peace of mind - Enhancing Relationships

[Guest guest]

TRUST is

a very important factor for all

relationships. When trust is

broken , it is the end of the relationship. Lack of

trust leads to

suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes

enmity and enmity may result in separation.

A telephone operator told me that one day she received

a phone call.

She answered, " Public Utilities Board. " There was

silence. She repeated, " Public Utilities Board. "

There was still no answer. When she was going to cut

off the line, she heard a lady's voice, " Oh, so this

is Public Utilities Board. Sorry, I got the number

from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose

number it is. "

Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to

the couple if

the telephone operator answered with just " hello "

instead of " Public Utilities Board " .

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RIGHT SPEECH*

There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning

that " A speech will

either prosper or ruin a nation. " Many relationships

break off because

of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each

other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy.

We may say anything without considering if it would

hurt the other party.

A friend and her millionaire husband visited their

construction site. A

worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, " I,

! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary

school. " On the way home, her millionaire husband

teased her, " Luckily you married me. Otherwise you

will be the wife of a construction worker. " She

answered, " You should appreciate that you married me.

Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you. "

Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed

for a bad

relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be

reversed.

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NO POINTING FINGERS

A man asked his father-in-law, " Many people praised

you for a

successful marriage. Could you please share with me

your secret? "

The father-in-law answered in a smile, " Never

criticize your wife for

her shortcomings or when she does something wrong.

Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings

and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband

than you. "

We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many

people are

afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes

a mistake, he would look

around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at.

This is the start of a war. We should always remember

that when we point one finger at a person, the other

four fingers are pointing at ourselves.

If we forgive the others, others will ignore our

mistake too.

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CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?

A person visited the government matchmaker for

marriage, SDU, and

requested " I am looking for a spouse. Please help me

to find a suitable one. " The SDU officer said, " Your

requirements, please. " " Oh, good looking, polite,

humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and

dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home

during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me

interesting stories when I need companion for

conversation and be silent when I want to rest. " The

officer listened carefully and replied, " I understand

you need television. "

There is a saying that a perfect match can only be

found between a

blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife

cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf

husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many

couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and

dream of perpetual perfect relationship.

Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears

off,they wake up and discover that marriage is not a

bed of roses. The nightmare begins.

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NO OVERPOWERING*

Many relationships fail because one party tries to

overpower another,

or demands too much. People in love tend to think that

love will conquer all and their spouses will change

the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not

the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the

meaning that " It is easier to reshape a mountain or a

river than a person's character. " It is not easy to

change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the

spouse character will cause disappointment and

unpleasantness.

It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower

our

expectations..

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PERSONAL PERCEPTION*

Different people have different perception. One man's

meat could be

another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from

the market. On the way home, a boy commented, " Very

stupid. Why neither of them rides on the donkey? " Upon

hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the

donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw

it and commented, " The husband is the head of family.

How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband

is on foot? "

Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the

husband ride on the

donkey.

Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She

commented, " How can the man ride on the donkey but let

the wife walk. He is no gentleman. " The husband thus

quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey.

Then, they met a young man. He commented, " Poor

donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons.

They are cruel to you. " Hearing that, the husband and

wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and

carried it on their shoulders.

It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a

narrow bridge, the

donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their

balance and fell into the river. You can never have

everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you.

Never in the past, not at present, and never will be

in the future.

Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our

conscience is

clear..

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BE PATIENT*

This is a true story which happened in the States. A

man came out of

his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement,

his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents

into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his

son, knocked him away, and hammered the little boy's

hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed

down, he rushed his son to the hospital.

Although the doctor tried desperately to save the

crushed bones, he

finally had to amputate the fingers from both the

boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery &

saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, " Daddy,

I'm sorry about your truck. " Then he asked, " but when

are my fingers going to grow back? " The father went

home & committed suicide.

Think about this story the next time someone steps on

your feet or u

wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your

patience with someone u love.

Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings

often can't. Too

often we fail to recognize the difference between the

person and the

performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater

than revenge.

People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes.

But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us

forever.

* " Good Life starts only when you stop wanting a better

One " *