FW: MY DOCTOR.....

[Guest guest]

Enjoy,

Priscilla

Love this, except I will arrive in heaven with both hands filled with

chocolate!

I love this Doctor! I'm not going to change a thing.

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is

this true?

A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on

exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you

live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want

to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. is distilled wine, that

mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that

way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you

have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise

program?

A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain...good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact,

they permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the

middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should

only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best

feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!

Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about

food and diets.

And remember:

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving

safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in

sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly

used up, totally worn out and screaming " WOO-HOO, what a ride!! "

AND.....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition

and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting

nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than

Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than

Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks

than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than

Americans..

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and

suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION:

Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.