Guest guest Posted March 15, 2001 Report Share Posted March 15, 2001 Dear Alix, I know what you are saying. I am a single, 45 year old Mom. My children can't understand why I'm sick so much and why I complain all the time. My daughter is an artist at 14. This year at Christmas she was doing " charactures " of members of the family. She drew me with a grimace on my face, rubbing my shoulder and I was saying Oh! The arthritis is killing me! Did anyone hear that joint just pop? I can't believe you didn't hear that. Oooo! Don't touch me there. Everything it hurts. " Needless to say I was very ashamed. I try to force myself to do everything they need but there are times when they have to take care of me. My first symptoms of arthritis occurred 18 years ago. I had knee surgery to have cartilage removed. I finally was diagnosed with RA and fibro last spring. This was only because my HMO doc finally took x-rays of my swollen joints and said there was some arthritis. She had for 7 years insisted it was " stress. " She questioned me asking me if I had been injured. I told her I had not, but she just shook her head. I called her after I got home and begged her to refer me to a RM. She did! He was wonderful!! Writes down every word I say, says, " Bless your heart " and tells me to pray that the meds will be a miracle for me. He has helped me through bleeding due to NSAIDS,(I tried them all!) severe allergic reactions and stomach pain. I am now on Methotrexate, Plaquinill, and folic acid. I actually have days when I can function. But, the one thing I didn't have was someone to share with who could understand what I was living with. I also have ITBS and severe migraines. This group is the most wonderful thing to come along in years. I've been sitting here reading the messages and crying with relief. I am not alone! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 15, 2001 Report Share Posted March 15, 2001 Hello---I am a 54 year old woman--retired on disability--RA diagnosed 30 years ago--realized that I have no one to really talk to about how I am feeling---esp. on bad days--totally tired of living with this thing---have a partner who is very physically active and she just doesn't get it---have a 12 year old who is a sweetie, but gets tired of mom being sick--two older children one of whom is on the outs with me and a big part of the reason is that I had sheltered them from how sick I really was and when the shit hit the fan and I was retired on disability and had to relocate--blamed me and felt abandoned--though it was her idea to stay and finish school where we were previously---not sure this makes any sense....but there you go....just rambling rant.... Alix Alix M. Hall ALKAMCA@... " My darling girl, when are you going to realize that being normal is not a virtue; rather it denotes a lack of courage. " -- Frances Owens Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 16, 2001 Report Share Posted March 16, 2001 Alix, Welcome to the group. This is a good place to rant when you need to - we all understand the frustrations you deal with because we have all had people in our lives who just don't understand what we are going through. This is a wonderful, caring group of people who can make you laugh on even your hardest days. I am 50 and have had RA for over 30 years so we are in a similar position - all too familiar with how this disease can interfere with the life we want to live. Thanks to good medical treatment and a very patient doctor, I feel better than I did for quite awhile. I appreciate every good day and try to never waste one of them. We look forward to hearing more from you and learning from your experiences. Hang in there - we will help you find a reason to smile. I know my sense of humor is the most important defense I have against this disease. Pat At 06:28 PM 03/15/2001 -0500, you wrote: >Hello---I am a 54 year old woman--retired on disability--RA diagnosed 30 >years ago--realized that I have no one to really talk to about how I am >feeling---esp. on bad days--totally tired of living with this thing---have >a partner who is very physically active and she just doesn't get it---have >a 12 year old who is a sweetie, but gets tired of mom being sick--two >older children one of whom is on the outs with me and a big part of the >reason is that I had sheltered them from how sick I really was and when >the shit hit the fan and I was retired on disability and had to >relocate--blamed me and felt abandoned--though it was her idea to stay and >finish school where we were previously---not sure this makes any >sense....but there you go....just rambling rant.... > >Alix >Alix M. Hall >ALKAMCA@... > > " My darling girl, when are you going to realize that being normal >is not a virtue; rather it denotes a lack of courage. " >-- Frances Owens > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 16, 2001 Report Share Posted March 16, 2001 : You are indeed not alone. Everyone in this group is so compassionate. They have made such a difference in my life. I don't post that often but daily read every one. It is hard to mask the pain and children have a hard time understanding. My grandchildren can't understand why I can't go places with them all the time and why I am so tired. I love them to death and it makes me feel so bad when I can't do things with them. Keep your chin up and remember we are here for you. Jan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 16, 2001 Report Share Posted March 16, 2001 Alix, I know this from both sides. My mother had RA for most of my life. Being the only girl, I got stuck with most of the helping out. Resent it, of course I did. Your girls are no different, if they were I would be worried. Sainthood is for the saints not for children (or teenagers). On the other hand, we had a great relationship. We spent a lot of time together and I miss her a lot. Lately, I have been experiencing parts of the same thing my mother did with RA. Trust me you really don't understand what this thing is until you have it. Luckily I have an excellent GP with a background in arthritis, who believes in being aggressive in treatment. After 6 months on DMARDs, my doctor put me on Methotrexate. It's been almost 6 months and I can move my hands and fingers again! I am still hoping it will start doing a bit more for my feet. MTX wasn't available when my mom was around. It's more than a little weird to realize that the medication I take, would have improved and lenghten my mothers life. OK, there is a moral to this. Because I got to live what your children are in the middle of now. Be an inspiration to your children. It is a testament to my mother that I can be hopeful. Subject: newby Hello---I am a 54 year old woman--retired on disability--RA diagnosed 30 years ago--realized that I have no one to really talk to about how I am feeling---esp. on bad days--totally tired of living with this thing---have a partner who is very physically active and she just doesn't get it---have a 12 year old who is a sweetie, but gets tired of mom being sick--two older children one of whom is on the outs with me and a big part of the reason is that I had sheltered them from how sick I really was and when the shit hit the fan and I was retired on disability and had to relocate--blamed me and felt abandoned--though it was her idea to stay and finish school where we were previously---not sure this makes any sense....but there you go....just rambling rant.... Alix Alix M. Hall ALKAMCA@... _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.