Re: People are pushing me

[Guest guest]

If you feel that strongly about homeschooling I say that the very least you

can do is give it a try. If it doesn't work out, then go the school route.

At least you can fulfill what your heart tells you.

Diane

People are pushing me

>More specifically, it's dh who's pushing me to send our oldest to school

>next year. I have planned to homeschool for some time, but my family

>thinks that it will be impossible b/c Ryker is such a pistol. We also have

>a one year old and a baby due in Oct/Nov. No one has any faith in me, or

>Ryker for that matter, that homeschooling will be a viable option. They

>think I need to send him to school to get a break, that he'll be impossible

>to hs, etc etc. Well, I happen to think it can work, I at the very least

>want to try it. I have entertained the idea of school during some tough

>days, but really I don't think I want to send him there, for a couple of

>reasons. One is that school safety is not something that I am reassured

>about these days. Don't think I need to elaborate there. The second is

>b/c Ryker has not been vaxxed for almost 3 years; I think the last one he

>got was the cp shot sometime in '97. There's really no medical reason for

>him not have shots, as far as prior reactions, etc., so I can't really go

>there. And for a religious exemption? I don't feel comfortable taking

>that either, b/c religious reasons are not behind my decisions, though

>certainly they factor in somewhat as far as vaccines being cultured(?) on

>aborted fetuses in some cases. My reason is that I don't think they're

>safe; I know I'm not comfortable having my children injected with the

>substances found in vaccines, etc etc. I just don't like 'em! But my

>state (OR) has no philosophical exemption, so where does that leave me if I

>do decide to send at least Ryker to school? I don't want to lie. I have

>never asked my church's stance on vaccination, though I suppose I could if

>it came down to it----or is it okay for a religious exemption to be based

>on personally held beliefs?

>

>In my shoes what would you do? If I end up sending him to kindergarten

>and/or first grade (b/c those would probably be the most difficult years

>with the two youngest), what do I do?

>

>Thanks,

>

>Tami

>

>

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[Guest guest]

YES! I hate it when other people's fears are instilled in others just because

THEY are the ones with the issues. Geesh..

Diane Emerick wrote:

> If you feel that strongly about homeschooling I say that the very least you

> can do is give it a try. If it doesn't work out, then go the school route.

> At least you can fulfill what your heart tells you.

>

> Diane

> People are pushing me

>

> >More specifically, it's dh who's pushing me to send our oldest to school

> >next year. I have planned to homeschool for some time, but my family

> >thinks that it will be impossible b/c Ryker is such a pistol. We also have

> >a one year old and a baby due in Oct/Nov. No one has any faith in me, or

> >Ryker for that matter, that homeschooling will be a viable option. They

> >think I need to send him to school to get a break, that he'll be impossible

> >to hs, etc etc. Well, I happen to think it can work, I at the very least

> >want to try it. I have entertained the idea of school during some tough

> >days, but really I don't think I want to send him there, for a couple of

> >reasons. One is that school safety is not something that I am reassured

> >about these days. Don't think I need to elaborate there. The second is

> >b/c Ryker has not been vaxxed for almost 3 years; I think the last one he

> >got was the cp shot sometime in '97. There's really no medical reason for

> >him not have shots, as far as prior reactions, etc., so I can't really go

> >there. And for a religious exemption? I don't feel comfortable taking

> >that either, b/c religious reasons are not behind my decisions, though

> >certainly they factor in somewhat as far as vaccines being cultured(?) on

> >aborted fetuses in some cases. My reason is that I don't think they're

> >safe; I know I'm not comfortable having my children injected with the

> >substances found in vaccines, etc etc. I just don't like 'em! But my

> >state (OR) has no philosophical exemption, so where does that leave me if I

> >do decide to send at least Ryker to school? I don't want to lie. I have

> >never asked my church's stance on vaccination, though I suppose I could if

> >it came down to it----or is it okay for a religious exemption to be based

> >on personally held beliefs?

> >

> >In my shoes what would you do? If I end up sending him to kindergarten

> >and/or first grade (b/c those would probably be the most difficult years

> >with the two youngest), what do I do?

