Marta

[Guest guest]

> Pat, thanks so very much. I haven't seen him in like six years.

I

> still remember his glow and hair, though. I never saw him with

that

> sexy Army haircut! LOL!

>

> Jim is miffed at me, anyway, pffft!

>

> I don't know if I am brave enough to call him...

>

> Marta

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When the time comes you will be able to do it,!!!!

Pat

[Guest guest]

> > Marta

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``

> {{{{{HUGS}}}}} that is my poor elbows bending to hug you,Just

> remember that we love you and if I can help you in anyway I will.

> Wondering what they would do if you started living in your bedroom

> and let the rest of the house go to pot,and you didn't do

anything??

> We love you

> Pat

Thank you, Pat. You are reading my mind, LOL! But I already tried

that and it hurt my soul. I need peace.

Marta

[Guest guest]

> Thank you, Pat. You are reading my mind, LOL! But I already

tried that and it hurt my soul. I need peace.

>

> Marta

Set them up with a mini apt. in the garage and lock the door.

Sharon in Onyx

queen of tough love

[Guest guest]

> Yes send me her last name and I think I already have the add for

kmc

> I sent a card from all of us today to Amy's dad hope no one minded

> Pat

I know it is 1830 FLower st. I think the zip is 93305

I sent you her name off line.

Marta

[Guest guest]

> Did you try to instant message me tonight? My daughter couldn't

remember exactly who it was.... I really do have my own IM account -

I just don't ever use it because I don't know any one elses IM

names -

It was me. Use my address for the im and it will get to me.

Marta

[Guest guest]

> Did you try to instant message me tonight? My daughter couldn't

remember exactly who it was.... I really do have my own IM account -

I just don't ever use it because I don't know any one elses IM

names -

It was me. Use my address for the im and it will get to me.

Marta

[Guest guest]

> WoW,how cool is that I went to lunch with a Doctor today...LOL

> God bless

> Pat

No, Pat, how great that I had the opportunity to go to lunch with

you!

marta

who didn't really understand the post about your shoulder! lol

except that you don't need surgery. Biceps tendon? was that it??

[Guest guest]

Biceps tendon? was that it??

Marta...your too much of a Doctor...let a lay person translate for

you (lay persons are my people ya know)...she has a small rotorcuff

tear (not big enough to require surgery) and bursitis accounts for

the rest of the pain.

Jo

How did I do with the translation Pat? I'm so tickled you don't

have to endure another surgery..lol...unless of course its Plastic

surgery to make you sexier! Bye bye batwings!

[Guest guest]

> Biceps tendon? was that it??

>

> Marta...your too much of a Doctor...let a lay person translate for

> you (lay persons are my people ya know)...she has a small

rotorcuff

> tear (not big enough to require surgery) and bursitis accounts for

> the rest of the pain.

>

> Jo

> How did I do with the translation Pat? I'm so tickled you don't

> have to endure another surgery..lol...unless of course its Plastic

> surgery to make you sexier! Bye bye batwings!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jo,

You did great and yes he said that I had bursitis therefore a shot

of steriods on the 9th.

Yep, I am going to once again [3rd time]call Michella and see if I

can get back on the calander one more time...LOL They are really

going to get so tired of me,and they are so great.

God bless

Pat

[Guest guest]

> Biceps tendon? was that it??

>

> Marta...your too much of a Doctor...let a lay person translate for

> you (lay persons are my people ya know)...she has a small

rotorcuff

> tear (not big enough to require surgery) and bursitis accounts for

> the rest of the pain.

>

> Jo

> How did I do with the translation Pat? I'm so tickled you don't

> have to endure another surgery..lol...unless of course its Plastic

> surgery to make you sexier! Bye bye batwings!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jo,

You did great and yes he said that I had bursitis therefore a shot

of steriods on the 9th.

Yep, I am going to once again [3rd time]call Michella and see if I

can get back on the calander one more time...LOL They are really

going to get so tired of me,and they are so great.

God bless

Pat

[Guest guest]

> Now I am sobbing and crying as I just remember that on the 13th I

> have to baby sit as Ruthie has her Sat class,where they go over to

> the coast for the day.Some physiology class[had to look that

up..lol]

> So now I have to bow out,I am so sorry

> pat

Pat, you aren't crying for reals, are you? I am touched, deeply

touched and will eat an extra bite for you!

