Welcome to Heaven

[Guest guest]

While walking down the street one day a Member of Parliament is

tragically hit by a lorry and dies.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. at the

entrance.

'Welcome to heaven,' says St. . 'Before you settle in, it

seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you

see, so we're not sure what to do with you.'

'No problem, just let me in,' says the man.

Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do

is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where

to spend eternity.'

Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,' says the

MP.

'I'm sorry, but we have our rules.'

And with that, St. escorts him to the elevator and he goes

down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of

a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it

are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet

him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting

rich at the expense of the people.

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar

and champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who

has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time

that before he realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator

rises...

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where

St. is waiting for him.

'Now it's time to visit heaven.'

So, 24 hours pass with the MP joining a group of contented souls

moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time

and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. returns.

Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now

choose your eternity.'

The MP reflects for a minute, then he answers: 'Well, I would

never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I

would be better off in hell.'

So St. escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down,

down to hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a

barren land covered with waste and rubbish.

He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and

putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above. The devil comes over

to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. 'I don't understand,' stammers the

MP.

'Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and

clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a

great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of rubbish and my friends look

miserable. What happened?'

The devil looks at him, smiles and says,

'Yesterday we were campaigning... Today you voted.'