Re: Handicapp Sticker

[Guest guest]

What a horrible experience! I have heard of people making all kinds of dumb and hurtful remarks (and have been the recipient of some of them), but come on, questioning a handicapped parking permit? Like the parking attendant thought he knew better than the agency that issued you the permit and the doctor who signed your application? Do you think this person may have had some kind of intelligence deficit, or does he practice sadism as a hobby, or what? I certainly hope he was totally ashamed of himself after your husband had that little talk with him.You mentioned that this is why you push yourself (probably way too much) or refrain from doing things at all. I can truly empathize, and I have been there myself -- but I think we need to try, whenever we can, to live our lives without reference to the boorish dorks and idle ignorami we dread encountering out there in the world. I am working on not taking it personally and relegating it to a mental file labeled "THEIR problem." I am far from attaining my desired attitude change, though -- I can tell just from having read your story and felt my blood pressure rising!If you ever want to read some howlers, I suggest getting hold of the memoir *Limbo* by A. (I think that's her initial) Ansay. I read this before she became a best-selling novelist and felt I had stumbled on a real "find." In fact, I was moved to review the memoir at Amazon, and you can also find my review somewhere here at the site, I think under "Files" -- I stuck it in there because it related to disability. What I didn't recount in my review, though, was any of the specific upsetting encounters the author had with various obnoxious types after she started using a wheel chair. (Having a highly visible disability doesn't seem to offer much protection!) She had some wonderful comebacks of the type I only wish I could think of at the time an incident occurs. Let's just hope your run-in with "Mr. 'Well-DUH'" was a one-of-a-kind, once-in-a-lifetime happening. I would hate to think there are too many more guys like him out there. I am still wondering what was wrong with him, i.e., genuine meanness or some kind of fundamental social deficit . . . . Best,In , "scoliosis1993" <karenpattersoncpa@...> wrote:>> My husband is a major league baseball coach and I have not been to a game in about 2 years. Today I took our daughter and when I got out of the car (yes, I parked in a handicapped spot because it is much closer and I still have to walk up about 20 stairs), the parking attendant asked me who was the handicapp sticker for. I said me. He asked if I was joking. I said no. He asked if I was serious. I said yes, I have 27 3 inch screws and 2 steel bars about 24 inches and am missing an entire vertebrae with a cage. He said, oh ok then, you just don't LOOK handicap. Well, neither do those with cancer, heart, or lung conditions, and etc. I was in tears by the time I made it to the gate. Needless to say my husband had a "talk" with him and he profusely apologized. But that was my worst dream come true- the reason that most of the time I just suck it up and push on or just don't do a lot of things. But I made it through this whole and now one more person is educated about hidden disabilities and won't hurt another person's feelings. Well, I just had to vent. I am sorry about the grammar and spelling but today was a particularly hard day... And I "tapped" a lady on a bike with my car on the way to the ballpark because I have such a hard time turning my neck. I need a driver!!>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the encouragement ! It did make my blood boil but I do not

think that he will EVER comment on someone else's disability, which is good. I

just cannot tell you how many times I have heard, " but you are so young and you

look so healthy!! " I am glad that I look that way but it seems to put me in a

defensive situation. I normally just turn and walk away.

I will look up the readings you suggested. It is nice to know that you are not

the only one going through things.

I used to have a lot of comments about the scars on my forehead because they

look similar to bullet holes. They are the halo holes. For some reason the one

on the right side looks worse so people ask what happened. Sometimes I just say

that I was shot twice in the head and survived!! I think that is so funny!

But really, I think some people are just rude and it does not only have to do

with our disabilities, which is important to remember. When I got married, my

husband bought me a rather large ring (he was financially settled as he waited

until he was 40 to get married and I was 27). Anyway, I had several cashiers

notice it when I was making out checks and they would ask me if it was real.

Really!?! So what if it was a CZ!?! Would it matter? People are just strange

about what they think they can ask strangers about.

Well, I am about to start winding down for the night. I enjoyed talking to you!

Take care!

> >

> > My husband is a major league baseball coach and I have not been to a

> game in about 2 years. Today I took our daughter and when I got out of

> the car (yes, I parked in a handicapped spot because it is much closer

> and I still have to walk up about 20 stairs), the parking attendant

> asked me who was the handicapp sticker for. I said me. He asked if I

> was joking. I said no. He asked if I was serious. I said yes, I have

> 27 3 inch screws and 2 steel bars about 24 inches and am missing an

> entire vertebrae with a cage. He said, oh ok then, you just don't LOOK

> handicap. Well, neither do those with cancer, heart, or lung

> conditions, and etc. I was in tears by the time I made it to the gate.

> Needless to say my husband had a " talk " with him and he profusely

> apologized. But that was my worst dream come true- the reason that most

> of the time I just suck it up and push on or just don't do a lot of

> things. But I made it through this whole and now one more person is

> educated about hidden disabilities and won't hurt another person's

> feelings. Well, I just had to vent. I am sorry about the grammar and

> spelling but today was a particularly hard day... And I " tapped " a lady

> on a bike with my car on the way to the ballpark because I have such a

> hard time turning my neck. I need a driver!!

> >

>