

(ages

> 1

> > > and

> > > > >2.5) their baths and would take them on walks outside. I

have

> > been

> > > > >really happy with my personal assistant so far. But

> > unfortunately,

> > > > >she is a college student and just left on Friday to go back

to

> > > > >school out-of-state. So now I am in the process of finding

> > > > >another. I was told (or warned, rather) NOT to go with

people

> > who

> > > > >are on the " list " of available personal assistants given to

> me

> > by

> > > > >the CIL. Three separate sources told me that I am much

better

> > off

> > > > >having a friend, family member, or a close acquaintance

work

> > for

> > > me,

> > > > >because oftentimes the wrong kind of people sign up for the

> > > personal

> > > > >assistant program just to take advantage of the disabled.

I'm

> > not

> > > > >trying to be cynical after hearing the warnings from several

> > > > >different people, as I am sure that many people on those

> lists

> > are

> > > > >great. But with me being alone at home all day with 2 small

> > > > >children, I'd rather be safe than sorry!

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

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,

No I don't think that at all. And I apologize, as I stated earlier

I can never seem to express clearly/exactly/eloquently what I mean!

What I was trying to say was that I think the State probably looks

at flatback as something " fixable " or temporary and may not approve

those people for in-home help as readily as someone with a different

or more " mainstream/accepted " disabling condition. It's not the way

that I personally think about it, but it's my opinion of how the

State views flatback when reviewing disability applications.

When I was on a scoliosis list a few years ago (which I think you,

Racine, Twisted Sister, Ledger, and a few others were on

at one time - there was the mit.edu one, then it switched to a

one), I remember one of the biggest insults was how uninformed

people and even doctors considered the regular original surgeries as

complete fixes. They would say that you were done, as good as new,

and go on with your lives - maybe with a few physical restrictions.

Yet the doctors didn't want to admit that so many people were having

major problems years later.

I wasn't trying to judge anyone based on " degrees " of disability, so

I'm sorry if anyone took it like that. I have heard your personal

story several times , even a number of years ago on one of

the other lists. And I don't doubt at all that you physically

qualify for the standards of in-home care from DHS. To say you've

had a rough time with it all is a horrible understatement. I

wouldn't wish that on anyone. Your attitude after all you've been

through is just amazing to me. I was meaning to point out that I

think the dhs (and also the soc sec disability office) has a list of

conditions that they think should qualify. Unfortunately,

scoliosis - and therefore in their minds scoliosis-related problems

like flatback - isn't on their list, so people in your situation

don't qualify very easily. Does that make sense to you? I hope it

comes across the way I mean it to. I guess I'm trying to say that

you probably have to jump through a lot more hoops to get approved

than people with other conditions. These agencies may look at

flatback the same way that naive people looked at scoliosis for many

years - a somewhat temporary problem, surgically fixable and

you're " good as new " .

That whole idea infuriates me, especially when I had some ignorant

person tell me a few years ago that I was LUCKY to have a " new back "

(what the heck did they think I had done??) - because they were

currently having some back problems themselves and wish they could

go get it all " fixed " like me. I asked a friend about a comment she

made like that, and she actually thought that I had gotten a nice

straight and perfect back from the surgery years ago and now would

never have to deal with back pain or other back problems

that " normal " people have to deal with! She wasn't being mean, she

is a really good friend and was just insanely ignorant about it.

Luckily, I have permanent possession of all of my x-rays, and then

next time she came over I showed her what they looked like.

So once again I apologize if my previous message sounded rude or

insensitive to those with flatback. I was trying to state how I

think the various disability agencies look at things, not the way

that " I " personally think.

And kudos to your son for all he does for you, . My

husband is a huge help to me, and I don't know what I would do

without him.

P.S. As I posted before, I've never been diagnosed with flatback,

and have no idea if I have it or not. I was fused t4-l4 in 1989 -

curves were both near 70 and corrected to the mid 50s. I'm 30 now

and even before MS had considerable back pain which is unexplained -

muscle relaxants (regular and neurological), naproxen, ibuprofen, &

vicodin don't touch it. My doc won't prescribe anything stronger

for me than the vicodin right now. I couldn't stand up straight

even before the MS diagnosis. I have some doubts that all of my

pain & mobility issues are entirely MS-related, so I am trying to

stay as informed as possible on flatback since a few of my problems

seem consistent with that. I was actually trying to look into it a

few years ago as I was first getting diagnosed with MS, thinking

maybe I had it, instead of or in addition to MS. In recent years,

MS problems have overwhelmed me and had to take precedence

medically - so I haven't had the time, money, or energy left to look

at any possible spinal issues.

>

> --

>

> Yes, I am aware of the requirement for the program, and I

certainly

> did not mean to put myself in the same category as someone with

> progressive MS who is confined to a wheel chair. In fact, I

> discourage people in this group from making any comparisons or

> judgments regarding respective degrees of disability.

>

> I am not entirely clear whether you yourself have dealt with

> flatback syndrome or revision surgery. If not, I am wondering if

> perhaps you may do not fully realize how seriously disabled some

of

> our members are -- not all of us by any means, but a significant

> percentage of our group.

>

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