Re: falling and balance/hypervigilance

[Guest guest]

I won't wear bifocals although I could because I'm afraid of falling, and I

always watch the steps when I go down stairs w/a fear of fallling and use the

handrail if there is one. At movie theaters, I feel a flash of fear if there

isn't one because I'm aware that if I fall, there could be serious consequences.

All of your comments helped me realize that this is related to scoliosis of

course. It makes perfect sense. For some reason before surgery I had almost

perfect balance, but after it was never the same. I miss that!

This also reminded me about another concern that is almost instinctive now

and that is hypervigilance about my back in crowds. In restaurants I sit in

booths whenever possible and my husband always walks so he can " guard " my back

in

a crowd. About 3 weeks ago, a friend and I were eating in a restaurant. I was

sitting in a booth, but I had made the mistake of sitting in one that was not

on the end. The couple sitting behind me got up suddenly and the booth must

have raised off the floor about a foot and dropped. I thought I was doing to die

it hurt so bad. Generally I don't show pain in public but I came

unglued...and before I knew it, I said, " That hurt! " and tears came to my eyes.

The woman

looked at me and said, " Well, I didn't do it on purpose! " She seemed angry

w/me so I realized she thought I was being rude. I was speechless because of the

pain so I couldn't even respond. Another flashbulb moment when I realized that

how most people are completely unaware of causing pain. I thought about how I

would have responded and I would have said, " Are you o.k.? " because I would

have seen the tears and distress in my face, but maybe that's because I'm

sensitive to pain in others....

[Guest guest]

Jennie,

You had already told me about your restaurant experience. But I want

to say again that I am outraged. Lately people seem much more callous

and preoccupied and self-absorbed. (A comment on my own experiences

of reactions to disability: I love the ones who just stand by while

you scramble to get up from the sidewalk. But personally causing

your injury -- then going " Duh " -- is even worse.)

I don't know if people really are worse these days, or if I was naive

and idealistic about the human species before. Things always look

different from the vantage point of the unlucky and downtrodden. So

many people with better luck react to such unpleasantness as another

person's misery by trying to find some way to blame that person for

what has befallen her, even if it is their own damn fault.

I found myself wishing I had been at the restaurant with you. I would

have given that woman hell. Not that that would have helped.

I just watched another re-run of " Judging Amy. " Amy begs her mother

Maxine, the social worker, not to give up her job with Children's

Services in spite of too much b.s., official apathy, and general

chronic futility. She tells Maxine that her own work in juvenile

court -- her continuing to fight for children -- is because of how

she was raised by Maxine. She agrees with her mother on how things

have gone down the tubes, how things seem much more complex and

difficult: " Yes, I think the world IS worse now than it used to be --

but that just means we have to fight harder. "

That is not how I feel today. I am having one of my more discouraged

days. But it is an attitude I admire.

Do you think glasses are an important factor in balance, avoiding

falls, etc.? I have those newfangled " trifocals. " I have had them

way too long and am badly overdue for a new Rx. I wonder if this

could have been a factor in my serious falls on my face this past

year. I had never thought of that before.

> I won't wear bifocals although I could because I'm afraid of

falling, and I

> always watch the steps when I go down stairs w/a fear of fallling

and use the

> handrail if there is one. At movie theaters, I feel a flash of fear

if there

> isn't one because I'm aware that if I fall, there could be serious

consequences.

> All of your comments helped me realize that this is related to

scoliosis of

> course. It makes perfect sense. For some reason before surgery I

had almost

> perfect balance, but after it was never the same. I miss that!

>

> This also reminded me about another concern that is almost

instinctive now

> and that is hypervigilance about my back in crowds. In restaurants

I sit in

> booths whenever possible and my husband always walks so he

can " guard " my back in

> a crowd. About 3 weeks ago, a friend and I were eating in a

restaurant. I was

> sitting in a booth, but I had made the mistake of sitting in one

that was not

> on the end. The couple sitting behind me got up suddenly and the

booth must

> have raised off the floor about a foot and dropped. I thought I was

doing to die

> it hurt so bad. Generally I don't show pain in public but I came

> unglued...and before I knew it, I said, " That hurt! " and tears came

to my eyes. The woman

> looked at me and said, " Well, I didn't do it on purpose! " She

seemed angry

> w/me so I realized she thought I was being rude. I was speechless

because of the

> pain so I couldn't even respond. Another flashbulb moment when I

realized that

> how most people are completely unaware of causing pain. I thought

about how I

> would have responded and I would have said, " Are you o.k.? " because

I would

> have seen the tears and distress in my face, but maybe that's

because I'm

> sensitive to pain in others....

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I get paranoid standing in the line at the grocery store... on more than one

occasion I've been 'rammed' in my back by some kid whose parent is too busy

reading The National Enquirer or arranging a play date on their cell phone to

realize that their child is using the grocery cart as a weapon to inflict

excruiciating pain on the person in front of them. I hate when it happens to

me..I really see red when I see a kid doing it to a senior citizen!! I used to

keep my mouth shut and try to hold back the tears that inevitabely form...I no

longer remain quiet!! It's rude, it's unnecesaary, and although I usually get

the evil eye from the parent involved, I have also been applauded by others in

line!! I have little to NO patience lately and I pity the poor fool that is on

the receiving end of one of my recent tirades!!

All the best,

Beth

[Guest guest]

,

I really believe that our depth perception, (especially when altered by bi-,

tri-, or Transition lenses) coupled with the fact that our balance is already

altered due to the Flatback deformities plays a major factor in our tendancy to

loose or balance or worse, actually fall!

ALl the best,

Beth

[Guest guest]

I'm sure you're right about this.

I am going to try soft lenses and reading glasses if needed. I saw the

optometrist a few days ago and was told for the first time that I might be able

to wear contacts now despite my astigmatism.

Best,

Re: falling and balance/hypervigilance

,

I really believe that our depth perception, (especially when altered by bi-,

tri-, or Transition lenses) coupled with the fact that our balance is already

altered due to the Flatback deformities plays a major factor in our tendancy to

loose or balance or worse, actually fall!

ALl the best,

Beth

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