- You Know you're Old When..

July 11, 2006

> You Know you're Old When..

>

> You know you're old when....

>

> - In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

> - It's harder and harder for sexual harassment charges to stick.

> - Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

> - No one expects you to run into a burning building.

> - People call at 9 p.m. and ask, " Did I wake you? "

> - People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

> - There's nothing left to learn the hard way.

> - Things you buy now won't wear out.

> - You buy a compass for the dash of your car.

> - You can eat dinner at 4:00

> - You can live without sex but not without glasses.

> - You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch

> television.

> - You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.

> - You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.

> - You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.

> - You get into a heated argument about pension plans.

> - You got cable for the weather channel.

> - You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

> - You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

> - You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the

> room.

> - You send money to PBS.

> - You sing along with the elevator music.

> - You talk about " good grass " and you're referring to someone's lawn.

> - Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.

> - Your back goes out more than you do.

> - Your ears are hairier than your head.

> - Your eyes won't get much worse.

> - Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

> - Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.

> - Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them

> either.

> - Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

>

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