> >

> >Thanks,

> >

> >Tami

> >

> >

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> >

> >

> >

>

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[Guest guest]

Tami,

I understand where you are coming from. I was told not to give birth at

home, not to homeschool, not to allow my children in my bed, not to do

almost everything that I've felt strongly about. I have gone ahead and done

all of those things and now I'm being told by the very same people who said

I couldn't, shouldn't, do them that they admire me for being so determined

and for doing what I believe is best for my children despite the lack of

social support. They tell me that they wish they would have homeschooled,

or that they wish they had the patience or time to homeschool. My mother

is now even supporting my decision to not vaccinate. She who so vehmently

was against me birthing at home is now asking me for birth pictures and

telling me how utterly beautiful they are. She brags to her friends about

me and my 'odd' ways. *LOL* My friend who at one time thought I had

reckless, crazy, idea's is now almost literally following in my footsteps.

I'm not bragging, although I do feel very good about some of the decisions

I've made, especially when there have been so many bad decisions made right

along with the good.

My point is that people change their minds all the time, and until you show

them that you can do it, they will not know that you can. Homeschooling

isn't a common thing and people tend to be afraid of what they don't know.

The people who are pressuring you just may not understand how very easy it

is to homeschool. The only thing that's tough about it is that your child

will not behave as well (this is my experience) at home as he would at

school with a not so familiar teacher. It's a challenge, but it's rewarding

too.

Try it. Stick with it for as long as you want. If there comes a day when

you feel your child will do better in school, or you feel that you need the

time with your younger children, (I've felt that way a time or two) then you

can send your oldest to school. If you decide after your child is enrolled

in school that it just isn't working then pull him out and homeschool again.

There aren't too many rules that can't be changed.

Just to be clear, I wouldn't keep entering and pulling my children out of

school on a whim.

Of course your husband will have a say, but if it's just that he doesn't

think you can do it... well, maybe you can and maybe you can't. One thing

is for certain - it won't hurt so why not at least try?

All the best to you,

Jeannie

Mommy to 3 sweet boys

[Guest guest]

My daughter was in Montessori for 2 years (2yo-4yo), largely because I was a

School Administrator. While she was there, I began collecting and making

Montessori materials, etc. When I finally pulled her out (yes, even the

Montessori didn't please me), I had quite a few things on hand - and by then

we had Wyatt. We took 2 hours each day, basically, to go through worksheets

from books which I had purchased at & Noble. We took each day as it

came. " Unschooling " is unstructured, in that there is no curriculum (like

Abeka, or Waldorf), so you take each day as it comes. Some days we went on

field trips, some days we worked in the garden. Some days we worked on

" school work " for 4 or 5 hours. My plan was to have Wyatt begin with the

Montessori materials while I worked with Stormy, however, I had to change

that this year because he has a condition (apraxia) which prevents him from

speaking (among other things), and it became increasingly frustrating for my

dd who was getting less and less of my time, due to therapies, surgeries,

etc. So I put her in Kindergarten (she is 6). I wanted her in 1st grade,

but the district has rules. They also would not accomodate her skill levels

(she has a 3rd grade reading level and a 2nd grade math level - her social

skills are up there with 8 and 9 year olds - and sometimes much better).

Also, there is no full day kindergarten, and I had to either put her in at

the 7:30am or 11am time frame. Forget 7:30a. And 11am wrecks my day (and

everyone else's). So, in addition to the rotten behaviors she has picked up

in 2 months, I wasn't happy to begin with.

Well, enough of my story... Here's what you tell people: 1) academically:

In the vast majority of cases, homeschooled children excel. They score much

higher on tests, and they reach specific levels much sooner (many start

college courses at 16). 2) time: You can do in 2 hours what it takes the

district to maybe do in 8 hours. 3) social: most children learn by

example. from 3 to 6 they are exploring who they are and how they are.

they'll try a lot of new things. if they are in school, their models are

other children, who may or may not behave as you'd like - and that's what

your child brings home. believe me, I'm there and it's hugely frustrating.

We had to get the time-out chair out again. My dd has no problem getting

along with the other children in the neighborhood, who range in age from 1 to

11. They all request to play with her on a daily basis, and she has already

had several overnights. 4) You're kids are going to become more secure in

themselves and their environment. By the time they're 8, they will have had

a lot of " you're great " inputs, very little bad input. They'll be more

confident, and at that time, if they're ready to separate, then that's great,

put them in school (make sure they can accomodate the accelerated levels your

child may be at). If you don't have kids in your neighborhood, find a HS

group in your area - they are everywhere. The net is a good place to start

the search.

