Guest guest Posted September 29, 2004 Report Share Posted September 29, 2004 The idea of having the possibility to talk to you and share joys and sorrows makes me wonder what wonderful miracle internet is. As some of you might remember I went through bad times after my Mom passed away and when I started feeling better with anti-depressants, acupuncture and gym, I decided I had to do something different. So my whole life has changed, because I studied a lot and I am now working with special children in High school. I am also in the middle of a flare, with fever and my right arm and shoulder in deep pain. In the beginning of September I painted the school room all by myself and I thought that for the first time in 12 years I had my first remission period. Well, now I am again feeling stuck inside myself, wanting to move on, help and take care of my kids and not being able to. Yesterday my oldest boy who is 15 told me that I was always without patience at the end of the day. I found that so unfair that I just wept and wept, because after all life has been unfair to us and it is hard to keep smiling, at the end of the day, when all we can think of is to finish up dinner, washing the dishes and sink into our beds, even when we know that we will be having a long painful night and the morning will always be there wanting us to begin again with or without suffering. I have been having trouble dealing with my anger and I regret not having some sort of group in Portugal, near home, because I cannot drive many miles, so you are the only ones who truly understand. I also think that those of you who have understanding husbands and families have the most precious treasure...Loneliness can break one's heart and fill us with despair. I have medication and friendly doctors, but not many friends. Unfortunately these usually get tired of our complaints. I lack peace of mind in my life, something I was never able to regain after my husband left me, with my kids, in the middle of a flare. My family turned their backs on us and blamed me for my mother's stroke. Therefore, it is you and me and God. So, please, pray for me, too. I need your prayers badly because tomorrow I'll have a room full of handicapped kids to give love and understanding. Jacinta, AS and Fibro, Portugal Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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