Whistle effect in ears

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone.

Please bear with me as right now I am feeling really very

bad. I know one should never start on a negative note like

this but right now I don’t want to pretend optimism. I am

typing it all, hoping that I might feel better by taking it

all out. There is no other place I can do that because I

don’t exactly love sharing my ‘CMT Blues’ with friends. What

else can they do except listen? So here I am……

I am a positive person and CMT hasn’t bothered me much till

now. I have always known it’s a progressive disease and that,

not just feet, but soon my ears and backbone, too, can get

affected. I had been prepared for it, or so I thought.

It’s been two days. There are excessively irritating,

excruciating and horrible whistle like sounds in my ears. My

ears had been perfectly alright till day before yesterday.

But when I woke up yesterday, all sounds I was used to

hearing early in the morning were changed. Just those

whistles were there. So the deterioration has begun, I

thought. I have seen my elder brother going through this

phase. I never understood how difficult it must have been

for him. Even now I don’t because I haven’t borne everything

that he went through. I mean, it’s really bad. I know my ears

are getting worse. I know my hearing is getting impaired

with each whistle……yet there is nothing I can do about it…….

..it’s so traumatizing.

Everything seems to have changed within these 2 days.

Telephone has been my lifeline but since 2 days I haven’t

understand a word on phone. I can’t hear the things my

teacher says in school. And I can’t even explain this to my

best friend who kept on waiting for my call on her birthday.

My own sound has changed, mom’s sound has changed, water

filling in the bucket sounds different, I myself sound

different. (I haven’t sung a casual song since yesterday

because I am unable to relate to or recognize my own voice)

……..typing sounds, too. Hehe I can feel it getting a funny

touch. But frankly speaking……its HORRIBLE……it is feeling like

a nightmare.

I wonder if my hearing has been finally impaired to this

extent now or will it get better if these whistles stop

(if they ever do). I know I would need hearing aids after

some months……why can’t we skip out this period in between,

why can’t I skip out this stage of ‘whistles’ and a whole

lot of ‘pardons’ in between???

Oh well……somehow I had a hope that maybe, MAYBE, just maybe

my ears will remain ok. Huh!

I have a got a terrible headache thinking all this. It feels

like my head might just burst off any moment. Have tried to

keep myself upbeat……thinking of so much that I have. I really

do have a lot……nature hasn’t made me under privileged or

anything like that. But the moment I hear something (the

sound of which is so much different than before), all my

positive approach goes to a bin. 24 hours…….all I am hearing

is ………these whistles and some blurred, unclear sounds of

people I have always loved hearing to..

Thank god these days my exams going on so I get busy with

studies…..otherwise it would have been hell.

It feels like hell. It really does.

If there is anyone who feels like sending me an encouraging,

upbeat and funny mail to make me feel better, please do so as

soon as possible. I shall really be greatful. After all that

is why this group is here………for us to be with each other,

right?

Reema