inspiration

[Guest guest]

A time comes in your life when you finally get it...

When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your

tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!

Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child

quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you

shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle

of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is

your awakening. You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting

for something to change or for happiness, safety and security to come

galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that

he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the

real world there aren't always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that

matter) and that any guarantee of " happily ever-after " must begin with

you and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone

will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are...and

that's OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And

you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the

process a sense of new found confindence is born of self-approval.

You stop bitching and blaming other people for the things that they did

to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can

really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always

say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will

always be there for you and that it's not always about you. So, you

learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the

process a sense of safety & security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as

they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailities and in

the process a sense of peace & contentment is born of forgiveness. You

realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around

you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been

ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to shift through all the crap

you've been fed about .....how you should behave, how you should look

and how much you should weigh what you should wear and where you should

shop and what you should drive... how and where you should live and what

you should do for a living... who youshould date, who you should sleep

with who you should marry and what you should expect of a marriage, the

importance of having and raising children or what you owe your parents.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And

you begin reassessing and redefining who you are what you really stand

for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin

to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never

have brought into to begin with and in the process you learn to go with

your instincts. You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive.

And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you

stop maneuvering through life merely as a " consumer " looking for your

next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the

outdated ideals of a by gone era but the mortar that holds together the

foundation upon which you must build a life. You learn that you don't

know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't

teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and

responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to

say NO.

You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and

that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you learn about love.

Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love,

when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn not to project

your needs or feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not

be, more beautiful, more intelligent, more loveable or important because

of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn to

look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them

be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You

learn that just as people grow and change so it is with love....and you

learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms...just

to make you happy.

And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely... And you look in the

mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5

or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside

your head and agonizing over how you " stack up. "

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing

things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of

entitlement are perfectly OK...and that it is your right to want things

and to ask for the things that you want...and that sometimes it is

necessary to make demands.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love,

kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. And,

you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you to glorify you

with his touch...and in the process you internalize the meaning of

self-respect.

And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to

care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced

diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn

that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So

you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter

fuels the soul. So take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn, that for the most part, in life you get what you believe you

deserve...and that much of life truly is a self-fullfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that

wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making

it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve sucess

you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no

one can do it all alone and that it's OK to risk asking for help.

You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber

baron of all time. FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and

through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle

it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your

terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it

living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't

always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that

sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these

occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't

punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life

happening.

And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego. You

learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be

understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and

poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are

wrong and to building bridges instead of walls

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple

things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the

earth can only dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running water, a

soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and

you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever

to settle for less than your heart's desire. And you hang a wind chime

outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a

point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every

wonderful possiblity.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a

stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want

to live as best as you can.