[Guest guest]

Tami,

Follow your heart and intuition. It also might help if you find a

homeschool group - even if it is just for *fellowship*. You'll feel better

around like-minded people. If you decide it would be best to send him to

school, I would do everything and anything not to have him vaccinated any

more.

We don't tell everyone we don't vaccinate. We just say

'She has what the Dr. says she needs'. There are people in our family, an

aunt who is a big shot at a local hospital, who I wouldn't never tell that

we don't vaccinate bc I can see her taking our children *for their own good*

and giving them shots. It get's overwhelming sometimes, especially when it

seems like so many people are against you. I feel that way with both sides

of our family - and sometimes (like Easter) I feel like no one has respect

for us. But, my daughter, even at 11 months, is the most well behaved,

happiest and healthiest of all the children around (okay, so I am her mommy,

but it's true). And that is what is important.

I also think that people get very defensive when you do something different,

especially when it *hits home*. " So you think you're child is smarter than

mine bc you home school? " " So you think your child is healthier than mine

bc you don't vaccinate " . " My childs teachers have degrees from Ivy League

colleges and his Dr.s are world renowned " . To some people Titles and

Degrees are important and when you go against the grain, against what THEY

do, watch out!!

It is important that you and your husband are in agreement too, more so than

with anyone elese. Talk to him about your son getting taught sex education

in first grade and learning about drugs in the public school. You have no

control what they teach either and you, his mommy, have his BEST interest in

mind. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You might not have a teaching

degree but I can tell that you are much, much smarter than those public

school teachers!!

Good luck! -Dawn

People are pushing me

> More specifically, it's dh who's pushing me to send our oldest to school

> next year. I have planned to homeschool for some time, but my family

> thinks that it will be impossible b/c Ryker is such a pistol. We also

have

> a one year old and a baby due in Oct/Nov. No one has any faith in me, or

> Ryker for that matter, that homeschooling will be a viable option. They

> think I need to send him to school to get a break, that he'll be

impossible

> to hs, etc etc. Well, I happen to think it can work, I at the very least

> want to try it. I have entertained the idea of school during some tough

> days, but really I don't think I want to send him there, for a couple of

> reasons. One is that school safety is not something that I am reassured

> about these days. Don't think I need to elaborate there. The second is

> b/c Ryker has not been vaxxed for almost 3 years; I think the last one he

> got was the cp shot sometime in '97. There's really no medical reason for

> him not have shots, as far as prior reactions, etc., so I can't really go

> there. And for a religious exemption? I don't feel comfortable taking

> that either, b/c religious reasons are not behind my decisions, though

> certainly they factor in somewhat as far as vaccines being cultured(?) on

> aborted fetuses in some cases. My reason is that I don't think they're

> safe; I know I'm not comfortable having my children injected with the

> substances found in vaccines, etc etc. I just don't like 'em! But my

> state (OR) has no philosophical exemption, so where does that leave me if

I

> do decide to send at least Ryker to school? I don't want to lie. I have

> never asked my church's stance on vaccination, though I suppose I could if

> it came down to it----or is it okay for a religious exemption to be based

> on personally held beliefs?

>

> In my shoes what would you do? If I end up sending him to kindergarten

> and/or first grade (b/c those would probably be the most difficult years

> with the two youngest), what do I do?

>

> Thanks,

>

> Tami

>

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> You have a voice mail message waiting for you at iHello.com:

> 1/3555/5/_/489317/_/957392712/

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>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Did your daughter miss school or friends? I'm taking my daughter out of

Montessori after my next birth (she's 3 1/2). I keep telling her she's not

going to school anymore when the baby is born and she'll stay home and help

daddy take care of the baby and go to play group,... Sometimes she is

excited but she often gets upset and cries and says she wants to go back to

school and misses her friends.

L.

