Widow fights AIDS stigma

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Widow fights AIDS stigma

The Telegraph 27 September 2001, New Delhi- Amitukil

This is the story of Farzana, 26, from the heart of Calcutta. The eldest of

three sisters and two brothers, she had a lot of aspirations as a high school

student: graduation, a decent job, a good and understanding husband. Today, she

is a widow, thrown out by her in-laws because she is HIV positive.

Her hopes dwindled after her father's ill health and its effect on his tailoring

business. By the time she crossed 20, her parents were desperate to marry her

off. They engaged a professional matchmaker who, after offering three choices,

came up with a well-placed and propertied young man from the city. " His parents

wanted a quick marriages. Thinking I would be well off, my parents agreed. I was

engaged in June 1997 and married off eight months later, " Farzana told this

correspondent.

Farzana's husband was the only son. His youngest sister was married off a year

after her marriage, with funds from his garments business. A week later, in

February 1999, Farzana's father-in-law died of a heart attack, and their

fortunes plummeted. Business was bad, compelling her mother-in-law to sell a

flat in the Taltala area of central Calcutta.

But the worst was yet to come. Around mid-1999, Farzana's husband, Mohd Sajid,

began feeling unwell. " He started losing weight, had bouts of diarrhoea and

became very irritable. I looked after him day and night, as much as I could, "

she recalled, tears welling in her eyes. Then, all of a sudden, her face

hardened. She blinked away her tears, and blurted out angrily: " They didn't tell

me anything till the day he died. He knew, his parents knew, and right from the

negotiations stage to the marriage and for three years after that, they did not

say a word. "

Sajid died of liver and several other complications on October 25 last year at

SSKM Hospital. Doctors said the complications had occurred in the wake of AIDS.

In 1995, Sajid was in Mumbai on way to Dubai, where some relatives had invited

him over to expand his business. One of the conditions for a visa was a test for

HIV. Sajid's blood was examined and found positive. " From the beginning, his

family knew and they cheated me, " Farzana said. After his death, her

mother-in-law and Sajid's sisters asked her to leave, even blaming her for his

death.

When doctors advised her to get a test done at Calcutta School of Tropical

Medicine, she still help hope. " If the result was negative, my family would not

demand any share of the property I am legally entitled to. " But that was not to

be. The young woman, too, had the virus. " My in-laws offered just Rs 10,000 for

my treatment, on the condition that I did not make any more demands. I refused.

I am determined to get what I am entitled to, as Sajid's wife. "

Now, she wants a job to be able to fight a legal battle against her in-laws.

Also, she will soon need about Rs 1,800 a month for the AIDS medicines that will

help her stay alive. But Farzana is determined. " Why should I suffer? What is my

fault? " she asks.

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Dr. Jagdish Harsh

François-Xavier Bagnoud (INDIA)

E-mail: jamworld@...

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