Marta

[Guest guest]

~~~~~~~~~~~`

> Now I am sobbing and crying as I just remember that on the 13th I

> have to baby sit

======================

Now I'm sobbing too!

Jo

[Guest guest]

> Marta,

>

> Can you remove me from the mailing list? I would rather read the

emails from the web site...thanks,

>

> Kim

It is done.

marta

[Guest guest]

> Thank goodness you didn't say, " It is finished. " LOL

>

>

>

> _____

>

> From: Marta

>

>

>

> * It is done.

RFLMAO! I knew someone would pick up on that! Leave it to my man

Jim.

marta

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 3/26/2004 9:26:14 PM Pacific Standard Time,

mjs93311@... writes:

> My son is

> coming home for two weeks then he is off to Iraq for a year.

Hi Marta!

I'm so happy is coming home, and so sorry he will be going to Iraq.

I'll be praying for his safe return.

Hugs and blessings,

Ann

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 3/26/2004 9:26:14 PM Pacific Standard Time,

mjs93311@... writes:

> My son is

> coming home for two weeks then he is off to Iraq for a year.

Hi Marta!

I'm so happy is coming home, and so sorry he will be going to Iraq.

I'll be praying for his safe return.

Hugs and blessings,

Ann

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/8/2004 6:55:26 AM Pacific Daylight Time,

mjs93311@... writes:

> So I will stay physically alone forever, something I did

> not foresee. I can't say it doesn't sadden me, because it does.

Oh, Marta, I am so sorry you are feeling bad about the relationship issues.

I can see you are once again suffering from angst. I hope things get better

for you.

Hugs and blessings,

Ann

[Guest guest]

Marta,

I can feel your pain. Here’s a big hug {{{{{{{{{Marta}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I thank God that I have not experienced a doctor freaking out because of my hep

c. There are health care professionals out there who don’t react

badly to us. You just need to find them. Doctors get it too.

The surgeon that removed my gall bladder found out a couple years later that he

has hep c and had to quit doing surgery. I am fairly open about mine

these days. I want to educate people and not perpetuate the stigma.

If asked how I got it, I just say I’m not sure and list several possible

ways, because, of course I don’t really want to tell just anyone I used

to be a junkie.

I,

too, struggle with the idea of dating and getting intimate. I’ve

only had one opportunity to deal with the issue since being diagnosed and I

told him while we were still in the friends stage and he said he didn’t

care. But it didn’t last long anyway. But I didn’t date

much before being diagnosed either – too busy being a single mom.

I

hope you aren’t isolating yourself too much. There’s a big old

world out there and things to do and people to meet. Don’t let this

dragon beat you. We’re here for you. Sounds like you have

more venting to do.

Hugs,

De

New Member

Hello Everyone:

My name is Marta and I live in St. sburg, FL.

I was diagnosed on a fluke in 1996, a biopsy gone bad.

During a biopsy of my kidney, the doctor mistakenly took a piece of

my liver. Under testing procedures, the HepC was found.

A shocker because I always thought diseases like this only happened

to IV drug users. Goodness, was I wrong!

How do you cope with the fatigue (actually constant exhaustion),

depression, most of all, the ITCHING! Its driving me crazy.

I am presently on Hydroxyzine and Setraline for this and it works

temporarily, but the side effects enhance my fatigue. I sleep so

much I miss most of the day.

I was on " the treatment " . At the end of my course of treatment,

there was minimal change. I don't wish to go through that experience

again. And anyway, it may be too late for me.

Only my family and a few friends know I have HepC.

I was to be married the year I was diagnosed but didn't go thru with

it and never told him why. I have been alone ever since, afraid to

share my secret with anyone. Only recently do I have this feeling of

loneliness that at times its overwhelming. I don't necessarily miss

the sexual intimacy, but the closeness, hugging, touching, caressing,

and all those lovely feelings you get when you have that special

person. How do you tell a person you profess to care about that you

have HepC, when sometimes doctors are afraid to treat you for

anything for fear of contracting this death sentence?

Do you know how dirty it makes me feel when medical/dental

professionals treat me in such a fashion? Its gotten to a point where

I don't tell my condition unless absolutely necessary. I have even

gone to the extreme to avoid going to doctors altogether because I

don't want to face the humiliation again and again.

I have so much more to share with all of you.

Thank you for your time

Marta

[Guest guest]

