You hurt people worst by hurting yourself

[Guest guest]

Aren't you always trying to avoid hurting people? You're concerned

with the effect you have on them, right? Most of us spend a decent

amount of time each day on this. You may not even realize that you

do, but you probably do. You're probably like the rest of us.

Most of us have done some really awful things to people, me too. And

that's what we focus on when we think about hurting people -- we focus

on what we directly do to them, rather than what we do to ourselves;

on how we treat them, rather than on how we treat ourselves.

Generally, we don't realize that when they watch us harm ourselves, we

are hurting them in a way that cuts deeper, and that they carry with

them longer.

If you look back over your life this becomes obvious to you. People

have cheated you in business deals, betrayed you in romance, thwarted

your intentions -- you name it, they've done it. And you got over it.

But did you ever get over what your father did to himself? If you

did, if you really got over it and haven't just come to terms with it,

well, that was difficult, wasn't it?

The people who love you want you to be happy. They want you to be

healthy. They want you to do everything you possibly can for yourself

in each moment. They want to see that happening. And that makes them

happy, healthy, and proactive.

These are the good old days.

Your friend, Bayard

*gvg