Re: People are pushing me

> My daughter was in Montessori for 2 years (2yo-4yo), largely because I was

a

> School Administrator. While she was there, I began collecting and making

> Montessori materials, etc. When I finally pulled her out (yes, even the

> Montessori didn't please me), I had quite a few things on hand - and by

then

> we had Wyatt. We took 2 hours each day, basically, to go through

worksheets

> from books which I had purchased at & Noble. We took each day as

it

> came. " Unschooling " is unstructured, in that there is no curriculum (like

> Abeka, or Waldorf), so you take each day as it comes. Some days we went

on

> field trips, some days we worked in the garden. Some days we worked on

> " school work " for 4 or 5 hours. My plan was to have Wyatt begin with the

> Montessori materials while I worked with Stormy, however, I had to change

> that this year because he has a condition (apraxia) which prevents him

from

> speaking (among other things), and it became increasingly frustrating for

my

> dd who was getting less and less of my time, due to therapies, surgeries,

> etc. So I put her in Kindergarten (she is 6). I wanted her in 1st grade,

> but the district has rules. They also would not accomodate her skill

levels

> (she has a 3rd grade reading level and a 2nd grade math level - her social

> skills are up there with 8 and 9 year olds - and sometimes much better).

> Also, there is no full day kindergarten, and I had to either put her in at

> the 7:30am or 11am time frame. Forget 7:30a. And 11am wrecks my day (and

> everyone else's). So, in addition to the rotten behaviors she has picked

up

> in 2 months, I wasn't happy to begin with.

>

> Well, enough of my story... Here's what you tell people: 1)

academically:

> In the vast majority of cases, homeschooled children excel. They score

much

> higher on tests, and they reach specific levels much sooner (many start

> college courses at 16). 2) time: You can do in 2 hours what it takes the

> district to maybe do in 8 hours. 3) social: most children learn by

> example. from 3 to 6 they are exploring who they are and how they are.

> they'll try a lot of new things. if they are in school, their models are

> other children, who may or may not behave as you'd like - and that's what

> your child brings home. believe me, I'm there and it's hugely

frustrating.

> We had to get the time-out chair out again. My dd has no problem getting

> along with the other children in the neighborhood, who range in age from 1

to

> 11. They all request to play with her on a daily basis, and she has

already

> had several overnights. 4) You're kids are going to become more secure in

> themselves and their environment. By the time they're 8, they will have

had

> a lot of " you're great " inputs, very little bad input. They'll be more

> confident, and at that time, if they're ready to separate, then that's

great,

> put them in school (make sure they can accomodate the accelerated levels

your

> child may be at). If you don't have kids in your neighborhood, find a HS

> group in your area - they are everywhere. The net is a good place to

start

> the search.

>

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[Guest guest]

Periodically we went through the same thing. But, she did thrive, and she

did enjoy it. And she quit missing the other kids. I was spending a

straight 2 hours with her, and more. Which is more than I had in the

previous years (job, new baby). And now that she's back in school, she

complains. The school is boring. The kids are mean. Etc. On other days,

like today, when I bring up not putting her back in September (she has to be

in a gifted program, and I'm afraid we're losing ground because they wouldn't

do it for her this year), she gets mad. She enjoys the " socializing " . For

her, it is a matter of being able to practice her supervisory skills. She's

very good at organizing and teaching other children, and enjoys being in

charge, so that is what she's doing in her class now. I think that's fine,

but it's not okay. She would do much better at home. To resolve the issue

of " playmates " , should I decide to pull her out again (she has gotten the

" attitude " back since being in school,and it's annoying), I will be enrolling

her in a homeschool group that meets 1x a week, and you can make play dates

for other days. I am hoping to find one in my neighborhood, but the chances

are unlikely, but the one closest isn't that far (about 5 or 6 miles). Quite

honestly, she is as smart as a whip, but she really doesn't know what she

wants. That's why I'm here. So I'll take my time deciding, then I'll have

to put up with the fall-out (and either way there will be some -- she doesn't

like leaving every day, because her brother gets to stay home with me and

that bothers her). But eventually she settle down. I really think kids need

to be with their parents, period, until 8. They are much more confident and

sure of themselves by that age, less apt to be swayed by other children, and

much more in control of themselves. Largely due to the parents being there

constantly to support them. That isn't going to happen at school. They're

lucky to get any individual attention much less 4 hours of it.

Carol

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/3/00 3:25:58 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

appraise@... writes:

> In my shoes what would you do? If I end up sending him to kindergarten

> and/or first grade (b/c those would probably be the most difficult years

> with the two youngest), what do I do?

Give homeschooling a chance - give yourself a year and really try!!!

I'm going to do the same thing - GOOD LUCK

Chelly