I feel so bad for you Marta, you have to look out for yourself since your kids won't. If you have to kick their butts out enough is enough. I know where you are coming from my house is a disaster and don't want to do anything. You probably are in major depression, I am no doctor but I am depressed and get meds for it which helps to a point. Alot of people get their disability due to depression rather than trying for the hep c. I also don't voice my opinion or feelings to my family or friends but I have been like that my entire life, its no reflection on them. Good luck. Hugs and much love to you..Patdannegrl <dannegrl2003@...> wrote: Marta Here You Dont Have To Be Brave Or Strong. JustBe You Honey. Venting Is Good For You. We All Do ItAnd Sometimes Its The Little Things That Break TheCamels Back. But Remember This Please. . We Are Here .. We Know What You Are Going Thru . . And Knowing WhatYou Are Dealing With Is Normal For Us Helps Your MindHeal. Hugs From Texas. d--- Hepatitis CSupportGroupForDummies <martamendez57 > wrote:> Thank you :> I felt the hug all the way here.> To everyone on this sight: thank you for allowing meto find a venue > where I can express my feelings and not be judged.> Yes I have

plenty to vent but I don't want to scareanyone. I just > never discussed my feelings to anyone. I haveclosed myself to my > family and friends and put a brave front.> Whenever anyone asks me "How am I?", I answer"Fine".> I have one best friend that I have stoppedcommunicating with. Ever > since I became ill, I have slowly turned everyone Ilove away and > kept everything to myself. What's to say? "I'm dyingbut other than > that I'm ok dokey". > Right now its 4:12AM and I am wide awake. I justcam back from a > long ride from the market after being in the housefor over two weeks.> My sleep cycle has changed drastically. I sleep allday into the > evening, waking up enough to take care of my hygeineand drink some > water. It has created havoc in my household. I am sotired all the > time that the housework has piled up and I don'tknow how to

catch > up. My house is so dirty not even the dust bunnieswant to spend time > here any longer.> The only thing that gets fed on a daily basis are mypets.> My children live with me (ages 19,28,30), along witha grandchild I > have raised since infancy. I would like them all toleave so I can > get some peace. Harsh words coming from a motherbut I am so tired > all the time and they take for granted I am at homeall the time, so > they feel I should pick up the slack and do all thecleaning and > maintenance. I have told them I am too tired to doanything, but no > one listens. They think I am the same strong personI used to be; > or, my eldest daughter calls me lazy because Ihaven't washed clothes > or cooked a dinner.> Lazy! I wish she could be in my shoes for one day! Now she is > pregnant and expects me to sell my house, move

inwith her and take > care of the new baby. I can't even take care ofmyself!> I have tried to explain to them my HepC along withall my other > medical conditions have wiped me out and all I wantto do is sleep.> I have had my stresses with my Primary CarePhysician. I was > approved for Disability Social Security Benefitsprior to my seeing > her. There were forms that needed to be filled outrelated to my > disability and she won't fill them out because shefeels I am not > disabled. What do I have to do, overdose, haveanother heart > attack? Why do the health professionals here notrecognize > disability is not only physical? I have changeddoctors so many > times because of this and I will have to keep onsearching until I > find the right doctor.> I haven't been to anyone except my primary in over 2years, only > because I needed

refills. I know I'm playingrussian roulette with > my life but why bother. What will I get, morepills? I was taking > over 20 pills a day and I stopped them all exceptthe Sertraline and > Hydroxyzine, and I only take them to knock me outenough to get some > respite from the itching and catch someuninterrupted sleep.> I was never truly a negative person until my diseaseprogressed.> My entire life is so upside down. I fight everydaywith myself for > just another day. But in the end, I do nothing. Iwaste my time and > energy.> I have done enough damage for one day.> Thank you for your time and allowing me the forum tovent my > frustrations.> Marta> > --- InHepatitis CSupportGroupForDummies ," > Motley"

<dmotley@...> wrote:> >> > Marta, I can feel your pain. Here's a big hug > {{{{{{{{{Marta}}}}}}}}}}}}}}> > I thank God that I have not experienced a doctorfreaking out > because of my> > hep c. There are health care professionals outthere who don't > react badly> > to us. You just need to find them. Doctors getit too. The > surgeon that> > removed my gall bladder found out a couple yearslater that he has > hep c and> > had to quit doing surgery. I am fairly open aboutmine these > da=== Message Truncated === __________________________________________________________TV dinner still cooling? Check out "Tonight's Picks" on TV.http://tv./

[Guest guest]

Like

someone else said, none of what you’re feeling is foreign to us. We’ve

been there, we are there. I fully understand why and how you’ve

gotten to the place you’re in. My kids are 18 (in 10 days) & 19

and I allow then to take advantage of me, also. But the 19 y.o. has until

the end of the month to get a job or get out because he did well when he was

working, but his come-and-go-at-all-hours lifestyle and not contributing to the

household is too stressful for me now. So I really understand wanting

them to be gone. But I’m a little afraid for you to be all

alone right now. You say you’ve cut yourself off from everyone

except your children because of your hep c and you’ve cut yourself off

from almost all your doctors, too.

You’ve

been mistreated by some doctors and that has caused you to back away from

them. But there are plenty of doctors out there who will treat you with

respect. There is no shame in our disease. It crosses every ethnic

and socio-economic level. It’s irrelevant how we got it. And

although it CAN be a killer, it isn’t for sure and it’s probably

not tomorrow. Everyone one is dying from the moment they are born.

It’s God’s plan. So you don’t have to say “I’m

dying, thanks, how are you?” I don’t think you’ve said

what stage of progression your hep c is in or how much damage you have to your

liver. Have you ever investigated any of that? I’m concerned

that you’ve taken yourself of meds, except to sleep. I don’t

know what those were for or if your doctor agreed.

It’s

time to take care of Marta so you can get your life back, honey. You can’t

let this danged dragon whip you. We may not be able to get rid of him,

but we can sure thumb our noses at him and let him know he didn’t get the

best of us.

Reach

out to those people you’ve shut out and let them back in. You might

be doing them a disservice by not allowing them to love you through this.

Find a hep doctor and find out where you stand. Deal with any other

health issues. Tell your kids you love them and you want them near you,

but if they can’t help you they need to get out of your way. We all

want to crawl in a hole and pull the cover over sometimes, but the same

problems are there when we come out. Do the things you can and refuse to

accept guilt from anyone for the things you can’t. You’re in

my prayers.

{{{{{{{{{{{Marta}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

De

I felt your

hug. Thank you.

Thank you :

I felt the hug all the way here.

To everyone on this sight: thank you for allowing me to find a venue

where I can express my feelings and not be judged.

Yes I have plenty to vent but I don't want to scare anyone. I just

never discussed my feelings to anyone. I have closed myself to my

family and friends and put a brave front.

Whenever anyone asks me " How am I? " , I answer " Fine " .

I have one best friend that I have stopped communicating with. Ever

since I became ill, I have slowly turned everyone I love away and

kept everything to myself. What's to say? " I'm dying but other than

that I'm ok dokey " .

Right now its 4:12AM and I am wide awake. I just cam back from a

long ride from the market after being in the house for over two weeks.

My sleep cycle has changed drastically. I sleep all day into the

evening, waking up enough to take care of my hygeine and drink some

water. It has created havoc in my household. I am so tired all the

time that the housework has piled up and I don't know how to catch

up. My house is so dirty not even the dust bunnies want to spend time

here any longer.

The only thing that gets fed on a daily basis are my pets.

My children live with me (ages 19,28,30), along with a grandchild I

have raised since infancy. I would like them all to leave so I can

get some peace. Harsh words coming from a mother but I am so tired

all the time and they take for granted I am at home all the time, so

they feel I should pick up the slack and do all the cleaning and

maintenance. I have told them I am too tired to do anything, but no

one listens. They think I am the same strong person I used to be;

or, my eldest daughter calls me lazy because I haven't washed clothes

or cooked a dinner.

Lazy! I wish she could be in my shoes for one day! Now she is

pregnant and expects me to sell my house, move in with her and take

care of the new baby. I can't even take care of myself!

I have tried to explain to them my HepC along with all my other

medical conditions have wiped me out and all I want to do is sleep.

I have had my stresses with my Primary Care Physician. I was

approved for Disability Social Security Benefits prior to my seeing

her. There were forms that needed to be filled out related to my

disability and she won't fill them out because she feels I am not

disabled. What do I have to do, overdose, have another heart

attack? Why do the health professionals here not recognize

disability is not only physical? I have changed doctors so many

times because of this and I will have to keep on searching until I

find the right doctor.

I haven't been to anyone except my primary in over 2 years, only

because I needed refills. I know I'm playing russian roulette with

my life but why bother. What will I get, more pills? I was taking

over 20 pills a day and I stopped them all except the Sertraline and

Hydroxyzine, and I only take them to knock me out enough to get some

respite from the itching and catch some uninterrupted sleep.

I was never truly a negative person until my disease progressed.

My entire life is so upside down. I fight everyday with myself for

just another day. But in the end, I do nothing. I waste my time and

energy.

I have done enough damage for one day.

Thank you for your time and allowing me the forum to vent my

frustrations.

Marta

[Guest guest]

Just got my BS and i wasnt even required to turn up! Just called these people

1 770 621-2634, filled out a few forms and a bit of paperwork and was accredited

within 3 weeks at an internationally recognised Uni! How good is that!